成人快手

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DOCTOR WHO: REDACTED

PART 1

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Written by

Juno Dawson

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SCENE 1

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FX:成人快手 SOUNDS STING

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The 成人快手 Sounds ident plays only then, it glitches into hissing, singing static.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 成人快手 Sounds

听听听听听听听听听 成人快手 Sounds: Music, Radio, Pod-c-c-c鈥�Pod-c-c-c

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Then a pause.

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The Doctor鈥檚 voice is muffled as if by glass, then clarifies. Her voice glitches and trills with static, slowing down and slurring in places.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 DOCTOR

听听听听听听听听听 My name is the Doctor. Can you hear

听听听听 听听听听 me? Planet Earth? Is this getting through?

听听听听听听听听听 Something is coming, something is coming for

听听听听听听听听听 (you) 鈥�

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And then a horrific wail of feedback/static/distortion. From hereon in, this will be known as the Redacted Distortion.

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Music comes in 鈥� a rushing thunder of deep synths accompanied by something almost like sirens, that sharply glitches into a slow, soft piano beat that runs under the credits.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CREDITS

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听听听听听听听听听 Doctor Who Redacted: Episode One, by Juno Dawson

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Soft hissing, beeping static runs across the credits, building into a bubbling glitch before鈥�

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SCENE 2 - PODCAST RECORDING听听

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The 鈥楤LUE BOX FILES鈥� theme plays.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 SHAWNA

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 (Singing, RnB style)

听听听听听听听听听 The Blue Box, The Blue Box

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Shawna鈥檚 voice is distorted, as if on a tape recorder

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 MAN

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 (Ominous laugh)

听听听听听听听听听 鈥�Files

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This is followed by an electric buzz, the Wilhelm scream, and an orchestral 鈥淒un dun DUN!鈥�

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We now hear three voices: one Scottish (ABBY), one Yorkshire (SHAWNA) and one cockney (CLEO) in conversation on a podcast. All three are smiling and energetic.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听 Hello there and welcome to this week鈥檚 Blue

听听听听听听听听听 Box Files.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 Woop woop!

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听 Three friends dedicated to uncovering

听听听听听听听听听 the truth about that enigmatic blue box...

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 Yes! As regular listeners know, if a random

听听听听听听听听听 public police box rocks up in your town, you are

听听听听听听听听听 in a world of trouble.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 SHAWNA

听听听听听听听听听 Across history, alleged blue box sightings (ABBY laughs)

听听听听听听听听听 have been linked to the supernatural, paranormal,

听听听听听听听听听 and the just downright weird.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听 As ever, you鈥檙e listening to Abby MacPhail...

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 Cleo Proctor...

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 SHAWNA

听听听听听听听听听 And I鈥檓 Shawna Thompson. Broadly benevolent

听听听听听听听听听 voice of reason.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听 Or simply argumentative.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 SHAWNA

听听听听听听听听听 I have seen what we鈥檙e talking

听听听听听听听听听 about this week, and my body is ready, because

听听听听听听听听听 this one...is...well let鈥檚 just say it鈥檚...nuts.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 Oh my God, please tell me鈥�it鈥檚 an alien foetus

听听听听听听听听听 in a jar?

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 SHAWNA

听听听听听听听听听 (Exasperated but laughing) UGH, my god.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听 (Laughing) No afraid not...

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听听听听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 Ah! One of these days girls, one of these days...

听听听听听听听听听 (Beat)

听听听听听听听听听 So what are we doing? I鈥檝e been too busy to

听听听听 听听听听 even read the group chat. Sorry Abz.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听 You鈥檙e forgiven. How is usher life at Music:

听听听听听听听听听 The Musical?

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 (Putting on a snooty voice)It would be very

听听听听听听听听听 unprofessional of me to say.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听 Duncan James playing Beethoven?

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ABBY, SHAWNA and CLEO burst out laughing.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 Don鈥檛! I can鈥檛! I thought working in a theatre

听听听听听听听听听 might open some acting doors for me. Nope, just

听听听听听听听听听 opening doors. Period!

