OPEN THE DOOR, EAT THE CHOCOLATE, FEEL THE LOVE, IT'S THE FIRST OF THE BEST MONTH IN THE YEAR.
SO HERE IT IS,鈥 MERRY BLAH BLAH,
EVERYBODY鈥橲鈥 BLAH BLAH BLAH,
LOOK TO THE FUTURE,
EVERYBODY鈥橲 HAVING BLAH 鈥LAH鈥..BLAH.
IT鈥橲 CHRISTMAS !!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Don鈥檛 tell me it鈥檚 not because I don鈥檛 wanna鈥 know.
On with the John Denver and the Muppets Christmas album for the second day in a row.
Come on.
Now how about this for the perfect present鈥
Get rid of some stuff. I鈥檓 gonna spend the next couple of hours wardrobing , sorting and charity shop dropping. To feel lighter (in any way) is the best feeling in the world.
Once I鈥檝e finished with ma鈥 clothes, (and I already have a good idea of the ones that are for the chop), it鈥檚 over to the c.d. collection and then a swift but focused attack on the book shelves.
By midday, I will have lost several stone.
Also for the next fortnight, it鈥檚 super healthy living. I mean SUPER HEALTHY, may be even for the next three weeks, (UNTIL THE DAYS START GETTING LIGHTER).
Green tea all the way, loads of fruit, one excellent and delicious meal a day and I鈥檓 waving goodbye to half a stone.
I am determined to say thank you for such a great year by being a good good boy. I already feel better and I haven鈥檛 got out of bed yet.
Come join the band people, we鈥檒l feel fantastic come the Big Day.
Mummy Evans was in her element last night at The Sound of Music. Connie was enchanting and although Lesley Garrett was indisposed her understudy was Climbing Every Mountain with the best of 鈥榚m.
We arrived home at just before eleven, had chicken sarnies and watched C.S.I. I then gave my mum her first experience of Google Earth. We sat up till nearly one o鈥檆lock till we鈥檇 figured out how to make her house the centre of the universe. You start way out in space and then press zoom button until first the world gets closer and then the oceans and then the continents and then Britain and then Guildford and then there we are in Ma Evans back garden. Wonderful stuff, my mum couldn鈥檛 stop giggling, 鈥淚sn鈥檛 it marvellous ?鈥 she smiled.
Brekkie, brekkie, brekkie.
This weekend we start selling our Christmas trees. One hundred per cent of the sale price goes to CHASE HOSPICE for CHILDREN in Surrey. Non drop, Nordman furs, the Rolls Royce of Christmas trees though far better for the environment.
Defo., opening the show tonight with The Muppets and John Denver. Somebody try to stop me.
Love peace and yes IT IS
CHRISTMAS.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Comments
A pinch and a punch 'n' all that ...... Happy December 1st!!
Can't wait for Christmas this year - finish work on 20th and don't come back til 9th Jan - hurrah!
you go for it Christoph - I for one, won't be stopping you!!
Many felicitations it's December!!!
The countdown has started... I can open my advent choccie and not feel guilty and it's only 4 sleeps till my last birthday in my Flirty Thirties!!! I'm off to the company do tonight with the lodger and Mum did a great job of adjusting the frock last night.
I only wish I could come buy a Christamas tree from you but it's a long way from Warwickshire... I'll make it my mission to find a charitable trust to buy mine from up here. I love decorating the tree, just a shame the bears always want to help and i normally end up chasing round trying to get the baubles back from baby-bear Booboo who thinks they're shiny new toys to play with.
Ok peeps, time to work. Have a great all request Friday I'll be listening on my way to the "DO".
Happy hangover tomorrow and I'll try to be healthy after the 5th I promise.
Luv
Lynda
-x-x-x-
Good Morning Christophe,
Opened my calander this morning and had a cutie penguin with a present. I'm like you I love Christmas and the run up to it.
I did my good dead last weekend I took all my evening dresses that I can't get into to the Charity shops. Even though at the time it broke my heart once there I felt very humble the lady at the shop was in a wheelchair and she gave the impression that I had just give her a winning lottory ticket.
Putting up the decorations today at work just to get everyone in the mood!!! Brought the Christmas cd in with me Dean Martin, Ella Fitzgerald, Tony Bennett just to name a few.
Looking forward to the show tonight!!!
Cheers
V.
Go for it Chris - I won't get in your way xx Can't promise that I will join you because I don't like to break promises :-) Too many nights out in December to be good....... xx I love December too xx
I will join you in having a clear out, good time of year to do it for the charity shops xx
I'm pleased Mummy Evan's had a good evening xx
Happy Christmas tree selling xx
Lots of love
Mary xx
Happy Christmas then! Although I must say that as a mother in an increasingly busy household, the 1st December doesn't actually fill me with glee. I love it when you finally get to Christmas morning, but on 1st December I am thinking, big lists, serious organisation and finding money from Father Christmas or someone to pay for the whole thing..........
Meanwhile it is actually the 1st and I need to go and organise the advent calendar ........ quickly.
Have a great day!
Sally
Morning Christophe and all bloggers!!
Have to buy my advent calendar today, haven't got one yet!!
So glad you had such a lovely time with your mum last night.
Chase Children's Hospice - FANTASTIC place!!
Have a look at their website if you want to know more ... chasecare.org.uk
We had our office party last night - saw a few people in a new light!!!!
Have a great weekend everyone
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Was too sleepy this morning to remember to open my advent calendar, but at least now I have a choccy to look forward to when I get home!
Oh Happy Day!
Love, mistletoe and wine,
JF x
morning everyone!
It is official we can now get excited about christmas!
Like Chris I am too on a health kick until the big day!
I got my pay rise yesterday and today all feels wee with the world once more!
What do you all prefer Christmas home or abroad?????
Personally I am all for christmas at home cosy and full of fun and family!
em26xx
Chris (and fellow commentators)
Starting early this morning! I was going to say I don't feel at all Christmassy because I have such a tough year, but you know what, I am going to join in! Yes, bring it on! I will try to get in the mood, even though I think the expense and energy that's put in for one day, is insanse!
Don't know John Denver and the Muppets, and I'll miss the start of the show, but have fun anyway. Certainly it's time to dig out my Muppet Christmas Carol video - love it. Michael Cain is fantastic in it!
So, I'm going along with you this morning Chris and there's a lot to look forward to as this month I turn the big 5-0 (on the 12th, same birthday as Frank Sinatra - that's my claim to fame!). Much as I wish I was 34 again, I just have to face it!
Have a great day everyone.
C xx
I am absolutely convinced that clutter is the gateway to misery and disorganisation - I have a chuck out of the wardrobe/bookshelves/CD pile/crockery etc. at least once every few months and it makes you feel so much more in control of everything.
Of course, the upside is more room in the wardrobe for new purchases......
I think its my retentive Virgoan ways that makes me want to do this - I CAN'T STAND mess!!
Love the radio show, listen every night on my way back from work at Worthing Hospital - especially the kids fanfare - it makes me smile every time!
XX
I love Xmas......made my Xmas puddings 2 weeks ago and my first batch of mince pies last night.
Am knee deep in Xmas trees as I work for the Forestry Commission.
Anyone got any advice on coping with 15 year old moody teenagers as I'm rapidly getting to the end of the line!! Tried being understanding (but hell what do I know - I was born this age and boring), tried being strict, tried the gentle art of persuasion................HELP!!
Chris - looking forward to hearing the Muppets tonight - what about playing Lydia the tatooed lady!
Love n stuff
Claire xxxxxx
Happy December!!!!! One and All.
Hey - Christof. Leesin to de Franch Laydeee. Eat what you want sensibly. None of this faddy eating. Silly Boy!
Is All Request Friday, and I really want to hear Wham Rap, so will someone ask for it for me please, cause I am always driving home from work..... and I nearly crashed the last time I tried to phone on the way home. So now I drive with the phone on the back seat so I can't reach it.
I'm having a half day today. So excited. My daughter [bless] is playing in her first volleyball tournament, and my husband and I have taken a half day to go and watch her. She has no idea.. .she will be sooooo excited when she see's us. I'm so excited to be going to see her. Her big brother is having a prelim exam so he isn't quite as excited today, but he's going away camping tonight so he excited about that. He's jambouree'ing with the Scouts next year so they keep havin wee practise runs.
Anyways folks. Have a lovely Friday, and the BEST weekend Every. I'm having a Saturday night ALONE with my man. First time in Ages. I can't WAIT.
DWNB
PS - Thanks to Lindylou and Susan for visiting me on my web page...and signing my guest book, that made me extra exciting.
pps Hazel Love - hope you are not feeling the effects of yesterday.
ppps moose - Hows the Motorbike dreams?
pppps Christof - are you selling Nordic Firs?
Chris,
given today's news that the Government are considering charging the motorist to 'use the country's roads' by means of paying a toll, are we not already being charged for that dubious pleasure? The Government takes money from the motorist with duty on fuel, VAT on fuel, annual car tax and tax on vehicle insurance, their cut of the MOT and VAT on servicing and VAT on the numerous other essentials such as tyres. How much more do they want?
Now a question to out fox The Fox. How much revenue does the treasury collect per annum from motorists from the above and how much does it cost the average motorist per annum.
Alec
Chris (tmas)
Seasons greetings to you too.
I love it now we can officially 鈥榞et in the mood鈥.
Tried to play Christmas songs last weekend and it just didn鈥檛 work, but I know that when I pop 鈥楥hristmas With Nat & Dean鈥 into the machine tonight 鈥楲et it Snow鈥 will ring out around Rudgwick loud and proud.
Things I love about Christmas;
Satsumas
Long walks wearing daft hats to keep your ears warm and not caring how silly you look
Putting the tree up
Putting the other tree up (one just isn鈥檛 enough)
A Nightmare Before Christmas
Mrs Myrtleberry鈥檚 Roast 鈥 The best veggie Christmas dinner
Wrapping presents really badly 鈥 I just can鈥檛 do it
Champagne cocktails
24 days to go......24 days to go.......
Peace all.
You can't beat the Muppets Chris. You sound in good cheer today.
I like your idea of going through your stuff, clothes, cd's etc. Very good for the soul I should imagine. Thing is, I'm rubbish at doing that.
Our house is overflowing with books that I can't bring myself to put in the loft, never mind throw away!!!
Christmas without the muppets is like Christmas without NEOPOLITAN choccies!!!!! Unthinkable.
My quest to find them is still in full swing and so far spectacularly unsuccessful. Doh!!!
Help anyone?
Hooray for Christmas nearing.
What I want to know is which charity shops are you taking your clothes to.....
:)
Chris, please don't open the show with the Muppets, as I'll miss it! I don't leave work until 5.30. Please wait til the end! I beg you!
This is the first Xmas in years I'm looking forward to - why? becuase I'm off to Kerala in Southern India. Hoorah!
Talking of Christmas music ... what on earth have Debenhams done to 'Santa Baby' on their 2006 crimmy ad? ?? It's awful!! Bring back the original, I say!
Advent openings will be tonight as hubby was up and out by 5.30 am and I was still asleep. We play 'guess the picture' on the advent calendar. this year's calendar is quite arty-farty - we got it in Liberty when we spent a weekend in the big bag (exciting) city in October. Also got an advent calendar for the cat as we don't like her to miss out on the fun! x x
Yes it's the 1st December. We tested our Christmas lights last night. We're not usually this early, or for me organised at all but we have the lads arriving on Wednesday and we want it all to look Christmassy for them. Just a pity there won't be any snow methinks.
Happy Friday everyone,
Lynne x
Is it Friday yet...is it Decmber yet....
My kids have been counting down the days till December 1st, as that's when their advent calenders start.
Really enjoyed "Keith the Cricket"on last nights show. He was awesome, although I don't think you gave him long enough between the kettle boiling, for him to drink enough water.
You should take him on your tour of the UK. He'll be invaluable, if you ever have any awkward silences, you can simply prod "Keith the Cricket" and he'll be off. Just make sure he has his water .
Wonderful show, superb.
Oh bloggy, oh bloggah, oh blog on.
Good luck with the trees.
Big Bad Bern
Morning all,
I don't have an advent calendar :-(
But I do have a candle. I will be burning it down past number 1 this evening.
Don't think it's cold enough to feel like December though.
Lots of love
J x
Good morning, Happy Advent. And happy birthday to any birthday people - I'm losing track of whose is when.... one of those senior moments.
Tee hee, it's good to be celebrating amidst the rain-clouds! Preparing for resurgence, new beginnings and new resolutions. Let's start all over again!
What a grear idea, Chris, to lighten your soul by having a good old clear-out. Seems logical that we can reflect our living space as well as vice versa, and what could make more sense than to be a bit minimalist. How ridiculous is it that we (I at least!) hold on to hundreds of CDs - and even cassette tapes in my case - that we'll never have time to listen to again, even if we want to?!!! Much better to move on, and move THEM on to someone who hasn't yet experienced the music, or had these clothes or whatever.
Takes me back to student days when I remember feeling so thankful that I had so few possessions that I'd be able to pack them up in a box and move on whenever I wanted to. No need for a removal lorry in those days. What on earth have I let myself become since? Encumbered not only with my own things (happy to share them around with others of course) but also those of the rest of my big family.
Have resolved to take up the call to action on the food front too. Will lay off the 'mange tout' for now and 'mange PEU'.
