成人快手

Archives for January 2011

DJ Campbell. Blackpool to Blackpool. 4 million.

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Will Saunders Will Saunders | 18:30 UK time, Monday, 31 January 2011

Transfer Updates

DJ Campbell. Blackpool to Blackpool. 4 million.

DJ Cambell enters Blackpool FC's HQ

Blackpool have pulled off a surprise transfer coup by signing DJ Campbell, whom they signed from Leicester for 拢1.2 million in 2010, from themselves for 拢4 million. Manager Ian Holloway explains:
"I know it seems daft and it is daft and I am daft but I just enjoyed signing DJ so much last year that I thought I'd do it again, basically. Even though he's obviously a lot more expensive now". Blackpool chairman Karl Oyston has described the bonus Holloway will receive from the transfer as "a side issue".

Transfer Day Updates are written by Laurence Howarth

David Beckham's tattoos. David Beckham to Gareth Bale. 2.5 million.

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Jon Aird | 17:42 UK time, Monday, 31 January 2011

Transfer Updates

David Beckham's tattoos. David Beckham to Gareth Bale. 拢2.5 million.

Gareth Beale with David Beckham's tattoos.

It's common knowledge that they've been unsettled for some time, so it's no great surprise to see David Beckham's tattoos being transfered from his torso to that of Tottenham wonderkid Gareth Bale. The tattoos themselves tell the press:

"We've had some great times on David but he's, like, 35 now or something and it was getting a bit embarrassing, frankly. So we jumped at the chance of being transfered onto Gareth and we're going to try our best to make him look every bit as skanky as Becks has since he got us."

Transfer Day Updates are written by Laurence Howarth

Pele c. 1970 to Manchester City. Fee Undisclosed

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Steve Saul | 16:54 UK time, Monday, 31 January 2011

Transfer Updates

Pele c. 1970 to Manchester City. Fee Undisclosed

Pele: Welcome to Manchester

Once again proving that they will leave no stone unturned in their quest for the Premier League title, Manchester City's owners have provided the club with the funds to invent time travel, go back to 1970, kidnap Pele and bring him to present-day Eastlands. The player himself gives this statement to the media, through his translator: "Where am I? I... this can't be happening. Have I gone mad? I've gone mad, haven't I? Have I? Have I gone mad? Have I? Help."

Transfer Day Updates are written by Laurence howarth

Richard Keys to FBI Unsolved Cases Department. Free transfer.

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Will Saunders Will Saunders | 15:55 UK time, Monday, 31 January 2011

Transfer Updates

Richard Keys to FBI Unsolved Cases Department. Free transfer.

Richard Keys with Mulder and Scully from The X Files

After his comments about the "dark forces at work" behind the Sky Sports sexism controversy, it's no


surprise to see the FBI snapping Keys up to work on their so-called X files. But Keys may already be in trouble with his new employers after allegedly forcing a lady alien to do all his ironing.

Transfer Day Updates are written by Laurence Howarth

Darren Bent to Lincoln City for 74 million

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Jon Aird | 12:36 UK time, Monday, 31 January 2011

Transfer Updates

Darren Bent to Lincoln City for 拢74 million

In the latest in a series of inexplicable transfers for the player, Darren Bent has joined Lincoln City for 拢74 million. Bent tells the press:

Darren Bent holding a Lincoln City FC scarf.

"I've had some great days at Aston Villa - about thirteen, I think - but it's time to move on. People will question why I'm swapping a top Premier League side for unfashionable League Two strugglers, but then people questioned why Johnny Rotten done them butter adverts, so... you know."

Transfer Day Updates are written by Laurence Howarth

Lionel Messi. Barcelona to Blackburn Rovers. 100 million.

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Jon Aird | 11:32 UK time, Monday, 31 January 2011

Transfer Updates

The Comedy Blog will bring you coverage of transfer deadline day with stories we confidently predict you won鈥檛 see anywhere else. Join us throughout the day as we break the big ones, and if you miss anything, you can check in with our colleagues at .

First up: Lionel Messi, Barcelona to Blackburn Rovers, 拢100 Million.

Lionel Messi in a flat cap, carrying a whippet.

