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Archives for August 12, 2007 - August 18, 2007

10 things we didn't know last week

17:31 UK time, Friday, 17 August 2007

10piglets203.jpgSnippets from the week's news, sliced, diced and processed for your convenience.

1. Uncollected council tax totals £760m.

2. Some otters don't like swimming.

3. The Rubik’s Cube can be done in 26 moves.

4. Crows can use tools.

5. CDs were nearly called mini-racks.

6. CDs have 74 minutes' audio capacity, originally to accommodate Beethoven's 9th Symphony – before that they were just an hour.

7. Attractive people are, on average, less selfish than moderately attractive people.

8. The name Hells Angels was coined by a squadron of World War I fighter pilots.

9. Seven double espressos can land you in hospital, with caffeine intoxication.

10. Left-handed people are called sinistral.

Sources: 2: The Times (Thursday); 7: Independent on Sunday (Sunday); 8: The Guardian (Tuesday);
Seen 10 things? . Thanks to Mark and Angela Whiley for this week's picture of 10 piglets).

Your letters

16:11 UK time, Friday, 17 August 2007

Why are all the pictures in the in black and white? Are the ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ technology reporters so young now they think that colour wasn't invented until after the CD?
Jonathan, Bury St Edmunds, UK

katie.jpgPlease pass the following instructions on to the relevant department:
1. Open Photoshop
2. Load image "katiehopkins.jpg" (or whatever the Magazine front page image is called)
3. Go to image>image size
4. Select width 10%, height 10%
5. Go to file>save
6. Then upload and replace the current image.
I won't sleep easy tonight.
Steven, Sunderland

Your says "there has been a flood of people entering the industry in the UK."
So the collective noun for a group of plumbers is 'a flood'? Fantastic!
Peter Douglas, Balfron, Scotland

While not wishing to trivialize the disappointment this bride-to-be faces, can anyone out there let me know, as a bloke, what a entails?
Graeme, Dundee

ducklings.jpgBasil Long asks why two ducklings in a cooking pot should be thought of as showing "upbeat optimism". That's surely just a typo. They are showing 'upbeak optimism'. It's the quacker equivalent of a stiff upper lip.
Christian Cook, Espom, UK

Paper Monitor says the Independent has photos of girls in vest-tops hugging. Does the Daily Star have photos of girls in vest-hugging tops?
Sharon Shepperd, High Wycombe, UK

Dissapointment. Who else clicked on expecting to find something about the Roswell incident or assassination of JFK?
Martin, Manchester, UK.

Headline of the week: .
Kipper, Italy

Lunchtime Bonus Question

12:24 UK time, Friday, 17 August 2007

Comments

The fifth in our series of one-off, never-to-be-repeated revivals of the veteran Lunchtime Bonus Question, in which we give you an answer and you try to be funny by suggesting what the question might have been.

Could there be a more auspicious date in the calendar to honour on the LBQ comeback tour, than 17 August?

In the covert world of annerversaria it is widely acknowledged to be the anniversary's anniversary. The date that marks the births of Mr Last Theorem himself, Pierre de Fermat (1601); American frontiersman Davy Crockett (1786); recently deceased boho-in-chief George Melly (1926); the chanteuse behind that existential epiphany "oooh baby do you know what that's worth, ohh heaven is a place on earth" (Belinda Carlisle (1958))... to say nothing of the birth and trial commencement of US pilot Gary Powers (1929 and 1960 respectively).

But all these dates pale into insignificance alongside the anniversary of the birth of perhaps Hollywood's most misquoted artiste: Mae "why don't you come up sometime, and see me?" West. The LBQ knows a thing or two about being misquoted – for each of the past four days its facilitators have billed it as running "for one final time" – when the LBQ had always planned to spread its return over a full working week.

So, today's answer is "A BIT TOEY". Send your questions using the comments box below. The most wrong will be published. The least wrong will be quietly forgotten.

Paper Monitor

11:17 UK time, Friday, 17 August 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

The world has shifted on its axis. It's A-level results day for the papers and that means photos of attractive young things jumping for joy/hugging/shrieking in delight. Few have this art down to such a T as the Daily Telegraph.

But what's this? The blonde on the front page is Madeleine McCann's mother Kate. And the young things hugging each other appear to be boys - only it's hard to tell, seeing as they've been squeezed into a corner of the "see inside" strap.

