Why dealing with a pandemic as a young carer is terrifying
By Sara Anderson
As Covid-19 was announced as a pandemic, it set off alarm bells for me.
My name is Sara, an 18-year-old living in Scotland, but something that makes me different from most people my age is that I am a young carer for my sister and mother.
Being a young carer means having a caring role within the family, providing for someone with physical or emotional disabilities. For me, it’s both. A mother with respiratory problems, a leg amputation, autism, ADHD as well as some other problems including mental health. I help with lots of different things in a day: emotional reassurance, physical help, helping with basic tasks. It could be anything.
It’s a fearful time for many and as my mother is very vulnerable to many illnesses, it has been chaos.
Early on, we were thinking about self-isolating, as people in the household have jobs that mean they’re surrounded by people every day. If someone were to bring the virus into the house, the odds would be against us. We’ve tried to shop for the essentials that we would need but for the shelves to be empty due to healthy panic buyers is so frustrating.
We couldn't find basics like bread, soap, eggs, tinned foods and even toilet paper! I never thought I would be so frustrated over toilet paper! It’s all about being logical. You won’t be self-isolated forever so just get what you need - don’t buy the whole shop.
For us, self-isolation means only going out if we absolutely have to, so I’ll go with my mum to her appointments or for essential shopping. Other than that, it’s a lockdown for us.
There’s so much talk of coronavirus and it makes us more fearful as there doesn’t seem to be a clear path. We are trying to keep ourselves distracted by deep cleaning and making jokes. Our latest distraction to keep us laughing is making TikToks together. I mean, what else are you meant to do in a pandemic?
A day in the life of a young carer is different now, but really every day is very similar. Each day, our to-do list gets smaller. There are lots of phone calls and cancelling of appointments. We are trying to make sure my mum gets her medication, as she takes a lot, but there seem to be more barriers with GPs closing. Her upcoming operations have been postponed even further, which is becoming a very painful wait. I still help her with her daily tasks but it’s the emotional support that’s needed more than ever.
With my mum’s autism, she sees it as ‘if I get it, I die’ and ‘if it’s my time, it’s my time’ but I would like to take every precautionary measure. Being 18 and fearing for my mother’s life because of this virus is terrifying.
Social media plays a huge role when caring for an autistic person who deals with heightened emotions. With the recent news, my mother has not been sleeping.
It’s a horrible time for us and nothing seems clear. Each day, it’s harder to deal with, not just as a carer but also as a person with my own anxieties. I just don’t know if I’m doing and saying the right things, taking all the precautionary measures I should be. Putting on a brave face for someone you care for and trying to reassure them while feeling so helpless is tough.
I hope that this pandemic settles down soon and I hope that young carers and their families can get the support they need without it being put on hold.
