Breaking news...following in the build-up to his goal against Tottenham, Wigan have sportingly offered to replay the game.
When I left the house at half-time, Spurs were 1-0 up and 5 live analyst Alan Curbishley observed: "I think Harry will have the more difficult team-talk." I assumed he'd been talking about Redknapp, but when I switched the radio back on to hear the ninth goal go in, I was beginning to think it was Potter who'd been handing out the oranges.
The improbable was one of those freak results that people repeat back to you as soon as you've told them. "Did you hear the Tottenham score? 9-1." "9-1?!"
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"I had a funny feeling before the game. I was given a pair of green boots and I tried them on before the game, but Clive Allen said I couldn't wear them, so I changed them. They were pinkish silver ones in the end, and I go and score five."
Jermain Defoe gives a high-five to his footwear after his nap-hand in Tottenham's 9-1 win over Wigan. Pinkish silver?
"It was a major shock to us, especially when we knew it was the heart. He's a big man so he must need a big ticker to keep him going. But it will take a lot to knock over that old elephant."
Blackburn captain Ryan Nelsen on Sam Allardyce's heart op,
"A player doesn't need to pay between five and 15% of his wages to a guy to set up a bank account or buy him a new fridge."
Players who over-use agents get a frosty reception from Gary Neville.
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As , the Irish were left reeling from .
The French striker - a little jab followed by a sly left hook - to set up the goal everyone's talking about. And I mean everyone.
I settled down to catch the end of Newsnight for a little respite from Main-Gate (I knew that O-Level French would come in handy one day) and there were the merits of a replay with Gavin Esler.
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Yes the quoters have been quoting, the chanters chanting and the stadium announcers announcing once again - although the international break means there's a little less to get your teeth into this week. Please leave any witticisms you may have heard at the bottom of the blog, or if you're not yet signed up, .
"I offered to shave off my beard and put on some make-up and then I'd have looked like my missus!"
Derby County's Robbie Savage after turning up at the airport with his wife's passport for a friendly in the Netherlands.
"Romario, Ronaldo, these were unbelievable players...some of the things they could do with a football made your hair stand on end. Me? I'm not even as skilful as Joe Cole!" Wayne Rooney is not ready to make up the three Rs ahead of England's game with Brazil.
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As , there were giant-killings galore in the FA Cup.
Northwich Victoria led the way with a , described by one embarrassed fan as "like having a row with your missus in public".
groaned after the game: "Nothing to shred/punch/kick/break/sold my old Slayer stuff...so I thought I'd have a nice bath and now the damn water has gone off...nothing, nada...no pressure at all and it appears it's just in my house as the neighbour's water is fine...so ends a terrific day :( "
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Yes, it's that time of the week again when we discover what sporting folk have been saying, football fans have been chanting and announcers announcing. Please add your gems at the bottom of this blog and we'll include the best next week. If you're still not blogged up and insist on going down the old school route, use the postform by
"He'd clean my shoes, make me cups of tea and even came to one of my fan club afternoons...he may be a global superstar but has he ever sold out Discotheque Royale on a Sunday afternoon?"
Lee Sharpe on the days when he was king and David Beckham was his bootboy.
"He's stopped putting things in his throat basically. It's quite simple. I'll take a leaf out of his book!"
Steve Bruce on the secret to Andy Reid's new slimline look.
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With finally entering the world, there was only one name on everyone's lips - the
As snappy titles go, it's right up there with Monty Python's , and a band that used to gig round my way - .
McLove on the messageboards said: "Your owner needs to be sent naked from the town on a donkey", while Slim Fella over on site observed: "The guy just needs to make them wear red noses and green wigs on the pitch and his job will be complete."
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As you may have noticed, the Quotes of the Week format has been tweaked to incorporate it into this blog. The idea is that you add any decent quotes/chants/banners/announcements you may have seen or heard and the best ones will be highlighted in next week's.
Anyone who is not signed up to post on blogs for the next couple of weeks but after that we'll just be taking comments on the blog. So without further ado, here's Frank Lampard to kick us off....
"With and without the ball at the moment we're very on the ball."
Frank Lampard has a ball after Chelsea's thumping of Bolton. .
"Yeah, next week's game is important. If we lose next week we could be relegated so it's going to be a desperate week."
Spurs boss Harry Redknapp with just a hint of sarcasm when asked on Match of the Day whether next Saturday's game against Sunderland was important.
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I am a journalist with ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ Sport, dealing with the more offbeat stories doing the rounds. I am a QPR fan - and also quite fond of football. If our new-found wealth brings success I'll be happy to tell anyone exactly where I was when we were sh... rubbish - row J seat 139. .
