Only the most undemanding tot will tolerate Five Children And It, a suffocatingly twee and unrelentingly tiresome adaptation of the 1902 novel by Railway Children author E Nesbit. With wooden child actors playing second fiddle to an unlovely creation of Jim Henson's Creature Shop, it's sure to be more punishment than pleasure for audiences. The sole bright spot on a lacklustre canvas is comedian Eddie Izzard, whose semi-improvised contributions as 'It' - the film's 8000-year-old, wish-granting fairy - recall the inspired lunacy of Robin Williams' genie in Aladdin.
Updating the action to World War I England, director John Stephenson brings an element of Bedknobs And Broomsticks to Nesbit's gentle yarn, with Izzard's dino-like Psammead, or sand fairy, filling in for Angela Lansbury's witch. Stumbled upon on a secret beach by five London evacuees, sent to live with their dotty uncle (Kenneth Branagh) in his dilapidated mansion by the sea, this cranky creature agrees to grant them one wish a day. The catch is that the magic wears off at sunset, leaving them no better off than they were before.
"THANK GOD FOR IZZARD"
Of course, it's not enough for the kids to bring T-Rexes to life, sprout wings, or have their household chores carried out by an army of doppelgangers. They have to learn something as well - preferably about self-sacrifice, responsibility and the importance of family. OK, so no children's picture would be complete without at least one trite moral. But it's the stuffily stentorian way the movie hammers home its messages that irritates, the various action set-pieces doing little to dispel the general air of Victorian fustiness.
Thank God, then, for Izzard, whose cheeky, anarchic performance brings a welcome note of subversiveness to these tame proceedings. Whether humming the Countdown theme, breaking wind, or making fun of the obligatory fat kid, his 'It' is a hit.
Five Children And It (2004)
