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With bright lights, crowds, unfamiliar noises, routine changes, and over-excited family members, Christmas can be an overwhelming experience for children and adults with sensory sensitivities. But there are ways you can steer through the disruption and keep the Christmas magic alive.

We鈥檝e got a Santa鈥檚 sleighful of useful tips from both parents and experts to help you manage the overload.

A nervous-looking child in a Santa hat holding a present
Image caption,
Don't feel pressured to have a large and loud celebration just because it appears others are.
Corrine and Luke with their children and a visit from Santa.
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鈥淔ind ways to make Christmas special that work for you and your family."

Christmas can still be special but keep it as relaxed as possible

Corinne and her partner Luke have three sons, Caleb (6), Roman (4) and Hugo (3). Caleb and Roman both have autism. Corinne is also waiting for an autism assessment herself.

鈥淭here are so many expectations and pressures at Christmas. My advice is do it on your terms and try not to worry if things don鈥檛 go the way you hoped.鈥

Keep things familiar and relaxed

鈥淭o minimise surprises, we stick with our routines during Christmas, otherwise it can lead to meltdowns and everyone feeling dysregulated. So, we鈥檒l have mealtimes at the same time and the boys still eat the foods they鈥檙e comfortable with.

鈥淲e limit other people coming to our house and make sure that if anyone does want to see us, it鈥檚 only when the boys feel comfortable.鈥

Gradually introduce festivities

鈥淥ur boys are very aware of changes at home, so we鈥檙e careful about not springing anything on them. We keep them aware, step by step, of what鈥檚 going on. We gradually introduce decorations 鈥 they help us put them up and we spread them out so none of the rooms are too crowded. And instead of one big and overwhelming reveal of presents, we stagger them, give the boys as much time as they need, and make sure gifts are unboxed and ready to go with batteries if needed. This way, we avoid frustration and anxieties around getting things out.鈥

Corrine and Luke with their children and a visit from Santa.
Image caption,
鈥淔ind ways to make Christmas special that work for you and your family."
Three children standing in front of a mascot elf at a Winter market
Image caption,
Events in the morning or evening are likely to be less busy and crowded to attend

Adapt traditions to stay in your comfort zone

鈥淔ind ways to make Christmas special that work for you and your family. Not all children with autism like lights, but mine do, so we have sensory festive lights up in the house. We also give the boys a Christmas Eve box containing small gifts like pyjamas and books. It introduces what's going to happen the next day in a slow, easy way.鈥

Find SEN-friendly festive events

鈥淲e try to avoid busy and hectic places 鈥 if you do need to get out, my advice is to go for early mornings and evenings. Look for Christmas events like Santa meet and greets that offer special educational needs sessions, this way your children get a real festive experience but in a quieter and less rushed way.鈥

Relax when your plans change

鈥淲hen the boys were younger, I spent so much time imagining the perfect Christmas Day. But I鈥檝e learned that it鈥檚 best not to heap too many expectations on yourself. Accept that things won鈥檛 go a certain way and embrace it.

鈥淚f your child is happy to see Santa and get all the pictures, then that鈥檚 great. But if they are struggling and you have to leave early, that's totally fine too. Go easy on yourself.鈥

Three children standing in front of a mascot elf at a Winter market
Image caption,
Events in the morning or evening are likely to be less busy and crowded to attend
Two children in Winter jumpers. One is wearing a Santa hat.
Image caption,
There's no 'right way' to do Christmas but planning and flexibility can help keep your little ones smiling.

Make your own festive traditions

Andi and his husband Darren have two adopted children 鈥 a 3-year-old son and a 5-year-old daughter, who has been diagnosed with autism, sensory processing disorder, fetal alcohol syndrome and other invisible disabilities.

鈥淚t may be a joyful time of the year, but your child鈥檚 sensory issues don鈥檛 suddenly disappear at Christmas. If anything, they鈥檙e heightened. As much as we鈥檇 love a big, busy family Christmas, we are led by what our daughter is comfortable with.鈥

Keep things as 鈥榥ormal鈥 as possible

鈥淐hristmas is usually the four of us doing regular Christmas things, but they鈥檙e dialled down. If we see family members, then it's usually for an hour or so. We have presents in the morning but without a fanfare 鈥 and sometimes we space them out over the day and maybe Boxing Day too. When it comes to lunch, our children love a roast dinner but we don't go to town 鈥 just a few Christmassy touches.鈥

Flex around different needs in your family

鈥淚t鈥檚 really important to us that our daughter is included in everything we do. But it has to be meaningful for her. If we know she's not going to enjoy an activity, then one of us will stay home with her, while the other takes our son.

