³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ

I have to assume Tony Parsons went on Celebrity Mastermind solely to benefit the charity Scope. I always thought that he'd left his gunslinging days at the NME far, far behind him, in his new role as successful 'sensitive chap-lit' author. Judging by his performance in the black leather chair this week, he has.Ìý
I know its one thing to answer the questions sitting on your own sofa and another to answer them sitting under the studio lights with John Humphreys staring at you. (My brother Martin was once a contestant, successfully answering questions about the films of Steve McQueen in 1980, so I have it on good authority that it's nerve shredding.) But Tony did miss some easy ones.
Ìý "London Lady was the b-side of which early Stranglers single ?' asked John.
"Peaches" said Tony.
OK, I can forgive him that. He was a journalist at the time, and I assume he didn't actually go out and buy the single in a shop, so didn't go through the whole ceremony of studying the picture sleeve while it played on the record player in the front room.

"What was the name of the single released by 999 in January 1978 although it failed to chart ?" said John.
"Pass" said Tony.
Yes, he can get away with that one too. No one paid attention to 999 singles.

"Which band was originally called 'The Nightlife Thugs' before their singer chose their new name from a phrase in the autobiography of Woody Guthrie" asked John.
"Pass" said Tony.
Don't know what's going on there. The answer is, of course, The Boomtown Rats. But I would hesitate before admitting that I knew that. The Boomtown Rats? Who's setting these questions? So I assume that Tony, who looked very cool in his skinny tartan tie and still impressive haircut, decided to pretend he didn't know anything about Bob Geldof and his pyjama wearing cohorts. Better looking stupid than outing yourself as a Boomtown Rats fan.
But there's no excuse for what followed. You might want to look away now.
"Which Manchester venue hosted a gig by the Sex Pistols in June 1976 that inspired the formation of bands such as Joy Division ?" asked John
"The Hacienda" said Tony.
Sorry, Tony, no excuse for not instantly shouting out 'Lesser Free Trade Hall' before adding 'And did you know that the Buzzcocks played support that night , John ?"
Still , it was good to see the words Tony, Parsons and Punk in the same sentence on the TV. I remember his Clash interview in the NME of 1977, when it was required reading. He even survived being married to Julie Burchill. Welcome back to the fold, Tony.
(Grip and Emergency. In case you wondered.)