成人快手

The Chive do this better. Chive on!

Gosh Ben you are a hotty.

Good luck with the challenge, can't wait to see the same photo in six weeks.

Don't listen to anyone who has a problem with you blogging about this Ben; I wish you the best of luck. It'll be painful but try to enjoy it if you can- it'll be seriously rewarding come the end.

i didnt know you had moobs.....

Go for it. It would be good to know how he gets your general fitness back up.

Good luck Mr Dirs - love the photo! You look a bit gangster.

Haha, considered making a generic post mentioning licence payers money, just so others wouldn't bother...great blog Ben, and great idea - have often wondered how much difference these regimes could have on mere mortals, but what will be more interesting is whether or not they're feasible for people with lives to do. Looking forward to reading about it!

I did something very similar just after new years:

RESULT!!

Are you going to give up the fags, Ben?

Good luck ben...I have a question though, ultimately how much would this consultation cost for the everday man on the street???????????

I think I remember throwing that sofa away.

Can you be a bit more specific about what the regime entails? I'm in similar shape to you and need to fend off a mid-life crisis. A health obsession might be just the ticket.

Good blog Ben.

I'm in a similar position in that I'm getting married in 8 weeks and I too need to lose a bit of poundage (about 10 lbs). God knows how I'm going to do it...so I wish you luck!

What sort of breakfast are you eating if you can't have carbs?

Good idea Ben, I look forward to the regular updates.
Suitably inspired, it's time I shifted some timber.
I'm wary of some expert advice though, as the guru's often contradict each other and their plans are often very specialist so it will be good to see how you get on.
Good luck.
I will be tracking my progress here -

Good luck with it all Ben, I admire any man in his mid 40s taking up such a challenge.

By the sounds of things, a few people going to be shadowing your progress Ben, so the more detail the better I reckon - these boards will feel like a KFC Anonymous Support Group in a fortnight...

Ben,

you already have the looker of a boxer...

....the one who lives two doors down from me and keeps barking all night.

Good luck to yourself and Stan in moving that awful sofa...

Great idea Ben. But don't stop blogging after your 6 weeks. Even if you do achieve the 6 pack, I'd be interested to see how long you manage to maintain the new healthy lifestyle. Best of luck anyway. & can I suggest you replace the pic of you on your byline with the one of you on the sofa with the fag & pint. Class.

Don't get me wrong. I loved that sofa. Probably too much which is why I'm here asking questions.

I have to admit, my favourite part of this blog is the link to the Oldtime Strongman blog, amazing!! Great background knowledge BD!!

(PS Where has Fordyce gone? Nothing from him in almost 6 weeks!)

Great article. Will definitely inspire people (me) to get in shape for the summer. Good luck pal

Bit disappointed by your photo. You look in pretty good shape to me. Hardly any beer belly and moderate moobs .

As the laziest person I know, I wish you all the best. I鈥檓 going to have to quit the booze and fags soon and get my 鈥榓rris in gear. Pass him my number鈥�

@jamesbaker1979: I'm guessing eggs feature highly as a breakfast food on this regime.

Good luck Ben! (And, in an off topic way, congrats to Fordyce :) )

Haha Dirs good luck fella, I get the feeling this guy's gonna need more tricks than Harry Potter to sort out that physique but good to see you giving it a shot. Looking forward to following the progress as well, the blogs are always very enjoyable.

Good luck Ben, great opportunity.
Look forward to reading the blog updates.

Good luck Ben. I had a similar reality check following a visit to the doctors in August last year. I was told I was very unfit, two stone overweight and needed to do something about it. Went running the next day, and have been at least 3 times a week ever since.

Basically, I make sure I get up about 25 minutes earlier than I normally would and go for a 20 minute run down the street and back. Easy, free, and going before work means I don't spend the day coming up with excuses for not going. I lost the two stone within three months and have plateaued at a weight that allows me to eat what I want as long as I keep up the regular exercise. No six-pack, but much healthier and fitter.

@jamesbaker1979

1) Lift weights
2) Follow lifting with cardio, build yourself up slowly
3) Eat healthily - only carbs after workouts

You can lose 2lb per week like this!

