成人快手

Writer Lynne Truss discusses dogs, cats, golf, grammar and how success can change your life. Lynne鈥檚 new book Cat Out Of Hell is out now is the current听 on 成人快手 Radio 4.

Luke Wright takes the noble art of poetry by the scruff of the neck with poems specially written for the programme.

Luke is performing at the on 26th April

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We like these stories, don't we? TV extras,

backing singers, twenty feet from fame -

the eye-ball kick of carnival and hum-drum

the sandwiches from tuppaware on set.

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And yes, of course, a part of it's the gossip,

the humanising habits of the slebs:

how Thingumy takes sugar in his coffee;

what What's-her-face is like without her face.

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Perhaps because we're scientists we like to

pull the thing apart to see its works,

we scan production shots and tour locations.

We yell TRANSPARENCY at everything.

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Or maybe this is just the better story:

the fella playing snooker down the pub

while murder and betrayal do their business.

We know which one we'd be if we were there.

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To know that life will carry on regardless

and though we'll get a line from time to time

most of us are here to play the extra.

In the background, getting on with things.

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CRUFTS

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where woofers learn their worth

quaint canine eugenics

on fern green astro turf.

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Firm women barking HEEL

at de rigour dalmatians听

coiffured corgis, bo-ho boxers

A-lister alsatians.

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It's pop idol for Pekingese听

Newfoundlands in the know

Come and pap a pit bull

Superstar Dachshunds - here we go!