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FOOD THEFT, IT'S FOOD THEFT, SOMEONE'S GONE FOOD THIEVING CRAZY I TELL YOU.

Chris Evans | 15:12 UK time, Tuesday, 29 January 2008

So my ex-local has been the victim of theft for the second time in as many weeks but here, listen, these thieves is crazy, all they've nicked is...

...food.

And not all the food but only some of it and not just some of it but for example, the milk but not the cream - are these dieting food thieves ? As well as only certain cheeses ? Thieves that only want the food not the cash and have the time, the where with all and the taste to be selective about what cheeses to pilfer. When I heard about it, I almost died laughing.

On another note, the pea jar has seen a significant drop in depaosits since the arrival of the puppy. Two peas only to be precise, now I expected the usual post marriage drop off but this presnet decline is more exponential than I had bargained for.

Ho hum.

CLP.

2008.

X.

Comments

  1. At 03:45 PM on 29 Jan 2008, hazel love wrote:

    Ah Christophe, you need to check for footprints, then look for a cheerful cat. The said cat will probably be fat and burping.

    Rea the pea.

    You know where you stand...and it doesn't seem to be anywhere near the swinging chandelier for the time being...

    give yerself a rest
    love
    hazel
    x

  2. At 04:18 PM on 29 Jan 2008, BINGO STAR wrote:

    Yo CLP & ALL,

    Bingo Star ere.

    CLP - I think, the theives, it might be someone stocking up who's been reading too many Nostradamus books - their practising for the big one when it's only survival of the fittest - knopw what am sayin'!!!!!

    Na.... nor do I CLP, nor do I!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    CLP - I know how ter spice up in the jig department - write a beautiful love song, visit Ann Summers & feed the missus on strawberries - works for me.
    Well the song writing bit didn't but that's another story. But am sure it would work for you CLP man - i've 'eard yuv goot connections in the music world!

    Susam S - I thought it was some writing - the poem. I'll look forward ter more rythmical 'appenings!

    Prof Plum & Clodagh - calm down..... calm down kiddas...... lyke..... calllllm down!!!!!!

    PS It's Tom Sellecks birthdee terdee!!!!!

    Chow!

  3. At 04:20 PM on 29 Jan 2008, wrote:

    Maybe they're trying to stop people dieting when they go out for food :) If you're going to go out, you might as well make the most of it!

    How odd about the pea jar. What a strange coincidence that this has coincided with the arrival of the puppy..... guess you're still finding unmade cups of tea in the evenings too, no?

    At least you have someone/thing to blame about the cups of tea, I have only myself - I just got home from buying a brocolli which I ought to have bought this morning when I went out, to find a cold pot of tea which I had made after lunch. I've made about 5 cups of tea today and I think I've actually drunk maybe 1 and a half cups...

    Anyhoo here's a recipe for you (today's lunchtime Jeni special):
    Butternut squash soup with ginger
    2 tbsp butter
    2 butternut squash, peeled, de-seeded and diced
    2 leeks, washed, trimmed and sliced
    2 pints chicken stock
    1 tbsp ground ginger
    salt and pepper
    2 tbsp greek yoghurt
    Melt the butter in a large lidded pan. Add the squash and leeks, coat in the butter, cover and cook very gently for 10 minutes until beginning to soften but not colouring.
    Add the ground ginger, stir and cook 1 minute more.
    Add the stock, bring to the boil, cover and simmer 20 minutes.
    Remove from heat. Blend / purée. Add the yoghurt and blend again. Reheat gently, but don't let it boil.
    Ladle into bowls, and add another dollop of yoghurt before serving.

    Am quite pleased with this as I made it myself! Although I guess that once you know how to make soup, other flavours are just a matter of try it and see....

    Thanks gingembre - I think I must have found it already :) Are you allowed to rejoin faceache again under a "real" name, Prof?

    Is it still only Tuesday?

    xxJeni

  4. At 04:22 PM on 29 Jan 2008, gingembre wrote:

    prof - ensuite, no problem...

    ...a room with a view too???

    KWx

  5. At 04:35 PM on 29 Jan 2008, wrote:

    Maybe they're trying to stop people dieting when they go out for food :) If you're going to go out, you might as well make the most of it!

    How odd about the pea jar. What a strange coincidence that this has coincided with the arrival of the puppy..... guess you're still finding unmade cups of tea in the evenings too, no?

    At least you have someone/thing to blame about the cups of tea, I have only myself - I just got home from buying a brocolli which I ought to have bought this morning when I went out, to find a cold pot of tea which I had made after lunch. I've made about 5 cups of tea today and I think I've actually drunk maybe 1 and a half cups...

