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16 October 2014

Hermit Life


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Planes, Trains and Automobiles...

Aka, the wee island plane, the odd car or twa, and the boat....
For anyone wha kens or has watched "Father Ted"...I`m convinced I live in an alternate reality on the real Craggy Island...here`s an example o` why...
Yours truly and the other half had prevailed upon a couple o` very obliging, patient friends tae run us up tae the airfield on Sanday (it`s twa fields at the back o` oor hoose, but longer by road) and tak` oor car back hame so as we didnae need tae leave it at the airfield a` weekend.
Fine, that.
So they chapped the door a peedie while afore we had tae go, and we left and went tae sit ootside the gate and wait for the plane. And we waited. And waited. Nae plane. Nae nice folks wha` open up the airfield gates tae let us passengers get on the plane. Naebody at a` aside frae a few flocks o` geese and the odd car passing by and most likely thinking we were tourists sightseeing the Sanday airfield.
Come the time we should hae been tak`ing off, I turned tae the other half and suggested I might...just might..hae gotten the time wrong....it disnae help that in such situations, I tend tae get fits o` the giggles....such is me life, wi` so many "Father Ted" moments, that I often find it funny...others dinnae always though....
so we phoned hame, spoke tae the son wha` looked at the timetable for me and said, "Aye, ye`ve booked it off last months (now defunct) timetable..."
So back the car oot o` the car park and hare off hame tae log online and see what the richt time was...
The Loganair timetable online is no` the most easy thing tae read, ye ken....but we checked..the plane would be leaving in aboot fifteen minutes...
"Whit?! Fifteen minutes frae noo!?"
"Aye..ye better shift then"
So a` o` us traipse oot tae the car again and hare on back up tae the airfield.
Yours truly has a phobia aboot flying..I`ve done it often enough but will never like it. Up sae high wi` nothing concrete under you`re feet...it`s just no` natural...
so it was wi` some trepidation I watched the wee island plane swoop doon tae the airstrip and then tak` off again wi` the engine revving...."Oh great," I thought, "he kens it`s me and disnae want a quietly hysterical passenger on his plane" but no, he was scaring the geese off the airstrip. Off flew the geese, roond he veered tae come back in tae land, back flew the geese, so on wi` the engine revving again, and off they flew again. They are just no` feared o` the "big bird", they geese....
So bidding fareweel tae oor friends, wi` mony apologies for the running aboot and confusion ower timetables and suchlike, we boarded the plane.
And tae be honest, it was a` fine enough, even though wi` sae many windows there`s no much tae look at apart frae "doon", until we got near Kirkwall airport, when the plane started tae shoogle that much I thought me teeth might rattle oot me head...
I tell ye, it`s a richt guid job they provide sick bags in thon wee pockets on the back o` the seats...onyone wha has ever been on a rollercoaster ride will ken the feeling....
"A bit bumpy" is how other folks will describe it, wi` typical Orcadian understatement. "the plane ride frae hell!" wid be my words for it....
But we got there in one piece.
I had a braw time at me lassies, seeing the grandbairns again is always a treat. Comes the time for her tae bring us back intae toon tae catch the ferryboat (for we werenae able tae book the plane back, it being fu`...) there was me daughter, twa wee grandsons wha both need carseats, yours truly and the other half a` fairly squeezed intae her wee car like sardines!
It`s a guid job I hae lost weight recently!
At least the ferry wasnae too bad, despite the frothing churning sea. Or maybe I was just sae glad no` tae be on the plane, I just didnae notice....
And throughoot the whole weekend it blew and poured doon...even though I sat and watched on the weather how the rest o` the UK was basking in summerlike weather for the bank holiday weekend.
I hae a friend doon sooth wha said tae me, "I never ken what Orkney looks like...there`s always a wee cloud ower it on the weather map!"
One thing I hae noticed aboot the weather reports on television...they rarely get it right....
even, dare I say it, the 成人快手...they will often stick the word "Breezy" ower the north coast or Orkney and Shetland. While we`re having a Force 9. Whit dae they think a gale force wind is then?
But all in all, it was a grand weekend away. Folks on mainland were busy painting eggs and getting ready tae roll them doon hills, bairns everywhar seemed tae be coated in easter egg chocolate and grins. Daffodils were in bloom even if they were being pelted by the rain and flattened by the wind.
And sitting in me livingroom last nicht, I watched the island plane come intae land wi` a shoogle or twa in the wind, and thought, "I ken what that feels like!" and was glad tae hae me feet on Terra Firma.
Noo, it is back tae work, being up tae me oxters in sheepskins and coohides and cockerels tae be necked and soup tae be made.
And for Father Ted fans, in typical Mrs Doyle fashion, "Ye`ll hae a cup o` tea will ye no`?"