In a sensational, if slightly misleading, press statement, the new owners of Blackburn Rovers announce the 拢100 million capture of Argentine superstar Lionel Messi:

"This is the perfect signing for Blackburn Rovers in every single respect, apart from the fact that it's not actually happening. Obviously. But imagine if it were! How cool would that be? And the fact we're even fantasising about a transfer likes this shows our ambition for the club and proves we're more than just a couple of random chancers, looking for a way to squander our chicken millions."

Transfer Day Updates are written by Laurence Howarth

Come Fly With Me - Again!

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Jon Aird | 00:01 UK time, Saturday, 29 January 2011

Attention all passengers, Come Fly With Me series two has been cleared for take off! Yes a second series has been commissioned by Danny Cohen, Controller 成人快手 One and Cheryl Taylor 成人快手 Controller of Comedy Commissioning.

Danny Cohen, said听 "Come Fly With Me has been a huge hit with audiences. I can't wait to see what Matt and David will do with the second series."

Mark 听Freeland, Head of in-house Comedy at the 成人快手 and Co-Exec Producer of Come Fly With Me has added "After such a flying start on 成人快手 One, it鈥檚 great news that Matt Lucas & David Walliams will once again be filling the check-in desks, departure lounges & cockpits with their wonderful & weird characters.鈥

We'd like to thank those of you who have been so vocal in support of the show and whilst we can confirm that the new series will return to 成人快手 One we can't say precisely when it will be yet as Matt & David have to fulfil a variety of commitments first.

Of course in the meantime you can still catch the whole of series one on iPlayer and enjoy all the online extras.

Matt Lucas and David Walliams play an assortment of characters in Come Fly WIth Me

Meet Mrs. Brown

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Steve Saul | 16:39 UK time, Friday, 28 January 2011

You may have seen trailers for Mrs. Brown's Boys in between our comedy shows on TV.听 Wondering who the hell she is? Be baffled no more.

Despite her army of passionate fans, Mrs. Brown is the UK鈥檚 best-kept comedy secret.

Brendan O鈥機arroll has only ever committed to strictly limited seasons in live venues in Eire, Scotland, and the North of England. And he's always refused TV.

Until now.

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Brendan will be joined on screen by a unique cast: his family.

They've all trod the boards together for years, touring and honing the world of Mrs Brown before bringing it to your television screens. Brendan's real-life wife Jennifer Gibney as Cathy, his daughter Fiona O'Carroll as Maria, his son Danny O'Carroll as Buster, and his sister Eilish O鈥機arroll as Winnie McGoogan.

The theatre show, Mrs. Brown鈥檚 Boys, has been a sell-out success for a number of years in Eire and the UK, and this new six part series is jam-packed with all the laughs, surprises and drama fans can expect from the live shows.

Mrs. Brown's Boys begins on 成人快手 One in February.

Got a question for Mrs. Brown? Don't miss your chance to #AskMrsBrown.

The News Quiz: Are men the problem in football?

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Jaine Sykes Jaine Sykes | 13:59 UK time, Friday, 28 January 2011

This week's News Quiz lineup features Jeremy Hardy, Sue Perkins, Paul Sinha and Carrie Quinlan alongside presenter Sandi Toksvig. Tonight, the panel tackles Sky Sports' own goal, and asks, 'Are men the problem in football?'

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Listen to The News Quiz on Fridays at 18.30 or Saturdays at 12.30 on 成人快手 Radio 4.

There's now two comedy podcasts from Radio 4; Friday Night Comedy and the new Comedy Of The Week. Find out more about the Comedy Of The Week podcast here.

How Sexist are You? (on a scale of 1 to Andy Gray)

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Jon Aird | 16:05 UK time, Thursday, 27 January 2011

We told you on Monday we were working on a project called Urgent Genius, with a whole bunch of people, to see what kind of online comedy can be turned around in just 48 hours, and now we can show you some of the results.

Jon Plackett and Stephen Moynihan put together this little quiz which asks, for obvious reasons, how sexist are you? At the end, be sure to click the twitter button to let your mates know how you did.

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You can see more of Jon and Stephen's work including on the

#UrgentGenius: Football pundits apologise?

