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The news that Wyclef Jean's not going to be the next President of Haiti - something about him not actually living there, apparently - brought to mind some other short lived political careers of people whose day job involved cavorting on a stage. Who can forget Joe Strummer's manifesto in the New Musical Express ahead of the general election in May 1979? Certainly not the person who sent him a death threat as a result of reading Joe's views on Northern Ireland. It put Joe (and the rest of The Clash) right off the idea of coming to Derry for a free festival that summer, which was fair enough, I suppose. I don't think Joe was ever serious about running for office, of course. That manifesto thing was probably an NME inspired wheeze, which must have seemed amusing in the office in Carnaby Street. Much more practical was Jello Biafra, who got as far as standing for election as mayor of San Francisco in 1979. Bear in mind, at the time, he was the singer of a band called the Dead Kennedys. That was a tasteless enough name before he decided to enter politics, but it didn't seem to be an issue in the campaign. His most famous policy was that businessmen should be forced to wear clown suits within San Francisco city limits. He lost the clown vote as a result and came fourth. A few others have dabbled since but never the ones who would have been worth voting for. I would love to have seen Joey Ramone towering over the Presidential podium taking questions from the White House Press Corps, with Dee Dee as Secretary of State. I wouldn't have let either of them anywhere near the nuclear button of course. That would have been safe in Johnny's guitar case.