Paper Monitor
11:40 UK time, Friday, 4 November 2011
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Today's newspapers appear to have been inspired by Calvin Harris's song The Girls. One newspaper in particular has gone crazy.
The front page has Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi apparently leering at Argentina President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner.
Page two has three young blonde ladies ice skating. Inside, the G20 protests are illustrated by three young women dressed as clowns.
And there's a big picture of the two new Bond girls for your delectation. And a big image of TV presenter Katie Derham in a sparkly red dress.
And on the next page a picture of actress Amber Heard with her back to the camera in a rather tight-fitting gown.
Yes, you guessed it, it's another edition of the Daily Telegraph. Colonel Tufton-Bufton must be getting rather hot under the collar these days.
Only the Daily Star can hope to rival them these days.
A number of the papers find a great deal of space for a picture of new Bond girl Berenice Marlohe. But not the Daily Mail - they're much more interested in the idea of the first black Miss Moneypenny.
Particularly as actress Naomie Harris is from north London and went to Cambridge. Classic Mail fayre.
Also classic Mail is Jan Moir's analysis of Hugh Grant's lovelife, and that of other celebs, in her column. Her conclusions are unremarkable, but her language is fruity.
She refers to an alleged tryst involving Justin Bieber as a "30-second rompini".
Then there's a reference to somebody else's "speedy-boarding love technique" and Paper Monitor will not forget the phrase "knickers-ahoy zeitgeist" in a hurry.
Particularly not with a picture of Kirstie Allsopp on the next item along.
The 