Steve Saul | 17:42 UK time, Wednesday, 26 January 2011

"Dark forces" may or may not be at work tonight, but the squad are positively racing against the clock to meet tomorrow morning's 9am deadline.

Here's a little something one team have put together today.

It's a graphic inspired by ugly goings-on in the world of the beautiful game:

Urgent comedy, but is it 'Urgent Genius'?

Steve Saul | 18:00 UK time, Monday, 24 January 2011

Last October we created a new strand for topical web comedy on the site: SPOUT.

It's where we make of-the-moment comedy with new and emerging comedians.

We've had some hits. The Queen on Facebook has been passed around over half a million times now and last week we realised our latest video (below) with Harry Redknapp and David Beckham swapping texts had been embedded all over the place.

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This week we're collaborating with a whole bunch of people to see what kind of online comedy can be turned around in just 48 hours. The working title for this project is "" - an idea from a nice man we've met called . John thinks the best way to make content stand out online is by it being both topical and shareable.

If you can tap into the conversations as they are happening online you instantly increase the chances of your content being shared.

How does this apply to comedy?

We're about to find out.

From 9am tomorrow morning to 9am on Thursday, a community of comedy writers, performers, bloggers and like minded inviduals will be responding to the big stories online and seeing what comedy they can create in the time available.

You'll be seeing some of their work on this website and we're very keen to hear what you think of it.... and if you've got ideas for subjects to cover in the next two days then let us know by making your suggestions below, on or on adding the hashtag #UrgentGenius.

News Quiz: Why will there be no end of the peer show?

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Jaine Sykes Jaine Sykes | 15:35 UK time, Friday, 21 January 2011

It's Friday, so here's a little treat from tonight's News Quiz, featuring Sue Perkins, Mark Steel, Jeremy Hardy and Hugo Rifkind.

After marathon sittings in the House of Lords this week, Sandi Toksvig asks, "Why will there be no end of the peer show?" Tune into the News Quiz on Fridays at 18.30 or Saturdays at 12.30.

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Listen to The News Quiz on Fridays at 18.30 or Saturdays at 12.30 on 成人快手 Radio 4.

There's now two comedy podcasts from Radio 4; Friday Night Comedy and the all-new Comedy Of The Week. Find out more about the Comedy Of The Week podcast here.

British Comedy Award Predictions

Steve Saul | 14:51 UK time, Friday, 21 January 2011

We'll be backstage at the tomorrow night (9pm, Channel 4). Before they kick off, we've asked top comedy writer (Miranda and Not Going Out) for his predictions...

It's BCA time! Alright, that never caught on. The British Comedy Awards are upon us - that time of year when we see just how much the host can insult everyone in the room, although this year Ricky Gervais has already set the bar at the Golden Globes.

I write for 成人快手 Two's Miranda, which delightfully has been nominated for four awards, so obviously I'm rooting for that all the way. I won't be at the do, as I'm off touring my new stand-up show.

I've been to the awards once before (typically the one year they didn't broadcast it) for 成人快手 One's Not Going Out, and yes it's as raucous there in person as it looks on TV. Ego after ego prove themselves bigger than any you'd find in a large-print Latin textbook, but looking down the list this year I can't find a single one who shouldn't be there. What a good year for British comedy. Backpattery all round.

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So, some predictions, other than that it'll overrun and Jonathan Ross will try to out-Gervais Gervais:

Best Comedy Panel Show is always tricky, because I've seen each nominated show be better than the others, depending on the guests. Could be any of them. Let's give it to Would I Lie To You for being the new boy at school. HIGNFY and Shooting Stars don't need awards any more.

I think Charlie Brooker will make a popular choice for Entertainment Personality, and indeed Newswipe for Entertainment Programme, even if his co-nominees Ant and Dec (as one), Harry and Graham all notch up bigger audiences. Give it to Brooker. I'd like to hear how sardonically he can say thank you.

David Mitchell for Best Male Comic? He doesn't seem like a 'comic', since that implies an act, and he makes it look so effortless. So I'd give it to him.

Sarah Millican has to walk away with either Best Female Comic or Best Breakthrough. If anyone can, Millican. (I'm copyrighting that for T-shirts.)

Can it be true that Armstrong and Miller have never been nominated? Give them an award just for waiting so long.

