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The celebrity psychologist tells you how to improve your focus.
Raise Your Game: Is it getting increasingly difficult to focus?
Dr Linda Papadopoulos: One of the hardest things to do is keep up with all those things that are trying to take your attention, whether it's TV or computer games, or trying to pay attention to your friends and your teachers at the same time in school.
We live in a pressurised society that keeps telling us what we should be doing and what we should be achieving. It becomes more and more difficult.
RYG: How do we learn to improve our ability to focus?
Profile
Name:
Dr Linda Papadopoulos
Born:
3 February 1973
From:
Canada
Position:
Psychologist
Achievements:
- Cosmopolitan magazine's resident psychologist.
- Regular appearances on Big Brother (UK).
DLP: It's great to get into a habit when it comes to taking time. Your mind will pick up on cues.
Studies show that, if you take an exam in the same room as you study in, you often do better. Your mind says 'Red pen, I remember reading page five when I saw that red pen,' or 'Window, I remember thinking of point number three when I saw that window.'
You need to be able to recognise when your body is and isn't relaxed. Once you know what triggers anxiety and increases your heart rate, and what lowers it, then you're better able to cope with things.
When someone says to you 'relax' the first thing you do is stiffen. It's really important to be able to understand what that means. Relaxation is very important, but stress is very important too.
Stress is what makes you study before an exam. Relaxation is what allows you to focus enough to be able to write in the exam. The two work hand in hand together. It's about being able to understand all that and find a balance.
RYG: You may not be an elite performer, but how important is it to take confidence from small achievements?
DLP: Society is set up so that we compete against other people. That's sad, because ultimately we're in competition with no-one but ourselves.
If you look at anyone who's done something amazing in their lives, they understood that their best time was the only time they needed to beat. They understand that their 'A' level grades are what's important, rather than how they compare to the person next to them.
You're in competition with who you are, not with everybody else. Don't waste time looking over your shoulder to see what everyone else is doing, it's about where you're at. That's a huge lesson to learn.
RYG: How do you stop people holding you back?
DLP: Don't internalise other people's negativity. If they ask you how you've done, feel free to be honest. Don't hold back because of modesty. Say to people 'I've prepared, I'm going to do my best,' and leave it at that. The less you engage with negativity the better.
RYG: How do we go about managing our time effectively?
DLP: When we take on challenges it's hugely important to be focused. By the same token it's hugely important that we're able to distract from that focus and take some time to just 'be.' You need to be strict in allocating yourself some time off.
If you study for four or five hours, then schedule in an hour's break and be strict about taking it. Go for a walk, speak to your best friend, or have a long bath. The brain works better when you're able to move from one activity to another.
People studying for their 'A' levels and GCSE's tend to do better when they spend a few hours on one subject and move onto another one. Make a habit of scheduling in some 'me time.'
RYG: Everywhere we look we're confronted with images of celebrities with 'perfect bodies,' how do you go about loving who you are regardless of your size and shape?
DLP: One of the problems we have in today's society is that health and beauty seem to come in one shape and size. That's problematic because we all come in different sizes. To be able to feel good about yourself you need to see that your kind of beauty is represented. That's something that the media really needs to work on.
A garden is filled with flowers that are all different but beautiful. A rose is different to a sunflower, a sunflower is different to a carnation, but they're all beautiful in their own way. A basketball player will never be a swimmer and a swimmer will never be a race car driver, they all have different body types.
What they've learnt to do is say 'I'm going to celebrate my smallness, my bigness, my tallness, my strength, my speed, my flexibility, and I'm not going to try and be somebody I'm not.' That's what makes the difference between a human being that celebrates who they are, and therefore is very good at what they do, and someone who's always trying to play catch-up with somebody else.
RYG: Finally, if you're picked last in games at school, what should you say to yourself so you can move onwards and upwards?
DLP: Some people are always going to be more talented than others. By virtue of that fact, when it comes time to chose, some people are going to be left at the end of the line. I was one of them myself.
What you need to remember is we're all good at different things. You may not get picked first for dodge ball, but when it comes to things like drawing, music, English or maths, that could be your thing.
Remember, you don't have to be good at something to be able to enjoy it. Society is very goal orientated, so you think you've got to be the best. It can be quite fun having no expectations about how you can play. If I ever scored a goal I had a much bigger cheer than anyone else (laughs). It's important to enjoy taking part in something, regardless of whether or not you're the best at it.
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