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 SHAWNA

听听听听听听听听听 Aw! That sucks.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 The spoon is in the lid, people! The spoon IS

听听听听听听听听听 IN THE LID.

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SHAWNA awwws sympathetically.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听 Well, I have a really tasty Blue Box mystery for you,

听听听听听听听听听 and that is a deliberate play on words because

听听听听听听听听听 this week, we delve into the murky world of

听听听听听听听听听 diet pills. (SHAWNA ooohs) In 2008, our Blue Box was sighted

听听听听听听听听听 in London...

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 Goosebumps! Look! Every time!

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听 Now, around the time of the sighting, a group of people

听听听听听听听听听 that signed up to a pilot trial of a weight-loss pill

听听听听听听听听听 from Adipose Industries got a lot more than they

听听听听听听听听听 bargained for...and some were even...dying to be thin...

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 SHAWNA

听听听听听听听听听 Why am I not surprised? Big pharma control the

听听听听听听听听听 world. Have you seen Pharmarama on Netflix?

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听 Oh God yeah I have

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 SHAWNA

听听听听听听听听听 So good

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

I haven鈥檛, it鈥檚 my next after Selling Sunset.

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SHAWNA

Pharmaceutical companies could cure cancer if they wanted, but they make more money selling snake-oil that doesn鈥檛 really do anything.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Yes Shawna! Spill that tea.

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 SHAWNA

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I will!

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 The official version of events says that

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 the weight loss pills were unregulated and

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 unfit for human use. The coroners reports

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 deemed the tablets were 鈥榝atally toxic鈥� in 听a

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 handful of cases.

(Beat)

Victims dissolved from the inside out...

A moment of stunned silence.

SHAWNA

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 听听听 Ugh, gross

CLEO

No, do you know what? I鈥檝e heard about 听this.

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ABBY

You have?

CLEO

Yeah! Some woman on the Powell was always going on about it. We just thought she was drunk.

ABBY

Drunk, why?

CLEO

Well she was a drunk. But she was also um, a...thick and juicy woman...and she鈥檇 听lost a lot of weight. She said some 听crazy stuff about fat babies 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 or something. We was like 鈥極K, Elaine, you keep going to those meetings, hun.鈥�

ABBY

As ever the internet has a myriad of theories: Some think it鈥檚 a hoax, or even a publicity stunt that massively backfired.

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CLEO

Nah Babe, they were taking dodgy pills. They were tripping.

SHAWNA

OK, that I can believe.

CLEO

What about the Blue Box? You said there was sightings?

ABBY

Yes. At least five.

CLEO

Man, I love the Blue Box.

ABBY

One confirmed sighting in an alleyway near Adipose Industries. And then鈥�it gets weirder. No one from the company was ever. Seen. Again.

SHAWNA

They got caught selling dud pills! They鈥檙e probably sunning it up in Panama or something.

ABBY

OK, so how do you explain additional eyewitness reports of lights in the sky?

SHAWNA

(Exasperated)

Abby, this is just not a THING. The Blue Box is not alien.

ABBY

(Talking over Shawna excitedly) It is SO a thing! Crop circles; Area 51...

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CLEO

(Shouting excitedly) Alien foetus in a jar!

ABBY

Look up the pics! Go on! Check the听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

Blue Cube Forum.听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

SHAWNA

OK...

FX - Shawna typing.

SHAWNA听(CONT'D)

FX: Suddenly we hear the Redacted distortion, singing and hissing static.

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CLEO

What the hell is that?

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ABBY

Shawna?

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SHAWNA

It鈥檚 like a pop-up or something.

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CLEO

Ugh

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ABBY

Um, uh, I鈥檒l stop the recording.

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FX: The noise stops.

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The sound of the three protagonists now changes significantly: where before they were clear, in slightly echoey rooms, now Shawna and Abby are clearly coming through laptop speakers.

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听听听听

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I don鈥檛 see the point though, when-

听听听听听听听听听

SHAWNA

Man, they have been hacked.听听听听

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ABBY

I vaguely know the guy who runs the听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 website...I鈥檒l message him.

SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

Tell him I can help if he鈥檚 having听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

website issues or if it鈥檚 a virus.听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

ABBY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

Och that鈥檚 annoying.

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SHAWNA听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

(Sighing) Yeah

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听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBT

(Beat)

Cleo can ask our special

guest this afternoon about the blue听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

box.听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

CLEO

Me? Am I meeting a guest or something?

ABBY

Yep. She鈥檚 in London, so you鈥檙e closest.

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CLEO

Aw, come on, I don鈥檛 know nothing! I鈥檓 just here for the sass! I鈥檓 the sweet to Shawna鈥檚 sour!

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SHAWNA

(Mildly) Thanks for that.

CLEO

Honestly girls, I鈥檒l make a mess of it! 听When you sent me to meet that yeti person I deleted the whole thing!

ABBY

You will be fine! all you have to do is press 鈥榬ecord鈥�. I鈥檒l even send over a list of Abby-approved questions. A 听听听听听听听听听听听听听 baby could do it.

SHAWNA

A fat baby?

CLEO

Go on then. Who is it?

听

ABBY

A journalist called Penny Carter from the Observer.

CLEO

The Observer? She gonna be OK meeting a trans person?

ABBY

I checked and I do think you鈥檙e safe. She does have a lot to say about Adipose 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Industries. To be honest she sounds a little highly strung.

SHAWNA

By highly strung do you mean 听 clinically insane?

听

Tense pizzicato music comes in quietly here: we here plucking strings and a scraping kind of synth that builds a sense of mystery and tension.

CLEO

Oh my God. Where am I meeting her? Somewhere in public please.

ABBY

Soho. Midday tomorrow. I鈥檒l text you the address.

CLEO

Uuugh ok. Don鈥檛 forget to send the

questions.听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

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The tense mystery music keeps going with a steady heartbeat, before climbing into a synth and string kind of swell.

听

听

SCENE 4: INT. CLEO鈥橲 FLAT. DAY

CLEO is clattering around in the kitchen, making tea. JORDAN (20s - blokey, cockney) enters, yawning.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

JORDAN

(Yawning) Morning bumface!

CLEO

(Yawning back) Oh, it lives. What time did you 听听听听听听听听听听听 听听听听听听听听听听听听听 crawl in?

听

JORDAN

About 2 in the end. My mouth tastes of farts.

听

CLEO

Lovely! Did you meet The One?

JORDAN

(Indignant)

No!

(Beat)

Well, I did get six phone numbers.

CLEO

Jordan! You are such a pig!

JORDAN

I鈥檓 kidding! I鈥檓 kidding! (Beat)

Well鈥�I鈥檓 actually not kidding.

CLEO

Yeah I know. I can鈥檛 believe we share the same DNA, you repulse me.

(Beat)

Shouldn鈥檛 you be sweating out your hangover on some scaffolding somewhere?

听

JORDAN

Nah. It鈥檚 weird. You know Tony?

You know, the 听foreman?

听

听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

Uh鈥�Oh! Yeah yeah yeah

听

听听听听听听听听听听听 JORDAN

听He鈥檚 done a runner.

听

CLEO

What?

听

听

JORDAN

Totally vanished.

CLEO

I thought Tony was the boring one who likes cryptocurrencies and Mrs Browns Boys?

JORDAN

It鈥檚 always the quiet ones, innit? I guess he鈥檚 met someone and left his 听 wife, all that.

听

CLEO

Sounds about right, don鈥檛 it?听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

JORDAN

You working tonight?

CLEO

Yeah, but meeting someone for the podcast first.

JORDAN

Oh yeah, you still doing that?

CLEO

Are you not listening to EVERY EPISODE RELIGIOUSLY?

JORDAN

Look, sis, I can鈥檛 deal with that stuff. It messes with my

Head all that conspiracy stuff.