I loved Four Lions, so am delighted that Kayvan Novak and Nigel Lindsay are nominated... I'll tune in just to see the clips (I really should just buy the DVD).

I've no idea why Best Comedy Actor has four nominees rather than three like every other category, but then who can choose between Capaldi, Buckley, Hollander and Brydon? Me. It's Capaldi.

And this new catchily-titled 'People's Choice Award For The King Or Queen Of Comedy'; (forever to be known as The BCA PCAFTKOQOC)... Well it's always dangerous, giving people any choice 鈥 see The National Television Awards next Wednesday for what wrong things happens then.

I'm waving the Mirandic flag, but of course Michael McIntyre has redefined what it means to be popular. I don鈥檛 know if comedy needs a king or queen though. I think comedy should be a republic. Or an anarcho-syndicalist commune. As for Best Sitcom, Best New Comedy, The People's Choice, and Best Comedy Actress?

I've told Miranda to break a leg... just not via a comedy pratfall on the way to the podium.

UPDATE: 成人快手 Comedy will be at the awards! Watch this space and follow us on and for behind-the-scenes fun stuff from the ceremony (Saturday night, 9pm on Channel 4).

Check out Paul Kerensa's website.

Watch our British Comedy Award Collection of clips from nominated shows.

Visit the official website for the .

Funniest Tweeps a-Tweetin'?

Steve Saul | 17:09 UK time, Wednesday, 19 January 2011

Another week and another Top 10 Comedy Tweeters list is doing the rounds...

This week Top Social Media bods have used to compile this list of the ten most influential comedians tweeting right now:

  1. Stephen Fry -
  2. Eddie Izzard -
  3. Graham Linehan -
  4. Russell Brand -
  5. Alan Carr -
  6. Jonathan Ross -
  7. David Mitchell -
  8. Armando Ianucci -
  9. John Cleese -
  10. Simon Pegg -

While it is a tad surprising that some ingenious comedians who use Twitter brilliantly don't appear (eg, , , Holly Walsh, and ), it seems we always see the same names in a different order when it comes to these lists.

We want to know about the hidden gems that never feature in lists like these.

Who are the funniest people on Twitter?

Post your recommendations below and we'll #FF as many as we can on Friday.

Hattie

Steve Saul | 17:00 UK time, Tuesday, 18 January 2011

Ruth Jones stars as Carry On star Hattie Jacques in Hattie (tonight, 9pm on 成人快手 Four).

We noticed how many of you loved Eric and Ernie and thought you'd want to know about 成人快手 Four's new comedy bio drama Hattie. We've got a blurb from Ruth, a bio of Hattie Jacques and raided the 成人快手 archives for exclusive clips of the legend herself in action.

Ruth says: "Hattie Jacques is a comedy heroine of mine and I'm thrilled to have been asked to play her. She was an incredibly talented and fascinating woman both on and off screen and so much more than just the 'funny fat lady.'"

About Hattie: Hattie Jacques began her career in the Forties, first gaining attention through her radio appearances with Tommy Handley on It's That Man Again and later with Tony Hancock on Hancock's Half Hour.

From 1958 to 1974 she appeared in 14 Carry On films, often playing the matron. She had a long professional partnership with Eric Sykes, with whom she co-starred in his long-running television series, Sykes.

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Hattie also starred in two Norman Wisdom films, The Square Peg and Follow A Star.

Jacques was married to John Le Mesurier from 1949 until their divorce in 1965. Her final appearance on television was an advertisement for Asda in 1980. She died later that year from a heart attack.

Hattie is on tonight, 9pm on 成人快手 Four.

See Hattie Jacques in this sketch from Sykes.

Read Producer Seb Barwell's blog about making Hattie.

Watch more clips of Ruth Jones in Little Britain, The Great Outdoors and Gavin and Stacey.

News Quiz: the clink is going to shrink

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Jon Aird | 17:09 UK time, Friday, 14 January 2011

Here's an advance dose of tonight's News Quiz, featuring Susan Calman, Jeremy Hardy, Henning Wehn and Sue Perkins. After Justice Secretary Ken Clarke announced the closure of three "outdated and expensive" prisons, Sandi Toksvig asks German stand-up Henning Wehn for an analysis.

