成人快手

I aint going South of the Thames after midnight, mate

Well, it certainly isn't going to take an infinite number of monkeys an infinite amount of time to wreck this car

OK, so I stalled once, but have I passed?

OK, where to, Mr. Attenborough?

You hot-wire it. YOU swallowed the keys.

The lions have got the passengers - we're having the car.

Hold on a minute... apes driving a... you Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

Jeremy Clarkson prepares to insult the Ugandan Ambassador to the UK

Give a baboon a lift and you transport him for a day, but teach him to drive...

The car soon to have that Ba-Ba-Boom...

First stop Nanajing to do some doughnuts!

Google finally reveals how its driverless car functions

You forgot the keys again, didn't you?

The Americans love eating whilst they drive, so we were going to fit a micro-wave - in the end, we settled for a g'rilla

Welcome to the road rage cafe, may I help you?

The secret behind Google's "driverless" cars.

I don't care what you say, they're definitely making the driving test easier!

Surprise as Stig's replacement is revealed.

The windscreen wiper's sticking? I'll get my mechanics onto it straight away, Sir.

OK, let's see if Ford's new parking sensor really works ...

Gorillas in the Mitsubishi

Hey, there's a computer in the back here, and I think I've just written the complete works of Shakespeare

What do you mean, which wrench do I want?

They signed the letter "All yours. Baboons-car, Baboons-car, Baboons-car, ya-ya"

We've taught them to clean windscreens at the lights, but we have a few minor details to work out.

I see yer problem Mrs.. sniff.. Its yer passengers. I鈥檒l need a monkey wrench..

"Quick! Here comes the zookeeper! Right turn, Clyde!"

Indian car manufacturer criticised for using unskilled labour

When you said the wheel man was a right ape...

Now where did I put the money for the fuel ?

This is so much better than a typewriter.

After yet another complaint about the Top Gear presenters, the replacement line-up is unveiled.

See no mirror. Hear no signal. Do no manoeuvre.

Let me see if we have money for tolls...

The pitches for the follow-up to "Snakes on a Plane" had reached a new low.

Designed by computer

Built by robots

Serviced by monkeys

If Richard Hammond is tall enough to reach the pedals, surely you can manage it.

Now the M40 was clear again, Liverpool fans had begun to return from the Cup Final

New Top Gear presenters promise to go back to exhausive car testing.

For God鈥檚 sake Terry, how many times: 鈥淢irror, *then* Indicate, Manoeuvre..鈥�

With fuel tax due for another rise, we see very few baboons affording to have a car these days.

Of course we can put the badge on it - this is a Baboons' Motor Wagon

Proof that an infinite number of monkeys in an infinite number of factories could produce the all-new Cortina

We don't clamp cars any more, Sir. If you park inappropriately, we just let a load of monkeys loose in your car.

Sacre Bleu! Mon Key?

As Samantha Brick's friends arrived to pick her up, they made a concerted effort to check hair and makeup, in an attempt to keep standards up...

"Hey fellas, you know that joke about how many elephants can you fit in a mini? Well I've had a great idea....."

I don't know about the complete works of Shakespeare, but they've certainly learnt how to write "It is saf to leve your kar here in the monky howse"

Warning: Baboons in mirror are closer than they appear.

If I hear one more 'are we there yet?' before we get started, I won't be held responsible...

Why are we working in the automobile industry? Well, we were all sacked by the product-naming division of IKEA.

Ok, here鈥檚 another: 鈥淗ow many baboons does it take to change a gearbox?鈥�

24 Hours of Lemurs

Poor Harry stole a Jaguar - and it ate him!

How do you start it, I don't know it must be a Monkey puzzle

So, that's how evolution works? said the creationist

Yes, but does it have a banana holder?

Toyota regrets naming its newest car "Banana".

"Hey guys, once we've mastered this, we can go for our HGV license and finally become the Artic Monkeys..."

Now we get the chance to sit in cramped, claustrophobic little cars whilst watching animals roam freely in the wild

Of course we work here. We're from Rhesus and Development.

Ever wondered why there's a fence around all safari parks? That's so he can sell all these car parts for us.

We're urban gorillas, geddit?

Now that's something you don't see on the M25 everyday of the week, I can't wait to hear this on the Traffic Updates.

All new British cars must now be fitted with hair bags

And you thought global warming only meant a few more migrating mosquitoes.

It is never a good idea to play the Monkees鈥� Greatest Hits in front of a troop of Baboons..

Well, it's a nice compartment, but what would a monkey want with a glove?

Yeah, well the problem 'ere is your indicator's faulty and the lads reckon it'll take 'em at least a week to get a new part.

Moments later, the world experienced the first ever "Sonic Baboon".

"Do you remember when we used to think wasps were the worst thing about English picnics?" said Albert ruefully.

"Where to, Macaque?"

The guys at NASA like to have a little fun with the astronauts as they finally step off the shuttle...

Drunk? Was I driving erratically, Officer?

Revealed! Google's driverless car...

GTA 5 "Wild in Africa" was selling well

Apart from the heat, the sand, the flies and the terrain, the Paris-Dakar rally had it's own unique problems to contend with.

And don't bother stealing clothes - the sleeves are always too short

If all of us sit down at our typewriters, we should be able to come up with the winning caption, no problem.

Not only are they cheap, but they're the most thorough customs officials we've ever had

The secret of Google's driverless car was revealed

It's clean, Doyle. I tore everything out of this car except the rocker panels ...

I'm getting a little suspicious, Mavis. Did they actually say they were from the AA?

Today's baboons have so many worries: are the bananas fresh, is grooming liable to lave pone's nails dirty and is the 2.2i Type S Honda Accord *really* better than the 2.4i EX?

Does my bum look red in this?

And here we see a family of baboons charmingly at play on an old car, showing off their dexterity and prehensile skills as they ... hang on, that's my ruddy car! Where's my gun?

A Public Information film shows how the Government's scrappage scheme worked

I鈥檝e found it, I鈥檝e found it, down here in the footwell 鈥� John鈥檚 contact lens from last year..

This ought to be easy, it said 'automatic' on the back...

Baboon with a vroom

I think there was some misunderstanding here, Sir. You thought you had signed up for valet parking, whereas in fact the service we offer is for VALLEY parking. We just push the cars down the hill into the bottom of the valley. Sorry about that, Sir.

MPH - Monkeys Per Hour

Fundamentally why the planet will never be able to rise against us.

Ford unveil their all-new Monkeo

I don't get this - I'm indicating to turn right, but the car's not moving ...

I'm Drive No Evil

No, no. When I said 'it may need your monkey wrench' I didn't mean THIS!

Typical, you leave dad to watch the kids and all hell breaks loose

It was Derek's first automatic car. But if the handbook said to leave it in Park ...

Mercifully the family was safe, but those mischievious humans did manage to rip off the wipers and both front doors.