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Cuts in the MI6 Research Department meant that Bond's latest vehicle wasn't quite up to the job.

Tom Cruise and the word "bore" seem inseparable

"And so Mr Bond, once again, rather than kill you while I have the chance, instead I choose to watch you float away on a Lilo in these shark infested waters."

"I bought the new P&O cross-channel ticket, third class."

Jim lived in a bit of a back-water.

007 Bore

Jack Nicholson was one of the first to buy the new La-Z-Surfer

"James, James, the tap has broken in the ladies..."

"I know Miss MoneyPenney, I know!"

Despite trying to put on a happy face, Robbie Williams was a little disappointed at the budget for his new music video

He was on the witness protection scheme but he clearly didn't understand "lie low".

No, I want you to dry, Mr. Bond

I expect you to dive, Mr Bond

The Onassis shipping dynasty adapt cheerfully to the recession.

It wasn't the Severn Bore - it just seemed like it after someone fired a bullet into the lilo

Shark Fishing Tips #12: Good bait is essential, and has the added benefit of ridding the world one more champagne quaffing ponce.

Does he get Severn's Pay once the photo shoot is over?

After the mutiny at the Crimson Permanent Assurance, the bankers were set afloat

Bond misinterprets M's command to 'lie low' for a while.

The marine couch-potato is rarely seen.

New flood defences on the River Severn fail catastrophically

Glyndebourne introduce a life boat drill after consulting the Met Office and the Health and Safety Executive.

The loss adjuster's a cheerful soul isn't he?

DFS "launch" their new sale.

The new line of economy cruises were proving popular.

He had been adrift for days, neary recued twice by a passing cargo shipa. He would avoid telling them he was a banker in future.

At the close of his latest concept performance 'Dante's Inferno On Ice', Rick Wakeman gives a triumphant wave to the crowd.

EasyJet introduce their new, green method of travel: EasyFerry

He had been adrift for days, nearly rescued twice by passing cargo ships. He would avoid telling them he was a banker in future.
(sticky keyboard)

It was all going so well until he spotted Somali pirates on the starboard bow.

Surf bored

The effect of inflation in the world of fat cat bankers!

Q: Why don't sharks attack barristers?
A: Professional courtesy.

James regretted booking with cut-price EasyCruise

The electron microscope made the shocking revelation of what really was in the diner's soup.

Liam was quickly relieved of his duties as best man and turned out to sea when he showed up at the wedding wearing Converse trainers.

Do you have any Grey Poupon?

EasyCruise? Tom certainly was.

Nicholas Cage was not the perfect choice for the re-make of 'Blow Up'.

Tom was hoping to catch some flying-fish

Dave demonstrates the double meaning of 'wave enthusiast.'

The Bullingdon's swimming regatta was the highlight of the summer.

Panic sets in through the England camp as Wayne Bridge books John Terry's transport to South Africa.

Everyone on the red carpet agreed Quentin Tarantino had gone too far trying to make an entrance on Oscar Night

The public are confused by the advice of the coastguard to wear a 'wet suit' when riding the bore.

James Bond returns in "A Quantum of Sole"

The last surviving member of The Drifters waves to the boardwalk

Ryanair's diversification into transatlantic travel was laced with the usual standard of luxury.

James Bond's next film will be a remake of "Goldfisher"

So whatever happened to Captain Pinkerton?

After Tom Cruise had inflated his Lilo, he named it "Ego"

From Russia with Lilo

Excuse me, but which way is Gloucester Casino?

Yes, 'Hang Ten' and all that balderdash

Tom had hoped his underarm deodorant would have dried by now ...

If this is what water-boarding is, long may it continue!

I say, could somebody please help me get this coat hanger out?

Not what I imagined when you said I was in the Bonus Pool, Sir

And here we see the author of "Mein Kampf" relaxing on holiday

They were all expecting a big bore, little did they know it was going to be Dereck the accountant.

Call me Ishmael

Seaworld was having some difficulty in employing the right staff these days

Lifeguards at Eton

Waiter! A gin and tonic if you please.

As ever, Gordon Brown was looking for the floating voter

Gordon Brown should never have canvassed the public about what he should do next

Some Handel's Water Music, if you please

Are you sinking what I'm sinking?

A fan protests at the possible demise of the caption competition as part of the ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ cutbacks

Branson's Space landing still needed a bit of work.

Once again, Bond had ignored Q's plea not to touch the red button

The water baliff later fined him and added three points to his fishing licence for exercising his goldfish at the same time.

The ending of the remake of "Titanic" had to be rewritten at the request of the star, Tom Cruise

So to study the tides, we decided on something a bit bigger than a rubber duckie.

"In the unlikely event of an emergency, First Class seats detach and can be used as life rafts. Do not inflate your seat until you are outside the aircraft"

Robinson Cruise-o

Sir Steve Redgrave was waiting for that final burst before the finish!

Look, I may be wearing a dinner jacket, but at least I'm not daft enough to be standing in the River Severn with an expensive camera

Whilst debating whether he was flotsam or jetsam he was swept over the weir and became lost at sea.

The Michelin Man wins his bronze Duke Of Edinburgh award for lifesaving.

Tom's sat nav may have been playing up, but the River Wye was very relaxing

Fortunately, Robert was able to re-inflate his seat quite easily thanks to the egg and beans he had had for breakfast

The Junior Ganymede's annual picnic

James was enjoying himself relaxing on the River Severn, when somebody yelled out "Wave," so he did

"When i heard all my assets were going to be liquidated, i dont think this is what i had in mind."

Hans was Germany's most unpopular U-boat commander

"Smile and wave boys, Smile and wave"

Now just a have and a have yacht no longer

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Bond, when sitting on that inflatable chair, starting thinking. When are those people going to help me instead of taking pictures.

Hey, John, I guess global warming has taking a turn for the worst.

The butcher and baker get their own boat

"WAVE! WAVE!...no behind you, a wave"

After a quick meeting with M, Bond went to see B&Q.

The Winter Olympics: 2050

Tom Cruise waits patiently for someone to give him a high five

Goldman Sachs has reportedly made a profit of over $3 billion by investing in the tide-based derivatives. Most of this will be distributed as bonuses to top executives. In other business news, the government of Greece is reported to have lost approximately $3 billion by betting that the tide would never come in.

Severn Up!

"So long and thanks for all the fish!"

(Courtesy of Douglas Adams, and Paul!!)

Carlsberg don't do wave runners, but if they did...

That's the last time I go on a cruise with Sandra Bullock