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No silhouettes allowed

The recession wasn't the only thing hitting the Bike Shed industry hard...

New regulations mean John Wayne isn't allowed to smooch with Marge Simpson.

Caution. You are now leaving the heteropolis.

No Simpson's impersonations allowed? Doh!

That was shadow Rabbit. Now if I twist my hands like this...

It is forbidden to appear in a 1950s sitcom

Just say no...

No sharing of chewing gum.

Badly Drawn Boy's Mum and Dad not allowed access

No pouts allowed - this means Girls Aloud as well then!

Use of Superglue on lips is strictly prohited in this station

The Pope is accused of dumbing down in his latest encyclical on contraception

No plastic surgery allowed here

Pyramus and Thisbe were disappointed at Wall's overethusiasm.

Leslie Ash thought she should probably hurry past the 'lip implants free zone'.

Walls may have ears, but lips are right out.

WARNING: Kissing causes large lumps to appear all over your head. Wear a HAT!

...And in other news, parents have applauded the move to ban the physical expression of inter-muppet love on Sesame Street. Big Bird was not available for comment...

On this spot in 1953, Nora Batty and Hilda Ogden canoodled with their husbands.

Just you come back with that mistletoe - right now!

Of course we can snog - I'm not wearing a hat

Straw boaters may only be worn whilst punting.

No inflatable dolls allowed!

Wearing saucepans and rubber kitchen gloves on the head are now banned due to health reasons.

Checkmate !

Why ban kissing when those hats are so obviously designed for it?

No Snogging Zone

Oi, you! Whatever you're drawing on that wall under the sign, you can stop it right now!

Why ban kissing, when surely nobody wants to kiss some woman in rollers?

At least they're not trying to ban humps in the road

Blue Oyster Bar preferred parking

Don't worry, just come TO Wales - the Land of Snog!

New superhero, Blurry Lady gives the Invisible Man a sneaky goodbye kiss.

Don't worry, just come to Wales - the Land of Snog!

I don't know Cher,
I'm not allowed to find out anymore !

Heavy and Petting were finally happy to leave the Bombing, Diving and Unaccompanied Children behind.

A woman rushes out of the "no kissing" zone having spent hours desperate for a snog

Oh look, we must be entering Jane Austen country

On the upside, flashing your mate goodbye was allowed

Banksy gets authoritarian

"I'm getting one of those for the bedroom."

Guillotine free zone

Banksy, all set to unleash his latest piece highlighting the micro-management of the individual by Government, was gutted to find someone had got there first.

The lonely, single station manager tried his best to defend the kissing ban, but it was clear he had an ulterior loco-motive...

You'll never forget your first 'staring into each others eyes whilst almost making lip contact'

Shrek's buggered then !

Should've gone to Peck-savers !

But you've got the "no kissing" sign all wrong - it's a 'p' not a 'k'

Cherie Blur

And that is the sign I was conceived under

Shirley was a member of an out-of-focus group

No Rorschach inkblot tests allowed

The Government had found a cheaper alternative to handing out contraceptives in schools

Fashion Police Advisory Committee: Hats and afros do not mix

London Underground's new sign indicates trains terminate here - you can't go all the way

The 'Reference to Casablanca Prohibited' sign was altered for the vision-impaired.

That's the Phantom Raspberry Blower outlawed, then.

The sign is clearly an indication of a totalitarian government - which is probably why the girl is rushin'

The W.I. ensure no woman should be forced to respond to "How YOU doin'?"

There will be long delays due to the wrong type of kissing on the platform

No Mick Jagger impressions

Virgin Trains unveils its new logo...

No, you fool, it's Oliver Postgate we're banning - that sign should indicate "No Noggin"

He wanted a brief encounter;
She wanted to encounter his briefs;
Both were in for a big disappointment...

no foreplay allowed !

Kissing goodbye banned when your train hasn't been cancelled.

Bank Quay was just a poor imitation when it came to graffiti artists.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

It's the latest Government Health Warning - don't kiss women with bubonic plague

Signmaker's personal life in question ever since he was asked to portray 'passionate, lingering kissing'

Caroline wanted to make a hasty exit before the strange man in the hat returned with his plans to do unspeakable things.

Namby pamby southern displays of affection prohibited. Offenders will be thrown to the whippets.

As a tribute to "Last of the Summer Wine," the local council unveils its "Welcome to Holmfirth" sign

No Picking Up Zone

Please dispose of your chewing gum responsibly.

Warrington unveils its tribute to three great pop sensations - Badly Drawn Boy, Madonna and Blur

'Just remember this, a kiss is just a kiss - as trains go by'

Warrington? It looks more like Peck'em.

Sherlock Holmes didn't much approve of Dr.Watsons new look either, but did find the ban to be a step too far.

Warrington clearly defines its pecking order

Pecking order!

Warning, no first aiders on platform. Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation unavailable.

The residents of Liphook were proud to be at the forefront of the Government's visual placenames initiative.

Warrington Quay, this is Warrington Quay
Alight here for the Petting zoo...

... What ?!? When ?!? Oh OK,

Warrington Quay this is Warrington Quay
Alight here for the Zoo !

Station pays lip service to public freedom

Actually, we got the signs as a job lot when they closed down the local swimming-pool

Both agreed the garlic bread had been a bad idea !

Spaghetti-sharing is absolutely forbidden.

No over-enthusiastic toffee chewing allowed

"the kissing I don't really have a problem with, but you see, its a gateway thing. One kiss today and soon they'll have THREE children, which is just not on"

Ban x x x, see? (Banksy)

Sex Education Advice had come a long way since the early days.

Brief Encounter impersonations are strictly prohibited.

Under no circumstances must you marry a woman who does her hair with a pie crust crimper.

Passengers are forbidden to travel without their bodies

As the man lay fighting for life on the platform, the paramedic wished he'd paid more attention to the legal module of his training.

Heads left unattended will be removed

Stop! Remove your trilby before getting close to women with freshly permed hair.

With the finale of her seductive rendezvous with Superman ruined, an outraged Wonder Woman was caught fleeing the seen.