成人快手

Hey, he plays tennis even faster than I do

Love at first sight

Terracotta over-army

I know I need to improve my defensive play, but I'm not sure that armour will really help

Hey, is that communication device more reliable than a Blackberry?

If it's life-size, how come it's taller than me?

I like Andy Murray, and then again I like bronze Andy Murray, there's only one way to settle this, fight!

Alright, who ordered the chainmail jersey?

I must try putting terracotta styling gel in my hair.

We're using this as a stunt double whenever Cliff Richard starts to sing

A fine lob indeed

Terracotta worrier

Not smiling. Harumpf.

They haven't got my t-shirt right, have they?

Just like the original terracotta warriors, Andy was buried by a Chinese in the first round.

So when do I get the Rolex?

Like the tennis racket, the statue looked highly-strung

What are YOU lookin' at ?

If that's meant to be Venus, it's not very good, is it?

The too-good-to-hurry statue

And they've captured my personality too.

OK , I'll beware of this Medusa woman you mention.

When asked if he wanted to play on clay, this wasn't quite what Andy had in mind

It was the best chocolate fountain he'd ever seen

Feat of clay

Anyone for tennis?

Andy was pleased the sculptor had managed to cover up his runny nose

Ter-racqueter statue

So why do I feel hobbit sized?

So THAT's the end you hold!

"It's all just a racket," mused Andy.

Judging by the head, it's clear the sculptor had absolutely no idea what Andy looked like

The strangest mixed doubles i have ever witnessed.

What?! No balls?

Murray Mints - now in new chocolate flavour!

Do you want to warm up first?

It's awful, thought Andy, what a load of Rolex

Stiff, slow to move, miserable-looking - yes, the statue's quite realistic, isn't it?

Rather stone faced don't you think.
Yes we did try to get true image of you but the statue does look more pleasant

Yeah, a funerary figure seems quite appropriate for Andy

"If he doesn't stop staring at me soon, I'm going to hit him with this racket!"

Rule #1 never play on clay in the rain

"Yeah," said Andy, "It's great! Who is it?"

The artist had done a fantastic job, but hadn't quite managed to capture that look of 'completely gormless' which the real Andy Murray showed when he saw the statue for the first time.

Terror Scottish Army

Well this one looks like it has won a battle or two

Andy was a bit worried about his Nike shirt for next season

China finally finds use for old Abe Lincoln moulds

China can feature the arts that other beers don't care about

I hope its bloomin' mother is equally animated

There again, in Greyfriars, Scotland, they even build statues of dogs ...

Andy Murray looking like a champion... alongside a tennis player of the same name.

Andy thought he had entered a Bee Gees singing competition so he Shang Hai

Murray has a McEnroe moment as he yells "You cannot be serious!"

And after Michael Sheen had played Tony Blair and Brian Clough ...

Owing to an understandable mix-up, Andy was put in the Emperor's tomb and the statue went on to win Wimbledon

"Dour, cold and rough-hewn" said the critics. And the statue wasn't much better.

At last, thought Andy, someone my mum can nag about doing extra practice who isn't going to be get fed up.

After Andy's win, Rapha changes tactics...

Andy was very pleased with it, and decided to order two to put at the entrance to his mansion

Shanghai Chinese whispers:
I said I've always wanted to win on a clay pitch, not I always wanted a twin in clay kitsch

And scribbled underneath his tunic was the phrase 'How to serve, man.'

At last, thought Andy, someone my mum can nag about doing extra practice who isn't going to get fed up.

*correction*

He was wearing a kilt but hawkeye said his ball was definitely in

I think I'll call him Oscar.

Madame Tussaud's announces a shock merger with Cadbury's

Andy was still coming to terms with his 'idol' status

"At last, a partner who's a bit more use than Jamie..."

No white horse then, eh?

Andy was disappointed to learn that when his agent said "Go to Shanghai, they idolise you there!" he had been speaking literally, not figuratively

"Ha! Who's the king of clay now, Rafa?"

No, it isn't a mould. The artist didn't believe I'd last to the end of the set

The artist chose to be kind with Andy's hair line.

So this is what it's like to be Shanghaied...

The whole Terracotta Army had turned out to watch Andy Murray play

"Jamie, does this new gluten-free diet contain iron supplements, by any chance?"

...and yet again, Murray faces stiff opposition....

#andymurray : when I said I'd twitter Ah-me from Shanghai this wasnt what I had in mind

The Murray Motto: To Protect and Serve

"Oh, I slay!"

"So why is Trevor Brooking holding a tennis racket?"

Is this what is meant by a back-handed compliment?

Wimbledon or Bust.

I thought the pigeons were supposed to do it on the statue, not my T-shirt!!

I'll tip the bloke dressed as a statue an extra tenner if he'll swing the racquet ... NOW

Andy wondered whether the statue of Venus also looked as if it had been made out of Mars bars

Ming? Disnae say

It's clear that Andy Murrays head is too big for his boots

Andy Murray wins first prize, a statue of of himself, by default, as no one else wanted to win it!

Well he has almost all the detail correct but he hasn't put the losers cheque in my hand

Visit Scotland's 'Scottish Bravehearts' campaign proved a curious amalgam.

Questions were starting to be asked about the presence of Andy's self-styled adviser

"No, I didn't say I wanted a grand SLAB..."

Who Do You Think You Are? Best episode ever.

(Apologies to Woody Allen) In the look-a like- competition The Mime artist Dressed as a terracotta statue of Andy Murray Won first Prize, Andy Murray dressed as himself came second. Murray was Not happy and a fight ensued.

Poor Andy thought he was joining the Territorial Army

The worst part of making the mould was when they cut me out of it, The raquet survived but I lost my balls.

Still better at Playstation...

Better than a "Roman God鈥� surely...

This explains why Andy plays better in Scotland and other cold climates - in the sun, he melts