So what about the celebration pics inside, surely at least one will conform to type? Jumping for joy shot? Check, but they are all boys. Beaming young royal? Check, but Beatrice is bumped to a wee snapshot at the bottom of page five. Twins? Check (although both sport glasses and zipped-up hoodies - for an example of twins that fit the traditional template, see the heavily made-up blondes in the Times).

And the other papers? The Independent has pretty brunettes (see what they did there?) in vest-tops hugging.

The Guardian snaps its smiling students at a grammar school - a bit posh, like, but it's in Bradford so pleasingly non-white. And the Daily Mirror, predictably, has Mel Slade - girlfriend of footballer Theo Walcott - and former Miss England Hammasa Kohistani.

Daily Mini-Quiz

09:30 UK time, Friday, 17 August 2007

In Thursday's Daily Mini-Quiz, we asked what new skill police in Hampshire are learning in an effort to bond with youngsters. The majority (52%) were correct in answering that it was skateboarding. Today's Daily Mini-Quiz is on the .

Your Letters

14:51 UK time, Thursday, 16 August 2007

Re: the po-faced assertion that the films are "about essence and truth"... you might alternatively say they're about fighting and car chases. Am I shallow?
Matthew, Wilmslow

"The franchise is ........ about essence and truth, not frippery and surface." And here's me thinking it was about making loads of wonga for Mr. Damon - how unfairly cynical of me. I'm glad he's set us all straight.
Kip, Norwich, UK

Would it be unsporting to ask why the featured in this article hasn't been banned? (For the record, I concur.)
Lucy Jones, Manchester

I'm not too sure how two in a cooking pot ready for the boil shows 'upbeat optimism.'
Basil Long, Newark, Notts

Regarding today's Daily Mini-Quiz. Is there any chance of a few indulging in the traditional activity of arresting?
PS I may or may not be a reader of the Daily Mail...
John Whapshott, Westbury, Wiltshire, England

I read the story "Rescuers are called to ". Needless to say I was sorely disappointed...
Martin Ruck, Oxford, UK

Regarding the story, 'Rescuers are called to a href="none">bat phone.' Wouldn't 'hanging on the telephone' have been a better title?
Laura G, Wrecsam, Wales

PM comparing and contrasting with pics of Vladimir Putin in the Telegraph? Would PM be comparing HIS attributes with Vlad's?
Dr Toes, Carharrack

Paper Monitor

11:25 UK time, Thursday, 16 August 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

It's not often that the Daily Telegraph opts for a topless pic on its front page. Such a rarity is this flashing of flesh that it cannot pass without comment.

But steady on, fans of the Lady Amelia Silver-Cutlery types favoured by the Telegraph's picture editor - no need to get aerated, it's Russian President Vladimir Putin stripped to the waist in his holiday snaps. Yes, again. All week one paper or another has run snaps of the ex-KGB agent in Action Man mode.

On being promised "more amazing pictures p19", Paper Monitor finds itself unable to resist the temptation to sneak a peak. Nothing like a chance to compare and contrast, eh?

But the paper also subtly seeks to reassure any of its readership discombobulated by reports that even a . "As a KGB spy stationed in East Germany in the late 1980s, [Putin] developed such a fondness for beer that he put on 25lbs. But by the time he became president in 2000, Mr Putin was a different man - trim, fit..." If he can do this in his 50s, captains of industry, so can you.

Meanwhile, blonde locks and a disarming gaze dominate the front page of the Daily Express. It's not Monday and it's not Diana, for the paper has a new poster girl - Madeleine McCann, missing now for 105 days.

madeleine2_203.jpgHere is a composite image of a week's worth of Daily Express front pages (bar Wednesday's, when she was bumped into promo rather than main story position by the bad weather and the £35m lottery winner).

Today the Express makes up for lost time with a double-page spread inside as well, recounting yet more of the claims made in the Portugese press (under that country's law, the authorities aren't able to disclose details of an investigation - a restriction that seems not to extend to its papers).

Lunchtime Bonus Question

10:24 UK time, Thursday, 16 August 2007

Comments

The fourth in our series of one-off, never-to-be-repeated revivals of the veteran Lunchtime Bonus Question, in which we give you an answer and you try to be funny by suggesting what the question might have been.

For one final time, the Lunchtime Bonus Question (in which we give an answer and you suggest a supposedly amusing wrong question) is milking its comeback tour again.

It would be all too easy to suggest that, on the 30th anniversary of the death of the original (something marked by our colleagues at Radio Two), that the LBQ's own comeback should commemorate Elvis's 1968 effort. But that would be too obvious.