Isn't GOOGLE EARTH so amazing? Maybe it could help me find my dog on the odd occasions when she decides to explore the forest tracks on her own.
Sounds like a great night with Mum, CLP, you obviously love each other's company. BTW hope you enjoy Casino Royale as much as I did this week. It's the business!
Working at home today - hurrah! Can get more involved with the blogster action.
Hugs and stuff. xx000000xxxx00000xxx and some ** for Christmas
Morning Chris and bloggers!
I鈥檓 with you all the way on the healthy eating. I'm going to the gym straight from work and no chicken Kebabs for me this weekend!
Couldn't get onto the blog yesterday, access denied by my work! Were there any rude words on there?
I'm feeling festive and excited! Only 2 weeks till I jet off to Egypt for Christmas. I've been learning the Salsa so we can dance the night away to Foot Loose (was singing my little heart out to Wogan this morning on the way to work) on our cruise ship!
Hope you all have a happy Friday! Stick with the health eating, think long term and it gets you through the weak moments!
Em xx
#8 Em26 - I entirely agree, home for Christmas, cold outside but snug inside and quality family time :-) Uni term just finished so I'm off home on Sunday and really looking forward to it :-) Am going abroad for a bit though, back to France where I spent most of last year to visit friends and help them prepare for Christmas (am looking forward to putting up the decorations!), but then definitely back home for the rest of the holidays, enjoying Mum's good food :-D
Happy December everyone!!
Love Hannah
Mornin' all
Christoph, my liege, any chance of John Denver's Calypso song tonight - pretty pleeeese?! xx
I love John Denver and saw him in concert twice in the 80s with my mum & dad - like him or not, he had a superb voice. I was brought up on country and classical and can listen to JD's Calypso Song and Jussi Bjoerling & Robert Merrill's duet from "The Pearl Fishers" back to back without flinching!!!
I've recently moved house and got rid of about eight bin liners full of clothes, CDs and books, which I split between three charity shops. Don't you feel great and so much lighter?!
I finished wrapping my Christmas pressies last night an hour before we tipped over into December - me feeling a bit smug now!!
No update from NZ on my niece so fingers crossed she's home for the weekend. Brother & family live in Devonport which is about 30 mins drive from mainland Auckland - what a beautiful place that is - and with three other children to look after, aged 1, 3 and 7, they've got their hands full!!!
Won't be able to listen to the show tonight as it's my work's 'do' straight after work at 5pm, but will be with you all in spirit.
Have a wonderful weekend
jillygoat xx
morning all.
please not the absence of Good in the above statement.
whilst I sincerely hope you are all having a good one I am not. So I'm going to moan then I am going to go away and leave you in peace
Christmas meal last night for the team. Great fun was had by all. Having made the original decision to drive home and not drink, the weather conspired against me; warnings of 70mph winds and driving rain on a fifty mile journey through the hills left me with the decision to stay with a friend from work instead.
So I packed up my little bag. Bid goodbye to partner and son and told them I would see them in a day - leaving choccy advent calendars for them both to joyfully welcome in the beginning of the Christmas season.
Still thought "I won't drink much." But I forgot because I don't get out much my limit for feeling fine the next day is half a bottle of wine (not much I know but call me half pint emma and watch me nod my head). I had a bottle of wine + 1 glass (interspersed with plenty of water). Stayed up til half past one talking to the kind people who had let me stay and then fell into bed to sleep. I say sleep but I use the term lightly. I slept a bit then woke up. slept a bit more then woke up. Desperate for the loo but didn't want to disturb anyone so tossed and turned and tossed and turned. Woke up at my normal time of 6.10am and then managed to hold on till 7.10 before launching into the shower.
In work by 8am. Pointless exercise. Today I will achieve little more than nothing. My tongue is so furry it feels like i could do with borrowing Barry Scotts Cilit Bang to clean it off. My brain is floating about a foot above my head (its up there I'm sure of it). And I look like Dennis Healy. Want to be in my bed. With a good book.
Am really cross with myself because I LOVE Christmas I LOVE the beginning of it all - we planned to put the Chrissy decorations up later/tomorrow accompanied by cheesy christmas hits, including my FAVOURITE one on repeat at least five times (I said what it was earlier this week so am not saying again - but would love to do a survey as following discussions with friends 9/10 people like that one best- be interesting to find out if that is reflective of the population). But am cross because right now I feel all weak and woosy and yucky and I've spoilt the day for myself.
Moan moan moan moan and more moan
Chris I will have to join you on your health kick so that I can recover for Christmas Day; when I will probably start all over again.
In any case I've done what I said I would and moaned a lot so am going now to leave you all to comfort and joy and peace and also to say I hope you have a WONDERFUL DAY and for anyone going out on a christmas do tonight... think about tomorrow....
love and furry tongues.
Em SK
btw I bought the Elmo from Sesame Street - laughing toy 10th anniversary - it laughs and laughs when you tickle it - its so funny!
I love the Muppets so much! Wish they were still on TV, they were good family entertainment. I still like to drum like Animal when a good drummy tune comes on the radio - and yes I did used to have eyebrows like him when I was younger!
;-)
Hey all pinch punch and all that!
I have banned myself from being excited about Christmas for another 2 weeks, by that time Mum, Dad and I will be in New Zealand. I have lots to get through before then so not thinking about it.
Will be very strange this year, no tree, only a few pressies, but will be amazing we have a huge amount of family out in NZ so will get to meet cousins who I have never met before and best of all will get to catch up with my sister who is meeting us there, she has been off travelling for a few months now! So all in all if I let myself get sucked into the excitement I wouldn't show up for work for the next 2 weeks, and would sit in my house with my case packed absolutely beside myself!
Off to one of my mums hen nights later on, should be great fun! Hopefully all request friday will get me in the mood!!
Have a great weekend all!
XX
rE cHRISTMAS sONgs
my mate has been emailing me Christmas songs for 13 days now. She's hoping to have enough to keep me going til Christmas Eve.
Today was Slade, Merry Christmas, but my favourite so far was Luther Van Dross, Have Yourself A Merry LIttle Christmas.
I've also got a very nice traditional version of Santa Baby, much better than that silly advert!
DWNB
Thank you for opening the show on Wednesday with "Bring me sunshine" by the brilliant Morecombe & Wise. It made me smile all the way home and for a few hours after!
The boys were Genius's and it certainly revived a load of memories of their fantastic Christmas shows.
More Please!!
Claire #11,
It's a nightmare, I agree. My daughter will be 16 in March and of course she thinks she's an adult. It's very very difficult trying to reason with her because her hormones are all over the place. We do have a wonderful relationship most of the time. But ..... the rest of the time - oh it's so hard not to lose it completely.
Do you have a boy or girl? No experience with boys I'm afraid but certainly with my daughter I try to see it from her point of view. Being 15 is the pits.
So far we've been lucky - there's been no staying out late, no crazy drinking (she does have half a glass of wine with us for Sunday dinner and I know her and her pals have a beer on a Friday night - she has told me this). Also she doesn't want to smoke as she has seen half of our family die from the effects.
We have such a long way to go (and you do too!) but I would say just try to weather the storm and go with the flow, but of course you have to be the boss at all times!
I have been no help whatsoever - so I'm dying to hear what our friends out there (who've been through it) have to say!
C xx
Happy Advent to one and all,
Have to agree with you Chris, on so many levels...
December is definitely the best time to be virtuous on food and exercise. A couple of years ago I lost 5 kg during the first 3 weeks of December. Made me feel good in itself. What made it feel even better was that everyone else is stuffing themselves full of rubbish and drinking way too much. Had I done the same, I would have put on a few kgs. So the real weight loss was even more. THEN, over Christmas you eat less because:
a) you've trained yourself to eat less
b) you don't want to undo the good work
If you try to lose weight in January, you feel like one of the crowd, the gym gets full with "resolutioners" who you never see again after Feb 1st, and it's so hard to get motivated. If you are just continuing your great December, it's a lot easier.
Break the mould, go against the flow!!! Follow the way of the moose...
Decluttering is great, and again, if you give to charity, it's another double whammy! I cleared out my wardrobe a few weeks ago, gave sackfuls to the charity shop and feel great about it.
French woman's principles are also good...compares very closely with Paul McKenna's approach, if anyone knows it. Have been doing it for 3 weeks now, and my clothes are hanging off me...a great chance for even more decluttering in the wardrobe!
I guess she won't be on today, here's hoping that Hazel Love's hangover isn't too bad so that she fully enjoys her weekend's "entertainment".
DWNB - still dreaming. If I get the new job, I think a helicopter will be more in order.
Here's hoping that all the December birthday people are spared the curse of the joint birthday-Christmas present.
Oh, and one last piece of advice...for a triple whammy December...
...open the advent calendar each day yourself for the thrill of what it is (strike 1)
...give the chocolate to someone else to make their day (strike 2)
...you didn't eat it yourself (strike 3)
Celebrate with a satsuma or a mug of green tea, whichever you prefer...or both if you want!!!
And always say no to the first chocolate when the tin/box is passed around...they are like muffins...you're going to want another one, and another, until they are all gone. And then you'll want to buy another tin/box.
The Moose
PS For those not in the know..."If you give a moose a muffin..." is a children's book and explains two things. My name and my shape.
oh...and I don't get the Muppets either...
Moose
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby looking homeless woman who asked her for a few pounds for dinner.
The woman took out her purse, extracted twenty pounds and said if I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner? "No" said the homeless woman, "I gave up drinking years ago."
"Will you use this money to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked. "No, I don't waste my time shopping", the homeless woman said "I spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this at a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked. "Are you crazy?" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't been to a beauty salon in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money, i'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and myself" The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be cross with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell"
The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine"
24 Sleeps to go
24 Sleeps to Santa
24 Sleeps till the big fat fella, comes down your chimney, and brings you presents and drinks your beer
24 sleeps to Santa!!!!
White Rabbits to one and all!
Good on you Chris for trying, but for me, too many Xmas functions to be that good!
In the process of prepping to move house on the 18th December, and then have Mrs DD's family for Christmas day! Panic, moi! Too true!!
So weekends are currently as busy as the week, but in a different way. Still am hoping to get 2 hours 49 minutes too ourselves and Danny Craig this weekend, Dum diddle um dumdum, dumdum dum diddle umdum dum dum dum!
DD out!
Morning bloggers,
First thanks Chris for the mention on the show (Blush, blush, blush) I am was driving home laughing out loud :-)) I am sure the 26 year old (whose name you omitted) had a good birthday as I see she said good night with a post after 7am this morning :-) unfortunately I was given the wrong address for the Gorillagram so I was left embarrassed, dressed in fur in a strange town! :-( I do not think it spoilt her enjoyment so hey ho!
I am pleased that you and your mom enjoyed the sound of music last night. I plan to go to London and see a show over the festive period with the family. Do not know which one yet we may wait for the last minuet and get tickets from Leicester Square ticket booths and see what is on offer ;-)
Warning I will be back!
Keith
x
P.S after a very thirsty Thursday how many of you used the Beer scooter to get home? In case you are wondering this is how it works鈥︹︹..
How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night drinking and thought 鈥楬ow on earth did I get home?鈥 As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the pub to your house.
The answer to this question is that you used a Beer Scooter.
The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to the drunk by Bacchus the Roman God of Wine. Bacchus has acquired a large batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in the following fashion;
The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the 鈥淪lurring Gland鈥 begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Beer Scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a trans-dimensional portal. This is not cheap to run, so a large amount of the passengers in pocket cash is taken as payment. This answers the second question after a night out, 鈥楬ow did I spend so much money?鈥
Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries), such as skinned knees and a sore spot on the top of your head.
An undocumented feature of the Beer Scooter is the destruction of time segments during the trip. The nature of trans-dimensional portals dictates that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for.
This answers the third question after a night out 鈥榃hat the hell happened?鈥
With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of Embarrassing Moments In Time) add-on, which automatically removes, in descending order, those parts of the night regretted most. Unfortunately one person鈥檚 REMIT is not necessarily the REMIT of another鈥檚 and quite often-lost time is regained in discussions over a period of time. Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the scooter鈥檚 navigation system to malfunction thus sending passengers to the wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences.
For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked from other people鈥檚 gardens and Thump-A-Lot boots (patent pending). These boots are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip toe up the stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the house and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins.
The final add on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is the TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can apparently smoke 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night.
P.S. Don鈥檛 forget the on board heater, which allows you to get home comfortably in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt.
I missed Bring Me Sunshine on Wednesday.
Christof, Did you play it, cause I sung it to you on Tuesday?
Hey - on my web page is a clip of me singing "oh the weather outside is frightful", maybe you'd like to hear that.
I'm off now. 1043, and I haven't done a stroke of work.....
DWNB.
Luv Ya All!
A Christmas allegory about a Moose!
Moose - another good reason for you being called Moose, I think, is the fantastic Dr Seuss book called 'Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose'. All sorts of creatures set up home in his antlers and he goes on smiling, despite the clutter they are making, because he believes 'A moose above all must be good to his guests'. At the end, of course, in the natural order of things, he sheds his antlers and moves on!
Just like all the bloggers who have or are resolved to shed some of the unnecessary load.
More hugs and stars {{{{{ }}}}} Jill ****
Chris :
Good to hear mummy E had a great time last night with you and that you have enlightened her of the tinternet Google earth is the best she will now not be able to leave it alone.Hope the Christmas tree sale goes well and you raise a lot of money for the hospice.Good to hear what you are starting the show with have a good weekend fellow bloggers
TGIF
Where's bigun. I NEED the daily joke. Come out, come out whereever you are. Have the blog police carted you off??
