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Dizzee Rascal - 'Dance Wiv Me'

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Fraser McAlpine | 09:53 UK time, Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Dizzee RascalThere's a brilliant, but quite disturbing shot, around 35 seconds into this video, and it occurs just after Dizzee has finished telling the lady that he has his eye on that he needs to "get behind" her "backbone". Suddenly there's a cut from barside Dizz - on his feet and pumping his groin suggestively - to tableside Dizz, leering into the camera with a facial expression which can only be translated as "hurr hurr hurr! That's right, I maded a booty joke! Booty means bum! You know what I'm talkin' about! Hurr hurr!"

Frankly, it detracts a little bit from his otherwise confident delivery and cocky demeanour...

This is followed, a mere 15 seconds later (or so), by the weakest bit in the whole song, where Dizzee attempts to get away with rhyming "dance floor" with "dance floor", but fails.

You would think a rapper of his considerable experience would know better. Has he never heard of the rule of three? Has no-one ever told him that If you use the same word twice in a rhyming scheme, it looks like you couldn't think of anything better to say, if you do it three times, it's a theme, and therefore clever? Well, assuming that Mr Rascal is a devout ChartBlog reader (and who's to say he isn't? I know I am!), he can now consider himself told.

(There's loads of other examples of , particularly in comedy, where you act like you're listing a series of examples of something, and the third one is deliberately very different for comic effect. It doesn't work if it's the second one, or the fourth one. And I have no idea why.)

Anyway, I mention these two endearingly rubbish aspects to this multimedia package only because they are the two things which are in any way wrong with it. Everything else is brilliant, from Calvin Harris's old skool electro-disco backing to the octave leap whoops at the end of each line in the bridge (that "she ain't no hoooo" / "she's good to gooo" bit. Genius, it is).

And it's solved a key problem with Calvin Harris, which is that he tends to have one good idea per song, and stretches it a bit too thinly each time. Whereas the introduction of randy old Mr Rascal and his formidable flow has effectively cleared Calvin out of the way for most of the song. So when he does pop up, it's like seeing an old friend who you know gets on your nerves if you get chatting for ages, but you're pleased to catch up with from time to time.

So, no matter how tempting it may be to apply the rule of three to the star rating in a clever, self-referential, witty sort of way, common sense is going to have to prevail.

Well done everyone!

Five starsDownload: Out now
CD Released: June 30th

(Fraser McAlpine)

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    From one who loves music - it's interesting.
    From one who loves dance- it's a challenge
    From one who loves the English Language
    - it's a headache!

    Kids "Dance WITH me" WIT H note.

  • Comment number 2.

    What utter nonsense this video is. Mimicking American culture poorly, the sooner this pop phase dies out the better. It's responsible for so much of what's bad about music and society today. Like so many phases in music there are innovators and then there are what comes after. Dizzee is far from an innovator just a cheap copy of a poor import.

  • Comment number 3.

    Why has anyone not pointed out that he sounds, well, really thick. Let's face it, he can only sell records because a lot of the RnB and Rap audience of the UK is the chavvy spectrum of kids, who are equally divvy, and if he couldn't sell records, he'd be a floor sweeper.

    It was funny, however, to watch him explain to Gordon Ramsay in the F Word why his record label's logo was a pile of dogger.

    Not deserving of a number one or it's five stars.

  • Comment number 4.

    Are you proposing an IQ test before you're allowed to make or listen to music?

    Presumably this would include some element of means-testing, so we could keep the 'chavvy spectrum' out. They'll only make the place sound untidy.

    Let me know how the plans go. I'll dust off my top hat...

  • Comment number 5.

    Darn, you're right. I can't compete with top hats :(

    ...unless I can find a monacle

    I didn't say that the music was unintelligent, I mean I couldn't produce a track like that (well I'm not a producer), but just pointing out, that he's not the brightest.

    And I stand by the last bit, I don't think it's as good as some of the other songs that where in the running for top spot this week. I would have even preferred to have seen any of the other top ten tracks this week or last to replace it.

    If only we could sweep the chavs away. If only.

  • Comment number 6.

    hey im a chav haha nt weeley i h8 dem der so cocky omg they make me angry

  • Comment number 7.

    ive never heard such a pile in all my life
    not worth number 1
    or 5 stars

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