Instead it seems fitting to mark the anniversary of the birth of Hugo Gernsback, dubbed the "father of science fiction", who by launching magazines such as Amazing Stories (great name, by the way) created a whole genre which has done so much to enrich the lives of modern man, woman, child and geek.

Intensive research (ie reading ) also credits Gernsback with creating "science fiction fandom" by taking the revolutionary step of publishing the addresses of people who wrote letters to his magazines. This meant they could contact each other, and whole networks of fans sprang up. Kind of reminds us here at Magazine Towers of the beauty of social networking. Like the on Facebook, now with nearly 500 members.

So today's answer is TWO NOTES FOR TWO DAYS. Send your questions using the comments box below. The most wrong will be published. The least wrong will be sniffed at.

Daily Mini-Quiz

09:48 UK time, Thursday, 16 August 2007

In Wednesday's Daily Mini-Quiz we asked how much of the world's toys are made in China. As 56% of you correctly identified, it's 80%. Today's DMQ is on the .

Your Letters

16:11 UK time, Wednesday, 15 August 2007

The map on shows something called Nottingham East Midlands Airport. East Midlands Airport did indeed add Nottingham to its name in 2003, which baffled and annoyed people in equal measure because the airport is in Leicestershire and the nearest city is Derby. Last December, it sensibly reverted to just East Midlands Airport.
MJ Simpson, Leicester, UK

Was that a Freudian slip by Paper Monitor today, as a result of Roy Keane's comments? "Wayne Rooney's financee Coleen McLoughlin..."
I'll get me coat.
Fi, Gloucestershire, UK

I'm a horrible person. I had my suspicions before, but I fear laughing at the headline has made it official.
Sophie, Ireland

And I'd like to nominate it as the least surprising headline of the week.
Sam, London

I'm no meteorologist, but a simple look at the grey skies out of my window and the sound of the rain lashing against it, is telling me that your weather forecast for Liverpool of dry with sunny spells is not correct.
Lottie D, Liverpool

has worried me. It says "Men in their late 30s and early 40s are the least satisfied members of society". Speaking as one who is past their early 40s, does that mean I'm no longer middle-aged? So am I now old-aged?
Alan Hyde, Hornchurch, Essex

Just to tell you how much I miss the caption competition. It wasn't really a competition, but a bit of wit and humour and fun. Please, please bring it back.
Cheryl Brook, Cambridge

I answered 80% for today's mini-quiz. Unfortunately I was wrong. The true answer is "0x1.a1c6b40337a09p-883ccording to the British Toy and Hobby Association".
Ralph, Cumbria

Is there a subliminal message in the daily mini-quiz today? Here are my back account details...
DJM, Scotland

Lunchtime Bonus Question

12:05 UK time, Wednesday, 15 August 2007

Comments

The third in our series of one-off never-to-be-repeated revivals of the old unfavourite, the Lunchtime Bonus Question, in which we give you an answer and you try to be funny by suggesting what the question might have been.

In homage to that oft-forgotten hero of the flower power movement, Wavy Gravy: "What we have in mind is a Lunchtime Bonus Question for 400,000 people"*.

Wavy, of course, was the bewhiskered MC – if such an official designation ever really existed amid all the chaos - of the original Woodstock festival, the start of which marks its anniversary today, 15 August. On that day, 38 years ago, things looked pretty damn fine for the flower children who had gathered on Max Yasgur's farm in upstate New York for what promised to be "three days of peace and music".

It's hard now, in an era when outdoor music festivals are about as ubiquitous as sponsored beer tents, to imagine just how "out there" Woodstock was when it was dreamed up. But the organisers – if such an official designation ever really existed – clearly thought there was little more to it than earmarking a field, inviting a bunch of bands to play and stashing a few hay bales here and there in the name of crowd control. The kids would find their own way. And they did, in numbers that hadn't been anticipated even in the wildest acid-induced visions of your average card-carrying counter-culturalist.

Then the rain came, the fence collapsed, the area was declared a disaster zone, the National Guard were called on to help and Joni Mitchell couldn't land her helicopter.

Wavy's actual vision was "breakfast in bed for 400,000 people". Still, Woodstock's legacy lives on and it's in tribute to it that today's LBQ is offered.

So if the answer is SPOTTERS' LEAGUE TABLE, what is the question? Clicking on the comments button below will reward you with some of the wrongest of wrong answers.