Ding dong merrily....
Morning campers!
Last night was my ultimate night. My new friends in Bath have slowly come to realise that I am infact Santa's Little Helper and that Christmas is hugely special to me..but last night I was at my peak! Round one was a cheeky glass of Rioja before wrapping up in christmassy winter scarves and gloves and walking into Bath towards the Abbey...Round two was the switching on of the Christmas lights!...Round three - the first day of the Christmas Market, complete with carousel!!! I was so excited!
Christmas is so magical and means so much to me that it can bring me to tears sometimes.
I LOVE IT!
Do you think a lucky lady will find Chris Evans in their stocking this year? I wish!
Oh Chris - was in Waterstones yeaterday and saw a couple of 'Complete AGA guides' - thought of you - has recipes and all kinds!
Happy 1st day of Advent kids!
S x
Good Morning
I know I can always rely on you to be excited about Christmas and its always been the case.
I'm so excited being a big fan of the muppets as soon as I saw them mentioned I was on the internet, and I've ordered my copy, but its coming all the way from America and I've got to wait 10-14 days! How will I cope!!! Still I'm off to Woolies to buy my new Muppet Christmas Carol DVD as I havent got a video anymore.
I'm not a big ebay user, but was surprised at how aggressive I felt when a fantastic Christmas CD was snatched from me in the last seconds of an item by somebody called Eileen, its just not fair, still I stick with my Andy Williams album and relive my childhood.
Happy Christmas, I'm going up-market this year and buying a Nordman non-drop - I cant wait :-)
xx
ps - You're Mum sounds great
pps - happy whistling
Today, 1st December I am officially all Christmased up. I cant wait for the big day this year. For several reasons. I am a week overdue to give birth to my second baby so by the happy day I will have had my baby and be able to have a small glass of the falling over water, which I have dutifully abstained from for 9 months. Secondly, as I have had loads of time waiting for my overdue baby, I have bought a second Xmas tree and a load of new decs and lights and cant wait to be a bling monster and have an obscene amount of Xmas decs in my house. Thirdly, I have a 5 year old and it is just magical to watch how excitied they are about Father Christmas and it makes you see Christmas through the eyes of a child and its much better. Season greetings to one and all. Liz XX
Merry December one and all.
Chris... Thankyou for playing "What Car" by Sir Cliff last night. I'm far too young to know it really but I sang along at the top of my voice with a very big smile on my face. I LOVE YOUR SHOW!!!!!!
I think it's great to have a good clearout at this time of year. Is it bad that I fill up all that empty space by shopping in the sales? I remember a teacher at school (who is Scotish) told us that in Scotland it's tradition to have a good clear out and clean and tidy the house on New Years Eve - so that everything is in order for the new year. I don't know if that really is the case in Scotland but i've tried to do the same ever since and it's quite nice to start the year a fresh.
At what point do you all start thinking about resolutions? I've given up smoking already and I'm already trying to shift the pounds as i'm getting married next year. I managed to stop biting my nails this year too. (Had to keep having fibreglass extensions and eventually broke the habit) I'm starting a new job in a couple of weeks so I can't go changing that in the new year. So what resolution should I make? Maybe i'm getting to old to make any.
The shops have been filled with Xmas stuff since September but when does Mistletoe appear? Who came up with idea of kissing under the the Mistletoe anyway? Bet it was some ugly person.
I'm off to get some work done. xxxx
I really am not looking forward to Christmas this year :(
Not only will I not see my kids again (ex wife barred my access yet again and can't get a court date until January!), but we can't even afford to get away this year :(
Last year we had a wonderful two weeks with our friends in Gettysburg PA in the USA, and was hoping to raise the money to go again this year, but it wasn't to be.
Christmas at home is never as much fun as spending it with your friends and family and for Penny and I, it tends to be the most depressing time of the year.
So roll on 2007!
Ross Hemsworth
BigUn #36 - I have used the Beer Scooter on many occasion. In fatc your whole post is very reminiscecnt of many a night out of mine.....have you been following me???
Hazel Love - don't know if you've surfaced yet but I hope you had a lovely evening.
Lotsa love all
J x
Jill,
Looks like I'm going to have to get down to the gym this afternoon and get working on the neck and shoulder muscles...
Plenty of room an the antlers! Come aboard!
Not sure of the name Thidwick though...it makes you think of something not altogether complimentary...not quite sure what...but it's not nice.
Still, apparently with moose, the bigger the antlers, the bigger the xxxxxxxxx.
The Moose
PS Blog Police - please do not confiscate, the missing word is "heart"...why, what were you thinking???
Bah Humbug!
Best month of the year? How?? I dont think so Chris!
Bloody freezing, pitch black dark (go to work its dark, leave work its dark!), and all my friends and family seem to have a birthday in December... its going to cost me a bloody fortune this month
And dont even get me started on office parties and secret santas!
Morning all...
That has truely kicked it off for me...
Christmas really is here... Fabulous!
Any ideas where Christophe sells his trees as I think it would be great to do my bit for charity and buy a tree from him!
I'm reallu looking forward to christmas this year as its my first with my beautiful girlfriend... It will be different as we are spending it with her family in Sheffield which I love... The North is the new south!
Have a superb day... Off at 1pm for work do in newquay for the weekend... nice one!
Oh no. I'm a very bad person. Is there any hope for me? Or am I on the way to hell!!!
On the way to work i brought my 5 year old a advent calendar, but i have just eaten all the chocs, they were just to tempting, now i will have to stop on my way home and get her another one.
Can't wait till Sunday, taking my daughter and her friend on a steam train, on which Santa will be, apparently he walks up and down the train giving out presents.
My girl not to fussed about it at the moment, but i can't wait.
Hi Chris, thanks for another great show last night, it was nice to hear Kiki Dee again. You asked her about her name and she thought it didn't mean anything; well, my wife's called Kiki (her real name), she's from Zimbabwe and in Shona 'Kiki' means 'a small but precious thing', which sums her up.
Keep on whistling while you work,
John B (Lorraine's dad).
Chris - my mum's birthday is Boxing Day and I've taken her to West End shows in the past as her pressie - we've seen some wonderful shows and it's been "our" time, just mum and me - very special memories in the old memory bank. So pleased you had a lovely time with your mum - aren't mums just the best?!
Have just ordered my very first organic veg-box and it's being delivered on Wednesday - I'm very excited!!! The lovely thing about it is that the spuds will still have the earth on them, the carrots will be completely non-uniform in shape and the veggies should smell like they used to, sans chemicals!!
If I'm impressed - and I think I will be - I'm going to order a fruit box as well. Just think, I won't have to fight in the supermarket for the last few sprouts before Christmas!
jillygoat xx
Am i the ONLY one who hates XMAS
It is overhyped and come the afternoon of the 25th most people are sleeping off a huge dinner before waking up to think how do i tell XX i don't like what they have bought me
And all this peace and goodwill to men, why not do this all year round, why not but your nearest and dearst gifts when they least suspect they will get them , why be forced to shell out for one day
Why not go to church through out the year rather than once a year
Overhyped and depressing
Sorry but I said I would be back!
Cheryl #1 Pinch punch, LOL, Mrs B and I did that at 6am this morning when the radio reminded us it was the first of the month, how childish :-)))
I agree with the de-cluttering thingy as I often look through my wardrobe and think that will not fit me any more鈥..off to the charity shop with you :-( I have a sister who is the manager for the local hospice shop so she gets all of our family鈥檚 unwanted goods鈥.so me putting on weight is all for a good cause :-)
I see moose lost 5kg in three weeks a few years a go, well I thought I had lost 20 pounds a few weeks ago :-( but it is OK because I remembered I spent it in the Chinese takeaway so phew it is alright :-) just thought I would tell you it made me feel better that I had not lost it at all! :-)
Moose, good luck with the job, I put in an application two weeks ago and have not heard anything yet. I was thinking off ringing them to just to see, you know, put my mind at rest, what do you think? Good idea?
Keith
x
P.S. As it is Friday and we all need cheering up as the weekend is just about here another little joke for you to keep you going and smiling till Monday :-)))
The Dam
An elderly man in North Queensland owned a large property. He had a dam in the next paddock, fixed up nice - picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some mango and avocado trees. The dam was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the dam, as he hadn't been there for a while, to look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the dam, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his dam. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the dam naked.
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the crocodile."
Moral: Old men might walk slow, but they can still think fast.
Merry Christmas Chris
I am feeling festive already. the 1st Dec has cheered me up no end. LOVE seeing all the Christmas lights outside shops etc. its sooooo exciting.
Love and hugs Flo xxxx
MERRY CHRISTMAS CHRIS AND EVERYBODY!
I love it I love it I love it!
Today I feel sparkly and wonderful and shiny because Christmas it here!
I gave my partner a pressie this morning; an advent calendar. He's never had one before - EVER.
The look on his face, and the delight when he opened the door will stay with me for far longer than the customary 24 days.
Peace, love and goodwill to all men. Remember, you are NEVER too old....
Much love
Claire
Aargh, I'm trying not to think about it yet. My hubby has been off work (dodgy knee) for a year and funds are a bit strapped so it's too scary to think about for now.
Had a nice call from mummy dearest this morning though saying she wanted to 'cancel' crimbo this year cos she's just moved house and is also feeling the pinch, so that's a load off (good old mam!!!)
Besides, it's all about sharing love, not tinsel and so I'm going to try and focus on that this year. Helping out a loved one by doing odd jobs etc (ie, the gift of time [saving]) is one way of getting that inner glow. Ugh, I sound very twee, but there you are, that's what happens when a lack of dosh addles your brain...
Happy Yuletide anyway, but I'm gonna have to put my head back in the sand now. Loadsa love, Jonahwood xxx
Chris,
So where can we get these trees? I love the idea of selling them on behalf of a Charity. Normally I don't buy a tree but in this case I'll go outta my way to get one. Please post a web address of give us a cluey.
You asked yesterday if a Quiz is Quizzical what's a Test, well in my case quite Testy. This leads on to Question which might be Questionable. Would Test be Testicle ? :-) Sorry Testical
Chas
Yippee am very excited and husband keeps looking at me sideways as if he may have maade a huge mistake with me! but I love it!!!!!
anyhow - on a more serious note, last year we visisted some friends that had a papier mache father christmas mobile (just his head) and all the bits were linked together and my husband wants to make one at work...does anyone know how cos I can't find anything remotely like it on line?
many thanks and happy crimblings to all
-x-
Hi Chris,
Cant wait till christmas, this guy I work with said there was no such thing as Father Christmas and he upset me a bit but I know there is so I am not bothered.
Brilliant whistling the other night by the way, am I the only bloke who cant whistle at all!
Anyway I have worked out which stairs creak and am redy for Christmas now
December, it even smells different. A whole new energy has taken over the house. The wife is whistling chrissy tunes, the kids are smiling a crazy smile and they are even looking forward to seeing "mad" Auntie Ena who will make her annual pilgramage to our abode for Chrismas dinner. It takes military precision to organise the collection of M.A.E. and my mum. I have a pick up truck you see and trying to get the two of them into it is quite a feat, but I will do it. Iv'e worked it out that I spend approximately two hours and twenty minutes just fetching and carrying them and they only live two miles away. But I'm not moaning, far from it, it's all part of the deal. As much as they protest about coming round and how we should have a nice quiet day on our own, I know they look forward to it from the previous Boxing Day and it gives me the most enormous pleasure to watch them watch the kids enjoy the day.
I just hope my kids have taken note of just what the Christmas spirit is all about and remember to come and pick the old man up from the pub when they are doing the family thing.
I trust you will all be doing the same with your very own Mad Auntie Ena's.
Hello all
'Tis the season to be charitable, for sure. Well done Chris for taking the time and effort. Speaking of charity....did you get my book-of-the-blog yet?
Dr Booth rang to tell me that a cake-bake has been happening at his place of work in Cambridge. I'm not one for cakes myself, after a nasty incident where Denise (my shy but sincere receptionist) attempted to bake the entire staff a Christmas cake a couple of years ago. We had no idea at the time that she cannot cook to save her life, and eagerly looked forward to tucking in.
Denise was so eager to please that she made the cake three months in advance. We didn't think to say anything, as anyone who makes a cake will know that Christmas cakes taste a lot better when left to mature. What we didn't think to ask her is where she was leaving the cake when she had baked it.
It was agreed that the the cake would be eaten at the staff Christmas party on the 14th December. Denise was beaming as she brought out the cake, and proudly set it on the table. Dolores had bought some Lancashire cheese (which everyone knows is THE perfect cheese for Christmas cake), and we all began to salivate in anticipation.
I first thought something might be wrong when the cake was unwrapped. Instead of a nicely iced cake with ribbon and plastic Christmas figures we were presented with a dark-brown/black lump of some cake-like substance that smelt distinctly alcoholic.
'Tuck in Dr McCrumble', said Dolores, puffing her chest out with pride and holding out a large knife so that I could make the first incision. I looked at her in slight consternation, then back at the cake, then at Dolores, then back at the cake, then back at Dolores. I saw her face begin to lose its expression of joy as she realised I was being hesitant. Dolores must have noticed aswell, for she delivered a hard blow to my lower back and shouted 'Come on Joseph, we're all starving back here!' This was blantantly untrue, as we had just eaten a whole turkey with the trimmings between six of us. But the message was loud and clear. I had no choice but to cut the cake. And as head of the Institute, I knew I would have to take the first piece.
