成人快手

Now that summer is a-cumin in, the weather improves a wee bit so as friends can actually plan tae travel tae the wilds o` Orkney without needing a bucket for the boat or valium for the plane. Well, in theory the weather calms doon...in reality, I hae seen snow in June up here, and right noo the weather is giving us rain o` pre-flood proportions...so ye never can tell...

We hae a flock o` visitors coming tae visit us ower the summer months. I always look forward tae it...being a hermit means, I dinnae go oot ower much so am always happy for others tae come visit me here.
Given me interests...history and reenactment...I have devised a good nights entertainment for some o` the visitors.
We have a building tacked onto the main hoose, it was the auld original hoose afore they built this one in the thirties for the local schoolteachers. It has thick walls, one tiny window and the most beautiful flagstone floor wi` a vast open fireplace.
So, what better, I thought, than a medieval feast? (Aye, my mind doesnae usually work the same way normal folks does....that really was the first thing that came tae mind!)
So it`ll be getting red oot (Scots for cleaned and tarted up!) and the fire will be lit...here is one o` the problems, but no` an insurmountable one....the grate is huge, how tae find enough wood and logs tae burn all night on a virtually treeless island....
and the main room will be dressed wi` a large dining table, draped chairs, and candles all ower the place.
On the menu will be roast duck (me own) and venison (bought in frae Scotland, distinct lack o` deer in Orkney although I`m led to believe they did once live here) with roasted herbed vegetables and home made bread,cheeses and fruits and plenty o` mead and whisky.
Next I just have tae get the music sorted, so am looking aroond for something suitable for a medieval feast. Suitable attire will also be arranged, as will some games and pursuits....we will be at the crossbow practice in the garden...luckily all but one o` me friends hae done this afore so are good at it...and there will also be an axe throwing competition, wi` a bottle o` mead for the prize.

See now, I ken how tae mak visitors work for their dinner....;-)

Well, it`s only a few weeks away frae now, so I have tae get scouring the beach for any stormblawn wood for the fire.

I did think o` acting as the traditional medieval jester, but I only ken one joke and have told everyone it quite a few times ower......