Paper Monitor

11:13 UK time, Wednesday, 15 August 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

When it comes to newspaper coverage, former footballer Roy Keane is a rarity - a class apart. He is one of only a few people in the world who can make the front and back pages of the papers, in the broadsheets and the tabloids. But he's not like the Beckhams, filling column inches on a daily basis with dull details of haircuts and holidays. No sirree, Keane only makes it into the papers occasionally, but when he does it makes journalists dizzy with excitment.

Be it accusing Manchester United supporters of munching on prawn sandwiches rather than understanding - or caring - about what's going on on the pitch, or having a monumental slanging match with management and storming out of the World Cup, Roy does not mince his words.

This time it's the WAGS who get the Keane treatment. He's launched a triade against "weak" footballers, saying the shopping habits of their wives dictate which club they go to. If this is the case then you can see why it's such a big issue for Keane - he's the manager of Sunderland. His rant gets him into every paper and gives them scope to tackle it in their own inimitable fashion.

The Guardian weighs the pros and cons of living in London, the North East, the North West and the Midlands, including what they have to offer culturally. The Daily Mail runs the story alongside several shots of Wayne Rooney's fiancee Coleen McLoughlin partying with friends on a £15m yacht in Ibiza.

And the Sun and Telegraph? For both it would appear the ideal opportunity to plaster a page with pretty women, scantily clothed in the first and fully-clothed but with luscious flowing locks in the latter. Nope, the Sun only uses a picture of an angry Keane, while the Telegraph has no picture at all.

Such reverence is rare in both papers and highlights just how highly Keane's outburst are regarded. Or maybe they're just scared they will be on the receiving end of one, one day.

Daily Mini-Quiz

09:55 UK time, Wednesday, 15 August 2007

In Tuesday's Daily Mini-Quiz, we asked what Tesco had banned an in-store children's entertainer from using? A respectable 56% of you were correct in picking balloons. Today's DMQ is on the index now.

Your Letters

15:49 UK time, Tuesday, 14 August 2007

Re : I wonder how many corporate email servers are now choking under the strain of all those extra Out of Office messages since this story? And how many people to have emailed this story on have received an Out of Office message in reply?
Smert, Dundee

In , we are told "The [Highways] agency said motorcyclists may be affected by turbulence caused by large vehicles, so should keep well back when overtaking high-sided vehicles." Wouldn't that make it quite difficult to overtake?
Adam, London, UK

I thought men were supposed to be unable to multi-task. In we hear of a policeman who is accused of having sex with a woman at Gatwick while on duty, which apparently took 20 minutes in an office. During this "meeting" he "kept in contact with his office by mobile and radio". What a busy day!
Boots, Epsom

Regarding " linked to heart disease" - does this count as something we already knew?
Dr Toes, Carharrack

Re : the story explicitly says that the waist-to-hip ratio is the crucial measurement, but you only supply us with waist circumferences to measure against. Please give us the figures which, by your own admission, are the most reliable.
Sarah, London

On regards to the video. Young people? Having a laugh? How dare they!
Neil, Stafford, UK

Paul Clare's comments (Monday's letters) regarding Only Fools & Horses, did the question specify that the most influential comedy had to influence subsequent comedies? As far as I can tell it just had to be influential and there's not many people in the UK that wouldn't recognise the Delboy quote.
Mike Henry, Reading, UK

Re - dare I ask why there is no mention of the fate of the horse?
Angharad Beurle-Williams, Brixton, London

Lunchtime Bonus Question

11:32 UK time, Tuesday, 14 August 2007

Devotees of the Lunchtime Bonus Question know all too well the crushing effect of a heartbreaking anti-climax.

Thus it was that after years of being in the wilderness, the LBQ (in which we give an answer and you send in wrong answers which purport to be in some way amusing) staged a one-day-only never-to-be-repeated comeback. It's a measure, therefore, of how little one can trust the ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ nowadays that today we bring you the second one-day-only never-to-be-repeated comeback. This time it's to commemorate the same sense of overwhelming let-down that must have been around on this day in 1948 when the great Australian cricketer Don Bradman played his last ever innings, the final Test at the Oval. He went into the match having a career average of 101. He needed just four runs to secure what no other cricketer had ever come near - a final career average of 100 or more. Expectation was high. Nerves were jangling. The Master strode to the wicket, the greatest player the game has ever seen, amid a standing ovation and cheers from the England team.