Like I was watching this thing -听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

CLEO

Jordan! I don鈥檛 need to know. (Laughs)听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

JORDAN

And I was trying to watch it, trying to

get into it, and then I started thinking:

is my webcam watching me? Put me right off.听听听听 *

CLEO

What a lovely story. It鈥檚 more a way of keeping in touch with Abby and Shawna really.

JORDAN

Where do you know those girls from?

听

CLEO

Do you remember those 3 months I went to uni before I dropped out?

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听 JORDAN

Oh yeah

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听

听

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

Yeah, we lived together in halls. And we bonded over our mutual love of murder podcasts and our

hatred of our alt right neckbeard neighbour. Then we all dropped out 听together. The 3 loseketeers.

JORDAN

Aw c鈥檓on, you ain鈥檛 a loser.

CLEO

Jordan, I鈥檓 a 26-year-old, single trans woman sleeping on her brother鈥檚

sofa bed. I鈥檓 very aspirational.

(BEAT)听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

Anyway, can I get in the shower first? I can鈥檛 meet this Penny woman looking like 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Cousin It.

听

CLEO opens a door.

听

JORDAN

Yeah, fair enough you smell rotten, get in.

(CLEO laughs)听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

FX: Jordan鈥檚 phone pings.听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

JORDAN听(CONT'D)听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

Oh...听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

CLEO

What?

JORDAN

Um...听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

CLEO

Jordan? What鈥檚 up?听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

听

听

SCENE 5: INT. CAFE.听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

We hear a coffee machine hissing and plates and cups clinking.

NEWSCASTER

(Muffled, clearly coming through a TV)

South Yorkshire Police have issued a renewed appeal for information on the disappearance of Sheffield residents Graham O鈥橞rien and Ryan Sinclair. Chief Constable Gemma Rayner issued a statement asking the public to be on alert for any

person calling themselves the Doctor 鈥�

听

FX: It turns onto football instead.

ABBY

Sorry! Can you put that back on, please?

听

CAFE OWNER

It鈥檚 a Rangers game...

ABBY

No worries.

She instead dials Shawna鈥檚 number. We hear tapping of keys on a smartphone, then a dial tone.

听

听

SCENE 6. INT. TRAIN

FX: We hear a train rushing past.

听FX: Phone ringing.

听

听听听听听听 SHAWNA

What鈥檚 up? Just heading into college.

听

Throughout this scene we can hear the train moving and rattling quietly in the background.

ABBY

Sheffield was just on the news. Something about missing people and they mentioned 鈥楾he Doctor鈥�.

SHAWNA

Is that like a gang leader or something?

ABBY

The Doctor sometimes crops up on

the Blue Box forums...when they鈥檙e听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

working. Will you look into it?听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

SHAWNA

Sure. Anyway, what you doing? I thought you were with whatshisname today?

听

ABBY

Shawna, you know his name. It鈥檚 been nine years!

SHAWNA

Craig. Where鈥檚 Craig? Is something wrong?

听

听

ABBY

(Deeply unconvincing) No.

听

SHAWNA

听

Every time you lie, an angel continues to not exist.

ABBY

It is nothing! He鈥檚 just cheesed off 听with me.

听

SHAWNA

What? Why?

ABBY

Says I never have time for him.

听

SHAWNA

Abby, you鈥檙e a full-time carer for your mum, what does he expect?

ABBY

No, it鈥檚 more the podcast.

SHAWNA

Uh. Cancel the manbaby.

ABBY

Shawna!

SHAWNA

I鈥檝e said it before, and I鈥檒l say it again, you need someone who supports the most evolved Abigail, not the schoolgirl he met when you were sixteen.

听

At this point a soft, slow electric guitar track comes in, occasionally building into flutters of higher notes.

ABBY

Oh and who would you have in mind, Shawna?

听

SHAWNA

(Pause)

Well...obviously I am biased, but boys are rank. (ABBY laughs fondly)

听(Beat)

(Tenderly) Craig doesn鈥檛 get it. Abz, You鈥檝e built this podcast from nothing. It鈥檚 all you. Me and Cleo are just along for the ride.