    Anyhoo here's a recipe for you (today's lunchtime Jeni special):
    Butternut squash soup with ginger
    2 tbsp butter
    2 butternut squash, peeled, de-seeded and diced
    2 leeks, washed, trimmed and sliced
    2 pints chicken stock
    1 tbsp ground ginger
    salt and pepper
    2 tbsp greek yoghurt
    Melt the butter in a large lidded pan. Add the squash and leeks, coat in the butter, cover and cook very gently for 10 minutes until beginning to soften but not colouring.
    Add the ground ginger, stir and cook 1 minute more.
    Add the stock, bring to the boil, cover and simmer 20 minutes.
    Remove from heat. Blend / purée. Add the yoghurt and blend again. Reheat gently, but don't let it boil.
    Ladle into bowls, and add another dollop of yoghurt before serving.

    Am quite pleased with this as I made it myself! Although I guess that once you know how to make soup, other flavours are just a matter of try it and see....

    Thanks gingembre - I think I must have found it already :) Are you allowed to rejoin faceache again under a "real" name, Prof?

    Is it still only Tuesday?

    xxJeni

  6. At 04:40 PM on 29 Jan 2008, wrote:

    Blimey, a public airing of the clean laundry - that should pop some peas in the jar. If not.....I made a wild concoction of ginseng and vodka - buy the roots slit them with a razor boil for 5 minutes and then leave in vodka for a month. Drink. You will have a wild time and the pea jar will turn into a bean jar and the bean jar will turn into an apple jar and then you can call yourself adam.

    Oh happy days.

    cheers

    Shimmeron

  7. At 04:55 PM on 29 Jan 2008, wrote:

    Peas after marriage? Fewer of them CLP but much better quality!

    Saz

  8. At 04:57 PM on 29 Jan 2008, ChrissieS wrote:

    Hiya Chris,

    Just a wee note to say well done on passing your helicopter test! I heard Sally talking about it last night and you were being quite shy and coy - most unlike you!

    So, clever boy, but please, no flying until we are seeing better weather ..... promise?

    Incidentally, if you think the pea jar is seeing some difficulty since the arrival of Beth, it is NOTHING compared to when one has a baby enter one's life! Poor Mr S had a crazed look on his face for "quite some time" after the arrival of Ms S!! It's been 17 years now, so things are more less back on track!

    C xx

  9. At 05:04 PM on 29 Jan 2008, Prof Plum wrote:

    Oh no it's all gone Pete Tongue on the blog 502 milarky.


    Anyway the blog is all chessey peas thief really.


    Chris just go to Iceland and get a value bag of petit pois.


    Gingembre- does this include full english breakfast.


    Clodagh this is just for you

  10. At 05:12 PM on 29 Jan 2008, Grant wrote:

    Reminds me of the lady who continually had her premises burgled and had the contents of her industrial freezers stolen (namely pies). on the 4th or 5th occasion she decided to russell up some "Special" pies. Sure enough another burgulary this time with some unusual fillings.....

    Cat Food.

    Or take it to the other extreme and add a "Gazza" filling as he did to Jimmi 5 Bellies when in Italy!!!! CLP i am sure he has told you that story?

    G.

  11. At 05:23 PM on 29 Jan 2008, wrote:

    Can't get over this 502 thing. Two errors.... two attempts... two identical (very long) posts!

  12. At 06:09 PM on 29 Jan 2008, Candles wrote:

    Bingo Star, have your astro words of wisdom re Gemini been lost to the great blog in the sky where all failed messages find themselves for eternity? Hope not.... Cx

  13. At 06:49 PM on 29 Jan 2008, clodagh wrote:

    Jaysus Prof. That took me right back to me student days!!!!!

    Hurrah!!!

    Tanks mate.

    Clodagh.xx

  14. At 06:50 PM on 29 Jan 2008, Sarah Wickham wrote:

    Hi Chrissy

    I was just listening to your comments about David Attenborough and I have always thought that he was just the best man in the whole world. Years ago my friend and I used to do the "who would you invite to your fantasy dinner party" game and I always had David Attenborough on my list.

    I have to tell you that I have been listening to you and watching your programmes for years (and not in a weird way - this is the first time I have ever contacted you) and it's been amazing how you've changed so much over the years. I remember pricking up my ears when you started to do the item on your show about a young listener doing something for the first time. That's when I thought "Chris is getting broody, but he doesn't know it yet". Obviously there have been other signs as the years have gone past, but I just know your light is on - you've got Beth the puppy and even though your new wife and you are not putting enough peas in the jar for you at the moment (join the club there!) there will very shortly be the patter of tiny little Evansy feet in your life and you'll suddenly be a fulfilled Lamby Pie. What do you think? Am I right?