Slowly, I pushed the knife into the shapeless lump. The dense, blackened sponge yielded with difficulty for the first few centimetres before suddenly giving way as if there was nothing there. In fact, it was as though my knife was pushing through air. Then, just as the knife hit the plate, there was a slight crunching sound, which reminded me of the sound of a cat munching on a fieldmouse. At the same time, the strong aroma of rum was polluted by the foul smell of something rotten.
I had to turn away, and in doing so noticed that everyone, except Denise, had taken four steps away from the table. For some reason I didn't understand, Denise was still smiling, as if she thought everything was going to plan.
'Er,' I said, after an awkward silence, 'Denise, I don't mean to sound, er, negative, but, well, I think there might be, er, something, er, not quite right, with your, er, cake.'
'Oh no!' exclaimed Dolores, her face suddenly turning to one of utter anguish. 'Did I miss something out? I tried to do it properly Dr McCrumble. Oh dear. What could it be?'
'Can you smell anything...unusual?'
'I've got a lingering cold Dr McCrumble. I've not smelt a thing for weeks.'
'OK, well I'm sorry to tell you this, Denise, but I think something might have happened to your, er, cake.'
'Oh no, Dr McCrumble. That's impossible. I've kept it with me all the time so it could mature, like Dolores said.'
By now the foul smell was beginning to overpower me. I stood up and moved away from the cake. 'I don't want to alarm you, Denise, but I think there might be something in the cake that shouldn't be there...'
'Did I use too much rum, Dr McCrumble? I wasn't sure how much to put in and kind of had to guess. Also, when I made it I didn't have any butter, and the shops were shut so I had to use some fat out of the chip pan. Then...'
'Er, no, Denise. That's not the problem. Where exectly did you leave it to, er, mature?'
'Well, I had it next to my bed for ages Dr McCrumble. I remember when I put it there...it was just before Dolly went missing. Poor thing. I never did find her.'
'Oh dear', I replied, patting Denise's broad shoulder. 'I'm sorry to say this Denise, but I think we just found Dolly'
'You have?', said Denise excitedly. 'How can you be sorry. That's the best Christmas present I could have. I loved her so much. She was my companion, as you know Dr McCrumble. I treasured her so much I can't tell you how hard it's been for me. Oh, where is she Dr McCrumble?'
I looked first at the shining happy eyes of my receptionist, then over to Dolores. She was wearing an expression that mixed pity and disgust. The other staff were hanging their heads. All I could do was solemnly point at the cake. The poor woman still didn't get it, so I gingerly cut away the charred mess to show the maggot infested corpse of her pet hamster. There was a hole in one side of the cake where the animal had burrowed its way inside.
Needless to say, the party was ruined. Dolores fled in floods of tears saying she would never cook anything again. Everyone else sighed with relief. We couldn't decide whether the cake had killed the hamster, or whether the poor thing had died of natural causes. Erring on the former, the cake was incinerated and its ashes scattered in the local stream. I'm sure it was coincidental, but two days later we found about twenty fish belly up floating in a pond just a few hundred meteres downstream.
I think I may have been put off Christmas Cake for life.
yours
J McC
Morning one and all
It was mayhem at work last night at the Residential home for retried Cabaret artists. It was Larry鈥檚 (nick name Leggie鈥檚) turn to take the floor with his party piece he has been working on for the Christmas Concert. Leggie is an escapologist. He insisted Marge tie him up鈥 and then proceeded to climb into a trunk which was then secured with heavy duty padlocks.
Unfortunately at that point the fire alarm sounded so everybody left to the safety meeting point by the outdoor olympic swimming pool including the budgie. In all the rush the budgie鈥檚 cage flew open and away flew Blobby on to the roof. The alarm stopped but all the residents were still outside trying to coax Blobby down.. It took over two hours and two packets of Trill,but eventually he was safely back in his cage. We all retreated into the warm room but something was missing. 鈥淓h up鈥 said Marge where鈥檚 Leggie's trunk.
It had completely vanished. It then occurred to me that the laundry people had arrived to take the weeks washing away and they must have assumed Leggies trunk was part of it.. We are still trying to track Leggie down, the Laundry are not assuming responsibility. Given his trunk has secret pockets where he stores his whiskey we are no doubt looking for someone wide eyed and legless. Have you seen him at all.
Hello Everyone!
Yay Chrimbo is almost upon us!
I have my advent calendar I have my satsumas and I have my brand new still in its wrapper Muppets Christmas Carol on DVD waiting for me at home for this weekend! So Bring It On!
Things that are Christmas to me -
Muppets Christmas Carol
Quality Street (at Christmas and only at Chirstmas!)
Making ALL of my Christmas Cards!!
Mince Pies
Long walks
Playing Cluedo, Trivial Pursuit and Pictionary!
My blanket on the sofa with my man and a bowl of nuts to crack!
Putting up the decs, and finding ones I'd forgotten I bought!
So happy chirstmas to you all!
Love from JoJo x
PS does anyone else quote from the Muppets Christmas Carol as soon as December comes around???
'... light the lamp, not the rat! Light the lamp, not the rat.....'
Keith,
Slow down with the job application, big boy.
I have discovered over the last week that being interested and committed to one's job, even if it's your next job rather than the current one, has a seriously detrimental effect on one's ability to post blogs.
While some of us clearly don't like our current jobs, they do give us one major thing...the time and the inclination (OK two major things) to blog all day.
The most important question to consider about your future career is:
Will I still be able to post my daily joke and keep many millions (OK tens) of people happy on the blog? This is your first duty and responsibility.
If, and only if, the answer to that is a resounding "Yes" should you pursue any other job opportunity.
Two weeks is a suitable time, I think. Time enough for them to have received and processed. You can't appear either too desperate or too laid back with 2 weeks.
Faced a similar dilemma yesterday at interview. Was a little early, and was left waiting at reception. How long does one leave it before reminding the receptionist that it's past your appointment time?
I went for 10 minutes, and it took another 10 for the interviewer to turn up - not because the reception had told them I was there, but because after 20 minutes they were wondering where the hell I was. This poses a number of questions:
Was I too pushy?...the interviewer waited twice a slong as me.
Do I really want to work for them if they are that disorganised?
Problems, problems.
Seriously though (I am trying hard to be sometimes), work is a big chunk of our life and it's important to be happy in it. Much as I love you all after what is only really a short flirtation, I would be only too happy to have a job that is so interesting, challenging and absorbing that I didn't have time to log on, let alone add my comment or two or forty. I am full of hope that the one I'm going for is that job. Not sure what impact that has on the book, either, but it's been going 7 years, a few more can't do too much harm!
Sniff!
Anyway, the other thing to remember is that the dictionary definition of "career" is "to swerve violently out of control".
And one final comment for Emma SK - Hope the tongue has defurred itself by now and that you have cheered up. Thinking of you, and don't be too hard on yourself. Think of the future not the past, it's the only thing we have even the slightest bit of control over!
The Moose
Ahhh advent is here at last. Mulled wine and the scent of cinnamon.
Chris please play Galadrial as another of your unofficial Cliff Richard playlist please - its just right for the start of December.
David Morris was brilliant the other night and reminded me of the guy that used to do all the bird songs, whose name has now gone from my memory.
Keep up the good work entertaining us all on our way home from work.
Phoenix in Dorset
Ross
I'm so sad for you that you're not sharing Christmas with your children. I'm sure they'll miss you too. My daughter is a single mum and isn't now v friendly with her little girl's Dad but she always tries to talk about him to her in a positive way and encourages him to keep in touch. In fact she really wishes he would spend much more time with the little girl who loves to talk about him but so rarely sees him, and often asks where he is. We just say 'working hard' (which he isn't!) It's really hard on the children when one of the parents is selfish, tries to use them as a weapon or just can't be bothered, isn't it?
Good luck with the court hearing next year.
Jill xx
Hi Chris,
Panic !!!!
It's the 1st of December! Already?..... ..I forgot to buy my son an advent calendar!!!!! Oh blast!!
Rashed to Tesco this morning and thery were sold out!!!!
Went to several shops in my lunch hour and finally.....success!!! I bought 2! Just in case.
Panic over!
Love your show. x
Listening to your comments yesterday that Beaker was the best on the muppet on the fantastic record you are listening to and yes you should start the show with it ..... I think Gozo is the best !!!!!!!!!!!
Arrans and Imogens Mummy ... roll on christmas yippee dead excited in our house .....
Hi Chris
I always read your blog but never posted anything so here goes:
Go for it with the John Denver someone once told me you know when you are getting old when you start to listen to John Denver... love the show you make my journey home every night much more pleasurable.
Hello Chris and bloggers,
Excited? Not 'arf!!! I've got that big warm Christmas glow going on inside and today I got to suck chocolate from my advent calendar before getting out of bed. That I am feeling very special indeed today as I have just learned that I have successfully match-made two good friends of mine who had not previously met. No mean feat as the lady is from my area but now lives in Glastonbury and the gentleman lives in my area but is from Glastonbury. I began working on this about threee months ago without either of them having a clue what I was up to and they met last weekend at my house! They have since been texting and calling as only new lovers know how!
xxxx I so love to spread the love! xxxx
I now feel that I have earned the title 'Fairy Godmother' and have promised myself that I shall to dress as a fairy on Christmas day. Not sure I'll manage the top of the tree I'll have a pink leotard and tutu, diamante tiara and a long pink gliittery wand with a hidden sprinkler that will contain silver glitter to sprinkle wherever I choose. Leotard already in the post courtesy of on-line shopping and I'll make the Tutu and wand. I know that Christmas should be all about children but the ones I know are all very well pampered. Living by my motto 'To each according to his need.....' I have decided to spread my Christmas love amongst the most needy of people I know at this time of year and I have chosen THE SINGLETONS (of which I am one)! I know so many single and miserable adults that I want to bring cheer to their lives at Christmas (and me in a tutu will be just hilarious!).
Encouraged by my success with the aforementioned Glasto people I'm arranging for some of my singleton friends to pair up for shopping (one boy, one girl) so that they can experience the build up to Christmas as a couply time even if they don't end up a couple. We have all agreed that we hate the single feeling when it comes to buying pressies. We miss having that 'special' person to buy for too. I hate shopping alone and a girl needs a man to pull up outside the shop in his Jag and load the numerous bags into the car then whisk her off to a quiet restaurant to share a tasty meal and a bottle of red. I know many blokes that can do this and would love to and many girls who would love it to happen for them.
I've paired up three couples for a day already and if I achieve my goal there'll be 9 'couples' having a Christmas shopping day spectacular that would otherwise have been a miserable single experience. Shopping day is Thursday 21st Dec in Oxford Street and Regent Street of course and we're all having a meal together in the lovely Moroccan restaurant in Neal's Yard at Covent Garden at the end if the day. The only flaw in the plan is that the one I always go shopping with is now paired off with a woman in Glastonbury! I knew I'd missed something...........back to the little black book!xxx
Love and happy shopping to all!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Debs xxxxxxxxxxxxx
P.S. Chris, I hope you got the Malteser advent calendar this year. I bought one for you fully intending to post it off to you but as I didn't get around to it I have to have two at once every morning. It's not so bad. What can possibly go wrong after starting the day with a Malteser in each cheek? xxx
Message for Chris Russell (Bad News I'm afraid!)
My last blog was banned by the blog police for some reason, but if you google Neapolitans, there's an article to say that they stopped making them last year :-(
I'm really sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Just been to the shops- they all look really christmassy!!
Do Blue Peter still do their advent candle made out of coat hangers and tinsel? I used to love that, it was so exciting ...
xxx
URGENT - Prof Plum
I may have found poor old Leggie! I was collecting the F Christmas outift that I'd sent to the local laundry for a clean, so that the old buffer can change into clean gear after sliding down our sooty chimney, and heard strange stifled noises coming from one of the big baskets near the back door, and I think I heard the name Blobby being called now that you mention it.
I asked the assistant to investigate but she said, in view of the pungent fumes emitting from the basket, she had called the police, being worried that it might explode Advise you to get in touch with the local constabulary right away before the bomb squad go too far.
Happy Christmas
De-cluttering at Xmas.
Before I tried it, I was adamant that I wouldn't like it and that it'd be a huge waste of time.
How wrong I was.
Just the other day I visited an establishment, and you'll have to forgive me - my recollection isn't the strongest......called a 'Pub' (or something like that). Anyway, it was all quite jolly and homely but there was an area towards the rear of this establishment that was just SO cluttered with bottles, glasses and large barrels so full of liquid, they were impossible to move. I knew there would be a lot of hard work ahead and so without further ado, got to it straight away. Anyway, to cut a long story short(well it would be if I could remember) , by the end of the night myself and my good friend had selflessly managed to clear a good sized area of the ridiculous clutter, leaving uncluttered space on the shelves behind the counter and on the floor under it. Not only did we just get our heads down and throw ourselves into it completely, we actually enjoyed it!.....and even attracted the attention of others who were more than happy to join in too.
I put it down to the time of year but apparently, according to some other friends (who went to look at our public spiritedness) the place is all cluttered again! It might mean leaving work early yet again but we're going back there this evening, mob handed, to get the job finished. Who knows, I might even find the money I lost during our first attempt......
