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Nevertheless, against my better judgement and even my deepest-founded prejudices, I have found that nearly universally I have not only enjoyed Ms Nash's singles when I accidentally hear them but have even bought a few of them. This kind of dualised self-loathing consumerism is not only brutal but also slightly worrying on a psychological level. Maybe it is all just a compulsion due to drugs in the water. Maybe the government wants us this way in order to distract us with the meltdown of our cognitive functions as we wonder why, why 'Foundations' is one of our most played songs. Maybe this really is just me, actually.

Even so, 'Merry Happy' continues this cerebrally horrific trend. The spiky piano reminds me of something - I'm not sure what but I know I hate it and even though this song could fall into my very favourite musical genre ever, Emo In Disguise, I despise it to the very depths of my black, unforgiving soul.

Its upbeat, repetitive bounce makes me want to rip my ears off and I would rather chew off my own hands than even mention the "doo doo doo da-doo doo" vocal loop. I don't even know if this song has a video, since the internet seems unable to furnish me with decent evidence for the existence of such a thing* but I can guarantee that if it did it would make me want to die.

AND YET HERE I AM SINGING IT. SINGING. IT. ALONG WITH IT. I have listened to it ten times this morning and with every play it becomes more despicable and with every play I sing along to more of it. I must admit that I sort of like it. I like it in a complex and hate-ridden way that makes me angry and disappointed at myself at the same time as sort of bouncing in my chair. I haven't felt this emotionally polarised since I ...well, I can't quite think of anything that emotionally polarises me like this.

Maybe really bad-taste comedy and maybe that is what this is. If so, full marks; just like bad-taste comedy it has made me hate and re-evaluate myself and it and maybe most of the rest of the world and just like bad-taste comedy, once you hear it there is no way you can go back from your knowledge of its existence. You know what, that metaphor about watching a sunset on your own in the chorus is actually bloody good; I can enjoy a Kate Nash song, I can enjoy a Kate Nash song on my own but DEAR GOD, don't ask me to tell anyone.

I hate this for its cataloguing of my own life. I hate it for its resemblance to what would happen if I tried to write a pop song. I hate it because of myself, Kate Nash fans and that is important. You may like it because of yourself. Maybe psychologists will find it useful as a test in future assessments. Just remember that whether it fills you with bile or makes you, the listener, Merry Happy you will be singing it in your sleep for the next year and whether that process makes your mind turn into frightening hate-sludge is up to you.

Download: Out now
CD Released: March 24th

(Hazel Robinson has gone for a lie down)

* I've checked, it doesn't. - Fraser