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His master's vice

Toot suite

Calls to ban vuvuzelas resulted in the unfortunate suspension of an innocent Argentinian player

Crash tests were but a distant comfort

Vuvuzelas? OK, what's Wayne Rooney injured now?

Und next ve vill put ze dummy in an orange mini dress

Cape Horn Town

FIFA moves to ban ticket toots

Tooting Abroad-way

Unfortunately, Wayne Rooney damaged his metatarsals again after trying to play "The Flight of the Bumble Bee" on a vuvuzela

Sadly for everyone in the stadium, vuvuzela was not a euphemism

You're horning in on my experiment lamented the lab technician

And when you're deaf, the horn can be converetd into a deaf aid

The best part is I get to blow raspberries at my lab assistant all day long

Room with a vu

Horn of Plenty - of noise

The brass is always keener on the other side

You were meant to bring the wine - I said to bring a Methuselah!

Just taking a few notes

Reasearch continues into how men can be conditioned for married life.

Personally, we crash test dummies preferred it when were being driven into brick walls at 60 mph

I'll name that tune in one!

When we win the World Cup, we are planning to deploy a few thousand of these with the flags

Finally, everybody in the science laboratory knew why Herr Fischer had been fired from his job in the library

I was blown away by the results.
What?
I SAID I WAS BLOWN AWAY BY THE RESULTS!
What?
Oh, never mind

Everyone was waiting for the silence of the labs

Inspired by the World Cup, the battle between whalers and environmentalists gets a new weapon.

After this, we are all going out for Bavaria beer. Care to join us?

You were only supposed to blow me ruddy shoes off!

No, I still don't see the attraction of jazz.

There is some evidence that the yellow horns paired with blondes in orange mini dresses produce deeper stirrings, I mean tones...

Unfortunately, Herr Schmidt had been given a yard of ale to taste ...

Herr Schmidt enjoyed his yard of ale - the dummy had already become legless

In South Africa, no one can hear you scream.

We never squawk anymore

our research has concluded that men with wigs should not stand near a vuvuzela at a foootball match.

A couple more and we will have an oompah band to die for...

FIFA introduces ban on nude Daleks

Please put me back in a car with no seat belt and drive it into a wall, its got to be better than this.

Crash Test Hummmmmmmmmmmy

It was the last straw for Beaker as he ran screaming from the room

Germany is hoping to turn the whole stadium into one vast Mexican Horn Concerto

Well yes, we also have a research programme to find a cure for cancer, but this is more fun ...

Mind blowing!

Once health and safety had it the monkey sanctuary, this dummy wished he hadnt been given the job of see no evil.

We've discovered how to detect an elephant in the room that no one can see. Unfortunately, we've also discovered how to make it want to mate with us.

Professor Wolf finds out what it's like when someone does what they say they'll do with your vuvuzela

AMENDMENT - SPELLING - Once health and safety had hit the monkey sanctuary, this dummy wished he hadnt been given the job of see no evil.

Q: How many vuvuzelas does it take to annoy an England World Cup fan?
A: Only one, the rest are too busy being annoyed by Rob Green.

John Cage tries to compensate for his original 4'33"

Well James, just aim it like this and it'll send a poisoned dart 100 meters.
Q, once again you've surpassed yourself.

A lepatata ever changes its sports

I SAID IT'S A SCIENCE LAB, NOT A SILENCE LAB!

We've proved that annoying the enemy is always an option

Locusts are a doddle

The truly satanic verses are hear

Insignificant people with squeaky little voices finally find a way of attracting peoples' attention

BUY A BIG ISSUE, SIR?

Horton will definitely hear this Who

Pedestrians find a way to get their own back on drivers with radios blaring

When boffins mate

And you thought the Ricola adverts were bad...

Mais, mes amis, mes little grey cells 'ave told me 'ow one American supporter managed to fire a lethargy pill ... straight into Robert Green's mouth!

England supporters find a way of fitting a CD-player into their vuvuzelas so they can play The Dambusters March all through the match

Nothing like being horny all day

Und next we test the optimal length for annoying the English...

It's either this, or we all sing unaccompanied, or "A capello" as we call it

Horn of plenty - of goals

The number of decibles produced by a vuvuzela? No, we're testing toupee glue.

Apple scientists try to produce an iVuvuzela in time for the World Cup Final

My test shows this is 147.1 times more anoying than missing the England goal on ITV HD

Gordon the dummy had never liked "In The Mood" and this rendition was no exception...

Scientists believe football supporters have their ears in their legs. "When we played a loud vuvuzela close to them, they moved away but, when we removed their legs first ..."

For once, "Science bit - pay attention" was having no effect.

They are annoying, loud and nobody likes them.

Coming soon to ITV1 - I'm a Vuvuzela-playing Celebrity!

The country that brought you BMW and Braun invents a way to kill flies accurately and painfully

The race begins for the first inventor of the vuvuzela mute...

Even the dummy hates it.

No wonder foxes hate them

"Sometimes I feel like I'm quacking up," thought Prof Honeydew.

Provost has ways of making you talk, dummy.

Out of concern for the environment, BP unveils new strategy to scare the birds away before they get covered in oil.

German scientists try to develop a vuvuzela that is Hans-free

But the worst part was when the staff were made to shout "Tally-ho!"

Actually we are testing if women like fish or bicycles better in a separate experiment.

James Dyson invents a vacuum-cleaner specifically for people with dirty dummies

The robot rebellion was traced back to systemic abuse in the name of science...

Vuvuzela research into hair restoration currently shows no positive results.

Proof that anyone would give their right arm to stop hearing the Vuvuzelas...

"Good. Now let's see if it's more annoying if the Vuvuzela is blue."

Cover picture of new self-help book "Headaches for Dummies"

New radio show 'Sound The Horn' undergoes pre-pilot audience response testing.

Germany puts another unemployed jazz trumpeter to good use

The inventor tried many possibilities before he finally came up with his life’s achievement, the eight track car stereo..

Actually, I’m more of a Richard Strauss fan myself..

Testing new theories for imax 4D, when avatars talk right in your ear

EXPOSED: The hideous experiments on poor, defenseless dummies carried out in German labs.

Scientists deafen those without eyes to develop a super sense of taste

Oh No!!! Not the bloody vuvuzela!

"Ah... I must be home" says South African blind man