Stay tidy bloggers......you know it makes sense.
C
x
Moose #65 - THANK YOU for your kind and wise words, I know Winnie The Pooh is too cutesy for some people but I love him, and regularly categorise my friends and colleagues by the personalities in Pooh. Today Moose you are WOL or should I say OWL.
Tongue is defurred without the use of cilit bang, brain has redescended to the appropriate place and I am feeling a bit more human.
Will take care of myself and go home early (at 3pm) and sleep. Is likely therefore I will miss the show tonight so Christoff when you look down your headphones and realise I am missing from your audience of millions please accept my apologies in advance.
As am feeling better am going to tell you the things that make me excited about Christmas;
1. The lights in the streets always SO beautiful
2. Cinnamon, mince pies, brussel sprouts (I LOVE 'em and also love them in bubble and squeak the day after!!)
3. Christmas Songs, from Fairytale In New York by the pogues and kirsty mccoll to david bowie and bing crosbie little drummer boy to Silent Night OH I JUST LOVE ALL OF THEM (and to DWNB #29 and Cheryl #18 - I agree the traditional Santa Baby is fantastic)
4. Shopping for presents;- the excitment, the indecision, the triumph and the secrecy
5. putting up the christmas tree (stopping the cat eating the lametta) and the first time you switch the lights on after you've decorated it MAGIC
6. Miracle on 34th Street (both versions) and It's a Wonderful Life and White Christmas and Muppet Christmas Carol and 成人快手 Alone 1 and 2 and Love Actually.
there. I feel better now I've added a cheery input to the Blog.
Thank you again Moose for your positive words and putting a smile on my face:-
the future will be here in a minute...............
love and xxxxxx to all
em sk
24 days until Christmas! days are dark and damp, and worst of all i can't read in the car on the way back from school.
welcome to hell
Hi Chris and team, yes its that favorite time of year... Christmas, not the winterval or festive season as our PC killjoys like to say, but CHRISTMAS!!
Course we are now spending money on pressies like its going out of fashion, but its always great to see the kids faces when they get something unexpected.
How do you wrap up a horse?
Working at home today, listening to good 'ol R2 on the home PC while using my work PC. Looking forward to the show.
Keep up the good work.
Bigcat
Phoenix #66 - I believe Percy Edwards was the fella who used to do the bird impersonations/whistling.
jillygoat
Heather Kennedy #69, I think you mean Gonzo was your favourite.
Wasn't Gozo one of the demons in Ghostbusters? or an island off Malta?
Stevie Wright has just played a classic from the mighty thumb and his mates (Level 42, to the uninitiated). Top tune!!!
DD out
Ah Chris,you are soooooooo right.My daughter and I have just got the Crimbo Vids,dvds n cds out.Top of the list Muppets Christmas Carol. I fthe weather is grotty this wkend we are heading for the first Crimbo wkend.Muppets up first.
Down side to the wkend the lights go on in our close!!! Dont mean to be a humbug but hey I cant get to sleep at night cause its so dammn bright out there!!!
Did the charity drop last wkend,yep its good for the soul to clear out the dark spaces in the house.
Going to a local pub reopening sat night...........
Watch out Chris they could be competition......gonna check them out for you!!!!
Or is it for the free Champs n nibbles???
Hope Mother E's sarnies were good and that she had a fab night.....How cool to go out with your mum n have such a good time...........
Off for late lunch{pea n ham soup} as spent most of day out malfunctioning hot tub for client!!!!
Have a fab wkend...........still waiting for the invite to see George...........loads of love n stuff,fix.
Oh Chris,ref the 'Eat healthy before Christmas',fab iead.Been at it for a few weeks.......{the healthy eating,ok!!!!}
Oat cakes n fruit for bfast ,home made soup or egss n bacon 4 lunch{yep it works for me!} and loads of veggies n a yummy casserole for supper. Variations on the above.Now weigh 7lb 13 n happy to stay that way,feels good n not feelin stuffed.Bring on the party dress.........
Afternoon!
Christmas begins in September for me and my friends, when we start rehearsing Christmas songs and our annual pantomime. By the time December 1st comes it feels like it's been 'almost' christmas forever. But by the time the show opens - 7th December this year - the rest of the people in our small world are thinking about Christmas too. And the real priviledge is that people come to our show and we begin Christmas with them. It's the first time they've sung a Christmas carol for a year, the first visit from Santa Claus, their first mince pie of the year. Yes an absolute priviledge and I wouldn't swap it for the world.
Then when the show is over and the bright lights have dimmed the cast and crew visit our local hospital and sing to and with the patients... yet another priviledge.
Gert
Jill
Thank you for your concern for Leggie. I don't know who is hanging around in your dry cleaners but I can assure you it's not leggie, Earlier today he was found wandering up the M27. This was after he left his Christmas shopping outside an airport in Bournemouth I think causing a security alert. We are still looking for his trunk
Leggie is famous again and very pleased to be back in the public eye.
Many thanks again.
Plum
i forgot it was the first of december. thanks for reminding me chrissy boy.
where did i put my muppets album?
Hey #72 Cath
Doh!!!
My childhood is drifting away!!!!!
It's a good excuse to try all the other different types of choccies though in order to establish a new favourite!!!!
I always used to think that Christmas shouldn't start until at least the 2nd week of December. However I;m having such a miserable time of things I feel that maybe I should let it start early and get happy :-)
Strange question here and really don't know if i'll get any answers cos you don't seem like that sort of crowd....
Has anyone ever been to Al-Anon? It's like AA but for friends and relatives rather than the alcoholic themself. I just want to know whether I will find it useful or not. Can't really speak to anyone about this (it's a very long story but it's my other half that has the problem) and I know how you are all so lovely and helpful, full of advice, in this site. Thought if I didn't ask I'd never know.
Anywa back to the Christmas Cheer - best thing about Christmas?
- Family & Friends
- Satsumas
- Schnapps
- Christmas Dinner
- Trifle
- Brandy Snaps (with brandy butter)
And lots more other things that I need to think about....
LOL
J x
(Not in any particular order though).
hello everyone!
just had to wait until the boss has gone so i can view the blog - friday afternoon really drags!
i love the muppets! in fact i would be dashing home from work tonight to watch the muppet's christmas carol if it wasn't for the fact that the children have probably hidden the video - they have no taste! it's probably in a big hole at the bottom of the garden with my miracle on 34th street and my englebert humperdink cd knowing my two! however i shall be off out later helping out with the evening entertainment for the christmas lights switch on in the town! can't wait - even if i do get soaked in the rain.
i have to confess to feeling very christmassy all of a sudden and i'm a bit concerned that i might be over it by the time the big day arrives.
Happy December everyone!
Time to start enjoying the season, and get into the spirit (both sorts)! The Christmas lights twinkling in the dark, cold nights, whilst being cosy inside, glass of mulled wine in hand, making plans towards being with family and friends over Christmas.
Just thinking about the happy faces when presents are opened and people are really pleased with what you have given them is enough to put a smile on my face.
Last week I went to Chatsworth to see their Christmas display, it was absolutely magical. The theme this year is the Twelve Days of Christmas, and the thought put into the detail is amazing. Each room has a different theme, all beautifully decorated, and you are given an accompanying leaflet explaining the origin of each of the twelve days. Next to all the priceless works of art are homemade masterpieces from the local schools - including beautiful Turtle Doves made by the little ones.
Since being there I have felt Christmassy, and I have promised myself that on Christmas Day I will close my eyes to picture that enchanting place all decked out. It made me feel like a small child again, with all the related excitement and anticipation!
I hope you all have something that gives you a warm glow inside. I thank you for making my days at work so enjoyable with all your comments, I read every one and it has truly enhanced my outlook on life.
Cheers, and good health to you all!
Sars
BIG UN
You truly are one of the most insightful funny blokes on the planet. I've been using the beer scooter for years but didn't realise it had a name! I shall be on the same beer scooter later.
Good weekend everypeeps!
Luv
Lynda
-x-x-x-
No, no, no! It's not even ADVENT yet!!! That starts on Sunday. And if you go overboard celebrating Christmas for a month beforehand, everyone will be heartily sick of it by Epiphany.
We live in a society where we are constantly anticipating the next thing (news reports, telling us what is going to be announced that day) and if we do that too much we may miss the beauty of NOW.
So, sorry to go all "Bah, humbug!" on you, but I'd like to enjoy Advent, then I can still enjoy Christmas for the whole of Christmas, and not just Christmas day.
Miss T Ide
xxx
#82 Fillybay - if your weight really is 7lb 12 you definitely are a babe and your original message yesterday was right all along "young/fun/single".
Good on you for losing any weight.
MW
Moose,
I know you talk sense :-)
You may find it hard to believe but I do actually work very hard and far too many hours. I blog to keep my mind off the tasks ahead as I find the distraction helps me concentrate in a funny kind of way. This is the only blog I contribute to as I find it so much fun and I feel like I fit in here :-) I understand that some on here would miss my daily helping of madness/jokes (when they get past the blog police) some even demand that I post! From what I have seen there are enough regular posters already posting jokes, enough to amuse even the most avid blogger.
My problem with my current job is not the challenge the job itself brings but the amount of it. I currently do the work of at least four people hence regularly find myself having to work 70 hour weeks. I am salaried and not paid by the hour so there is no incentive to stay for the money only my professionalism and drive to try to get the job done. My bosses are fully aware as not only do I tell them, they have agreed there is a problem but all I hear is there is no money for new staff :-( Therefore my only real option is to look for jobs that can be done in say 40 hours a week that is a challenge and if the opportunity arises still be able to post a blog or two as well. :-)
I guess what I am after is a better balance to my life so that I can spend more time with my wife and kids before the kids have flown the nest completely and I have missed it because I have engrossed myself into work!
Oh course I could just trade my BMW for a Harley ;-)
Have a great weekend every body :-)))
Only 25 minuets till show time and I have work to finish so that I can listen on the way home ;-)
Keith
Well here it is, the countdown begins,Chris first off the whistling was great really brought a smile to my face as I was driving back to Scunthorpe from Newcastle, your show goes from strength to strength.
Christmas for me is the early morning, turkey in the oven, waking the kids up and chocolate and games. The problem is the kids are now older, still want the same christmas sacks but generally go to bed after me and the wife its knackering, if Tony wants to introduce a law it should be kids take over Santa's role at age 20.
Anyway looking forward to the best Xmas ever and hoping and praying for snow, maybe you could play White Christmas, really get everyone praying for it.
I hope your trees sell well, why not get them on the web with a delivery charge and then those of us in distant parts can partake.
Steve
Ian #48 - I'm with you ... BAH HUMBUG!
Christmas parties & secret santas & cold dark mornings & family birthdays over Christmas so you have to buy two presents because a combined one JUST WON'T DO ... What is there to enjoy about December??? Although I have to confess I do love a clear bright and frosty morning to raise the spirits.
Bring on January - then at least we've got 11 months to recover before the next round of enforced cheerfulness (is that in the same class as effortless slenderness???)
I remember last Christmas I signed all my daughters christmas presents with love from Father Christmas.
A little while after she had opened all her presents, i became aware that she was looking quite down in the mouth for no reason.
When i asked her what was the matter. She replied i really hoped you would get me something for Christmas too.
You can't win
Allo Allo Allo,
White Rabbit, White Rabbit, White Rabbit...
I just wrote a big long and involved comment and came back to finish and it had disappeared - the blog police are taking over before I have even finished typing!!!
Glad you had a great time with your mum Chris, she sounds luvly :-)
I gave away my old Christmas tree today with tons of bows, Xmas decorations etc to a school teacher of children with autism. What a feelin' - lurve it. I wont stop there, I am purging for sure, got bags of stuff for the charity shop....It certainly does make you feel good!!!
CLAIRE - Moody teenagers...my kids (both boys) are now 21 and 19 and I have come through the other end and I now have a great relationship with them both, I love them to bits and they know it!! (which every kid should, even though sometimes we want to strangle em). One thing I always did (I am divorced) - I always had rules which I also think every kid should have, they need boundaries. Both my kids left and went to live with their dad (only lasted one day) cos he had no rules (another story). Anyway suffice it to say that I stuck by my guns and it was worth it. We laugh together, they are both at Uni now, I miss them terribly and love it when we can get together. So hang in there, they are worth it and if they are good kids, it will all work out! If all else fails, have a glass (or five) of wine :-)
Moose and Keith (loved your jokes) - yes this job lark is a whole other issue. I have my own business which is not taking off as I would have liked dont know why - any sugggestions anyone???(roomsandroots.com). So I have been applying for jobs too and most of the time you never hear back from anyone unless you are picked for an interview. However, I agree with you Moose, two weeks sounds about right to call then your name comes to mind when they are considering applicants. There is a fine line between waiting for the appropriate time and stalking !!! LOL Good luck to you both and anyone else searching for that 'perfect' job.
Hazel Love - Ssssshhhhhh - her head hurts :-)
Jax - where did you get the candle that you burn every day till Xmas? I have never seen them but I like the sounds of that - and you dont gain weight :-)
All you peeps going away for Xmas, great!!! I have never been away for Xmas, I cant imagine having no snow etc. But I think I would like to give it a try for sure :-) So, I am home and will have my kids some of the time over Xmas, some they spend with their dad - I feel for you Ross - it is not nice the years I dont have them but they are adults now so a bit different. I just cherish the time I do have.