Breakfast without carbs means eggs - omelettes, scrambled egg in the microwave (don't worry about fat content). Alternatively get yourself a blender and have a milk, banana, and frozen fruit smoothie!

Will you post the programme/regime he has you on?

Good luck Ben, really looking forward to hearing about your efforts :) Also, can we have another clue about the acronym please, it's driving me nuts trying to work it out... x

@ Liz - try reading it backwards... ;-)

Read it from back to front Liz and you'll get there, tempted to put a smiley face at the end of that but it then looks like I'm revelling in someone else's misery and I would never do that, not to their face anyway

I am an idiot. Thank you both. *Hangs head in embarrassment*

ZIL TI TUOBA YRROW T'NOD.

It'll be interesting to see how many other people are inspired by BD's efforts. It's ideal weather for getting outside to do some exercise now... says he sat at his desk unfortunately.

Good luck Ben, I would also like to wish your friends and family all the luck in the world, when your lack of carbs results into uncontrollable rage.

.OT TUO TI KROW OT GNIYRT SAW I ,TOIDI YLNO EHT T鈥橬SI ZIL

Ben - I went from 18.5 stone to 14 (60lbs lost!) over this last year or so 1) to do london to paris cycle ride and 2) for my 4yr old daughter (I was so unfit I could hardly play with her - I hated it - every weekend was a wheezing enditement of me being a poor daddy)

stick with it: it'll change your life.

Also Ben, could you please provide us with a current Tale of the Tape鈥� Height, Weight, Body Fat % etc

Just for scientific 鈥渂efore and after鈥� reasons of course.

Ben

I have always found your blogs funny and interesting (how I would have liked to have been with you and Tom in France for RWC 2007!), and this is a great topic so I'm looking forward to seeing the results. I did a dry Jan for the first time this year, changed my diet and hit the gym and have lost 1st 3lbs, but more importantly have toned up and feel much better. I hope you get similar results.

Cheers

P.S. Congratulations to Tom.

For the purposes of scientific comparison, do you have an identical twin brother who could set about doing the exact same exercise regime but without all the pills and special diet to see whether they're actually doing anything (particularly the pills)?

Ben - you're absolutely right, my grip has been gotten.

Dunc - thanks fella, at least we're together in our idiocy :)

As someone who has witnessed the usual Dirs regime over the past five years - often from inside the same campervan - I'm both pumped and a little bit scared by Project Rebuild Dirsy. Will a man in many ways defined by his fags, moobs and fear of exercise be the same character when you take those pillars away? He's already bought a bike off me, a sentence many thought impossible. Good luck, Benjamin - and even more good luck to Matt Lovell...

Ps thanks for the Young Fordyce congrats. It looks like a Chinese Dirsy. Which worries me.

Good luck mate; I'll be following your blog with interest.

the program costs 拢37 i think:

Dirsy - not sure if you're aware, but Jonny Wilkinson's fitness record int he last 6 years is shocking, in no small part down to his frankly stupid training regime. If you are getting injured for 8 months at a time, it's a clue that you can't handle yoour training regime. You can have all the cardio in the world, but if you are working your muscles too much then it won't matter. There is such a thing as being too in shape.

And I do normally like your blogs Ben, but I have to ask, and have to demand an answer to this questions - whats the flippin point? So you are getting fit. And? I'm supposed to care about your BMI why? I don't mean to sound callous, and if it stops your rocketing cholesterol levels then great, but honestly, is there nothing more interesting to blog about? And do you seriosuly think people will continue to relate to your slightly-aggro everyman schtick if you are a toned and supple athlete, rather than a gruff stocky boozer. This could be professional suicide. Do you really want to turn into an annoying, smug, self satisfied smoothie sipping health freak? Cos you are on the slippery slope.

So just to balance out all the positive messages, I would like to say that I hope this experiment ends up with Ben taking refuge in a B & B somewhere in Kent, existing on pints of Quantro and Guinnes. And don't be so condesending about Darts players, they have feelings too you know. And have you seen Andy Fordham recently? Losing weight didn't do him any favours did it.....

