成人快手

One a fortnight me other half has tae go intae Kirkwall to choose skins for tanning. This previous Thursday, off he went in the morning, looking at the ominous clouds and listening tae the rising wind and then looking at me as if tae say "How come ah`m the mug that has tae dae this onyway?"

Well, he does it cos I get seasick on a puddle! I have nae clue what I`m doing living on a rock in the sea whar we need tae use a boat to get onywhar.
At least the Thursday wasnae a long day in toon....the boat left Sanday aroond quarter tae eight and left Kirkwall tae come back at one.
I cannot mak` sense o` the refit timetable. Every year they say it will last x amount o` weeks, and every year we get the supplemental "here`s the refit timetable for the next few months" thing, so why they dinnae just say in the first place "It`ll go on for MONTHS AND MONTHS" I dinnae ken.
So onyway, off he goes in the morning, after picking up a friend who was also going intae toon, and I phoned him afore he got there (I always hae a list o` stuff for him tae pick up frae the toon, and always forget half o` it and phone halfway there) and asked him how the boat was running. "Oh no too bad" he says, "no as rough as I thocht it wid be".
I looked oot me windae....I can see clear across tae Stronsay over the Peedie Sea and the water was being thrown across the road at the bottom o` the track, and further oot, white horses were stampeding ower the wee rocky islet that has a ruined crofthoose on it.
And he phoned me again tae say the boat was leaving Kirkwall fine, he`d gotten everything on the list, and indeed, in Kirkwall it had been a fine and sunny day. I notice that, ye see...me daughter lives on mainland...and one thing I have noticed is that inevitably, they have bright, sunny calm days when she phones to ask if I`m coming in on the boat the day, and I`m looking oot the windae at a howling gale, complete wi` sleet and driving rain and waves the size o` a hoose wa`!!
And then he came hame. And he wis green! I offered him his dinner and he made a break for the bathroom. When he came oot again, I said, casually "rough boat trip dear?"
In spite o` the lovely sunny, calm day on mainland, the sea had other ideas on what it should be doing. And that involved trying it`s best tae sink the ferry, apparently. Heaving and rolling, shuddering and thumping itself doon on what felt like, tae the passengers, a brick hard surface, the wee ferry battled the raging seas tae mak it back tae Sanday. And it did it fine, though minus mony a lunch or lunchtime drink as passengers heaved along wi` the sea......
noo, me man, he`s no` a bad sailor, the sea disnae really bother him. So I kent it must hae been quite bad for tae mak him sick...and am richt glad I wasnae on the boat thon day.
Of course, the passengers had already had a brief clue that the sailing back micht no` be...a` plain sailing...in pulling awa` frae Kirkwall pier, the captain didnae realise the boat wis still moored tae the pier and it must hae looked somewhat like a cartoon...the boat pulls awa then "snap!" comes up richt short as the rope reaches it`s full length.....

So no, I dinnae dae much travelling in winter on the boats if I can help it. And folks will say tae me, "Why no` use the plane"? but the last time I did, it was awfy windy and I mind me belly thinking it was on a roller coaster as it came in tae land and was buffeted aboot like a paper hat in a wind tunnel....
I dinnae ken what it is that maks some folks good travellers and others wimps at it...but if they ever figure it oot, and bottle the cure, it`ll be an amazing day for folks like me....

Me wee quail eggs are still doing fine in the incubator. I`m keeping a careful eye on them and hoping at least some o` them hatch. I bought the eggs off Ebay, I cannae find onyone in my area who sells hatching eggs or the breeding birds I want. I did want to try pheasant eggs...at one point I looked online for young birds to grow on to breeders, but the one place I could find nearest me quoted me 拢400 quid tae ship tae Sanday! So needless tae say, I didnae tak on ony young pheasant chicks. Even the Royal Mail isnae that dear....

We lost one o` the ducks the other nicht. For a couple o` days, she`d kept herself awa` frae the rest o` them, she didnae seem a` that ill, was still eating and makin` her way aroond the place, but I kenned fine she wasnae quite richt. I see that all the time, when beasts get ill, they want to tak themselves oot o` the way o` the others and just be left alone. We kept an eye on her but then she died in the nicht. I hae nae clue why she died, and the rest o` me ducks are doing fine, so it was either just auld age or one o` those things, I`ll never know.
And in the run up tae nesting time, me ducks have the appetites o`...great big greedy things!...they are devouring the feed like there`s nae tomorrow, and waddling aroond wi` full crops and satisfied faces. Every year we always get a grand clutch o` ducklings, aroond three dozen. Some o` them don`t mak` it tae adulthood, due to natural hazards...crows or gulls eat them whole, and bonxies will drown them then eat them whole...or the mothers will stampede across them and crush them, or abandon them to their fate...but o` the ones that do survive, some are kept for future breeding, and the others get eaten or given awa` tae friends.
I`m also hoping my geese breed this year. The last clutch o` goslings all made it tae adulthood, but I mind hearing the broody goose, nest sitting, mak` an awfy racket one dark morning, and when we went tae investigate there she was, bravely trying tae fight off some half dozen big rats who were after her eggs. Whilst the other half went for his gun, I watched as a couple o` the rats ran at the goose to get her tae chase them and if she did, the rest went intae the nest and rolled an egg awa! I never thocht tae see such a sicht in my life but we did. Clever beasties, rats, and I admire that in them. But I made the other half shoot them and find their bolthole, and pour poison doon it and block it up wi` stone. Aye, they would just come up again elsewhere but at least the goose was safe and she hatched eight wee goslings wha` all made it.
When I`ve the time, I like watching me geese aboot the place. They are `pack` birds..they always have one o` their number stand guard and it`s usually the one that is bottom o` the pecking order. A few years ago noo, we went roond the back o` the byres tae feed the geese as usual in the morning, and there among them was this one, grey, wee goose, obviously a wild one. So even though we were surprised, we put a bit extra food oot for her, expecting her to maybe eat and fly off. She is still wi` us today, and we`ve checked her over...there is no reason she cannae fly off, but she never has. At first the other geese wanted nothing to dae wi` her...so she followed the ducks aroond, apparently quite content tae be a duck! And each day she got a bitty closer tae the geese, til one day we looked oot the window and there was oor flock o` geese wi` the wee grey one trailing at their tail, obviously part o` the pack. :)
She`s been wi` us ever since. We hae nae idea whar she cam` frae or why, but she will never be eaten and never hae her wings clipped, and is always free tae fly awa` if she wants. But she seems content enough tae stay wi` us. After a`, she is getting fed regularly and has shelter during the winter months! It probably feels like the Ritz tae her! I will hae tae post some pics o` me geese as well noo that I have the hang o` it. :)
And a` that was me long winded way o` saying, that wee wild goose, she is bottom o` the pecking order but doesnae seem tae mind it...she took her turn nest sitting wi` the others, and is usually the one standing guard as the other ones eat or sleep wi` their heids tucked under their wings. She`s a fine, canny bird, thon one.