Anyway, enough of my blabbing on, have a great weekend everyone.. It is raining like the blazes here and we are supposed to get freezing rain and maybe snow tomorrow...... yuk!!!
Love Joan xxx
PS - DWNB - I missed your website address, what is it again??? I will come for a virtual visit :-)
PPS - Lyndyloo - have fun working up to the bday on Tuesday - practice this weekend lol
PPPPPPSSSSS - I get the muppets, love the two old men :-)
Good Afternoon All
Glad Friday has at last arrived and, more to the point, the working part of it for me is nearly over.
We鈥檙e having a major clear out at work, but not for the right reasons. Unfortunately the majority of us will finish on 22nd December for Christmas, and not be coming back. The office is re-locating about 3 hours up country, so not an easy commute.
But what a clear out! Bags and bags of old and/or duplicate files all heading for the wonderful company who come on-site to shred it all. Bags and bags of all sorts of rubbish that can鈥檛 be shredded.
The girls downstairs put up Chrimbo decorations today, at least it looks festive, even if the girls don鈥檛 feel it. Us few upstairs have a miniature tree 鈥 about 10 inches high. It鈥檚 not that we鈥檙e Scrooges, but we鈥檙e all moving to a meeting room downstairs next week when the builders come in.
So, all in all not the best, and I am trying so hard to get in the festive mood for the little ones. Maybe after a weekend of family life it鈥檒l look better.
Take care all, and enjoy your weekends, whatever you end up doing, and I apologise for being a grump!
5-4-3-2-1 Thunderbirds are go!!!!!!
Hi Again
Jax....I have never been to Al-Anon but I believe if it helps you then go for it. My ex had somewhat of a problem and although I never went to Al-Anon, I did have a therapist (and still do) - you need to unload and speak to people with the same issues. It can only help as far as I am concerned. Good for you if you take that big step...I think you will be glad you did. xxx
Big Un - You work TOO hard for sure. I understand the blogging thing to keep your mind off other things, I think it helps us all, we have a luvly likkle family here.....and yes we demand you carry on with the joke of the day (or two) we look forward to it!!! I know it is all about the almighty dollar and paying the mortgage etc but you have to have balance. 70 hours is a lot of hours. You sound very professional but you are right about spending more time with your wife and kids cos once they are gone, you are right, you have missed it and can never get that time back. So a Harley it is and a new job - go for it and good luck....you are one of the good 'uns xxx
Joan xxxx
Joannie Toronto
Click on my name, or hit www.mid-life-me.com
Cheers. Look forward to seeing you there.
DWNB
Christmas is emptying my bank account already but at least at club tropicana, drinks are free.
Hey Chris-you done your Christmas shopping yet?? I have! In Paris!! How cool was that??
Excellent choice for opening track on tonights show.. You the man!!!
Proper Chrimbo!
xx
Can you give a big christmas mention to all those soldiers on operations around the world!!!!
However I am a serving soldier in Edinburgh at the moment so making the most of the awesome night life. Rock on.....
Cheers mate
Chris Vincent
Chris, you must be telepathic old boy. Why?. Was just saying to 'the wife' on Thursday morning, i'm going to clear the house out of all the 'rubbish' and stick it the charity box.
Some lucky joe will pick up some bespoke suits for a song!!
My 11 year old Tom, is totaly mesmerised with google earth, he's never off it. Good job 'missus' keep her top on!!
Yo Chris and team love the show.
Bringing my boys up to London tommorow to see all the festive events on Oxford Street.
Happy Chrissymas 2006 everyone
Lisa, Kian and Kaelin
I just spent some time with my son aswell in north london before he jetted off for a surfing xmas in Tonga with the lovely svedish emma. It was worth it lovewise ...even though being a 'country bumpkin mum' I got 2 parkin tickets in the same day.....
Christmas isn't fun for everyone....
My children will be spending week with their dad, so I have Christmas Day alone, for the second year in a row. boo hoo....It has it's ups and it's downs. Not seeing my children is a massive down, but not being woken up at 5am is a perk! Not having presents is a down, but being able to eat half a tonne of chocolate for breakfast swished down with some red wine is another plus.
However, my son's year has just been made by you reading out our text on tonight's show. They're so excited! So thanks for that.
We're still merrily studding oranges with cloves - we've progressed onto kumquats and lemons now too.
We'll send you one!
Emma, Archie and Jed.
xxx
Dear Mr 'TheBigUn'...
sooooooooooooooooo glad to hear that me and Mr L weren't the only loons pinching and punching each other shouting "white rabbits" at 6am this morning when the radio reminded us of the date!
Merry, Merry to you all!!!!!
Lindsey
Keith,
I'm with you...my current situation with little to do is at the other end of the extreme to my usual life...out of the house before the mooselets are awake, and back home after they are in bed. I refuse to work at weekends, except when absolutely necessary, otherwise I really wouldn't ever see them.
Sometimes I feel like we want too much - a challenging, interesting job...that pays well...and let's us see our kids. Pick any 1 of 3. 2 if you're really lucky. But all 3?
I know if I get this new job, I'll be back to the long hours, pressure, loads of travelling around...just hope they offer loads of money to compensate!! It is a great job for me though - in particular because there is no accounting involved! And I really want to do it...
This is all a bit serious and deep for a Friday night, and I haven't even cracked open a bottle of red yet...
Here's hoping we all get at least a little bit of what we want, and that we can be happy with the compromises we need to accept in order not to drive ourselves crazy.
I can hear the Merlot calling....
Just to end with...a Darwin award...
Benjamin Franklin reputedly flew his kite in a lightning storm, going on to discover that lightning is electricity. However, certain precautions one must take to avoid, as Franklin did, sudden electrocution.
Kennon, 26, replicated the conditions of Ben Franklin's experiment, sans precautions, flying a kite for his niece. The string was a short string he extended with a length of thin copper wire...
The copper made contact with a high tension line, sending a bolt of "artificial lightning" down the wire. Kennon's father told listeners that his son should have known better... as he's an electrician.
Moose
Lords & Ladies
I have only three words to say to you;
Roasted. Butternut. Squash.
Have a terrific weekend.
Peace.
Hi Chris, you are so right! i've been feeling so 'not christmas again?' but we should just get on with enjoying ourselves and spending time with our friends and loved ones so.....HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
Heavy on a Friday Night
Moose. You, Keith and I need to go out for beer one night.
We are, or could be, soul mates.
I'm 36 and tiring of plc/corporate rubbish.
The lovely Mrs MfR earn very well and enjoy a nice lifestyle, but we both yearn for 'something'.
This may sound corny, but this blog has inspired me to get off my (firm, much-gymed) arse and do what I really think I ought to.
Write.
And I've started. Oh yes.
Bloggers of the world unite, and take over.
Peace All.
Matt from Rudgwick,
I'm there. Publishing party for all our books...
Moose
and Matt, thanks...
I was feeling too tired to bother, but I've just written a page of my book. Getting close to the end of seven chapters now, and am determined to make a very large hole in the rest over Christmas hols.
Thanks for the inspiration to get at least another 0.5% done tonight....and I'm going back to it for some more
Moose
Ronnie Ronalde was the whistler. Percy Edwards was an animal impersonator.... Remember Life of Bliss on the wireless?
Dear Chris et al,
My auntie who is nearly 80 has just been shown the wonders of Google earth by my cousin. (You're not my cousin are you?!) She was amazed and has been telling me how exciting it has been to almost walk around the wood at the back of her old house. She was sowww amazed. It's such a shame that she has moved to Essex from up here to be near my cousin when I have moved from london two miles down from where she used to live. I am trying to get her to move back.
It is now Christmas but I haven't got my decorations up yet. Though I have organised a christmas do for my husband's friends, their wives and girlfriends for tomorrow. I keep wondering why I didn't do it for my friends? It may be because my friends are more numerous and don't know each other whereas his friends were all at school together. Yes, that's it! Anyway, according to the local paper there are astronauts staying at the hotel on that evening and I'm going to ask them questions about space, if I manage to track them down - What would you ask them Chris?
I'll let you know how it goes.
Merry Christmas - that Slade song does it for me - makes me feel so Christmassy.
PPS my little four year old just opened the first flap on his advent calendar this morning and was so annoyed that he couldn't open them all - before he went to bed he said 'can I open another picture on my calendar?' - it was only two birds this morning - what will it be tomorrow??
Life is full of such fantastic surprises. L x
Hi Chris
Top show listen all the time.
Bought some advent calneders today first time in years it's like being a child again christmas it's ace lets have some fun cooking for thirty in our local on christmas day will be ace want to join us?
Hi Chris,
Listened to your show whilst driving home from work tonight (or yesterday as it's now 1.28am Sat) and you really cheered me up and got me in the Christmas mood!!
Christmas prezzy shopping later - love it!
Have a great weekend.
XXX
hi chris
just thought this would help johny and all the ladys understand the off side rule.no offence ment to anybody.
Offside for Girls
You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop
assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you
must have.
The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them
with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to
pay for the shoes.
The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and
sees your dilemma.
She prepares to throw her purse to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper
and buy the shoes!
At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and "whilst
it is in flight" you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and
buy the shoes!
BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been
thrown", it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other shopper
and you would be OFFSIDE!
Hope this helps.:)
So if it's the best month of the year, wishing peace to all men (and women) is that why the world's in a mess because the other 11 months of the year.
What are we thinking the other 11??
Maybe we should have Xmas for 11 months and a month off to recuperate!
Would the world be a better place then?
Either way I'll do my thing and you'll all do yours, life is soooooo diverse.
Love your shows, try to listen every night whilst going home from work........ginge is good!
guys and gals
good afternoon to you all
Mary...hope you slept better last night - really empathised with your post yesterday morning - I had posted one too but before Chris' came up, so it was on the day before's page.
Tonight at midnight I have to pick-up one of my daughters from a party. I must really try not to watch the cricket when I get home - but it is awesome at the moment - and I always enjoy it more when 'our boys' are in the field : )
have a lovely day
Gaby
xx
ps Moose - keep going with the book - have you got an agent? I am good at selling : )
Mary...I have just seen that actually our posts re insomnia ARE on the same page - I really need to get more sleep!!! - and should definitely go straight to bed after my taxi duties have finished this evening!!!! hope your plumbing problems are sorted - mine continue at a pace....will spare you the details , but suffice to say, my plumber should be able to afford his luxury gin palace very, very soon : )
Gaby
x
Gaby
Fancy trying to sell McCrumble? The book-of-the-blog could do with a bit of publicity.
regards
J McC
Dr J McC
I am inspired by and interested in your excellent idea.
Marketing slogans, although in their infancy, are being formulated.........
'....Twist away from Mr Bumble, why not try some Dr J McCrumble.....'
Gaby
Green Tea is good, but getting rid of CDs? A little extreme,I think. And as for that four letter word that starts with X and ends with S (X**S), I'm already fed up with it! Please, please don't play the Muppets - at all, ever!!!
Dr J McC
I have encountered a potential disadvantage, nay, prohibiting factor (nay constant), in my afore-intimated application for position of sales catalyst for the book-of-the-blog. Having viewed the video clip on your website during which one of your other published productions is scientifically endorsed by none other than Dr Mark Booth, I fear lest he will have his keen scientific eyes on the afore-mentioned job vacancy and, since he already has his foot in the laboratory door (so to speak) I am concerned he will be at a physiological, psychological, and parasitological advantage over me. Nevertheless, being a sagitarrian, I am an optimist and I shall submit forewith my application.
Yours optimistically (hopelessly, probably)
Gaby
Gaby
Please be assurred that a PhD is not a pre-requisite for the job of book promotion. If, Gaby, you are gifted with the, er, gab, so to speak, you may find that you are at a distinct advantage over most scientists, who, despite their myriad talents, are sometimes reluctant to swing in the direction of communicating with the public. That's not to say it will always remain so, as I am aware that there is a growing concern that scientists should, indeed, engage with the public on a more regular basis. Dr Booth is a reasonably good practitioner in this respect, and is in occasional demand by schools etc for regailing tales of parasites that would make your toes first curl and then drop off.
One reason scientists are reluctant is that their opinions are worth less than those of Big Brother contestants. If I managed to bag Chantelle to plug the book it would sell more copies than if I asked the entire fellowship of the Royal Society, even though her fifteen minutes was up about fifteen minutes after she left the house.
Here's an idea. Let's re-create the reality-TV hit 'The Apprentice' here on the Chris Evans blog. Gaby, you have the potential to make it big, but you are going to have to prove yourself. You've got 48 hours to tell 100 people about the book and secure 25 sales. Your commission if you complete this task shall be my undying gratitude and a chance to go for the big prize of Voluntary Sales Co-ordinator (Blogosphere) - now that's worth something.
yours
J McC
Dr J McC,
I would like to suggest, assume even, that as today is a sunday, my 48hrs commences tomorrow at 8am. Any attemts to sell anything other than 'wine for post-roast' at this time on a sunday would be counterproductive, futile even. To commence my task at 8am on a week day seems fair, given that any other 'players' wishing to join this particular race this week would indeed have an unfair advantage of weekday selling over my weekend hours-worth otherwise. ( I am secretly hoping that I will catch our fair nation in a state of euphoria at this time of the morning after a superb night of success attained in Adelaide).