I tried to do this a couple of weeks ago, going on an extremely low carb diet and believe me its ****ing awful and difficult. Simple foods which you enjoy are all gone. If you try this at home the hot food deli at most supermarkets will become your best friends.

Basically start the day off with scrambled eggs (I really struggled with this I hate them, so tried various different receipies to help along, settled with some milk and orange juice wth a bit of sugar).

Dinner time tended to be cooked chicken legs/thighs from Tesco/Asda.

Tea was normally beef with a bit of green vegables/salad. No spuds/rice or pasta.

Sure there are a lot of protein shakes in there when Ben will complete it however I'm trying to buy a house so didn't have the resources to splash the cash on them.

Good Luck to you and watch out for the after-gym Carb/sugar rush. Do not go anywhere near anywhere which has donuts, it ruined me.

Best of luck Ben with the programme, hope it works out the way you want it to. I was wondering though if you have any particular goal at the end of it.

When i started training a few years ago i set myself the target of doing the Connemara half marathon in under 2 hours (which i just about managed).

Ben - as you replied directly to me, therefore validating my otherwise pointless existance, I'll publically throw my support behind this venture 100% (whilst in private willing you to fail miserably).

On a serious note though, one point that I would venture you are missing - the average out of shape reader will not have access to dieticians, personal fitness programmes etc. Would have been a more interesting challenge to see you combine efforts to get fit with a 8-6 working day, plus kids to look after.

Essentially, as it is, you are seeking to prove that a man with nothing to do all day can get fit in 6 weeks with the help of Olympic standard dieticians and training regimes- I don't think anyone really doubts this. As much as you would seemingly like to think otherwise, in the whole grand scheme of things you are not the most unfit, malnourished and overweight person out there. It will not be a miracle for you to get fit in 6 weeks.

Don't commit professional suicide, dirsy. Brilliant.

was mildly interested in this blog, mainly as some mens mags promise this kinda thing every month, but then i saw the photo and felt like someone had taken one of my photos and put it in your blog!!!!! rapidly ascending the 40 mountain and tired of telling me 'you should have seen me in my twenties"!!! so will follow with interest, have tried the no carbs thing but keep tripping over them by accident and stuck with a big 'DOH' moment!!! looking forward to seeing that bantam weight body next month.

Hi Ben,

Matt's business partner here.

Sounds like you are doing well on Matt's program

With all this support behind you and eyes and ears everywhere that will help keep you on track.

@viewfromverve

In matt's plan you can eat a curry if you fancy it but you just need to have veggies with it instead of rice and a naan and a couple of bottles of kingfisher. It's not a low carb plan like the Atkins, there are lots of foods you can eat as much as you want of (veggies like salad, broocoli, cucumber, cauli, cabbage etc) and is pretty simple to follow.

We'll get Matt to stop by and post some comments to any questions that may come up.

@jolshopsatoxfam

nutritionist and dieticians are too different things. A nutritionist in the UK doesnt require a qualification, anyone can call themselves a nutritionist. Now this guy Matt must be good as hes working for such big clubs and individuals but like he mentions, the stuff hes saying isnt rocket science....eat less calories than you consume and you will lose weight, etc. to be honest google could provide the same information to a general degree. i think the point of the blog is show that a little hard work and effort and its easy to shift any excess weight.

on a personal note. i wish ya the best of luck ben. you should put up a before and after photo :P

This sounds like the plot from a Kung Fu film.

Our hero is badly humiliated (though haven't we all at some time or another?) on the battlefield and seeks out the knowledge of a renowned master in order to gain his revenge...

I hope this blog will cover the what happens next bit, another poolside holiday in Tenerife, perhaps reminding the local totty of famous boxers?

I just hope for your sake that it isn't Joe Bugner.

I seem to have been following Matt's plan without even knowing it exists - apart from the exercise bit that is - and it's dead easy. I never eat breakfast or lunch and have hardly any carbs with my only meal of the day. I've absolutely no idea what my BMI is, although I think you'd have a job to say I was in any way either underweight or overweight but, at the age of nearly 50, I still wear the same size trousers and shirts as I did when I was in my early 20s and playing various sports on a regular basis.