ABBY

No, that鈥檚 not true. I totally need you 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 guys.

听

SHAWNA

(Big loaded pause) I need you too.

That silences Abby.

听

The music swells up into the end of the scene, a sweet mid-paced beat that lingers for a moment before the drama moves on.

听

听

听

SCENE 7: EXT. CENTRAL LONDON. DAY

听

CLEO and JORDAN walk and talk.

听

We can hear traffic and both of their footsteps on the pavement, as well as quiet pedestrians.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 JORDAN

听听听听听听听听听 (Pleading) Look, Cleo, wait. Can we please talk听听

听听听听听听听听听 about Mum?

听听听听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 (Annoyed) I鈥檇 rather talk about your Love Island

听听听听听听听听听 audition video.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 JORDAN听听听

听听听听听听听听听 Oh come on. Can鈥檛 we just be normal听听听听

听听听听听听听听听 for once? She鈥檚 literally just asking if we听

听听听听听听听听听 wanna go for a nice roast with her

听听听听听听听听听 on Sunday?听听听听

听

Pause.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 After what she did to Dad, are you

听听听听听听听听听 having a laugh?听听听听

听

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 JORDAN听听听

听听听听听听听听听 He left us, Cleo. How is that her听

听听听听听听听听听 fault?听听听

听

听听听 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 She really expects us to believe that Dad just

听听听听听听听听听 vanished in the middle of the night?

听听听听听听听听听 What? Like he was abducted by aliens? I鈥檒l

听听听听听听听听听 call Mulder and Scully.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 JORDAN

听听听听听听听听听 It weren鈥檛 easy for her either though was it? Being

听听听听听听听听听 left alone with us.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 If Dad was here, I wouldn鈥檛 have

听听听听听听听听听 been chucked out when I started my transition.

听听听听听听听听听 Dad was the only one who stuck up for me. Ever.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 JORDAN

听听听听听听听听听 Dad鈥檚 gone, though. And Mum鈥檚 still here. It鈥檚

听听听听听听听听听 ten years this year.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 Jordan, just drop it. Time ain鈥檛 a healer.

听听听听听听听听听 It鈥檚 just time. And if I wait long enough,

听听听听听听听听听 I鈥檒l forget I even had a mum.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 JORDAN

听听听听听听听听听 Don鈥檛 say that.

听

FX: Cleo鈥檚 phone rings.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 Unknown caller. Oh my god, not now!

听

She ends the call.

听

Pause.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO (CONT'D)

听听听听听听听听听 Look I gotta go, I鈥檒l be late for the

听听听听听听听听听 podcast woman.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 JORDAN

听听听听听听听听听 Mum said she鈥檚 been listening.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听 What?

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 JORDAN

听听听听听听听听听 (Smug 鈥渉m鈥�) She鈥檚 a fan apparently.听听听听

听

This is a BIG DEAL.

听

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO (CONT'D)

听听听听听听听听听 Well it don鈥檛 matter. She owes us a lot

听听听听听听听听听 more than that.

听

听

Dramatic electric piano music comes in, dark, slow and ominous.

听

SCENE 8 PHONECALL

听

The same dark piano music from before builds into something brighter and more hopeful, a slowly building melody of yearning and mystery. It runs throughout this scene.

FX - dial tone.

7

听

听

CLEO (V.O.)

Hey, this is Cleo Proctor. Please leave a message.

DOCTOR

Cleo Proctor? My name is the

Doctor, but you already knew that,听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

didn鈥檛 you? I鈥檝e heard your听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 * transmissions from my TARDIS.

You鈥檝e been tracking my movements

on earth and now I鈥檓 tracking you.听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

Something is very wrong. It seems听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

my friends are in grave danger and听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

you may be too. I need access to听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 * your data urgently.

听

FX -

I鈥檒l be in touch. Stay alert.

voicemail boop.

*

听

听

听

听

听(Beat)

SC.9 INT. BUS. DAY

听

The piano music fades as we hear a bus coming in.

听

CLEO is now on the bus. We can hear lots of people talking, and the sound of the engine. Her phone rings.

