成人快手

I can't get my leg up that high. Remind me to get a shorter valet next time.

When I pass on, I bet they'll use this photograph for my Hobbituary

Here I am, ruddy Prince of Wales, and Jackson couldn't even be bothered to put a tie on!

Legolas? Good grief! I told the family we were going to a theme park near Windsor.

成人快手 Caption Competition "sitting duck" for Camilla skeptics.

"As if one didn't have big enough shoes to fill..."

I hear what you're saying, sir, but I can assure you it's NOT designed to keep your nose warm.

Obviously true what they say about big feet - it's in the genes!

I've borrowed these boots from a friend and I have never seen those drugs before on my life! Now please remove these handcuffs!

The Prince of Wales did not have this in mind when he asked to see the Duke of Wellington

So, the whole of Narnia's in there, is it?

So the other one has bells on?

I hear that Prince Charles has been Tolkein to shoe trees

Andy Serkis loses out as a new actor takes over the role of Gollum

Time for some sole searching,Your Highness.

Yes, one does like fantasy, but one prefers "Game of Thrones"

Charlie Boot My Finger

Oh what a good idea, You keep your fish and chips in it.

No, I meant I wanted to see a chemist's

I've lost my precious. It's not in there, is it?

Call off the search for Cinderella. I can't stand women with big feet.

and what do you shoe?

No, thank you. One usually has little trouble putting one's foot in it.

Cinderella man, indeed.

The Royal Footman.

After Her Majesty's Skyfall, Q gets Charles ready to take on Rosa Klebb.

Surprise new entrant in the Throne a Welly competition

Boy, do Cinderella's feet smell

"One had been hoping for the patter of slightly smaller feet..."

Actually, Sir, I did not say you should be shod

You say there's evidence that one's daughter-in-law has been getting her kit orf again?

It would seem one has been given the boot.

My word, those hobbits ARE small, aren't they?!

Well, thank you for showing me the boot. But shouldn't you pull that sword out of your side?

Foot prince.

So this is what replaced Kinky Boots production. Far more practical really.

My, this fantasy world of Middle Earth is amazing! But one can't wait to get back to the real world of Windsor Castle and the Royal Family.

Walk-On Heir.

Don't show it to my father ...he'll put his foot in it

And how many hobbits will it fit?

The Prince decides to pick up a few stylish bargains as yet another High Street retailer goes bust

Good Lord you've still got Heather Mills leg in there my man.

So, your next film is a re-make of 'Das Boot'?

Do you have them in Black, size 8, slip-on?

Phillip Schofield was finding ever more devious ways to get his messages across to those in power.

...and before this job I made Ann Widdicombe's shoes for Strictly

If you promise not to steal it we'll remove the cuffs from you

I haven't thought of one yet, but hats off to CindyAccidentally for #45, I laughed a LOT at that one :)

We had a budget overrun mainly due to the cost of king size Odor-Eaters.

And apparently Pippa Middleton wrote in her party book: 鈥淚t鈥檚 best if you wear them on your feet..鈥�

Pinstripe jacket, pinstripe waistcoat and jeans? And you call yourself a wardrobe specialist!

Prince Charles' visit to Wellington was rather shorter than he expected.

Clearly, royalty doesn't have the same cachet as it used to - Prince Charles had been hoping to meet at least one of the actors from the film

Well, you may not like it Your Majesty, but these *are* actually our soles..

So, do I have your permission to put up a sign outside saying "Cobblers to Prince Charles"?

OK, Peter, what about a film version of "The Old Man of Lochnagar" then?

You don't have that in a slightly larger size, do you? It's for Camilla.

One still can't understand why anyone would want to sell medicine in boots ...

I've an old boot just like that at home

"I think they may have belonged to one's relative"

"I was wondering where my soul had got to..."

One is practised at putting one's foot in it.

Ah yes! Is this what one generally refers to as a bootee call?

And the morning after the Ball, I told my butler to search the kingdom high and low, to find the maiden whose foot fits this slipper.

My footman insists on trying it on nevertheless.

Yep - thats what I put my foot in when it is not in my mouth

Obviously, standing, looking at an old boot is not an entirely new experience for one!

Oh yes, I see him know. I hadn't even realised Tom Cruise was in The Hobbit...

Just as one suspected: 'Made in Italy'.

Finally, the perfect gift for Mitt.

Are you absolutely sure she didn't leave a glass slipper?

...and they 'live' in there?

I'm sure Papa lost one very similar to that a few years ago, can you do a DNA test

Upper class.

Father told me once when he was a lad that he had shoes with a compass in the heel. One thought like Hobbits, they never existed . . . Does the compass still work?

...and God bless all who sail in her...

Now....which is the big heel?

"Here kitty kitty"

"And what do you have here?"
"A shoe...."
"Why - bless you - so what is it?"

And I always thought the hob nails went on the outside. Instead it's the hob bit inside.

Yes..extraordinary that it looks big enough to cover my ears as well.

So there is an app now where I can just upload this pic and it will give me the price at my nearest shoe store - Amazing what technology can do for us

"And surprisingly, these belonged to Nancy Sinatra"

The only clue of The Mannequin Assassin's presence was his beer belly...

We can tell it's a fake by the label - "John Lobbit of St James's Street"

Must belong to one's father, he's always putting his foot in it!

I want a drink and asked you find me a sommelier ... not to find something smellier

these boots were made for one King...

And you say she dropped this when the chimes went at midnight? Well I think we'll give this one a miss, don't you?

Hmmmm - reminds me of someone

Waiting two hours you say? Heavy too, I expect. I don't suppose you've got it in an eight?

Yeah - thats about all the luggage I could get here free of charge with Easyjet

And this is what we mean by "putting your foot in it!"

We finally discover how Duchy Originals cheese products are imbued with that wonderfully rustic smell

Who knew Alec Baldwin was also taking part in Movember?

'Foot and mouth' was one of the more challenging charades that day.

Banks are now resorting to desparate payment schemes for PPI settlements

These boots were made for Tolkein

These boots were made for Tolkien

Royal Knees Up