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Listen to the News Quiz on Fridays at 18.30 or Saturdays at 12.30 on 成人快手 Radio 4.

Meet the Three Scientists

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Steve Saul | 16:47 UK time, Friday, 14 January 2011

3 scientists

Meet Scientists One, Two and Three...

The Three Scientists are Professor Dhurkins, Professor Boggins and Professor Lurd.

They came together after responding to an advertisement in a popular science magazine, although none of them is quite sure who put the advert in. They work together in a small lab space in the UK, having obtained funds from various organisations around the world, although some of the sources of these funds are being investigated by a number of national and international legal bodies.

Their remit is to know the unknowable, discover the undiscoverable and possibilicise the impossible, hence their experiments often enter strange realms of matter transportation, magic, time travel and miniaturisation. No concept is too outlandish, no invention too brain-melty, no potion too risky to swallow. The Three Scientists are pushing the envelopes of experience and thinking outside the boxes of rationality. This is science as you鈥檝e never seen it.

This is Three Scientists.

Professor Dhurkins


Professor Dhurkins has been working in the field of robotics, immunology and plant psychology for fifteen years, having won a scholarship to Hawaii Science School after writing a poem about Jupiter. He worked for five of those years at NASA, but was forced to go freelance after an incident "involving a rocket". He also attempted to put monkeys on the moon, which was frowned upon by various governments. Also, the monkeys went missing.

When not in the lab, Professor Dhurkins, a self-styled maverick, likes to ride his scooter to places of scientific interest and write poems about them. A keen badminton player, Professor Dhurkins once won a 2nd prize trophy in the 2003 NASA Badminton Championships.

For Professor Dhurkins, science is a 鈥渂ig wondrous game, played in space and minds, and all the humans and molecules are players, but no-one knows the rules.鈥 It is outbursts like that which greatly annoy his fellow scientist, Professor Lurd, although Professor Dhurkins is blissfully unaware that his gung-ho approach to their profession is frowned upon in such a way.

Did you know? Professor Dhurkins only eats ice cream.

Professor Boggins

A child prodigy, Professor Boggins completed her A Levels at age 7, and was the youngest entrant to Cambridge University at age 9. By the age of 15, she had two 1sts from the university (one in biochemical manufacturing, the other in drama) but was injured in an experiment, and as a result was without the use of the back of her head for three years.

The successful recipient of a back-of-head transplant, Professor Boggins went out into the world to pursue her dreams of being a prominent scientist, easily finding a job within the UK government鈥檚 agricultural science sector, but the lasting effects of the damage to the back of her head were not known at that time, and when a three year study into the effects of GM carrots revealed that she鈥檇 been working all that time on a "hover-bed" she lost her job at once.

Happily ensconced in the lab with Professors Dhurkins and Lurd, Professor Boggins has resigned herself to the fact that she鈥檚 becoming technically stupider by the day. This hasn鈥檛 thwarted her ambitions in the slightest 鈥 in fact, of all three scientists she鈥檚 arguably the least lazy, with Professor Dhurkins often admitting that he won鈥檛 perform safety checks on his experiments as he finds them "tedious."

Did you know? Professor Boggins has faith in all of the major world religions.

Professor Lurd

The eldest and most revered of the Three Scientists, Professor Lurd has worked in the field for thirty years (although three of those years were spent trapped in a cave, living off a diet of bat guana and stalactite water). Having apprenticed Einstein when he was a small boy (or so he claims), Professor Lurd went into the lucrative field of military science, taking great pride in developing bigger and better bombs, and what he described once in The Scientific Review as a toothpaste "that could make your brain catch fire."

A promising career beckoned, and Professor Lurd was very pleased to have assisted many nations with their weaponry needs, but after an accident in which a truckload of Colonels were blown up, he was forced to go freelance, and answered the ad in the magazine he found in a bin, leading him to where he works today.

Did you know? Professor Lurd claims to have no interests outside of the field of science, and it is rumoured he sleeps in the lab. That said, he has been married three times and is the father of five children (names not known).

Previous scientific experiments:

Watch the Three Scientists construct a Time Machine.

Watch the Three Scientists' cloning experiment.

