成人快手 Scotland - 成人快手 Scotland - Co-parenting: the people choosing to have a baby with a stranger

Co-parenting: the people choosing to have a baby with a stranger

7 June 2019

The new 成人快手 Scotland programme Pregnant and Platonic follows women and men so certain they want children that they’ve decided to use ‘co-parenting’ apps: a way to find people – whom they’ve never met – with the intention of having a child with them and sharing parental duties.

Mornings with Kaye Adams spoke to Alex Bulter to learn about his experience of the co-parenting process.

Would you have a baby with a stranger?

Over 40,000 people in the UK are registered with co-parenting sites.

Over 40,000 people in the UK are registered with a co-parenting app.

Pregnant and Platonic followed people of various ages, circumstances and backgrounds — all committed to the idea of conceiving a child and then sharing parental duties with someone they may not have met.

Contributor Stephen said of his own two children, conceived in a co-parenting environment:

“What I hope the girls will take from this ... is how much they were wanted and how much we were willing to do to have them.”

Desirée and Jamie

It鈥檚 not like getting a dog for Christmas

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Having a child with someone you’ve never met is a daunting prospect. Desirée from Liverpool had to be completely certain that her co-parenting app match Jamie was the right fit.

“I had to ask ‘Can I see myself spending the next 20 years arguing with this man over my child?’ ...and I could.”

Stephen and Ellen

Stephen, who lives in Norfolk, has twin girls with his British-American friend, Ellen. What makes their situation more difficult is that Ellen and the girls live in Manhattan.

Like many couples in their situation, Stephen and Ellen have a co-parenting agreement that, although not legally binding, allows clarity on things like financial contributions, that the girls will live with Ellen in Manhattan, and that Stephen is entitled to see the girls at least six times a year.

Of the complexity surrounding his and Ellen’s situation, Stephen said, “The way that the family unit has evolved, I feel very secure in my role as the father of the girls.”

A family meal including Stephen and Ellen鈥檚 respective partners, Jim and Jason.

Learn how each of the featured couples fare 鈥� in full on 成人快手 iPlayer

Stephen and Alex talk about co-parenting with Kaye Adams (from 1hr 33min)

Miriam and Alex

It鈥檚 like the beginning of a rollercoaster

Miriam

One of the issues for 26-year-old student Miriam – intending to become a co-parent with friend Alex – is distance.

Miriam’s preference to conceive at home means that, when she’s ovulating, Alex has to travel 100 miles from Birmingham to London to deliver his sperm. But this doesn’t phase him.

“I would drop everything to be a father. If it meant giving up my job – both jobs – I would do it. It’s one of the most important things for me in my life.”