This weekend, Russia will mark the first anniversary of the Kursk disaster with remembrance ceremonies for the 118 men who died on the nuclear submarine. On Saturday 11th August the families of the dead travel to the naval base of Vidyayeva for the main memorial service. Among them is Nadezhda Tylik, the bereaved mother who made headlines around the world when she demanded answers from the Russian government about the death of her son - and was filmed apparently being sedated by force as she shouted at the authorities in a public meeting last August.
In her first interview with British radio, Nadezhda Tylik told the Today programme why she's still angry with the authorities, and of her fears that she and the other relatives may never really know the truth about how and why their sons died.
After six days of being lied to by the Russian navy Nadezhda Tylik's rage and grief boiled over. The bereaved mother summoned all her courage to demand answers on the fate of the Kursk and her 25 year old son Sergei. Her questions were silenced with a sedative injection, an act caught on camera and beamed around the world. One year on, she says, she still hasn't come to terms with her son's death.
"When the first shock passed after I heard my son had died, I told myself he'd just gone on a long mission and wouldn't be back for a while," she said. "It was easier for me like that. But this whole past year we've all been waiting for the moment the Kursk is raised and when they bring out the remains. I'd like my son's personal belongings to be recovered."
Nadezhda Tylik may be calmer these days, but she's still angry. Though she's only 43, she looks much frailer now. She and her husband have moved south to the Black Sea - away from the naval base that was their home. Their living room is filled with reminders of Sergei, their only son. His face smiles from the photos on the mantelpiece. Nadezhda Tylik hasn't forgiven or forgotten the shabby treatment meted out by the authorities to the families of the dead.
"We parents have nothing left to remember our sons by," she says. They didn't even say thank you to the parents for bringing up such courageous sons. They died because of somebody's negligence. The navy commanders still haven't been able to pluck up the courage to admit their guilt. They could at least apologise for the pain they inflicted on us by lying for 10 days. Of course they can't bring back our sons, but they should show some kind of humanity. During those awful days, they led us to believe there really was some rescue work going on. But as a military wife for the last 27 years, I'd seen with my own eyes the collapse of the Russian fleet. I had an inkling that there wouldn't be a rescue."
She was right - there was no rescue. How long Sergei and his comrades survived trapped in the wreckage of the Kursk, waiting and hoping, nobody knows.
But now British and Russian divers are at the site of the Kursk - preparing to bring the men's remains back to shore for a proper burial. The Russian navy denies Nadezhda's accusations - its spokesman, Igor Dygalo says they're doing all they can to help the families.
"All the families of the crew that died are kept completely informed about the Navy's activities and about the investigation," he says. "There are still some journalists who claim the Navy is hiding the reason for the loss of the Kursk. That's just not true."
Today, Nadezhda is steeling herself to attend the memorial service for her son and his comrades at the base where they served. She knows it won't be easy - and like many relatives, Nadezhda doesn't believe the Russian government will ever tell the truth about why and how Sergei and the other died:
"The death of 118 people could have been avoided, if the submarine hadn't been sent out to sea with faulty torpedos. There was a torpedo explosion on board the Kursk. The government hasn't admitted it, but we know from a private investigation. The submarine should never have been allowed to sail," she says.
As she speaks, Nadezhda's grief and anger are etched clearly on her face - but one year on, she has no regrets about standing up to the authorities. Without meaning to, she has become the public voice of the mothers and widows of the Kursk.
She says somehow she has kept the courage to maintain the fight for justice. "It wasn't my just for me, it was my opinion in the name of all the relatives. It turned out that I had the courage to say it on behalf of all of us."
Meanwhile the operation to raise the stricken submarine from the sea bed continues. It is expected to take several weeks, even months. But for Nadezhda Tylik the wait will be worth it, allowing her to say goodbye to the son she has mourned for a year now.
