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(. I'll be honest, I was knitting while I watched it.)

Now, to justify this damning assessment of a new artist's breakthrough single, I was about to say that there is something too snoozy, too lily-livered about it to get the heart pumping. Actually, the problem isn't with something IN the song, it's with what is missing.

Structurally, that bass-led one-chord groove at the heart of things is perfectly nice. There's a pretty synthy mist that hangs over proceedings which recalls some of the Pet Shop Boys's frostier moments, and Alex has a soft, plaintive croon which suits what he is singing about pretty well.

But after the first minute or so, nothing happens. We just go round and around on the same eight bar of well-mannered, polite synthpop. Oh sure, there's a breakdown section, but it's not particularly arresting and comes across as a transparent attempt break things up and then drum up some interest in the return of that bassline again. A bassline which has been used to fuel the verses and the choruses, like Alex left a loop playing, wrote four or five melodic ideas over the top and arranged them in order of interest.

Other artists have done this and come back with songs of great power and mystery. Alex has come back with a song which will allow me to finish this paint-by-numbers recreation of the cover of the first Arctic Monkeys album (1 = grey, 2 = slightly darker grey, 3 = darkest grey etc), without going over the lines, and for that I'm grateful.

Download: Out now
CD Released: March 29th

³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)