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Jesse McCartney - 'Leavin'

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Fraser McAlpine | 10:26 UK time, Monday, 2 June 2008

Jesse McCartneyAs wannabe-sexy lyrical openers go, you can't really beat the second line of this song. Jesse may claim to have been watching you all day long, but is it really you he's got his eye on, or has his attention been taken by something else? Let's see, shall we?

"Man that thing you got behind you is amazing
You make me want to take you out and let it rain"

That's right, he's been looking at the umbrella behind your back. Or the pac-a-mac you have attached to your belt, in a practical and yet stylish fashion. He's totally obsessed with the damn thing. Which is sort of sweet, but hardly the most romantic come-on in the world, surely?

Oh wait, he means something else? Something a bit further south than your belt? Blimey, how forward!

And isn't it nice how he shows total respect for your emotions? I mean there he is, talking about your bum (or umbrella, let's not rule that out just yet) and telling you you need to go back to your boyfriend and tell him he's totally dumped because you've met a pop star who happens to have taken a shine to your weatherproofing.

Never mind the years/months/days/hours (delete as applicable) of mutual love and support the two of you have shared. Or the countless times/time that he has been THERE FOR YOU when THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL. Jesse wants what Jesse wants, and everyone has to just fall in line.

I mean sure, Jesse claims he wants to take you outside and make it rain, but is it the same kind of rain? Jesse's rain seems to be like a sexy rain (and there's no WAY I'm going to try and list all of the different and disgusting kind of sexy rains he might mean), and that's not the same as loving you, supporting you, and protecting you from everything life has to throw at you.

MInd you, he is quite hot, innee? And the song's alright, in a plasticated Sean Kingston sort of a way. So maybe you should get your wellies on and go for it after all.

Also, I can't be the only person who is tempted to follow the bit where Jesse sings "I'm leeeeavin" with "ON a jet plane, don't know if I'll be back again", can I?

Oh.

Three starsDownload: Out now
CD Released: June 9th

(Fraser McAlpine)

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