听

CLEO

(To herself)

Who leaves a voicemail? It鈥檚 2022.

Cleo dials into her voicemail.

VOICEMAIL

You have 1 new message.

DOCTOR

Cleo Proctor? My name is -

FX - the hideous redaction noise. The Doctor鈥檚 voice glitches and repeats in a trill.

听

CLEO

Oh my God, what the hell?

FX - the noise continues. It鈥檚 the same singing hissing static as before: the Redaction.

CLEO听(CONT'D)

That鈥檚 not cute.

听

FX 鈥� we hear a beep as CLEO presses a button on her phone.

听

VOICEMAIL

Message deleted.

听

听听听听听听 听听听听

听

听

SCENE 10: INT. SOHO PUB. DAY听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

FX - fruit machine, quiet music. A door creaks open. We can hear many people inside the pub.

CLEO听听 approaches a woman.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

CLEO

It鈥檚 Penny right?

PENNY

Cleo?

CLEO

That鈥檚 me. You good for a 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 drink babe?

听

PENNY

Go on I鈥檒l have another. A double vodka tonic please.

CLEO

Alright, I鈥檒l be right back.

She walks to the bar.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听听听 Good lord. Am I gonna be able to claim

expenses for this?

听

The music and crowd sounds dip into silence.

听

听

INT. SOHO PUB. DAY - LATER听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

CLEO returns with the drinks.

听

There鈥檚 a tap as she sets them down on the wooden table. The sound of the crowd is quieter and more distant now.

CLEO

Here you go.

PENNY

Thanks.

CLEO

My friend Abby鈥檚 emailed over the questions. She鈥檚 the expert, but I鈥檓 in London so...OK! Like, let me get all this stuff set up.

Cleo fumbles to set up the recording equipment.听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

听

听

CLEO听(CONT'D)听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

Right that鈥檚 on...听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

听

Can you tell us about your experiences with Adipose Industries?

听

PENNY

I want to be clear that my name will be kept off everything? Can you change my voice?

CLEO

Yeah I don鈥檛 see why not. Shawna is very good at...computers.

PENNY

It鈥檚 just that when I tell people the truth they tend to think I鈥檓...well, crazy.

CLEO

That鈥檚 our whole thing so...

PENNY

Very well. It was alien.

CLEO

OK. Go on.

听

PENNY

You don鈥檛 think I鈥檓 mad?

CLEO

Babe, a lot of people think I鈥檓 one can short of a six pack, so I ain鈥檛 judging no-one.

PENNY

Something in those diet pills was extraterrestrial. I have no doubt.

CLEO

Like from another planet?

PENNY

If you鈥檙e going to ridicule me -

CLEO

No no! Honestly. To be clear, I鈥檓 totally on the fence with all this conspiracy stuff. My butt could fall either side. I鈥檓 listening. My mind is wide open.

PENNY

If you saw what I鈥檇 seen. They were hideous. Little creatures...made of fat...just falling from people鈥檚 flesh.

听

听

CLEO

(Disgusted)

Fat babies.

PENNY

You understand this was almost fifteen years ago. I have questioned 听听听听听听听听听听听听听 my mental state many, many times, 听听听听听听听听听听听听听 but I trust my eyes and I saw aliens.

There鈥檚 a pause.

CLEO

You know what? I want to believe you. My Dad loved Star Trek and Star Wars and all that. He believed there were aliens.

听

PENNY

There鈥檚 no other word for them. Aliens.

(Beat)

And there was a man...

CLEO

A man?

PENNY

A man in a blue box.

CLEO

(Grinning) Vintage police box?

PENNY

Yes.

CLEO

What was he like, this man?

Long pause.

CLEO听(CONT'D)

Like, can you remember what he looked like? Was he young, old, tall, short?

Another pause.

听

Penny?

CLEO听(CONT'D)

听听听听听听听听听听听

PENNY

(Frustrated sigh) That is the strangest part of all. My girlfriend says I have the memory of an elephant. I remember everything. I remember my friend鈥檚 birthdays from primary school but...

