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I can't see Wayne Rooney wearing THOSE

Well, they're not what campaigners want to help stamp out violence in football

Lost in translation: "Italy select Stilletto for Euro 2012"

Sorry, Mr. Terry, but they don't come in your size

Do you honestly think Greece will still be in the Euro at the end of the competition?

Of course, we would have produced a pair for the Olympics but there wasn't enough space

Unlikely things to find in Margaret Thatcher’s handbag: #173

Did you say they were designed by La Boot in?

Wayne Rooney just couldnt' work out where to put the laces ...

Try taking a flag kick in them

These shoes were made for winning

And these are in your size too, Your Majesty

Suddenly, every woman in Europe knew exactly what their husbands were going to give them for their birthdays

And these shoes certainly say something about the person who'd wear them

Be stiletto my foolish heart.

The Only Way Is Euro

Rupaul's Drag Race took on a more continental theme this series.

The Fashion Police realise they'll need reinforcements for Euro 2012

A Ferdinand is worth two in the boots

Beware of Greeks wearing lifts.

"Now come on, Englebert, do you want to get some more votes next year or not?"

And, of course, each stiletto heel has a stud on it ...

Because sensible shoe wearing members hate them.

Ah, Choo!

Sorry, it must be the hay fever.

At the Greek auction of assets, lot #1456 was up. Several thousand pairs..

Now everybody could be as tall as Peter Crouch

The grand unveiling of Rio Ferdinand's new boots reveals just why he wasn't selected

They are awful, hope there is a penalty shoe out

I reckon we'd have a better chance of winning a penalty shoot-out with Victoria wearing those than David in his boots

Lost in translation no 361:
-------------------------
Launching the elegant new design: "Athlete's Foot"...

An embarrassing moment for Wayne Rooney as Customs checks his cases

Take that Manolo Blahnik.

Anybody with this taste in shoes is likely to walk with their feet positioned like this

And attached to the heels, incontrovertible evidence that Rooney DID stamp on Carvelho's groin in the World Cup 2006 match against Portugal

Victoria Beckham unveils her new earrings

No Ashley. Just No.

When the truth about the England captain's hamstring injury was exposed, the ensuing scandal became known as Terry-gait.

So, while you're winning for England, you're aerating the grass at the same time

Stead and Simpson rallies itself for one last stab at keeping solvent

If Carlstadt did monetary policy.

Now the choice of weapon for all football hooligans

It was all well and good having boot sponsors insisting you wore their kit, but when Prada took over..

And for the runners-up......

Cheryl Cole takes a Rorschach Test

Finely tuned football fashion antennae

Not to be outdone, the WAGS launch their new "tornament kit" on the eve of 2012.

Next up is Colleen sporting the faux leather choker and matching clutch bag...

She's a Penalty Choo tout

Customs officials finally discover what was in all those suitcases at Heathrow last week

For non sports fans, Euro 2012 really was a load of cobblers

These'll help Theo WalkOdd

Last year's winner of The Apprentice comes up with his second invention for Lord Sugar

But the shoes had every country's flag on them - how did everybody know the WAGs were English?

Meanwhile in Soho, football fans developed their own unique way to celebrate the Euro 2012 competition.

Another own goal for British fashion

At least they're more tasteful than the ones we brought out for the Queen's Jubilee

The one in this hand is for my left foot, but I can never remember which foot the other one's for so that's why it's got the question mark.

Excuse me, Madam, but I can't see the game Would you mind taking your shoes off, please?

"I'll run up in flags. Poland will see who salutes it"

Cardiff City finally settle on their team's colours

The Wags were waging war on the offenders going in studs ups

Dear ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ,
Why, Oh Why, was Fearne Cotton chosen to present your Euro 2012 coverage?

If Carlsberg did monetary policy.

Back of the net? More like back of the wardrobe!

A saleswoman demonstrates the most comfortable way to wear the new shoes

Sidekick helps the Invisible Woman to look over the wall and watch the match

Once you've got her attention you can begin explaining the offside rule. Again.

Patrician heel thyself.

Jospeh finds the shoes to match his Dreamcoat

I'm sorry sir, the largest size we have is a 7.

The blonde was obviously told they fit like a glove.

In Germany, they're known as Das Boot

A mile in THOSE shoes?!

Unfortunately, with Sarkozy no longer President of France, msot of these shoes will go unsold

Now lets see you do the Hokey Cokey when you put your left foot in

Return them? But Madam's been kicking in them!

♫ Pardon Me Roy, is that the Flag-for-Wag-a-Choo-Shoes?

We've printed the German flag on the sole, because we're going to be putting pressure on them and hoping they'll hold the whole thing together.

Andy Carroll was flagged for offside too often

A parable for the current crisis.

... and when they do eventually lose on penalties, the England flag can simply be peeled off like this.

Ronaldo was about to get baby a new pair of Choos.

If you'd have put away your Subbuteo set when I asked you, this would never have happened!

There are two versions to choose from the full size or the half mast style

Imelda Marcos was delighted that her trip to the Ukraine was going to prove useful after all

The Golden Boot award is going to be a little different this year.

Heel, heel, the gang's all here

At game's start it's fleet of foot and at game's end it's flagging feet.

Latest footwear to be unfurled on the nation

On the Spanish & Greek versions of these the footballs are 20% bigger because of the higher inflation

pardon me boy, is that the euro footie shoe shoe?

I bet she hasn't set foot in all of those countries

o sole euro

Unfortunately, with Sarkozy no longer President of France, most of these shoes will go unsold

(correction)

OK...75 Euro and I'll throw in a football

With Peter Crouch left out of the squad, England look for ways to find that extra height.

"So when they said you wouldn't want to be in Angela Merkhel's shoes, it wasn't metaphoric?"

'March of the Mods' was proving quite difficult until the addition of the heel stop

As voice casting begins for another Top Cat movie, Melinda learns she is to voice Choo-Choo

No Toto! The red ones. We get anywhere withthose!

Long John Silver's wife couldn't decide which one to buy him for his birthday