[Grippenschaaft] Let me self-help myself help you
HI! I'M DOCTOR GUSTAV GRIPPENSCHAAFT, BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF SELF-HELP MYSELF HELP YOU.
Notice how I introduced myself to you just now. I did it confidently and I looked you directly in the eye. A STRONG MANLY HANDSHAKE OF WORDS. Unless you read it wrong.
Twelve years ago, I WAS LIKE YOU - socially awkward, unassertive and paranoid. I was also in jail.
That was before I found the SECRET TO HAPPINESS (and you can too).
In March 2005, shortly after my release, I founded the Wisconsin University of Successology. In May of that same year I graduated. I was top of my class. SEEING IS ACHIEVING.
That was the FIRST STEP TOWARDS THE REST OF MY LIFE.
Now look at me. No, really look at me. I'm one of life's winners. I'm a bestselling author, a self-qualified doctor and a dedicated father to countless children around the world. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
When the ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ asked me to share my secrets of Successology with the people of England, Scotland, Wales, Europe and Cornwall, I was apprehensive. Would they have the same problems? Could I indeed help them? The answer is yes and yes.Ìý
Join me now on a journey: A JOURNEY INTO YOURSELF.
GUSTAV'S THOUGHT OF THE DAY
"When you next catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror I want you to note two of your best qualities. Say them out loud. Now do the same with three of your worst qualities but say them even louder and in a deep, gruff voice. Repeat until you genuinely frighten yourself."
Grippenschaaft is written by Thomas Nelstrop and Simeon Goulden.
Notice how I introduced myself to you just now. I did it confidently and I looked you directly in the eye. A STRONG MANLY HANDSHAKE OF WORDS. Unless you read it wrong.
Twelve years ago, I WAS LIKE YOU - socially awkward, unassertive and paranoid. I was also in jail.
That was before I found the SECRET TO HAPPINESS (and you can too).
In March 2005, shortly after my release, I founded the Wisconsin University of Successology. In May of that same year I graduated. I was top of my class. SEEING IS ACHIEVING.
That was the FIRST STEP TOWARDS THE REST OF MY LIFE.
Now look at me. No, really look at me. I'm one of life's winners. I'm a bestselling author, a self-qualified doctor and a dedicated father to countless children around the world. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
When the ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ asked me to share my secrets of Successology with the people of England, Scotland, Wales, Europe and Cornwall, I was apprehensive. Would they have the same problems? Could I indeed help them? The answer is yes and yes.Ìý
Join me now on a journey: A JOURNEY INTO YOURSELF.
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"When you next catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror I want you to note two of your best qualities. Say them out loud. Now do the same with three of your worst qualities but say them even louder and in a deep, gruff voice. Repeat until you genuinely frighten yourself."
Grippenschaaft is written by Thomas Nelstrop and Simeon Goulden.
Comment number 1.
At 24th Aug 2009, euanmanson wrote:I followed the good Doctor's advice and I'm much better now. Much better than all of you losers. Much better.
Complain about this comment (Comment number 1)