听

CLEO

But what?

听

PENNY

I don鈥檛 remember that man. I swear he was there. I remember...I was so furious with him. He...he hindered my investigation at every turn.

But...now it鈥檚 like there鈥檚 a black cloud where his face should be. The only thing is...

听

听

What?

CLEO

听

PENNY

He was a doctor.

(beat)

I鈥檓 sure of it. His friend called him doctor.

听

A slow quiet hissing static builds into a sudden whoosh of sound.

听

SCENE 11: EXT. TRAIN.听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

CLEO is traveling home. FX: Phone rings.

Shawna鈥檚 voice is muffled, clearly coming through a phone speaker.

听

We can hear the chug and rattle of a train in the background throughout this scene.

听

SHAWNA

How鈥檇 it go with the

Observer?听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

CLEO

She won鈥檛 go on the record about Adipose Industries.

SHAWNA

Well, she鈥檚 probably 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 in the pocket of big pharma. They 听听听听听听听听听听听听听 all are. She鈥檚 swallowed the blue pill.

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CLEO

Viagra?

SHAWNA

No, you tool, like in the Matrix!

CLEO

Never saw it. Boy film.

SHAWNA

Did she tell you anything, or is she another Blue Box Fruitcake from LINDA?

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CLEO

Shawna, there was something weird about her. She said there was a man, and a blue box...and some doctor.

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SHAWNA

Wait - a doctor? Or the Doctor?

听

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 听听 What do you mean?

听

SHAWNA

Well, Abby called me earlier; there was this thing on the news-

something about someone called the Doctor. I assumed it was some gang leader name.

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A very slow, soft drone of ominous music comes in, with very soft high pitched strings.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Nah babe, it was like she had amnesia

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 or something.

听

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 SHAWNA

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 True amnesia is super rare.

听

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 She remembers everything except this doctor

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 himself. It鈥檚 like he鈥檚 been...what鈥檚

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 the word, when you blank something out?

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 SHAWNA

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Redacted?

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Yeah. Redacted.

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The ominous droning music builds in pace, getting louder and faster.

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SCENE 12: INT. ABBY HOME.

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FX - We hear ABBY running down the stairs.

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The ominous droning music keeps going softly throughout this scene.听听

ABBY

(Shouting) Mum?

(beat)

Mum?

(beat)

(Catching herself, lowering her voice)

Fast asleep.

She goes to the door and retrieves the post.

ABBY听(CONT'D)

What鈥檚 this? The post just gets later and later...

FX: Paper rustling. Envelope tearing.

听

ABBY听(CONT'D)

(Reading)

鈥淚 said I鈥檇 be in touch. I didn鈥檛听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

want to get too close, I may be听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

contagious. The Doctor.鈥� Well听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 that鈥檚 weird.

(beat)

There鈥檚 no address on this...

FX: She turns over the envelope, looking for clues

ABBY听(CONT'D)

(To herself)

The Doctor. No way. (ABBY gasps) It can鈥檛 be...

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She fumbles for her phone.

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FX: dial tone.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO (PHONE)

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Hey!

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We can hear distant traffic through Cleo鈥檚 phone speaker, and Cleo鈥檚 voice is slightly muffled.

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The ominous droning music keeps up a steady heartbeat throughout this scene, with occasional glimmering synths.

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Pause.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Hey. The weirdest thing just happened.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Can you talk?

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Sure, I鈥檓 on my way to work. Sorry I

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 didn鈥檛 have time to send the interview with

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Penny. I鈥檒l do it during the show.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I just got a le-...uh...um...

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 (ABBY sounds frustrated, distracted and confused)

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Abby? You there?

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Sorry. (Upset) I don鈥檛 know why I called!

听

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 (Amused) Are you drunk?

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 No! No...

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 (Jumping in)

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Because I am! Makes Act One fly by!

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Kidding, obvs.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 (Pause)

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Abz?