Did Matt Lovell suggest you have an ailment? Looking forward to the blogs, avoid the lahmacuns of the streets of London- continually my downfall due to their inexpensive convenience.

"Eat Yourself Fitter."

No, it's not possible. But it's a great piece of music by The Fall.
Something to listen to, as you do the exercise that will get you there.
You're welcome.

"Eat Yourself Fitter."

Doesn't work does it? What if you eat human brains? Hasn't done Ian Dowie any harm.....

"Lovell furnishes me with meal ideas and exercise regimes, before loading me up with supplements - fish oil capsules, vegetarian tablets, magnesium and zinc pills" - if one of the objectives of the blog is to prove you don't need training regimes and dietary supplements etc, then it's odd that you have made this your first port of call, thus failing in one of your objectives.

I personally think you've made this too easy, so therefore I feel it's my duty to try and set up some opposition and conflict ( so you can triumph over it)

"Drink Yourself Fitter" ?
Perhaps that's been Mark E. Smith's approach....

In my experience, I've always found it harder to gain weight than lose it. But I guess that is my metabolism.

And regarding your comments about supplements not being essential, I would strongly recommend you have take some whey protein. Not only because it is healthy and a great source of decent calories, but because in addition to weight training, it should ensure that most of the weight you lose is fat, and not muscle.

Hi Ben,

Firstly, great blog and the best of luck with your journey. Secondly, I'm intrigued about what your fitness regime and diet entails in much greater detail - hoping this will be provided in later blogs...

As someone who has a decent level of fitness (two marathons in the last 12 months) but works long hours I always find it hard to add anything more than a 3-4 training sessions a week. Did you get any specific advice about how to cope with fatigue and when to time your training sessions throughout the day/week?

I appreciate you're probably trying to add the first 80% to your levels of fitness and diet whilst I'm looking for the last 20% ish but I'd love the chance to get advice from someone like Matt as you have, so anything you have learnt, please pass on!

Anyway, all the best, and keep us posted.

M

It's the open ended nature of fitness that gets most people. You start out with an objective (in this case to get fit), you complete your objective....and then for some people it's like "alright, what now?"....just being fit is then not enough, so you need another objective - where does it end? and then they start to lose the plot and forget why they wanted fitness in the first place. Either that, or they go onto becoming total health freaks and develop lyrca fetishes.

Fitness is evil I tell you, pure evil.

Exercise can very quickly become highly addictive. Goodluck anyways :)

Best fo luck Ben! Hope you reach your desired weight!

Good luck Dirsy!

Hopefully I'll be able to get a few tips off you. Need to get in shape for college reunion football match. A nice bod might help on sunny beaches as well :P

Well done Ben. I did the Atkins diet a few years ago. It worked a treat... for a few weeks. I remember the buzz I got when I gave up moaning about the things I missed and started enjoying feeling better having lost a tidy amount of weight, and my moobs!
Enjoy the experience.

Just curious but will this fitness regime do anything for your rapidly receding hairline?

to Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man,

just wanna say......that is the best tag name...i love it :-D

Oh and really irritating little tick - you know the one where yu close your eyes and scrunch your nose. I wonder if piles of broccoli will cure that.

"made me look as bad as humanly possible"

Hmm... ...might've strayed a bit beyond human, methinks...

I'd be very interested to hear more detail of exactly what your diet is, Ben. The words "no carbs" caught my attention.

As a recently-diagnosed Type 2 diabetic I am finding a low-carb approach works well for controlling my blood sugar. I'm very much missing those cakes and biscuits, but the fear of what they'll do to me is enough to keep me on the straight and narrow. So far.

As almost a side-effect of this new diet, I have lost loads of weight, but I've reached a point where I don't want to lose any more. With reduced carbs I'm simply not getting enough calories, but I'm afraid of eating "too much" fat or protein (those GDAs are ingrained in my mind, I'm afraid).

All those green veggies are fine (I'm almost growing to like them) but even mountains of them add up to precious little in terms of simple calories. Any advice?

Even if the only result is that you get off the fags, it will be worth it.