Posted on Hermit Life at 07:45

Comments

Quite hilarious, Hermit. # By the way, is it the custom (in the UK? on the islands?) to roll the painted boiled eggs down hill? Is it a communal/village thing, or does each kid (or kids in a family) just do it with the grown ups watching and helping? Here, we end up eating the eggs, or feeding them (at least I do, anyway) to the dogs. # Too bad we don't have Father Ted programming here.

mjc from NM,USA


Aah ye will, ye will, ye will, ye will..... It gives a whole new meaning to necking, I will never think of it in the same light again. In fact, I think I'll move to winchin' instead!

Flying Cat from The Hutch


Can you translate: "So they chapped the door a peedie while..." What is "chapped the door"? I've heard it before but dinnae ken what it's aboot! (Being American and all...)

Michelle Therese from Mainland Orkney oan the fairm


"chapping the door" just is Scots for knocking on the door. ;) If ye chap something, ye are knocking on it. mjc, if ye can get hold o` any Father Ted I can thoroughly recommend it, it`ll have ye in stitches. Each family tends tae roll their ain eggs, me being heathen doesnae have that much tae dae wi` it beyond recognising the egg as a symbol o` birth and fertility along wi` that other Oestre symbol, the bunny...me lassie was nice enough tae buy her auld mam a lovely chocolate rabbit this year.... och FC, it`s been mony a year since I was winchin` (or wenching, if ye are Scots) but necking has always meant kissing tae me...although I mean something very different wi` necking me cockerels!

Hermit from never kissed a chicken


Hermit, I am relieved to hear that you do not winch with your cockerels, though doubtless the cockerels do their own winching in their short alloted time before frying pan (the ordinary kind, not the fabulously expensive one at the Stromness chippy). As to necking, please stay a mile away from Murdo John. Don't open if he comes a'chapping the door!! he is bad news: Annie B. will vouch for that.

mjc from NM,USA


Egg rolling is a pleasant Easter thing for the children, next month on Cooper's Hill in Gloucestershire, they will have the annual Double Gloucester cheese rolling competition. Men, it usually only the men who are daft enough, roll the cheese down the hill running after it. The hill is steep 1 in 2/3 or steeper; once you start there is no stopping and you have to finish with your cheese, a full size Double Gloucester. There are always a few broken limbs and the crowds who come to watch love it. Not sure what the cheese tastes like afterward.

Lerwick Trevor from Lerwick, thinking about coq-au-vin


Hermit, with reference to your comment on Moo's blog, I am all for good strong heathen women (not just the Norski and the Celts: I am rather catholic in that regard, eh?!) necking and wenching, not to mention the culinary arts activities(soup, roasts, bread). Keep the man happy, I say (though I am not sure what the benefits of doing so are ...).

mjc from NM,USA


How do you sell your hides, Hermit? If you had a web you could stick it to the side of your blog as a link, with relevant email and phone information on the website. Might generate some custom orders. The blog does not have to be fancy, though it may be. IT has one, and LT mentioned that he had one (when he was angling for a date with Carol. Kidding folks, no need to blush!!). Others may too, but I have not checked. Think about it.

mjc from NM,USA


And then there's Clap McCollie, which is either an exhortation to pat the dug, or.....a rather unfortunate Irishman. Mustn't forget Phil McCann....

Flying Cat from hurling things in Glockamorra


That would be an ecumenical matter as Father Jack Hackett (from Father Ted)would say ...... Get the DVDs if you can mjc - EVEN better than Midsomer Murders!

Annie B from the usual


Oh steady on there AnnieB. They're like chalk and cheese. Sometimes you want one, and sometimes, the other.....and we wouldn't want mjc to choke on his giant bowl of popcorn....would we?

Flying Cat from a balanced view


I once had the pleasure of having a cup of tea ('ah go on' etc) in father Ted's house. The building they used for the outside shots is a farmhouse in County Clare, near The Burren. Went to visit with friends who live near by. If I can find the photo I'll post it!

Stromness Dragon from where dreams and reality meet, begorrah


Should I rely on you folks and splurge on the whole Holy Trilogy (slightly cheaper than buying one series at a time)? Not to worry about choking on the popcorn: wife is there to do the Heimlich maneuver, but then she might decide to grab the chance of her lifetime, eh, and let me go blue in the face!? About being better than Midsomer Murders - I dunno. Not many shows have four murders on average per episode. And oi loik me moorders (does this sound like cockney? No? Yet it's meant to be!!).

mjc from NM,USA


I think it may be Yorkney mjc! Obviously you are of a more slender acreage than mpu.....fpu might have slight logistical problems with the Heimlich man....dammit I can't get the English spelling now you've planted the American one...ouevre? Find the photo Dragon for goodness sake, or I'll have to restrain fpu from barging through your door and begging to see it!

Flying Cat from a linguistic coil




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