Main content

Duncan

All about Communications Tsar, Duncan.

What does Duncan look like?

No driving licence but a fast walker and owner of a fake STA card his mate Gareth had made in Thailand.
Duncan

Brown hair/eyes. Stacked.

Has he been up to much since graduating?

Duncan has been working in various kebab shops and helping relatives with minor chores

And his ministerial position in ‘Team Jared’?

Communications Tsar/organising printing and booking rooms for the team. Trying to contribute to morale.

Why did he get into politics?

It's fair to say he fell into it (and doesn’t fully understand it). He's occasionally criticized for lack of aptitude but no real flare for anything else so sticking with it for know.

What’s Duncan's greatest political achievement?

Booking a squash court for a political meeting at very short notice. Negotiating with staff that five people without squash kit could sit in the court for forty minutes and discuss policies ranging from immigration to drug abuse.

How would he describe himself?

Reliable and fairly clean. No driving licence but a fast walker and owner of a fake STA card his mate Gareth had made in Thailand.

And how would everybody else describe him?

Completely incompetent and an irrelevance. Well-meaning.

Duncan can often be heard saying...

"Can you just go through that one more time, Jared? Just for my own personal benefit..."

Where is Duncan likely to end up in 5 years time?

Hopefully roughly the same, but he certainly would be disappointed if it gets any worse than this.

Meet the Party