Thank you for your encouragement regarding my application. I feel I have an added advantage as I am not only a skilled seller( this time next year, Dr J McC, we will be millionaires) but I, too, have a scientific qualification, an honours degree in Physiology and Biochemistry. I have no doubt that celebs such as Chantelle would out-sell me in but an instant...but, in our chronic attempts to reach out and join in with the community and society itself, I feel it is worthwhile , at the very least,to have a go.
Regards
Gaby
ps I hope demand doesn't outstrip supply - I do like to deliver, having pitched. (Let us hope that Flintoff et al share the same sentiments)
Hi Chris - love the idea of your Mum experiencing Google Earth for the first time.
I'm sure you know that Lesley Garrett is on Saturday Kitchen next week. Let's hope she's on top form. As you're there the week after, can you ask James how his cows and pigs are fairing. If he needs any help with his vegetable garden - just let me know. I manage 7 acres as well as a full time job in the NHS.
Yours - foodie fan.
Jill
Thanks for the kind words.
Divorce usually means the kids suffer most, but many forget that Father's are often alone at Christmas when the ex wives refuse to let them see their kids :(
Ah well - roll on 2007
Ross
Oi McCrumble,
I feel very slightly perturbed and usurped.
I thought I was under first offer from Gaby, and yet you, Dr Joseph McCrumble, seem to have been incredibly opportunistic and have stepped into my place in the affections of the number one blogosphere bookseller.
How fickle laydees can be when there is cash involved!
If only I had actually finished and published my book, maybe I would have more to offer Gaby, and she would not have deserted me for you quite so quickly.
I have half a mind to come up to Cumbernauld and punch you on the nose.
However, it's a long way to go and the weather is bad. So I shall simply nip the few miles to Cambridge and take my jealous rage out on your alter ego Dr Booth instead.
Watch out...I know where you live...
Moose
PS Gaby...I have resigned myself to let you practice and hone your bookselling skills on this imposter McCrumble. Hopefully any small selling mistakes which may be made, will be made on HIS book, leaving you even more perfect and ready to sell MY book even more successfully. Whatever he's giving you, I'll beat it...
Gaby - OK, since you ask, and present some compelling logic, I'll let you start your assignment at 8am tomorrow. If we do well at the cricket then I reckon the whole nation will be feeling 10% better than on your average Monday. I'll measure the hits on the website to make sure you are keeping on target. Push that retail envelope until you can feel the paper tearing with the strain! Go girl!
P.S. Are you still a practicing scientist?
Moose - are you feeling OK? This time of year can bring stress, so I understand. I'm sure that when you do finish your book it will be far more sucessful than my own humble effort. Stay strong, Moose, for the road to publication is strewn with many misplaced commas. I hope you feel better soon.
regards
J McC
hiya all, havent done this for agees,but dealing with a load of nasty stuff yesterday and i wondered what is it that makes some people be so horrid????a friend of mine was in a fix and these people helped her out now 8 months down the line they are turning the screws and blackmailing her.what the hell is all that about,does my head in all i'm trying to do is teach myself to live in the present moment just to get by and try to learn more about myself.but were does all that fit in with the grand sceem of things???were are thoe wizards when you need them??being so aware realy helps me but how can she see that if all this stuff going on poor girl.i tell her listen to chris be inspired!!!!i have to admit to agreeing with the ba humbug but i like the idea of that warm by the fire chrimbo glow too,even when life shit,but cant cope with the family guilt thing,and counting chrimbo cards,whats that all about????to me it smacks of living in the past.well i'm looking forward (if i'm aloud to do that)to 2 weeks of laughter in our house as our german exchange student desends and fills our days with laughter ,a little ray of sunshine she is.perhaps the wizards will join us too,really could do with some help.any how happy monday to you all...mx
Morning Blogglers,
With Chris on the road travelling to the show destination for the day will he be blogging as usual this week?
Still I am sure it will not hold us back鈥.after all we survived when he was a way for a couple of weeks ;-)
I attended my first of many Christmas dinners on Saturday night and can report the sprouts were just right! They had been on the boil since at least august鈥..perfect! I must admit to getting home on the beer scooter for the first time this festive season!
Of course we had the obligatory crackers and I kept a couple of the silly jokes they contained so as to start Monday in the right way!
厂辞鈥︹赌︹赌︹赌︹赌
Q. What does the word minimum mean?
A. A very small mother.
Q. Where should the dressmaker build her house?
A. On the outskirts.
Q. Why didn鈥檛 the skeleton go to the New Years Eve party?
A. He had no body to go with.
Q. What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?
A. An egg.
Happy Monday :-)
Keith
X
Moose,
Thanks for Friday your wisdom served me well ;-)
Morning all
Moose, your piece at #110 has struck a cord and got me thinking.
Three months ago I switched jobs. I had a really well paid, interesting job but the hours and pressure were getting too much. So, I had 2 out of your 3.
Now, I've got slightly better money, an interesting job but it is sooooo boring and dull (I'm sure everyone else in the office is actually dead, they're so lifeless). Again I've got 2 out of 3 - it's just a different mix.
I guess I was hoping that when I moved I would have all 3 and be in my perfect job, but it hasn't worked out. I was thinking about moving on again but you've got me thinking that I'll never achieve all 3 so should relax and be happy with my 2.
Ah well, Christmas is coming, the decorations went up yesterday (1st year our eldest didn't want to help - he's 14 now and it just wasn't cool enough for him) started watching the christmas DVDs over the weekend so all in all life is a litle rosier today.
Monday monday.... la la la la la la!
Thanks to all the bloggers who have looked at my blog site and to Helen & Sally for commenting.
It was a big Friday and I crashed & burned very early in a stupor before the lodger got us a beer scooter. The time bandits were rife and Saturday morning was full of little men with big hammers in my head.
Off to George Michael tonight and soooooooo excited!!! And just the one sleep till the final year of the flirty thirties kickes in.
Big Un... Great Cristmas Crackers, they're my favourite silly jokes.
Hope you're all having a great Monday...
Luv
Lynda
-x-x-x-
Joanne (Toronto) - thank you for your post in response to mine. My boyfriend is attending his first AA session tonight. He seems to want to stop drinking - I only hope it stays that way. I don't think I can take much more of it - the lonliness, verbal/emotional abuse. I know I should leave him really but I do love him and I just want him to get better. Most of those close to me think I'm just being blind and that I should have left him ages ago. I'm worried what he'll do if I go. I tried it once and he took an overdose.
My doctor has referred me to see a therapist - it's heartening to know that you have found it useful and helpful seeing one. I think I will try this Al-Anon on Wednesday.
As I said in a previous post - I find this blog very therapeutic. You're all such lovely people. I feel bad for posting a miserable message!
Happy Monday everbody :-)
May you all have a spendid week.
J x
Morning Folks!
Feeling a bit tender still this morning after a very nice night out on Saturday which left me very knocked out on Sunday.
Also have been to the dentist this morning... 54 mile round journey cause I'm too scared to change dentists.
Joke from the DWNB
One Snowman turns to another snowman and says....
...
....
......
.........
Can you smell carrots?
Morning Chris, honey 鈥 and fellow bloggers and blogettes! Slainthe Mhath!
ONLY 21 DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS DAY! And we are just home from London 鈥 and have the advent calendar to open! Yay! Hubby is still in London, so Charis and I have 4 chocs to share! Double Yay!!!
How are we all this fine and fuzzy Monday!? How are you feeling today DWNB? Any news on your neice jillygoat? More to the point, did you get up to Auchterderran ok on Sunday, Chris??!! Hope you had a blast on the bus! I鈥檓 sure a very warm welcome awaited you! And I hope you鈥檝e had the haggies, neeps and tatties 鈥 especially scrummy with whiskey sauce or raspberry sauce. We had some on the sleeper to London on Thursday night, to pay homage to St Andrew鈥檚 Day! The weather up here over the border is just awful, by the way!
So 鈥 your Mum enjoyed the Sound of Music? Connie looks perfect in the role. Sounds like you gave your Mum a great time. Well done, laddie! Bet your home is sparkling now! Aren鈥檛 Mum鈥檚 just the best? And was Casino Royale as good as it looks?
When we moved home 10 weeks ago, we had a HUGE clear out to the charity shops 鈥. but it was just a drop in the ocean, so I think we are going to have to give it another go! It鈥檚 hard when you鈥檙e a hoarder!!
And how is the healthy eating going? Aloe vera extract is a must too 鈥 we have just started taking that. Porridge is an absolute must as a start to your day! Are you still gyming it every day?
We are back in the land of porridge and plaid! Yay! Sleeper train was 2 hours late, though, because of flooding at Kingussie (and snow 鈥 but it was that horrible wet snow!)鈥 I鈥檝e never seen flooding like it! And I鈥檓 still swaying 鈥. I feel like I鈥檓 still on the train! Hate to think how our 22 month old daughter feels! Now I鈥檓 sitting catching up with everyone in Chris Evans Blogland 鈥. and Charis is sitting in the laundry basket with her crisps and water watching TV 鈥. cos she hasn鈥檛 seen CBeebies since Thursday! She has become addicted to the Usborne Farmyard Tales sticker storybooks! She had a real strop last night in the cabin on the sleeper because I wanted her to get to sleep and said NO to 鈥榤ore stickies, Mummy鈥 鈥. What was the first thing she asked for this morning?! 鈥榃anna do stickies, Mummy!鈥
We loved our trip to your fabulous city, Christoph! Arrived bright and breezy at Euston at 8am on Friday 鈥 hit the ground running and didn鈥檛 stop til we got back this morning! Can鈥檛 believe that our wee Highland daughter absolutely loved the hustle and bustle of the big smoke! Did sleeping on a train faze her (sharing that tiny bunk with Mummy!!)? Did the underground faze her? Did the London Eye faze her? Did the size of Westminster Abbey faze her? Did the madness that is Hamleys faze her? Did all the traffic faze her? What do you think? NAH! And everyone was so friendly to us! I鈥檓 trying to download my photos and videos to my blog, but it could take a while to get it downloaded!
Anyway 鈥 best go and see if the house is still standing after my bro and my pal being on their own this last few days! Hope you are having a fantastic time in Auchterderran, Chris 鈥 so sorry that the weather is lousy 鈥 you鈥檒l need to come back in the Summer and see Scotland at its best! Lang may yer lum reek, Christoph! Hope someone gave you a quaich!
Hugs from the windy, wet, wild Highlands, Susan >
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,
And surely I'll be mine!
And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu'd the gowans fine;
But we've wandered mony a weary fit
Sin' auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
We twa hae paidled i' the burn,
Frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin' auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
And there's a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie's a hand o' thine!
And we'll tak a right guid-willie waught
For auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
Happy Monday
Moose & BigUn, I share your trials which is why I haven鈥檛 been on here posting. I find time such a battle most days and it does make me weary. But it鈥檚 nearly the holidays : ) Yippeee!
Jax~the reason I came on today is because I read your question about Al-Anon. If I can make you go, dragging your heals if necessary ; ) I will! Seriously, please go along. Even if the first meeting doesn鈥檛 suit you, try another one in your local area. If you don鈥檛 want to share, just listen. I promise you that nobody will make you speak if you don鈥檛 want to. You will have so much in common with these people it will astound you. Alcoholism is an illness but the alcoholic can make their partner or children sick too. The best thing you can do to make yourself healthy again is to go along to al-Anon. The people you will find there are honest, kind and so, so, understanding. ((((hugs)))) x
ChrissieS .... 50 is the new 40! Just enjoy ... you're only as young as the man you feel!
We had a blast on the London Eye - hubby has vertigo so sat in the middle ... but the champers REALLY helped! Mum and I had our noses stuck to the glass trying to spot all the places we'd been during the day! Charis had NO FEAR! She laughed, she ran around ....she even had a sip (of water) from a champers galss! Check that out later on my blog!
Did you enjoy Edinburgh? We are hoping to get a trip down this winter - I'm sure Charis would love a go on the ferris wheel ... but I think Daddy will be on terra firma taking photos!
Hugs, Susan >
Ann Whitehead ... we think Chris should organise a trip for himself and his bloggers and blogettes ... and we can all come and visit you in Barbados! Hope you had a great Independance Day!
Hugs, Susan >
Just been reading all your posts back from your blog, I was going to add something but I think they have said it all
Good Afternoon All, Happy Monday xx
Chris, I was hoping to come to see you and the team this afternoon but I can't afford the time out of the office :-( Hope you have all been given a good Scottish welcome xx Looking forward to listening later xx
Hazel Love are you still celebrating? Or are you recovering? either way hope you are well and had a fab time xx
Gaby thanks for you msgs xx I hadn't realised we had both posted on the same day, I must have been typing mine when you posted..ooohhh spooky :-) My plumber is coming back today so hopefully (fingers crossed) everything should be back in place by the time I get home tonight.