The Great Outdoors rambles onto 成人快手2

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Steve Saul | 14:10 UK time, Thursday, 13 January 2011

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Kevin Cecil, co-creator of The Great Outdoors, writes...

This week our sitcom about a rambling group, The Great Outdoors, gets broadcast on 成人快手2. Thursday 13th January, 10pm, (thanks for asking).

It has previously been shown on 成人快手4 but this transfer seems like a big step, like going to big school or being signed on loan by Tottenham. The big boys used to be referred to as the terrestrial channels rather than the digital ones but aren鈥檛 all channels digital these days?

We might need a new term to describe One and Two. Perhaps 鈥榯hose channels that still don鈥檛 have channel idents in the corner.鈥 Anyway, we loved our 成人快手4 home but have put some butter on the paws of the show and hope it will settle in at 成人快手2 and hopefully make some new friends there.

When TGO first went out in July, everyone was unanimous in thinking it the breakout hit of the summer and all agreed it was one of the most spectacular reboots of a nineteenth century detective drama for many years. No, sorry, no, that was Sherlock. We got slightly less coverage (the term 鈥榟idden gem鈥 has been used more than once) but the people who saw it liked it and some of them even said they liked it a lot.

My writing partner, Andy Riley, and I did fear that, on airing, the walking community would use OS Pathfinders to track us down and then beat us to death with Swiss Poles but, in fact, they really took to it. Country Walking Magazine called it 鈥榓 thing of beauty鈥 and we鈥檝e heard from all sorts of people who鈥檝e been on organised walks since and said to each other 鈥榟ey, this is a bit like the Great Outdoors鈥 during their scheduled Kendal mint cake stops.

The nice thing is that I鈥檝e heard of lots of people identifying with different characters. Our leads, Mark Heap and Ruth Jones, got a lot of praise and deservedly so but there was no character that somebody hasn鈥檛 told me was their favourite.

This is wonderful as a writer. Some sitcoms work fine with one or two really funny people and others supporting them but we like to try and make everyone quirky and interesting. In a lot of my favourite shows (Larry Sanders, say, or Father Ted), you can鈥檛 move for funny characters.

Creating this sitcom has been a bit like giving birth to seven fully grown children and if you have given birth to seven fully grown children you will know that it can be quite a painful, not to say messy process, but at the end of it you want all your new offspring to do well equally. You need the right cast for this, and with Katherine Parkinson, Stephen Wight, Steve Edge, Joe Tracini and Gwyneth Keyworth, we got that.

In the interest of balance I should say that there is one person I know who has told me, several times, and by several times I mean every single time he has seen me, that his friend, a keen rambler, didn鈥檛 like the show because we are 鈥榤ocking walkers鈥. Well, there is a bit of that going on, yes, but we like to think we are doing it from the inside. If we鈥檙e having a go at anyone it would be ourselves and our own faults. I feel okay about it because I know our piss taking is done with affection.

Also I know that if Bob saw a show about rambling on the 成人快手 he鈥檇 be writing to Points Of View about it immediately.All sitcoms that deal with particular groups get a bit of criticism. I bet Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon are always going up to themselves in restaurants and complaining that they didn鈥檛 portray themselves fairly in The Trip.


You鈥檒l also notice that the weather was quite a lot better when we went for our walks. I don鈥檛 know if the walkers in the picture have seen the show but next year I hope to see David with a map in a plastic bag around his neck and Helena with a flare gun.

So we are very proud of how our three part sitcom turned out. If you haven鈥檛 seen The Great Outdoors 鈥 well, I was hoping that writing this was an implied request to watch it, but perhaps you need it spelt out 鈥 please watch.

罢丑别谤别鈥檚 one question I get asked loads more than any other which is will there be any more?

Well, I can exclusively reveal here that I have absolutely no idea. But then this time last year we had no idea that we were going to get these ones made. What I can say is that we鈥檝e got plenty of ideas of what we would do given the chance, so if the cast become available and the 成人快手 would like some then, maybe. Until then, please enjoy the ones that we made earlier.

The sun does shine in Britain sometimes. Here鈥檚 the proof.

The Great Outdoors starts Thursday 13th January at 10pm on 成人快手 Two. Read more from Kevin on the 成人快手 TV Blog as he answers the question: can rambling ever be cool?