Can anyone tell me what a "vegetarian tablet" is?

Brilliant.

To get a real indication of how much difference all this makes we need to arrange for the reverse experiment to also be performed.

So we need to get Jonny (or some similar specimen) to eat/drink what Ben used to, take up smoking and stop exercising.

The really depressing bit is that I bet they'd still stay pretty fit and brilliant.

Hi Ben !
I lost forty pounds on the South Beach diet ( a non ketosis carb managed diet like you seem to be on) nine months ago. I also re-started running and playing squash like I did year sago ( I'm now 47). I felt amazing, not just physically. That I did something MYSELF about my physical condition was really uplifting. I was proud. And It was nice buying clothes I liked rather than ones that fit that happened to be on the rail !

I will say though despite all these benefits the diet is so blummin' BORING after several months. Eggs for breakfast every day gets really old, and there's a reason people eat so much pasta, bread and starch: it tastes and feels great. Also the regular exercise is really boring when you're not competing in meaningful sport.

I've gone off the wagon a bit lately and put five lbs back on, but that is going as soon as I get home from holiday.

I wish you well, feller, and will keep my eye on your blog. Reading this has inspired me to go back ON the wagon., And watch out for boredom with the diet kicking in !

Ah congratulations to Mr. Fordyce! I'll let him off the lack of posting then ;-)

I'm loving the image of a 6-weeks-later Ben Dirs becoming an exercise-crazed loon, professional suicide committed, career down the drain, but with a beautiful six-pack. You have been warned Dirs, beware.

And I can't believe this incredible hypocrisy: you say that you want to go to a nutritionist, get all the advice and the plan, then tell us all that advice and the plan so we can do the same program without the expensive trip to the nutritionist.....then you do just that?? My god man, how can you live with yourself.

Yours disgustedly.....

Lets take a man.. call him Jols shop at ActionAid.. or something equally as worthy. Let me describe his attitude as utterly pathetic and neutered. A pointless man of no standing or capacity who achieves little and leaves the Earth a waste of everything because he is scared and afraid. 'Oh but I have a family' he cries... blah blah blah... so does the rest of the world. It's not an achievement. Please sit on a bonfire. Thank you.

Good for you Ben! I await future postings with interest.

Do you think though that the DEPMUD TOG I trauma may have had less to do with your physique and more to do with your terrible taste in lampshades (behind you in the photo)? :-)

Will be really interesting to monitor your progress via your blog. As a very active sports person and trainer, i find that dieting is by far the hardest aspect of training. Perhaps hearing your struggles and how you dealt with them will give me some ideas!
If you would consider doing a little piece on the supplements you used during the time, it would be very interesting. I find a lot of clients have limited, if any knowledge on exercise and diet supplements, let alone when and why they need to take them.
Good luck, can't wait to see the gradual results!
Word of advice, get other people to evaluate your physical progress, it sometimes becomes hard to notice appearance changes on yourself when you see your reflection multiple times a day!

jolshopsatoxfam's moment of enlightenment will occur in the seconds after Ben Dirs slots home the world cup winning drop goal.

why dont you:

cut out booze, fags and fatty foods
excerise more

thats what everyone else does and guess what, it works.

Ben .. good luck to you mate .. I have embarked on a similar thing .. staring with the couch to 5k running programme (I'm now on week 4) coupled with periodic weekly cycling and cutting down on bad carbs .. even the ale .. which I love.

It isn't easy .. I'm almost 56 now and I gone from area schools 400m champion and playing 3 games of rugby a week at 17 to doing almost stuff all exercise these days.
I hoping to not only stem the tide but turn it too.
JM

Great work Ben, I for one am thoroughly enjoying your Mission Impossible blogs. I鈥檝e also found them pretty motivating. Keep up the good work, and keep blogging it. I am almost a week into the intensive phase, and after pretty bad carbohydrate craving and lethargy at day 3, I am now feeling better than I have in a while. I will be interested to hear how your transition to the next stage goes. Also I am having trouble sleeping occasionally, I would be interested to hear Matt鈥檚 comments on that.

Oh, and how is that 6 pack coming on?