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So what else doesn't go towards my five a day?

What does a five year old consider to be a balanced diet?

And next week on Freaky Eaters guess what Mr Jones only consumes?

What wouldn't scan in The Sound of Music's "My Favourite Things"?

What three things don't you want to find in bed?

What has recently applied to join the European Community?

What are the three main euphemisms used by nursing staff on the geriatric ward?

What are little boys also not made of?

What is the added inducement to attend the Church cheese-and-wine party?

What three ingredients are the research teams of Kraft and Cadbury trying to combine?

Why is Dawn French's "Diet My Way" so popular?

What do you find in a cheese-and-wine party in Valleta?

What was my wife's Christmas list ("but forget the cheese and biscuits")?

What did I also find when looking for the remote at the back of the sofa?

Paris Hilton's new coffee service?

What do Steven Moffat's new Doctor Who monsters resemble?

What are the air tight containers for, Mr Fawlty?

Crufts after show party?

What gives Lulu the longevity to keep on singing Shout even at the age of 61?

Wallace discusses world peace?

Buffet Freud

What plot line ended up being cut from the Wizard of Oz?

Who let the dogs pout?

What defines Haute Cuisine in Glasgow?

What you get when nodding to "You want Fry's with that?"

The Weather Underground was a doddle. The real menace to society was actually found to be what?

What did Gordon send Alistair as a peace offering?

What's worth more than Portsmouth FC?

For choc absorbers?

When the police were called to the retirement village after complaints of Glenn Miller tunes blaring, what did they take into custody?

What best describes the feedback from a Prius's brakes?

Strange breadfellows?

What do the latest rumours about Richard Gere involve?

What did Noddy bribe PC Plod with to let him off the speeding ticket?

As a protest to the take over of Cadburys by Kraft, what foods do you suggest I give up ?

"Hello, is that you, Mildred? Look, I've almost finished the shopping, but what's this CABAM at the bottom of your list?"

Focus of the marketing campaign for the Chelsea Flower Show this year?

But the Rolls was doing twice the speed limit, Sir?

Hot fashion terms for next year's LFW?

What started the riot after running out of dijon mustard?

What's on the menu at the Dibley Church Buffet?

Quick dinner party menu from Delia Smith's 'Can't Be Arsed' TV series.

What's on the menu at the Simon Cowell wedding reception?

What was tucked into the lining of Michael Foot's jacket?

The three most popular nicknames in the Hell's Angels.

What are the three most popular things for dogs to say after "sausages"?

Sponsors of 'Loose Women' in the ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ Counties.

And now we come to the reading of the will - being a banker, I'm afraid he took it with him, and all that's left are ...

Despite much consumer research, what new confectionery line didn't sell as well as predicted?

What did Lloyds squander its £6.3 billion loss on?

After Derby named a road after Lara Croft, what did the local parish council decide to rename the main road through Dibley after?

What are the only things still being made at Cadburys' British factories?

apart from these what other items has Gordon Brown thrown at his staff whilst not bullying them.

Given the current recession, what are now the new first, second, and third wedding anniversary gifts?

My wife sent me to the shops for milk, bread, tea, nappies, and washing-up liquid, but what I did come back with instead?

What does Wallace's shopping list consist of?

All that's needed to make a crazy golf course for your Barbie dolls.

What does Ashley cole consider to be the food of love?

Three elements in MasterChef's 'Identify the Ingredients' test?

As part of the Bullying allegations by Mr Brown what did Gordon apparently ban his staff from eating?

How do you bribe a WPC?

Why did Wayne Rooney think the Queen had awarded him the CBM?

You know an Oscar acceptance speech is coming to an end when the winner gets around to thanking what?

After mastering "sausages", what three new words will Esther Rantzen's dog attempt to pronounce?

What three items do survival experts agree should be carried at all times in case of emergency?

Here's my ingredients for Ready Steady Cook... see what you can make with these.

GCSE physics question - which will travel fastest when blown with a drinking straw?

What is the most unfortunate name in the world?

Munchies in Malta.

"Minnie Mouse denies pregnancy rumours!"

Having accidentally turned over two pages of her recipe book, from what ingredients did Nigella make supper?

After death and taxes, name three other certainties of life…

Michael Winner slams northern cuisine after a meal of..

Tesco apologises for its East European staff putting items on the shelves in alphabetical order correctly, but in Polish?

What three things photographed together on a packet warrant the words 'serving suggestion'.

What were Messrs Brown and Darling's weapons of choice? (Spending cuts, sadly)

What are a Glaswegian fish-and-chip shop's healthy deep-fried options?

What will attract a new VAT rate of only 5% (everything else 45%)?

What did John Terry give up for Lent?

What lesser-known parties were held rebelliously in Boston in the eighteenth century?

Fed up with all the bad publicity, what has Bob Geldof re-named his children ?

What and who really killed Roger Rabbit in the larger conspiracy?

Congratulations, you've just won our economy package holiday?

What do conspiracy theorists believe the supposed lunar samples to be composed of?

Life on Mars?

What did a raid of the lockers at the health food retreat turn up?

What would Amy Williams' skeleton bob have been made of in 2014, had she not won gold in Vancouver?

Note to self: refresh more frequently to avoid those embarrasing canine-vocabulary faux pas with pendragon, oh, and don't forget Tescos shopping.

You've never actually made sausage before have you?

The Hotel Inspector makes a grim discovery..

Stan thought the Butlin's menu need more work..

Blue Peter is hit by the recession?

In 1 Corrinthians 13 what was Jesus' reserve list?

A new addition to West Wallaby Street?

The last bid for Portsmouth F.C?

what else will turn children into raging psychpaths according to the government now that magazines and phones have been blamed?

Gourmet dining at the Chatsworth estate?

The Freegan cookbook was a huge hit with?

Apple finally announce what the new generation of i-phones will be made out of ...

What foodstuffs have scientists discovered to be most effective in combatting strokes and heart attacks?