    Love and hugs

    Sarahx

  15. At 07:54 PM on 29 Jan 2008, gingembre wrote:

    prof...

    ...room service in the mornings? - you think we'll let you stay all night???????

    ;)
    KWx

  16. At 07:54 PM on 29 Jan 2008, lazykev wrote:

    food thefts....i dont know what to make from it i mean of it.....cris its not the peas in the jar that counts its the size of your pod.......

  17. At 08:33 PM on 29 Jan 2008, Helen Williams wrote:

    Check for footprints in the butter - it may be elephants!

    Tell those pesky thieves I have loads of stilton left in my fridge & I'm on a diet - could they just pop round.....?!

    Love the show....my 6 year old is desperate to "do something for the 1st time" & get on air. We can never get thru!!!

    TTFN
    Hel

  18. At 10:06 PM on 29 Jan 2008, wrote:

    Morning.

    Cold Blast coming in from siberia - or somewhere else cold. Make sure you all have your thermals on. If you don't have thermals - Chaps get your wives tights on under the trousers.

    Take water, flasks, blankets and spades in the car with you.

    Take No Risk,

    and

    STAY AWAY FROM THE BAD PEOPLE

    DWNB

  19. At 10:17 PM on 29 Jan 2008, Anne G wrote:

    Evening each

    Well, If I get 502'ed again, I'm throwing my dummy out of the pram and going to another blog!!

    Bingo: you are seriously unwell. Go to your GP!! immediately. X

    Love

    Anne x

    PS For those who remember the spider conversation, I've got news for you. If this gets through (and that'll be a first) I'll tell you later.

  20. At 11:55 PM on 29 Jan 2008, wrote:

    I used to get my food stolen at uni; god, it was annoying. I'd buy a new bag of chips, use only a handful, and the next day it's missing, hair tie and all! But that was probably down to untrustworthy housemates.

    VaughnJess from Down Under

  21. At 08:56 AM on 30 Jan 2008, hazel love wrote:

    Lawks another Tuesday has slid around like a slidy thing. Bonjour all.

    My speaky-talky thing has gorn on my mobile telephonic device so now no-one can hear me. Most annoying. I am going to try a small experiment a bit later though, once it is again fully charged (bit like your clients Gingembre) I am going to ring myself at work and see if I can hear myself...ach ye ken what I mean!

    Helen, how do you know if you've got an elephant in bed with you?
    He's got an 'E' on his pyjama pocket.

    DWNB, very deep. Very deep indeed. But eminently sensible. It's just damp darn sarf, so nothing new there then.

    Sarah Wickham...I'd start knitting then if I were you!

    ...and you're right Anne G, Bingo SERIOUSLY needs looking after...in a nice padded room...but having said that, I think we all do really...

    belle mardi
    love
    hazel
    x

    Bingo, one for you, an old Tommy Cooper one...pea, jar, jar, pea, pea, jar, jar etc etc

  22. At 09:12 AM on 30 Jan 2008, Elm wrote:

    Hiya

    my hero - Tes Simon - big man in the world of bikes, amazing stories and courage and a really nice guy - I've has the pleasure of meeting him a couple of times and he remembered me the second time!

    For great books, read Jupiters Travels, dreaming of Jupiter and (the one I am reading at the moment) the gypsy withing - or something like that (not great at book titles I'm afraid) - he is amazing.

    TTFN

    Elm x

  23. At 09:15 AM on 30 Jan 2008, James wrote:

    Long Time Lurker, First Time poster...


    The addition of a dog at Chez James has sent pea jar deposits into a spiralling decline..

    I feel your pain...

    J

  24. At 09:16 AM on 30 Jan 2008, RosieRoo wrote:

    Grrr...I keep getting BPed too. They must really have it in for me.

    Anyhoo, just to say I'm off to Glasgow tomorrow with Mr P (Chrissie, got your recommendations in my sweaty little fist) so shall not be around until Monday. Be sure to let me know what the first ARF song is when I get back.

    Have fun all,

    Rosie x

  25. At 10:02 AM on 30 Jan 2008, clodagh wrote:

    Mornin' all.

    Say one for me today won't yous. I'm takin' me mother to Llandudno, sunny but with a light breeze straight from Rekjavik, for the day. 84 and mad as a pint of wasps.

    I shall therefore be on me best behaviour despite provocation of biblical proportion.

