成人快手

Good Morning

Yesterday I witnessed the wonderful sight of a European Eagle owl and a snowy white barn owl leading the coffin of a man whose funeral I was taking into our church. He loved owls and had painted them throughout his life. The family arranged the tribute as a surprise and people absolutely it. Like most families, conversations had been held about these final moments. About the best way to say goodbye. It鈥檚 no easy task but it鈥檚 something we鈥檙e all being asked to consider.

What happens to our remains has been in the news this week. Graveyards are filling up. And we鈥檙e being asked to take part in a public consultation to update the 170-year-old burial laws in England and Wales which is now is underway. Quite simply we are running out of space.

Around 8o% of people in the UK choose to be cremated. The rest want to be buried. In both cases, it鈥檚 the norm for a person鈥檚 remains to be returned to the ground in some way. The wonderful words from the Church of England鈥檚 Book of Common Prayer 鈥� earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust in sure and certain hope of the resurrection 鈥� underline that we come from the earth and to the ground we shall return.

But where and how? Burials are more straightforward because they are often sorted out in advance. But I can鈥檛 count the number of conversations I鈥檝e had with families who are not at all clear where after cremation a relative will finally be laid to rest. The deceased simply never said. Sometimes, a decision is delayed 鈥� for years 鈥� The ashes stay in the home of a family member on a shelf, in a cupboard, in one case on not in the fridge.

When as Cardinal Newman wrote, the busy world is hushed, the fever of life is over, and our work is done a myriad of factors come into play when deciding on a final resting place. The first is about connection: a place associated in some way with family, friends, or often a holiday or a hobby. Increasingly it鈥檚 about the environment. And then there鈥檚 accessibility. The ability to go and be with, in the future.

Not everyone needs such a specific place, but I鈥檓 reminded of those moving scenes between Penelope Wilton and Ricky Gervase in the comedy drama Afterlife. They forge an unlikely friendship sitting on a bench near the graves of their respected loved ones. Their grief is still raw but as they reminisce and share their experience of loss, this new place represents glimmers of hope for the future

As the debate about having a good death rumbles on, with more environmental burial space also clearly needed, we surely need more open conversations with loved ones. So that, as the end of Newman鈥檚 prayer suggests, we can then enjoy 鈥渁 safe lodging, a holy rest, and peace at the last鈥� without too many unanswered questions.

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