鈥淲e don鈥檛 view this as excluding her from things 鈥 it's actually much kinder for her to be at home and feel safe with one of her dads. At home, she can do an alternative activity that is fulfilling.鈥

Do your research about festive events

鈥淔ind out if there are SEN sessions for festive films, Santa meets, or pantomimes, which are set up to reduce anxieties. We tend to go to Santa鈥檚 grotto at a garden centre because it鈥檚 a tranquil place.

鈥淲e鈥檙e going to a panto this year but rather than a SEN session, we鈥檙e taking another adult to help manage our daughter鈥檚 needs. I鈥檝e booked seats next to the aisle and I鈥檓 planning to speak to theatre staff beforehand to explain that our daughter may have to leave and come back in. If you have a child with additional needs, I鈥檇 encourage you to have these chats 鈥 in most cases, people are happy to help.鈥

A Santa's Grotto family photo
Image caption,
Attending events as a family is fantastic, but knowing when one child will be happier staying at home means flexibility is key.

Use calming techniques that work for you

鈥淟ean on any tips and tricks to diffuse anxiety 鈥 it takes trial an error to find what works for you and your family. For example, if we need to go somewhere potentially hectic, we鈥檒l work out when the quietest time is and take a buggy for our daughter. We鈥檝e learned that sitting down reduces sensory input and grounds her, and she can cuddle her comforter or blanket if she wants.鈥

Go for minimal, indestructible decorations

鈥淥ur daughter can sometimes be quite impulsive and throw objects. So, we go minimalist with any decorations, apart from a few things placed high up. And we make sure anything that鈥檚 within reach is indestructible 鈥 soft toys and cushions are perfect because it doesn't matter if your child wants to move, cuddle, or throw them.鈥

Communicate with loved ones

鈥淏e open and honest, explain that they need to be flexible about Christmas plans. Don鈥檛 worry about letting anyone down, they鈥檒l understand. Ultimately, your child鈥檚 needs are the priority.

鈥淚f we鈥檙e invited to someone鈥檚 house, we find out how many people there鈥檒l be and what kind of event it is. This way, we can make an informed decision about going. It is always with the caveat about seeing how our daughter is on the day and that one of her dads might stay home with her, while the other attends with our son. If people come round to us, we ask that it鈥檚 in smaller groups and that they鈥檙e mindful of their excitement levels.鈥

A Santa's Grotto family photo
Image caption,
Attending events as a family is fantastic, but knowing when one child will be happier staying at home means flexibility is key.
Dads Andi and Darren with their two children
Image caption,
鈥淟ean on any tips and tricks to diffuse anxiety 鈥 it takes trial and error to find what works for you and your family."

How to have an autism-friendly Christmas

鈥淭he main thing is not to feel pressured into doing things just because everyone else is doing them,鈥 says Tom Purser, Head of Guidance, Volunteering and Campaigns at the National Autistic Society.

鈥淚t鈥檚 absolutely key for parents and carers to think about ways to enjoy the festive season that work for them and their families. Good planning and small adjustments can make all the difference. Every autistic person is different, so it鈥檚 really important that there鈥檚 no pressure to do Christmas the 鈥榬ight鈥 way.鈥

  • Get support to take the pressure off. Wherever possible, involve your family, friends and any support services in your festive plans.
  • Clear communication is key. When you talk to loved ones about how you will be celebrating, remember there may be certain things they may not fully understand鈥 This includes the complex issue of presents 鈥 the number of them, the wrapping and unwrapping, and the expectations around how to respond.
  • Use visual aids such as calendars, lists and schedules to help plan your Christmas. Try and plan for the whole break; that way, you can give yourself a couple of quiet days to recoup if needed.
  • Think ahead about any sensory sensitivities that could cause you or your loved ones distress or discomfort and what can bring relief. For example, you may want to consider ear defenders, or turning off the Christmas lights at times of overload.
  • Make sure there鈥檚 a quiet space to relax if someone鈥檚 feeling overwhelmed and stressed. This could be a completely Christmas-free area.
  • Check with local venues about their Christmas events. Even if they don鈥檛 have specific autism-friendly times, you can ask the best time to visit when it鈥檚 quieter or less busy.

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