Move over milestones, now it鈥檚 the turn of 'inchstones' which sees you celebrating the tiny triumphs in your child鈥檚 life.
From first words, to learning to walk, there are plenty of developmental milestones for your baby or child to reach. But while those amazing 'firsts' are incredible, there are lots of smaller, everyday wins that often fly under the radar.
Until now, that is. That鈥檚 because celebrating these 'inchstone' moments - from your baby getting their first tooth to your toddler getting to grips with potty training - is growing in popularity. So much so, that many are now considering inchstones - already a term often used by parents of children with additional needs - as one of the biggest parenting trends of 2024.
Mental health specialist Raoul Lindsay says, 鈥淪ometimes in life we see big achievements as our definition of being successful, but actually there are things we all do on a day-to-day basis that you can be proud of too.
鈥淵ou don鈥檛 need to reserve praise for massive achievements that can take months or years. And it鈥檚 the same for parenting. Celebrate the little wins as they are available more readily, and more often, than the big moments.鈥
Here鈥檚 all you need to know about this year鈥檚 inchstones parenting trend鈥
What are inchstones?
Unlike 鈥榤ilestones鈥 - they are small moments that until now, you might not have celebrated.
It could be your baby sleeping through, or your toddler getting to grips with potty training. Whatever it is, parents are increasingly looking for ways to mark these mini-triumphs with anything from monthly progress cards to first tooth parties.
What are the benefits of inchstones?
Marking these everyday wins can be extremely beneficial for parents and children alike, says Raoul. 鈥淥ur babies and children grow so fast, and change so quickly. We might move on to the next thing, without even really marking that they鈥檙e now dry at night or that their reading has improved.
鈥淚t鈥檚 so important to stay in the moment with our children and slow down time. In cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) we talk about mindfulness and how important it is to be present and enjoy each little step. Celebrating inchstones is a way of focussing on your child and keeps your eye on those smaller moments.鈥
It鈥檚 also a way of taking the pressure off the bigger developmental milestones. 鈥淧arents often worry whether their child is developing at the rate they should be鈥, says Raoul.
鈥淲e鈥檙e often led to believe that children will gain certain skills and develop in the same linear fashion: walking by this age, or saying this number of words by this age, but this isn鈥檛 always the case.鈥
鈥淎nd that can be problematic as it takes away from the individual child and puts a weight of expectation on them and their parent.
鈥淢arking their inchstones is a way of being proud of all sorts of smaller triumphs that your baby or child achieves and being excited by them.鈥
And he adds, 鈥淵our child鈥檚 inchstone may not be a physical, emotional or motor skill but it鈥檚 still a key moment for you and them.鈥
How can I celebrate inchstones?
It鈥檚 up to you! You could try鈥
For babies鈥
Many parents have chosen to celebrate their baby's first tooth. Why not throw a little party for your baby and their friends鈥 or their teddies.
For toddlers鈥
Potty training rewards are a hit with parents and toddlers. And they don鈥檛 have to be expensive - simply fill a jar or bag with little rewards, from edible treats like biscuits to coloured crayons for their drawings.
Top tip: wrapping these treats up makes them even more exciting for your child!
Another idea is to make inchstone reward charts with your child. This can be a fun activity if you鈥檙e trying to celebrate mini-milestones, like your toddler trying a new food or learning to share. Raoul adds, 鈥淭his helps your child enjoy little rewards for those small-but-amazing moments.鈥
For older children鈥
At this age, Raoul says just noticing your child's inchstones can be enough. He says, 鈥淧raising your child can have a big impact on them. Acknowledging and celebrating their inchstones could be as simple as saying, 鈥榊our reading is really improving, well done鈥. By doing this, you鈥檙e helping them be proud of themselves in normal, frequent moments and this can be really beneficial.鈥
Raoul adds, 鈥淭hink of the weight of expectation you have on yourself as an adult - it鈥檚 huge. As parents we want to try and model to our children that even the little moments are to be celebrated.
鈥淚 run therapy sessions and ask people to tell me something that鈥檚 happened in the last week that they are happy about. Often they鈥檒l find it difficult, and say something like, 鈥楾his sounds silly but I slept well last night鈥. I always explain that if it鈥檚 made them feel good and happy, then it鈥檚 a moment to be celebrated. And that鈥檚 the same with inchstones for children, especially as they get older.鈥
