成人快手

There was a point in my life when I DID make a conscious decision to become a hermit. :-)
Even as a wee girl I liked my solitude, preferred being alone to being in crowds, and besides, being bookish was considered odd.
I never cultivated the social graces the popular girls did....I can get by in most social situations, providing I just `sit at the back` and keep quiet.
But there are disadvantages if folks want me to take a more active role.
One of these is that I tend to say what I think. That doesn`t always go down so well, if you`re being honest and others aren`t.;-)
You ever notice how the bulk of folks wear masks in order to display to the world at large the image they WANT to be seen by others?
I used to wonder why that was...was it because they thought their true selves wouldn`t be judged as `good enough`? Or because they had things to hide and didn`t want others getting close enough to see that?
Or was it fear of a kind, so that if they presented themselves as `someone else` it would be easier for them to vanish should the outside world get too close?
Now though, I just don`t care. :P
One of the things I noticed very early on in life is that people seem to constantly play games with one another, not the fun kind either!
Saying one thing, meaning another, that`s one game.
Insincere flattery, for whatever reason, that`s another.
Simple cruelty born out of boredom, that`s a particularly nasty one.
There are lots.
But I watched them being played out and decided, also early on, that I didn`t want to play.
So I learned plain speech, blunt talk, but that`s when I also found out, most folks don`t appreciate it, not really....for those of you blunt talkers out there, you ever notice that folks SAY, `give it to me straight, I can take it` but when you do, they find they didn`t mean it after all, and they hate you for it?
Crazy, huh?
The world`s a crazy place, right enough.

So I thought, be a hermit. :-) Stay mostly to your own self, that way you`re not going around unintentionally insulting folks, they don`t get under your skin with their silly games, and you get simple pleace and quiet.
A simple life, see, should never be underestimated....others can see it as boring, sure enough, but if it satisfies you, then so what?
Life is complex enough without making it so.
So there I was, just coasting along, being a hermit...rarely touching the outside world, because what I saw of it never really appealed...keeping myself to myself and not being hurt by it through the scorn at my lack of social graces...
enjoying a simple life, not bothering anyone, just getting on with your own stuff.
All good. :-)
Then a peedie whiles down the road and you find you stepped into the waters of the outside world more than you thought you had...and that you hadn`t really changed over the years!
So you STILL have no social graces..and folks still notice that and delight in telling you..
so you STILL notice the masks folks wear, the games they play, and still don`t want to play....
And you start to think, maybe I got in over my depth and maybe I should swim back to the shore of hermithood again.

So in true Hermit fashion, I thought I`d set out the pros and cons of hermithood and see what`s what....:-)

Pros....Solitude. I Iike solitude..it`s not the same as loneliness, that`s an enforced thing, but a chosen thing that gives you peace and respite from an often frantic, manic world.
Invisibility....folks don`t notice hermits overmuch. Which is a good thing if you`re uncomfortable being put under a microscope. So you fade into the background.
Simplicity...I`m a great believer in keeping life simple. The Fates throw enough shi...erm....hassle...at us throughout our lives, why court more?
A simple life is a good life, far as I`m concerned.
I`m sure there`s more pros but often they are too subtle to put into words adequately, or they`re too personal to share.

Cons..Loneliness..if you don`t court that solitude then you can feel awful lonely...oh but wait a minute there`s that `lonely in a crowd` thing....so maybe this isn`t really applicable just to hermithood...
ok..now I`m confusing myself!
Invisibility...yup, I know it was in the pros section, but sometimes life intrudes on you and you need to sort it, but when folks don`t realise you`re there, you have to yell helluva hard to get noticed.
Um...right..can`t think of anymore cons.

The Pros have it. :-)

So I might just go back to my Hermithood big time.
Dark winter evenings spent by the side of the stove, courting warmth and drowsiness with a good book read by lamplight, or at the spinning wheel, listening to the quiet thrum of it turn, being hypnotised by the rhythm of it.
Very early mornings before the world around us wakes, still dark, but calm and hushed and vast out there, with only the sound of the sea meeting the shore to intrude upon my ears, or the wind picking up and rustling the now bare branches and twigs of the rose hedge. And looking up at the sky, painted with starlight and so huge it can make you feel either part of something awesome or so insignificant you want to crawl under a rock, depending upon your mood...
hey, you want solitude? Go outside under a dark clear sky and look up....
And I might `hibernate` this winter, spend days baking or gutting cupboards that got too cluttered, like life, over time.
Or stitch myself another medieval gown, just because I want to, no particular reason, old faded linen, softly coloured embroidery, jewelled bright trimmings and fur cuffs.
I might even get back to the lovely old art of proper letter writing, pen and paper, there is nothing like the feel of good quality paper and a sharp nibbed fountain pen to let the words flow like honey into cream upon that blank white sheet.
Though, given the state of the post office, I might have to resort to carrier pigeon if I want to send it anywhere....

I was once accused of burying my head in the sand, being a hermit. Of `running away` from the world.
But that wasn`t, and isn`t, true. The world finds you no matter where you go. You`re always part of it. You can`t escape it.
But you CAN choose how much of it you let rule your day to day life.
I`ve never run away from the problems life has brought me.

But I do choose to say `Enough` sometimes. And being a hermit is part of that.
So if you want to chat? I`ll be by the stove, the kettle hissing softly ready for tea or coffee, take your pick. There`ll be a soft glow from the lamps, and maybe something warm and fragrant in the oven.
Beside the couch, covered in sheepskins and warm and cosy and comfy, there`ll be a small pile of books, well read, well loved, old friends.
And on the floor a basket of sewing, ready to dip into whenever I feel the want.
But you`ll have to knock hard. Because the door will be shut to keep the outside out. And the curtains will be drawn to keep the heat in and the room cosy.

Yup....I think the Pros definately win, don`t you? :-)