Professor Green - 'Monster'
Oh now this IS interesting. A Professor Green song which is not largely dependent on a sample from an older hit song, a chance for him to stand on his own two feet and put something which is wholly new out there into the world, now that he's got a bit of a platform to stand on and a LOT of people are listening. Here's the song which is designed to firmly cement the Prof in everyone's mind as a force for good in the world of music. Here's the song which says he can do it on his own. Here's the song which...well...does anyone else feel like something is missing?
I can't quite put my finger on what it is, either. I mean the Prof is the Prof innee? You either like that evil pixie voice of his or you don't. And if you're at all offended by his one-liners - the Peter Andre one is a particular favourite of mine - you'll have been just as irked by 'Just Be Good To Green'. But I'm not and I wasn't.
And it's not the lack of Lily Allen which is the root of the problem either. She did bring a fantastic face-slapping counterpoint to his daft bragging, but I think we're all old enough and clever enough to deal with someone showing off, aren't we?
(. That's not really Pixie Lott.)
So, what's the problem? It's got a brilliant breakbeat thing going on in the verses, it's got the silly horror movie theme going on in the lyrics and the Prof's got that strange voice of his. What could be dragging this down?
Well, could it be that the chorus is pure Flo Rida? That would do it, wouldn't it?
And not even good Flo Rida, like 'Club Can't Handle Me' Flo Rida, this is ba-aa-ad Flo Rida. The kind of Flo Rida which makes you wish for a world in which Flo Rida and things which sound like Flo Rida would just be the stuff of chilling bedtime stories. The kind of stories where you warn little children that if they don't behave, a man with a drawn-on beard will come out of their speakers and sing in an annoyingly robotic voice about girls. That kind of bad Flo Rida.
Now, because I hold these extremities of opinion about the one song, I have decided to hold fire and let you, the song-buying public, be the judges, by sending this song right up to the very top (end) of the charts. My reasoning being, for a song which contains a lot of great stuff, and a chorus - by Example, apparently. And he's normally very good too - which is only annoying if you're me (and let's face it, you're not), there should definitely be a chance for Green fans to send it right up to the very top, and rub it in the faces of all the haterz.
Trouble is, it came out last Monday, and, well, have you seen this week's Top 40?
It's that Flo Rida effect, I'm telling ya...
Download: Out now
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(Fraser McAlpine)
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