Kevin loves his cast. Rightly so. Wanna meet them?

Need more Kevin Cecil? Read his Come Fly With Me Blog.

Barbara Windsor to guest star on Come Fly With Me.

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Steve Saul | 00:01 UK time, Thursday, 13 January 2011

Barbara Windsor will guest star in tonight's episode of Come Fly With Me (9pm on 成人快手 One).

Will Babs go mile high with Moses?

You'll have to watch the show to find out...

Can't wait?

Check out FlyLo's duty-free catalogue, an online check-in, parodies of budget airline ads and all sorts of other stuff. Some very clever people at have made it so.

Screens from the Come Fly With Me website

Barba Windsor joins the Come Fly With Me crew tonight, 9pm on 成人快手 One

HIGNFY: Ageism

Steve Saul | 16:25 UK time, Wednesday, 12 January 2011

Repercussions from the recent age descrimination case are already becoming apparent...

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HIGNFY: Johnson confusion

Steve Saul | 16:35 UK time, Tuesday, 11 January 2011

The Ed Miliband (aka "The Space Cowboy," aka "The Gangster of Love," aka "Maurice") has defended Alan Johnson after the Shadow Chancellor appeared not to know the rate of National Insurance paid by employers.

Read the rest of this entry

How to Behave in the Outside World #4: Handling life's irritations.

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Leila Johnston | 10:11 UK time, Tuesday, 11 January 2011

How to Behave in the Outside World

Welcome to the fourth instalment of 's indispensable guide to how to behave like a normal person in everyday life.

Following last week's money saving advice, here's Leila's guide to keeping a cool head at all times. Does the word 'chillax' actually annoy the hell out of you? Take a deep breathe, make yourself a cuppa, put your feet up and let Leila soothe your anger. Click on the irritations to score points!

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Animation by

Handling Life's Irritations

What, specifically, are the chief wind-ups of daily life and what 鈥 if anything 鈥 can be done about them? I鈥檝e got it down to four main infuriations:

  1. Camping. It's amazing, the spectrum of irritations that can permeate a fly sheet. As if having to sleep in an airless canvas coffin with your face too close to your shoes wasn't bad enough, tents collect mud, tissues, condensation, flyers, newspapers and all kinds of other crap you didn't put there. Last time I packed up my tent after a festival I had to find space for a small branch of Starbucks, that git off the news who always skis to work when it snows, and a guilty-looking Nicholas Lyndhurst in 1940s clothing. He was unable to explain himself.
  2. The Spring. Spring is by far the sneakiest of the four seasons. Winter and summer play by the rules, while autumn is Christmas's inferior warm-up act 鈥 and knows it. But spring! It's as cold as winter and as blowy as autumn, yet it decks itself with flowers and parades about with all the confidence of an uninvited arse slap. Everyone knows without Easter, spring would be nothing. Nothing.
  3. Rubbish. Those who miss the binmen repeatedly should know it's OK to occasionally leave rubbish bags outside charity shops. Don't do it every time, but once in a while is OK. It鈥檚 also worth looking into what storks do when they鈥檙e not delivering babies. If you're having a big clear-out, you might be able to get one to drop some stuff off at the tip for you.
  4. Stupid People. Stupid people are everywhere, ringing their own doorbells to see if they鈥檙e in, trying to eat the stickers on apples, thinking every bright light is the moon. If you see a stupid person heading towards that self-checkout machine you had your eye on, and don't have time to wait for them to figure out it鈥檚 not an overhead projector, distract them with some made up facts. You know, "The 'ventriloquist' is actually the name of the dummy", or "The Virgin Galactic has no windows", or "Westminster Abbey is actually the name of the bell".

How to Behave in the Outside World is written by the Buddha of blogging, Leila Johnston.

New Radio 4 Comedy of the Week podcast: Launches Today

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Jaine Sykes Jaine Sykes | 10:28 UK time, Monday, 10 January 2011

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From the 成人快手 Radio 4 blog, Leigh Aspin writes...

Mondays don't have to be miserable any more. A new (free) Radio 4 comedy podcast is here to start your week with a laugh.

Watch the video above with Mr Mark Thomas to explain what it is and why you might want to download it.