    How come this sweet-faced, 4'6" little old lady with bunions, a heart condition and a twinkle in her eye whom everybody loves and thinks is hilarious, can bring out the Lucrezia Borgia in meself and 'ave me fantasisin' about stuffin' 'er in the wheelie bin an' parkin' 'er on the council tip.

    I'm SO never goin' to heaven. Mind you if I go t'other way I'll be meetin' the Dear Departed Daddy and no doubt will be followed in due course by the Genius psychopath daughter.

    Best be off. I can smell warm creosote and this can only mean Renee's made bacon butties without the glasses on again.

    A Bientot.

    Clodagh.xx

  26. At 11:41 AM on 30 Jan 2008, BINGO STAR wrote:

    'appy Valentines Day Ter ALL,

    Bingo Star ere.

    Hazel Love - I recognise that Tommy Cooper joke - it's about using an emergency commode!!!

    Anne G - Whatta yer tryin ter do ter me.... I can't go ter me GP until 6th July but at least the Malaysian GP is on tv on the 16th of March - the first GP of the year then we'll be able ter see what Fisi can do with 'is back of the grid car!!
    I wreckon 'e'll qualify in ...... 12th place!!!!
    Yer 'eard it ere first!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Clodagh - Most pleasing ter see yer back commentationing - I like reading your crazy blogs!!!!!
    PS Me glowing crystal ball tells me termoz iz a special day 4U!!!!!!!!!

    Candles - I've gotta plan i've been thinkin' off ter get around the blog gremilins - i'll spread a reading abit ata time over 3days for the remaining signs.
    Starting with Gemini next week!!!!!

    DWNB - I see you like CLP's advice too - Stay away from the bad people!
    Only probs CLP I only seem ter bump inter the bad ones.... 'ow der yer find the good people? - am still lookin' - know what am sayin'!!!!!

    Talkin' of which, me search for romantic interludes......

    I'll bang me Ukrainian Speed Dating incident on the later blog - ope it shows cos it's abit riskay!!!!!!!!
    BP might ban it!

    Chow!

  27. At 01:06 PM on 30 Jan 2008, wrote:

    I've become a mistaken identity: I don't know how that's managed to happen. One day I'm me, the next day I'm apparently called Jane and have moved to Wales. Hopefully soon me and this Jane lady will become two separate people again and we can continue our separate lives!

    Other than that isn't it a beautiful day. I attacked the little bit of garden left to attack yesterday and it attacked me back by trying to rip open my finger - good grief witch hazel gel stings - but hopefully by late spring/summer it will look glorious and smell good too - lavender and thyme and rosemary, with a good scattering of nasturtiums. Mmmm......

    Happy Hump Day all :D

    xxJeni

  28. At 01:29 PM on 30 Jan 2008, Tinsel wrote:

    Morning all.

    Peas and jars - does the lovely Mrs E the Younger know you're telling us all this?!!?!

    Think yourself lucky to get any peas in the jar at all, my man, that's all I can say. I can only dream of peas in jars in my current single state.

    However, I'm wearing my newest pair of shoes today and I'm feeling rather fab :-), so happy hump day one and all in every sense of the word!

    T xxxx

  29. At 02:32 PM on 30 Jan 2008, hazel love wrote:

    I am going blimmin bonkers and none of you (unless you did but got arrested by the Blog Bs in B) noticed...or you have been too polite to mention it, or maybe you read it in the past tense.

    I was just about to write that I'd had all this yesterday wot with Lord Tel playing Manic Monday and it wuz Choosday, and then I've got Tinsel and Jeni saying 'Happy Hump Day' and I've been convincing m'self that it's Choosday today as well.

    Bingo, any glowing for me in that ball of yours?
    I could do with a small glimmer.

    If only to help me find my way to the end of this week...

    The man from the padded cell company has just arrived
    chow bananas
    love
    hazel
    x

    I hope they have peas in hospital...

  30. At 02:37 PM on 30 Jan 2008, Debbie wrote:

    Hello,

    Chris I'm not sure how having a puppy affects the pea deposits as I don't remember having any problems when Betty was a puppy. However, try having a four year old trying to get in bed between you at every opportunity! Not funny at all. Any suggestions from anyone on trying to get him to stay, or indeed go to sleep at all in his own bed, much appreciated!

    Happy Hump (or maybe not) Day!

    Love
    Debbie xx

  31. At 03:19 PM on 30 Jan 2008, Debbie wrote:

    Very optimistically here, hoping that this message will appear...........

    ............after reading about the possibility of Mr Evans being broody, I wondered does anyone remember the 'baby left, baby right' game on TFI Friday? Basically just had to guess which way the baby would fall. It's not as harsh as it sounds, the baby was on a bed or something!

    Debbie xx

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