Something On My Heart
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"We prayed, 'Lord, mend him and bring him home.'" Doris shares her thoughts and feelings on the difficult time surrounding the birth of her son.
Transcript
"Well, I went all through the Battle of Britain. During one of the raids one night, I was standing against the window - there was a wash basin - and I was cleaning my teeth. And a bomb fell right outside. We all rushed for the air raid shelter, and I tumbled down the stairs. So we don't know, we don't know whether it was that or not, that caused the problem. I shouldn't have thought it was though.
Just before Robert was born I came home to my Mam's - I didn't want to come back mind, but we couldn't get a house anywhere there. When he was 12 weeks old, he was - we took him to see a specialist, and they didn't let us take him back home. He had to stay in the Royal Gwent Hospital. He was in there for about three months.
We prayed and prayed and prayed, 'Lord, mend him and bring him home.' And I didn't know, behind it all, was this handicap. I'd learnt my lesson there, though, because when my husband died - and he was only 52 - I'd come down one night from upstairs, and in the kitchen, there was a window in the roof. I came downstairs and I broke down in crying, and I looked up through that little window and I saw a great big moon. And I said, 'Lord, if you want him more than I do, you must want him a lot,' and he was dead the next day.
I just said 'Your will be done'. I could see that I was selfish, but I didn't say that when Robert was there, did I? I, you know, thinking that he was a little flower, and that God could have wanted him in his garden. He was mine, and it was so hard, and I couldn't see no sense or reason in it, could I? And when I went to the baby clinic, they said 'He might not walk, he might not talk.' He stands up now in Chapel, you know, when they say 'If anyone got something on their heart that they'd like to say? Don't be afraid, get up!' Well, Robert's up first.
I know there's heartache all the time, wondering what will happen when I'm gone. But I can't show that to him, I got to be happy and outgoing for his benefit, haven't I? And he's lovely, you'd love him if you seen him.
Laughter"
An interview with the author
Please tell us little about yourself.
I'm 83 years old. I've lived in my house for 60 years. When I'm planted I stay - I grow roots! Before then, I was in London, but left when I was expecting Robert - he's my only son. Robert has lived with me his whole life. He's a great help to me. I like knitting, I go to church three times a week and I love to decorate wedding cakes.
What's your story about?
My story's about Robert. From when he was born to our lives together today.
What did you find most rewarding about the workshop?
I enjoyed the workshop immensely, but to be honest, there's not much that I don't like! I loved seeing Robert's pictures on the big screen - that was special.
Your comments
"I have ataxia and am confined to a wheelchair. The story you gave is an inspiration to me. Even though I lost my name sake in WWll, I know all is well in God's creation."
Dr. David C. Rutledge Lincolnton, NC USA."Doris Cole captures the prue essence of emotion and history with such capativing skills, I pray she writes and tell us more and also encourage her generation to do the same.Wonderful! Suzanne."
S. Steelman, NJ USA."Lovely. Love conquers all. What a beautiful laugh this lady has."
Kathy, Brisbane, Australia.