Like Lyndyloo I started my birthday celebrations over the weekend. Well as it falls on a work day and I can't afford the time off I thought I would bring it forward a day or two :-)....Didn't think it was such a good idea on Sunday morning :-) Recovered in time to do my befriending in the afternoon, imagine my delete when the young boy I befriend wanted to see James Bond. I was a little bit apprehensive because everyone was saying how good it is, but I wasn't disappointed. It was fantastic, and Daniel Craig, yep he will do for me :-)
Jax - I hope all goes well for your partner at his first meeting xx Must be a difficult time for you, I think it will be good for you to attend the Al-anon meeting, having someone to talk to who understands the situation you are in without judging you will be good therapy. They all do a fantastic job. My brother is a recovering alcoholic (your the first person I have said that to) and he has completely turned his life around, he never thought he would but to this day he says the best thing he ever did was seek the help from AA. I will remember you both in my prayers. Take care xx
Keith/Moose/IanG - like you guy's I feel it's time for a change at work. I don't feel there is any challenge where I am, I do have a lot of responsibility, work long hours and get paid an ok wage. I know I will be rewarded as and when the Company becomes more profitable, I guess it's a case of whether I can be patient, which, is not one of my strong points! I'm going through a phase where one day I'm ok and the next I think right I've had enough need to get out. So I'm a bit confused as to what I should do. I have been looking, and applied for a couple of positions but didn't hear back from them. That in itself is disheartening, they should have the decency to reply even if it is to say no. As an employer I always make a point of responding.
Anyway I think I will wait and see what the New Year brings!
The McCrumble/Gaby/Moose story made interesting reading - Good luck Gaby xx
Have a good Monday
Take Care
Love Mary xx
hello Chaps and Chapettes and the lovely Chris
Ooer, I feel really not up to speed..I've missed so much..oh well, i'll be having a good catch up tonight (when the boss will not be able to read over my shoulder!)
Susan S ( and Charis) I'm so glad London was a great experience - I was wondering if the london eye would be too challenging for my 7 year old..you've given me hope!
Mary and Lyndyloo - Happy Birthday for this week, have good ones!
Dr J Mc/Gaby/Moose..you had fun, didn't you?!!
Big Un loved the cracker jokes
here's my contribution:
1. What do hedgehogs have with cheese?
Pricked onion
2. Why is the mushroom good to go to a party with?
'cos he's a FUN GI(guy) to be with
Christmas will arrive in my house next weekend Christmas cards will be made (production line style with all 3 of us doing a bit to each card..I always get the writing& posting job whereas my husband and daughter are the designers/makers) AND at her request Christmas tree up on Sunday - a good excuse to drink mulled wine /sherry/Champagne and scoff mince pies
I hope chris and team are not being too blown about over on the east coast...blimely it's blowing a gale o' wind in the borders!
Pommes noisette
Love Caroline x
Susan S,
Your trip to London sounds wonderful - I am so glad you all had such a good time! I love London - haven't been for a couple of years now (to see Elaine Stritch at the Old Vic) and the last time I went with my husband, it was just after Diana had died and he flicked a pound coin in the fountain at Buckingham Palace and said "rest in peace, babe" - first time he had uttered a single word about her!!
Yes, Edinburgh was beautiful as always. I do believe the "fair" is only there until just after New Year so you will have to brave more of the wonderful Scottish weather if you want to go!
Chris, thinking of you in the Kingdom of Fife! It must be breezy! Have a wonderful show tonight - I'll only get to hear the last half-hour.
Jax - this is not an easy road you are about to embark on. Don't want to bore you (or anyone else), but dealing with an alcoholic is so incredibly difficult. One of my relatives is recovering but it is not easy. I know something of the dilemma you are facing, especially the overdose situation - my relative has done this three times. It is exhausting in the extreme for the people who are trying to help. I do believe Al-Anon will give you a clearer picture of which road to travel - there are many many success stories. If your boyfriend really wants to stop drinking, he will, but in the meantime you have to find answers for yourself, so good luck and be kind to yourself.
Missing Chris but as always the blog is up to standard!
C xx
Good afternoon one and all
Susan S - thank you for asking about my niece Zoe - you're very kind. Here's the latest news:
Zoe came home from hospital on Friday evening - she's got to be on antibiotics for the next three months and has to have a scan on her kidneys in about six weeks' time. They're not quite sure what started the problem but it seems that there was a nasty virus rampaging through her school and unfortunately (and perhaps being female) it hit her kidneys.
Anyway, I had a brief conversation with her on Sunday morning (her evening) and she told me that she was OK, that it had hurt and that she'd had a needle in her arm. Bless her, at five years of age, she's taken it all in her little stride!! Apparently the Children's Hospital in NZ is a very good one, so she was in safe hands.
Thanks again Susan xx
Chris - we're all looking forward to hearing the show from Scotland this evening (can't spell Auchter.......) and have been looking at the photos on the web.
Happy monday to you all
jillygoat xx
Tootie - what can I say except thank you for your post. I am sitting here, at work, with tears in my eyes! (although I have to admit, it doesn't take much for that to happen nowadays). Your messgae has given me the courage to go to a session. I know I need to do something. I worry about him so much and don't think about myself and you're right, I'm suffering too. I feel so very fragile - I'm not the person I used to be and that makes me mad! Thanks again - hugs and kisses xoxoxox
So, onto cheerier topics. Our company has had a massive Christmas tree put up - decorated by Harrods (oooohh!!!). It's so beautiful - it'll make mine fade into insignificance (once it's up). Forgot to burn my advent candle last night so I have double burning to do tonight :-)
Love to all
J x
Hi, this is my first time but I wanted to share my experience with you. I've been reading the blog for sometime and noticed Chris mentioning Deepak Chopra, bought his book Seven Steps and went from there, it's really about being a better person, and by doing this you become successful. Not necessarily in a financial way but things 'go your way'. Well, I decided to leave my well paid job and am in the process of starting a dog grooming business, something that will make me very happy and I think I'm going to be a dogpreneur. I'm well on my way and whilst I really desire this, where I am now has been with the least effort and people and things seem to be conspiring to help me. Who knows what the future holds but I'm looking forward to it.
MWK & ChrissieS - thank you for your kind words. You two both me me tearful - I have to stop that! ChrissieS - is it difficult admitting your brother is a recovering alcoholic? You said I was the first person you have said that to - itr's tough saying it isn't it. Dont' really know why - are we ashamed/embarrassed on their behalf?
I feel very guilty about my thuoghts on my boyfriend. I wish I could walk away from him for good, sometimes. Other times I just want to be there for him as much as possible and wave a magic wand to make him better. My family don't want to know him because of his treatment of me in the past - it's very difficult not being able to speak to my mum about him - she's my best friend.
So, fellow bloggers, you may well be my sounding board if that's ok? With all of you and Chris' show my journey will be made that little bit easier.
And here's a little smile for you...
Did you hear about the crab who went to a nightclub?
He got very drunk and walked straight home!!
Maybe my joke shouldn't have been about alcohol considering the main topic of my post ;-)
Boom boom.
Lots of love everyone
J x
hi christoph and team.. hope oyu're enjoying your trip..
we took our girls emily and shannon to lapland yesterday, and they met the real Father Christmas..
we all played in the snow and sat on reindeerskins by the fire..
and the christmas tree is going up tonight..
oh, a joke from the girls.. "I spy with my little eye, something that begins with B.." "honey.."
remember, don't forget to put up your sock..!!
Good afternoon one and good afternoon all,
Jax - I have been sat with my fingers poised over the keys and I am struggling to express myself. I want to send you love and all good things and lots of hope that things can be sorted and happier for you. I will never forget an interview that I heard on this station. It was an interview on that show at 11am on a sunday and Mr P was interviewing a distinguished 成人快手 correspondent, who was born in London and educated in Ireland (and who has a lovely Irish accent to accompany his Irish name). He was asked about his recovery from alcoholism - he replied that he did it by taking a day at a time, for 6 years.
I hope you both find the inspiration that you need at this very difficult time.
Gaby
x
ps Jax - sorry the above is a little cryptic - it's just that I have had quite a few of my posts conviscated in the past and I have guessed that it has been when I have mentioned people by name. Although other posters do it sometimes and those posts seem to sneak under the radar. Is it me : )
Gaby - big fan of cryptic crosswords so no problem with your message ;)
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. Will take some comfort from them.
J x
me again ( oh no, I hear you cry)
Hoping Christoph is limbering up - I am looking forward to the show, as always.
Dr J McC - I have just returned from my local market town having had an unpleasant encounter with an irate shop manager who accused me of 'working her patch without licence'. I tried to explain that when I read the poster in the shop window that said 'Want to further your career and increase your earnings? Then step inside!', I thought that meant I could set up stall and flog whatever I wanted, obviously book-of-the-blog. In the 15 minutes that I had managed to set up stall next to the'Celebrity Autobiographies' section, I had spoken to 102 people, and had a superb conversion rate, attaining 75 sales from those leads. I have, therefore, completed the task you set. Thank you for the opportunity and I look forward to the 'chance to go for the big prize of Voluntary Sales Co-ordinator'
Unfortunately, the contact names and payment details of all the buyers were conviscated by shop security (aka blog police), while I was simultaneously ejected from the shop
Moose - After my episode this morning, I hope you will understand that I need to keep a low profile for a while and am now taking a sabbatical to concentrate on, not, misplacing, my commas, and to improof my speling. I apologise for my fickle switch, but in sales we have to grab what we can - who knows when another offer will come along....if at all. Please let me know when your book is complete - I should, have, my commas, sorted, by , then.
Gaby
Hi Jax, it was me who mention my brother xx I think it's the picture that society paints which prevents us from being more open and that's where some of the problem lies because alcoholism is not looked upon as the illness it is.
It wasn't an easy time for my brother, he didn't attempt to take his own life however he did suffer a couple of seizures as a result of his drinking which gave him the wake up call he needed. He has been sober for 6yrs and still attends his AA meetings.
It's obviously a very difficult situation for you Jax, I hope between the blog and al-anon you get all the support and help you need xx It's very important to find time for you xx
Take Care
{{{{{{hug}}}}}}
Love Mary xx
Mary - a thousand apologies for getting the person wrong who mentioned their brother. I hope I didn't offend.
A biog congratulations to your brother for being sober for 6 years. My boyfriend had a seizure about 3 weeks ago - I had to call an ambulance. It was all very scary - as you say though it's a bit of a wake up call I guess.
Thank you all for your thuoghts and words - believe me when they say they're the best thing that's happened for a little while.
Anyway - I feel like I have taken over the blog somewhat so please, someone post something completely unconnected that will make everyone smile :-)
I was meant to go Christmas shopping tomorrow with my mum but she fell over last night and has twisted her ankle - so that's on hold. I'm secretly pleased as I don't like Christmas shopping - I find it very hard not to buy things for myself but with 8 nieces and nephews I really can't put it off for too much longer!!
I can imagine many Christmas dos were taking place this weekend. I hoep you all had spelndid times with much frivolity and fun??
LOL
J x
L
Mary - a thousand apologies for getting the person wrong who mentioned their brother. I hope I didn't offend.
A biog congratulations to your brother for being sober for 6 years. My boyfriend had a seizure about 3 weeks ago - I had to call an ambulance. It was all very scary - as you say though it's a bit of a wake up call I guess.
Thank you all for your thuoghts and words - believe me when they say they're the best thing that's happened for a little while.
Anyway - I feel like I have taken over the blog somewhat so please, someone post something completely unconnected that will make everyone smile :-)
I was meant to go Christmas shopping tomorrow with my mum but she fell over last night and has twisted her ankle - so that's on hold. I'm secretly pleased as I don't like Christmas shopping - I find it very hard not to buy things for myself but with 8 nieces and nephews I really can't put it off for too much longer!!
I can imagine many Christmas dos were taking place this weekend. I hoep you all had spelndid times with much frivolity and fun??
LOL
J x
L
JAX - hope you are feeling a little better about things. I have my fingers crossed that things work out.
JILLYGOAT - great news about Zoe. Hooray!
CHRIS - OU EST TU?!
X
Jax - no apology needed and no offence taken xx Sorry to hear about your Mum, hope she is better soon xx
Gaby - well done! The shop security (aka blog police) were obviously on your tail as soon as your challenge was set by Dr McCrumble. :-)
Take care
Mary xx
ps. no sign of Hazel yet?
BOO HOO
My last blog was censored.I can't think why a naked man playing a guitar was in any way offensive. It was a very large guitar.
Dear Jax
My heart goes out to both you and your boyfriend on this emotional rollercoaster, made even harder at this time of year when excessive eating & drinking are very often encouraged.
I've blogged recently about a couple of very good friends who split up recently. One of the reasons the relationship went into decline is because he couldn't cope with her excessive drinking - something that I was completely unaware of. I knew she liked a drink, as most of us do, but apparently it would continue to the point of her collapsing.
Three months after their split, she has moved in with someone else, whose house in only five steps from the village pub. This does not bode well for her.
I am not just sad now, but also very worried about her. Her ex has said that he begged her to stop drinking, or at least cut down, on many occasions, but as you are only too aware, that person has to want to stop drinking in the first place.
I am thinking of you and wish you both all the luck in the world.
So Sad xx
So sad - thank you for your post. It's tough isn't it. As you said though, you can only help if they help themselves first. You're in my thoughts and I hope that your friend sees the light very soon. It's very sad but her ex must be very strong to have left her - it's a shame it hasn't woken her up. Unfortunately it has taken my partner a siezure and car crash and subsquent arrest for drinking and driving to awaken.
It seems there is an elite club made up of those who have had posts cencsored by the BP (Blog Police).
JF - great news about Zoe. May she continue to improve.
Prof Plum - maybe the BP don't like big guitars! They may be banjo fans.....
Lotsa love everyone
J x
Hi Chris, what is happening with 'whistle idol'? My eleven year old son Charlie has been practicing all over Christmas and the new year in anticipation of this event. My place sounds like an aviary when he is here and it will be great for us all when this moves on to higher ground. p.s. love the show!
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