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Not THE Barack O'Banana?

And moments later we had the banana splits and the apple turnover..

They were certainly the most ap-pealing

Oh no,don't look now,but here comes orange and cherry.....they're such show-offs.

Not only are they great skaters, but they're part of your five-a-day too

Cracks begin to appear in the government's new 5-a-day campaign.

Steve Jobs' illness leads to impaired judgement, and Apple's new "iBanana" is a flop with consumers.

The frozen fruit section somehow looked a little different.

Nothing can really beat number 2's comment... That's ace!

"Please be careful, I bruise easily!"

One slip and you're a smoothie

'No! No! No! You peel off to the right!'

Look, I'm sure I will enjoy my fruit muesli, just as soon as the milk defrosts

Honestly, can you stop talking about going for a smoothie afetrwards?

Honestly, can you stop talking about going for a smoothie afterwards?

(spelling)

"I'm honoured, dear bananaman, but I'm afraid I only tango"

Slippin' with a Pippin

Hey Mr Tallyman...

If he says that spin was 'peachy' just one more time..

But they knew their love was against all the laws of nature

The duo won, by the skin of their teeth, and almost pipped at the post

Watch out for that banana. If he slips, everybody slips.

If it's not too personal question, are you a Granny Smith?

Free from the scrutiny of the Presidency, George Bush could finally relax, but, frankly, nobody saw this one coming.

"Sorry about that mate, but the irony of a banana skin slipping on me was too much to pass up"

Afterwards, the apple did an impromptu streak. Core!

If it's not too personal a question, are you a Granny?

(corrected)

Fans are dubious over the new casting for Skins

The Chief Justice found the re-take of the oath of office,with some subtle alterations,more to his liking.

I find you very appealing.

As it was so cold, the banana had only been able to find a small Cox's

Theirs was a crisp and fresh routine, but they would soon be whipped by the yoghurt

Dancing On Ice moves to ITV2

lets try a pearouette.

The apple came second, being pipped at the post

"So, my little Chiquita", whispered the apple, "are you from Ecuador or Costa Rica?"

keep your ice peeled

You give me the pip!

"You dancing? 'Cos I'm a-skin"

Our costumes? They're from the Carmen Miranda collection.

The banana's suggestion for a cantilever was misunderstood, as the melon suddenly joined in

Wow, let's try a cherry-flip

Hey - if an African-American can become President, who says an apple and a banana can't skate in the Pairs?

Peeling in this weather was out of bounds

Figure-skating? I thought you said the fig are skating.

Not impressed with their performance the judges simply ate these two contestants.

The years had not been kind to the Fruit of the Loom guys

Blades, skins and ice. Its just a night out in Hackney.

Any second now, we're going to get a fruit cocktail

My darling, although we dance with a truly fruitful passion we can never win, you see we are in the Pears Figure Skating division...

The Banana winced as the apple tripped and crushed his plums !

Blades of Glory II - Who's the Top Banana?

The apple admired the banana's skating costume, as it showed off her nice pear !

Don't let me fall,banana,I bruise very easily.

Are you pleased to see me or is that a ... oh, never mind.

Hello and welcome to the Childeren's TV Ice Skating Championships 2009, you join me now as Wizbit and Zip-pea take to the ice in this the first round of what I'm sure will be a very interesting and exciting contest. Let's all sit back now and wonder just what the hell is going on.

An interesting metaphor for the current economic climate !

Shackleton's descendants were shocked at the extent of global warming in Antarctica

But I WANTED to be a kiwi!

"No, I can't tell who you are..." said the apple "...but from the shape, I'm guessing John Curry"

Scientists studying the antarctic showed that the temperatures were indeed rising, but they questioned whether they should publish the other phenomenon they found there.

Talent Spot entrants fruit to the final

Now this is what Masterchef is all about

EU regulations only allowed two out of the basket at a time

What am I doing later? Now steady on....you're being a little fresh.

And next up Dancing with the Pears

New diversity rules meant the pears competition would be even tougher

OK, you be Torville, I'll be Dean and together we will dance the Solero

Geest appearance at the Gala

"Third time lucky, Mr President. and no more slip-ups."

The UK's quest for a Eurovision winner was not proving fruitful

The apple was disappointed, as she had been expecting to dance wth the first President of Zimbabwe

EU replaces rules about fruit sizes with even more bizarre requirements.

Chris was a little disappointed when it became clear what Jayne had meant by "getting fruity with him".

...........and now the scores from the judges........"fife, fife, and fife".

Did you know there are three 'F's in Fyffes.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

The Dancing on Ice judge decided that in future he'd stick to plain water in his glass.

For the finale, they were joined by David Dickinson

The pick of the contestants

Torville & Dean's comeback will feature Ravell's 'Bowl of Fruit'.

Brand: I thought you said your great comeback was gonna be in the 'Big Apple' not as an apple..

Ross: Oh don't be such a 'nana!

Clearly attempts to get overweight children to take up ice skating weren't working...

As a tribute to David Vine, it's "Ski Sundae"

Hey - if an African-American can become President, who says we have to be pears?


(variation on my previous entry)

A combination of very sharp blades and an unfortunate slip by banana led to apple going to pieces on the ice.

Doreen we can't keep meeting like this, my wife is starting to suspect.

The judge's comment that he loved Fruit Loops had been misinterpreted by the contestants.

You're a bad apple... go to time-out.

And this dance is called... "The Smoothy"

Nobody move, I've dropped my contact lens.

Uch! What's this floating on my Guinness?

I saw Tomato back there......I'm sorry but she doesn't belong here!

The government puts the healthy eating campaign on ice...

Genetically modified fruit presented a different kind of problem for the Olympic Committee.

"Even at my age, I can still show the youngsters a thing or two", said Granny Smith

If you ask me one more time if I want to make a fruit salad with you, you're skating on thin ice...

At long last, Jane Torvill and Christopher Dean get fruity with each other.

As their skating was so bad, Roger and Sharon had been told that it would be a fruitless attempt to audition for the new TV reality show "I'm not a celebrity but get me dancing strictly at the ice-rink". They came up with a new (f)routine in a last ditch attempt...

Now concentrate!