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Fergie ft. Ludacris - 'Glamorous'

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Fraser McAlpine | 10:13 UK time, Friday, 16 March 2007

FergieAha, I was wondering how long this would take. After all, if you have a glitzeriffic music career, there's only a finite amount of time you can go before you release one of those records that goes "don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, can you pay my bills 'cos I'm still Mariah from the block in thrift-store hotpants and a three-dollar weave!. Y'know, the ones that go on to say "I'm still so real it hurts, and at night I cry, cry, cry in my lonely heart just like everyone else. Because I'm just like you! Don't be frightened! I'M HUMAN!"

So this would be Fergie's attempt - at pains to let us know that she may indeed be flyin' first class, up in the sky but she's not going to be changed by the experience - she'll still wee her pants in public just like the rest of us. (Cheap shot, sorry.)

I must admit, I have a lot of love for the line "I'm still real, no matter how many records I sell" - the very epitome of the "I'm just like you, only much much richer and way more famous!" school of songwriting that people should probably avoid.

Still, as songs of this nature go, it's not that bad. It's quite smooth and seductive and makes the hop betwen sultry and word-spewingly funky quite adeptly. The trouble is, it's a little on the dull side. There are much better tracks on your album, Fergie, and I'm sure you know it. Put all that money to better use and hire an entourage who will tell you to stop releasing the self-indulgent filler tracks and get 'Clumsy' out to radio already.

Three starsReleased: March 12th

(Steve Perkins)

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