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I just wanted to talk to you about

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 something...and then...it鈥檚 gone.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Babe I get that all the time.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I鈥檓 basically just a hot goldfish.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 (BEAT)

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Abz鈥�? Abz? I got another call. You OK?

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 ABBY

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Aye! I鈥檒l call you back if I remember...

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

听

听

SCENE 13: CLEO PHONECALL.

FX - London street noise continues along with Cleo鈥檚 footsteps.

听

We鈥檙e now in Cleo鈥檚 perspective, her voice isn鈥檛 muffled by the phone, and the traffic is much closer and louder.

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听

JORDAN on the phone is muffled and clearly coming through a speaker. The music is now gone.

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听

听

听

听

Pause.

Jordan? Hey again.

听

What鈥檚 up?

CLEO JORDAN

CLEO JORDAN

听

听

听

听

听

听

听

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Pause.

I wanted to talk about earlier...

CLEO

Can we not? Look, sorry I flipped my weave but...

JORDAN

Mum鈥檚 sick, Cleo. That鈥檚 why she wants to see us.

听

听

CLEO

What鈥檚 up with her?

听

听

听听听 JORDAN

They think she had a stroke.

听

听

听听 CLEO

How do we know she鈥檚 not lying?

听

听

听听 JORDAN

Oh my god, Cleo!

听

听听 CLEO

What? She lied about Dad, didn鈥檛 she?

听

听 JORDAN

No, she wouldn鈥檛.

CLEO

She would.

(Beat)

Jordan. I love you to pieces, but you鈥檙e a mummy鈥檚 boy.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听 JORDAN

Aw shut up

听

听听听听听听听听听听听 CLEO

Why d鈥檡ou think you can鈥檛 keep a girlfriend for more than two minutes? You expect them to run around after you 听听听听听听 like mum did.

JORDAN

No I don鈥檛-

CLEO

(Cutting him off) Babe, please.听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 *

(Beat)

If you want to go and eat Yorkshire puddings with her, that鈥檚 your shout, but keep me out of it?

(Beat)

I鈥檓 at the theatre. I鈥檝e gotta go.

She hangs up. Pause.

FX: Her phones rings again.

CLEO听(CONT'D)

Oh, for god鈥檚 sake. (Answers)

Look, Jordan -

But it鈥檚 not Jordan, instead we hear a familiar voice.

听

RANI鈥檚 voice is coming through a phone speaker, along with a freezing cold arctic gale.

RANI

Cleo Proctor?

听

听

CLEO

Yeah? Sorry, I th-...

听

RANI

(Cutting her off) You don鈥檛 know me, but I know you.

听

CLEO

Sorry who鈥檚 this?

听

听

RANI

My name is Rani Chandra

听

听听听听 CLEO

Who?

RANI

I don鈥檛 have time to explain, I鈥檓 sorry. But听听听听听听听听

you know the Doctor, don鈥檛 you?

听

A tense, dark music track comes in, with the very soft sound of scraping metal and a low drone.听听听听

CLEO听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

No, not really...look, what鈥檚 this听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

about?听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

There鈥檚 a pause.听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

RANI听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

It鈥檚 the Doctor...the Doctor鈥檚听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听

killing us.

Slowly a big thundering synth builds, then gives way to alien whooshing and rushing synth noises, which glitch into a soft piano tune.

The piano plays under the credits.

END OF EPISODE.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CREDITS

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Doctor Who Redacted: Episode One, by Juno 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Dawson

The music builds with a big string and drum beat, getting faster and urgent as it crescendos into a piece full of strings and synths that sing under the rest of the credits.

听

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CREDITS

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Starring: Charlie Craggs, Lois Chimimba, 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Holly Quin-Ankrah, Jodie Whittaker, Jacbo 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Hawley, Anjili Mohindra and Siena Kelly.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Directed by Ella Watts and James Robinson. 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Produced by Ella Watts. Sound designed by 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 David Thomas and Arlie Adlington. Original 听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 composition by David Devereux.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 A 成人快手 Studios Production.

The music builds into a gleefully Whovian, alien symphony of synths and electric keyboard that ends in a sharp glitch.