You can download for free from the Comedy of the Week podcast page, and it鈥檚 yours to keep and listen to on the move.

So why have we done it this way?听The existing Friday Night Comedy podcast (featuring The News Quiz or The Now Show each week) is downloaded over a million times every month and consistently occupies one of the top slots in the iTunes podcast chart. Audience feedback has told us that you'd like more comedy to download.

For rights reasons, we're not able to offer all of our comedy for download. But we鈥檝e reached an agreement to offer single episodes from a number of Radio 4 comedies. We trialled this service over the summer on the Friday Night podcast feed (while The Now Show and News Quiz were on their summer break) and it was well received. So here's your chance to download a wider selection of Radio 4's comedy and listen at your leisure.

Here's the schedule for the next few months:

  • 10 Jan: Mark Thomas: The Manifesto
  • 17 Jan: Ed Reardon's Week
  • 24 Jan: Rudy's Rare Records
  • 31 Jan: Showstoppers
  • 7 Feb: Tom Wrigglesworth's Open Letters
  • 14 Feb: Bleak Expectations
  • 21 Feb: It's Your Round
  • 28 Feb: Brian Gulliver's Travels
  • 7 Mar: I've Never Seen Star Wars
  • 14 Mar: It Is Rocket Science
  • 21 Mar: Just A Minute
  • 28 Mar: The Simon Day Show

Leigh Aspin is Interactive Editor at 成人快手 Radio 4. A new Radio 4 Comedy of the Week podcast is available every Monday from 10th January.

When Mark Thomas invaded Jersey

Steve Saul | 17:25 UK time, Thursday, 6 January 2011

Mark Thomas: The Manifesto

A new series of Mark Thomas: The Manifesto is back.听听You can听download Episode 1听on听Radio 4's new Comedy of the Week podcast.

Before听the new series听began, Mark had some unfinished business to attend to.

Mark Thomas writes...

Ah Jersey, the Kent of the Channel Islands! Not quite British, not quite right and the proper noun that precedes cows, potatoes and tax avoiders

In the last series of the Manifesto, the audience voted for me to invade Jersey, however this was not the mere whim of a particularly malicious historical re-enactment society. No. The aim was to bring the Private Finance Initiative projects that had gone offshore back onshore.

Let me explain: Under the Labour government public building projects had been outsourced to private consortiums who promptly took the ownership offshore, for example the 成人快手 Office building in London is owned by a company now based in Guernsey. Amongst the studio audience this practice proved to be as popular as a broken thermostat in a care home.

In December 2010 I went to Jersey to recce the island in preparation for an invasion when the weather picked up.

Arriving at the airport I was reminded of another winning policy from the last series, namely that anyone who takes a short haul flight should walk the return journey. Fortunately it would be blasphemy to even contemplate such a feat.

Greeting myself and the shows producer Colin Anderson at the airport was a large sign with the words "Welcome to Jersey" sponsored by the Royal Bank of Scotland (who invested their sense of irony in the sub prime market and lost it completely).

Our visit had been timed with a demonstration in the capital, St Helier, protesting the unfair tax laws brought in by the island's Senate. These would see non Jersey based companies paying 0% tax (high street brands for example), banks in Jersey paying 10% tax on their profits, but island owned businesses would have a tax rate of 20%.

Speakers at the protest bravely struggled through the squall that had enveloped the city square shouting above the storm to address a crowd of about 100 bedraggled people sheltering under umbrellas. It was in truth a slightly pitiful sight and my natural reaction was to laugh cruelly at all and sundry. Then the organisers asked me to say a few words.

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The EU declared elements of this policy "harmful" and a further ruling is expected later this year. So our timing had been impeccable unfortunately so had the torrential downpour that descended upon us.

And that, officer, is how I came to be screaming at strangers from a park bench in the rain.

Mark Thomas: The Manifesto is on Thursday nights at 18.30pm on Radio 4

Find out more about Radio 4's new Comedy of the Week podcast.

HIGNFY: Rubbish

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Steve Saul | 11:10 UK time, Wednesday, 5 January 2011

The rubbish collection row takes an surprising new turn.

After a winter of litter-strewn despair it seems there is finally light at the end of the tunnel.

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