For Bradman, though, it was an anxious few moments. Needing a sole boundary, he did not score from his first ball. Time to settle those nerves. Then spinner Eric Hollies sent him the second delivery. Bradman read the spin. But instead of coming on to his bat as the Don expected, the ball went the other way and merely flicked the edge of the bat and went on to take the bail. Bradman was out for a second-ball duck. His average came down below 100 - 99.94 to be exact.

That's the kind of feeling the LBQ is celebrating today.

So anyway, if the answer is CINDERELLA IN THE MAKING, what is the question? Click on the comments button below to see some gloriously incorrect answers.

Paper Monitor

11:12 UK time, Tuesday, 14 August 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Guardian front page: "Is India the best place in the world to be born right now? A G2 special issue".

Wow, big question. A G2 special issue eh, so that'll be at least two dozen pages dedicated to the topic. It's a lot of reading, but big questions deserve big answers. So here goes…

G2 front page: "'This is the best place in the world to be born right now' The new India: a special issue".

Job done. On to the Times.

"Gap-year students told to forget aid projects". Now any story which coins the flexicon "voluntourism" is guaranteed a fair hearing from Paper Monitor, but frankly the small print (aka the story) doesn't stand up the headline, which refers to a report by Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO). And for that you only have to read down to the first quote from Judith Brodie, director of VSO UK. "'While there are many good gap-year providers…"

The Daily Express, meanwhile, makes it five days in a row for "MADELEINE" [its capitals, always] on the front. The 100th day of Madeleine McCann's disappearance, on Saturday, prompted a wave of reflection on the investigation into the missing toddler and led many to comment that despite the passing of time very little new hard information has emerged. Not that you'd know it from the Express' coverage though.

Finally, back to Elvis Watch. The Mirror has recreated some of Presley's favourite meals and found a nutritionist to cast an eye over the recipes, including this one for Fool's Gold Leaf, which combines butter, white bread, bacon, peanut butter and mixed fruit jam. The verdict: "High in saturated fat and very, very high in calories. Only a fool would eat this." Ah, but as the great man himself once said: fools rush in.

Daily Mini-Quiz

09:16 UK time, Tuesday, 14 August 2007

In Monday's Daily Mini-Quiz, we asked which comedy was runner-up, behind Monty Python, in a vote for Britain's most influential comedy. A whopping 73% of you were correct in picking Only Fools and Horses. Today's DMQ is on the Magazine index.

Your Letters

17:17 UK time, Monday, 13 August 2007

Did the respondents in the even read the question they had been asked? Only Fools and Horses may have been considered funny by many but "influential"? Exactly what subsequent comedy can it be said to have influenced?
Paul Clare, Nottingham

Re Paul Greggor's letter about the Big Ben picture. Clearly the clock is behind the photographer, not in front of him - you don't appear upside down when you look at your own reflection in a puddle!
RP, Loughborough, UK

Re Robert Pearson's letter about pronunciation of Zimbabwe, as a Zimbabwean, I would agree with pronouncing it as Zimbabwee and Mugabee. I would however like to say that we pronounce the country as Zim-barb-wee rather than Zim-bab-wee, and Moo-garb-ee rather than Moo-gab-ee.
Lucy, London

The ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ pronounce "Zimbabwe" and "Mugabe" correctly. If you speak to a Zimbabwean and listen to the way they say the words then you will see what I mean. The majority of people in the UK pronounce it incorrectly.
Sarah, Birmingham, UK

Re How to Say. How about teaching people how to pronounce Ascot (racecourse) and Avon (river)? Both these place names have become polluted by trade names of the same spelling because more people (who don’t live near these places) have heard of the AvOn Lady and used to drawn hot water from an AscOt gas heater. Even ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ announcers frequently say AscOt these days. Try Ascut or even Asct.
Tod, Croydon, UK

Nick, Cromer, in Tuesday's letters, thinks that Britain is synonymous with the UK. It may be to him but for many others it isn't. It is because Northern Ireland is on a different island the foot and mouth exception was made by the EU. This connection to a particular piece of land is evident in the OED which says Britain is "The proper name of the whole island containing England, Wales, and Scotland, with their dependencies; more fully called Great Britain." It also says Britain was used as a term with the efforts made to unite England and Scotland; in 1604 James I was proclaimed "King of Great Britain"; and this name was adopted for the United Kingdom, at the Union in 1707. After that event, South Britain and North Britain are frequent in Acts of Parliament for England and Scotland respectively: the latter is still in occasional (chiefly postal) use. (So West Britain, humorously or polemically for "Ireland".)
Christopher Cowan, Derry, Northern Ireland

To Karina (Friday letters), the Latin verb "lego" translates as "I read" or "I choose" depending on context. I think in the context of Lego, I'll go with I choose.
Hat, Ponte.

