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What can you use when caught short in the Imperial War Museum?

What makes a suitable alternative for a naked tortoise?

Why is there no longer a 10% kickback on headgear?

What's that sign outside the circumcision clinic?

What did Jordan used to make her bras out of?

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

What is Gen Stanley McChrystal's new job responsibility?

What's old hat these days?

'Ello, 'ello, goodbye?

10 Across : The Elms? (14,7)

What do old coppers wear since decimalisation?

What do they use as speed bumps in Aldershot?

What are the secret weapons of the Public Indecency Squad?

What lead to the introduction of woks in post war Chinese cooking?

What will German fans be using on Sunday to silence the vuvuzelas?

What's the result of disbanding the quango on military headgear?

Helmet by Moonlight?

What does Apple recommend to overcome problems with their new iPhone?

Crashed helmet?

What is the most common hairstyle on British passport photos?

Heaume and away?

What can you use to cover unsightly molehills?

What's the name of the Retirement ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ for Old Soldiers?

Armour plaything?

Basinet curtains?

Armour impropre?

What gives as much protection as a gouged out Edam?

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

What rhymes with reconditioned pelmets?

Tossed salade?

What have they got all ready for David Cameron when he visits Afghanistan?

Who's on just before Rolf Harris at Glastonbury?

What was Margaret Thatcher most upset about after the NCB's pit closures?

After a few nights in Afghanistan, what were the Beckhams originally going to call Romeo?

What are more useless than vuvuzelas after the World Cup?

What are fitted to save money on disc brakes to all British tanks in Afghanistan?

What's the number one best seller at crazylarrysdecommissionedhelmets.com?

What do men get when they forget to take their Viagra?

What make less than ideal vessels for slopping out in prisons?

What is BP's latest tool for picking up tarballs from the Florida beaches?

What probably won't get you on the front page of the papers on Ladies Day at Ascot?

A new name for circumcision

What reference to staff gets a General in the most hot water?

Because only papier-maché is good enough for our boys in Afghanistan?

What might the owl and the pussycat use to put to sea in a pinch?

A Hell's Angels memorial?

Following the world economic meltdown, what will become the planet's monetary unit?

Vivienne Westwood's new millinery line for Ascot?

What comes free with every Little Person On Board sticker (grrr) at Halfords this weekend?

You're putting your codpiece collection up for sale on eBay?

In order to discourage future Wimbledon marathons what will now be awarded as prizes?

World Cup athletic supporters in Italy?

What just war out?

What do you call German football supporters after England maul them on Sunday, well the male ones anyway.

Is there any way to combat the vuvuzella?

What is the new unit of currency in Afghanistan?

What does the Ministry of Defence use as Frisbess?

What was Kubrick's planned sequel to 'Full Metal Jacket'?

Messrs. Kohl, Lang and Newton wonder what they are going to do now.

What’s a good thing to take to the hairdressers if you can’t find a pudding bowl?

What's the British Army's current equivalent of the demob suit?

What would come in handy at an embarrassing moment on a nudist beach

Male Porn Stars face lower retirement age.

What the Italian Football team are being given after their embarrising exit to the World Cup.

you've had your tortoises 20 years and finally take them to the vets to be told they are...............

What's left in the space shuttle auction?

When Jordan asked for a new bra what did they give her.

If your in a rush to knock up a Chinese meal and the Woks not been washed what do you use

What Lance Armstrong managed to keep after the break-up?

What does the Hunchback of Notre Dame use to Iron his shirts on.

What the fox hunting lobby keeps at the ready?

what does a vietnam veteran with post-traumatic stress disorder eat his cereal out of?

Lost and found at Mount Everest?

GI Joe becomes a pacifist and runs off with Ken?

The most frustrating part of being a tortoise is

What do you need to carry two stone of potatoes

What can be piled up and used to escape through a high window if kidnapped by sky divers?

How was I able to make the brilliant Robocop costume I wore to the office barbecue?

War! Huh? What is it good for?

What do Wagnerian heroines wear as bustenhalters?

What followed the famous sperm scene in the Woody Allen film?

As a lad, what did Ringo Starr used to practise on?

A cheap alternative to hubcaps.

What is it pointless to ask the Official Helmet Commissioning Official for?

What follows a bad hair day in the Metrosexual Army?

what topic can tremorman not make humourous joke about

#85 Sorry-Officer.

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Which item of the police uniform can also be used as flower pots?

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

David Beckham's new hair do revealed.

What is the most popular exhibit in the Museum of Gender Realignment ?

What did Goosey Loosey suggest Chicken Little should invest in?

Beware of Greeks wearing shifts?

What were front-row spectators advised to wear during the Isner-Mahut match?

what is the new medical term for getting "it" stuck in your zipper?

FIFA World Cup Officials are not really all bald headed - they are just wearing - - - - -