Now, how would they cope if the man had a T-shirt printed with "I'm a Pratt" written on it?
Paul Robinson, York, UK

Re - I'm prepared to buy 100 copies of Kanye West's album, will anyone else join me? There must be enough MM fans to ensure that "Fiddy" goes home and stays there.
Anon

Talking about , I seem to remember in the 1970s or early '80s, the Registrar-General for Scotland refused to allow a baby from Skye to be registered "Princess" without the express consent of the Lord Chamberlain.
Alasdair Baxter, Nottingham, England

must qualify for the least likely sentence ever to appear in a news story.
Rob Foreman, London, UK

Re number four of last week's 10 things: "President George W Bush has fitness levels in the top 3% of the US population." Come off it - that's not saying much!
Lucy Jones, Manchester

Lunchtime Bonus Question

11:40 UK time, Monday, 13 August 2007

This is a one-time only offer, never to be repeated, but, yes, it's back.

Quiz enthusiasts the world over will be mourning the death of , the creator of TV gameshow Jeopardy!, in which contestants were given the answer and competed with each other to suggest what the correct question might have been.

Longtime Magazine readers will remember, probably with a dull ache somewhere around the solar plexus, our own perversion of that model, the Lunchtime Bonus Question. In our version, an answer from the day's news was presented to readers each morning, and they competed over the course of lunchtime to outdo each other with their underachievement and willful misunderstanding - the object of the exercise was to suggest not the correct question, Jeopardy-style, but rather the "most wrong" question.

Huge belly laughs at outrageous displays of wordplay genius never failed to... no, sorry, that's just not true. In the current climate the Monitor is forbidden from talking up the extent to which entries were amusing, and is certainly barred from offering anything like a keyring as a prize.

If the answer is "NEAR-PROFESSIONAL QUALITY", what is the question? Click on the comments button below to see some gloriously incorrect answers.

Paper Monitor

10:42 UK time, Monday, 13 August 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
ft_unblock203.gif
With the world's financial markets teetering on the verge of meltdown, Paper Monitor turns to its most trusted steed for such situations: the Financial Times. So, great Pink 'Un, how bad is it? What are we really up against here? Is it time to sell Paper Monitor Towers for a princely cash sum and stuff it all under the mattress?

"Central banks seek to unblock markets"... "Speculation rises over ECB and Fed move"... "Fears over US appetite to lend in Europe". It doesn't exactly answer the buy or sell conundrum.

But inside there's one of those time-honoured pictures of men in front of computer screens, one with his head in his hands. So, surely that means sell. Hold on, what's this: "Big rise in Vix as fears beset markets". Aha, at last common sense appears to be prevailing - this must be the plan to relieve the said blockage by applying liberal amounts of eucalyptus decongestant. Note to FT subs - it's not Vix, but Vicks.

Still, it's not all doom and gloom in the FT's offices - an observation borne out by the paper's effort on Saturday to hitch up to the Silly Season bandwagon, with the editorial "We've found Elvis". So what passes for a spot of summer fun in FT Land exactly? "A private equity consortium is understood to be confident of securing finance for a $500bn bid for General Electric."

Cue the tumbleweed and distant chimes from far-off clocktower.

Besides, Elvis really is alive 30 years after his supposed death. There's an interview with him in the Sun, which has tracked him down to a chippie in Bradford. And it's a corker of an interview. Try this for size:

The Sun: "And what about Pete Doherty and Kate Moss splitting up?"
The King: "He ain't nothin' but a hound dog.
Smoking crack all the time.
Well I'd love to bed his ex-girlfriend,
But he ain't no friend of mine."

Something of a non sequitur, but at 72 years of age, Paper Monitor is willing to excuse His Royal Highness.

Daily Mini-Quiz

10:36 UK time, Monday, 13 August 2007

Friday's DMQ was in jubilant mood, celebrating the 75th anniversary of Lego, and asking: true or false, Lego is Latin for "I put together". Fifty-eight per cent were correct in answering false. The name comes from two Danish words "leg godt" meaning "play well" and the Latin interpretation was discovered later. Today's Daily Mini-Quiz is on the .

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