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Sometimes they're simple and to the point: "Man Dies In Shark Attack", sometimes they're sensational: "Local Swimmer Mauled In Aquatic Bloodbath", while others use dodgy wordplay and rhyme to divert your gaze: "Surfer Suffers As Jaws Roars".

When there are multiple publications on display, the headlines suddenly become competitive, as do the articles. "I slept with England manager" screams one paper, only to be drowned out by the cries of "Pop Star Tells All - My Drugs Hell" from another. Each tries to be more controversial than the next, often eventually cancelling each other out in a farcical battle of bullshit.

It is with all this in mind that I found my gaze attracted to the top of a well respected broadsheet publication last month, which heralded the phrase "Paralympics: Why these 'athletes' don't deserve to be on television". (To be fair, these may not be the exact words, as my memory isn't what it used to be. However, you get the gist. I guess in many ways I just added new meaning to the word 'paraphrased').

I'm still unsure what it was about the banner that made my hackles rise the most - the claim that the Paralympics shouldn't be broadcast, or the fact that the word 'athletes' was in inverted commas.

It is a common ploy, and an effective one I might add, to place quotation marks around a word as a way of questioning its validity. The inference is: "Well, this is what they call themselves, but we know better"/ It is the journalistic equivalent of repeating what someone else has just said while putting on a whiny high-pitched voice. In the field of witty retorts it really is right up there with "I know you are but what am I?"

Either way, I immediately purchased said newspaper, ignoring the temptations of "Reality Stars Without Their Bras" and turned straight to the article in question.

It turned out to be a 'For and Against' affair, in which opposing writers argued the pros and cons of broadcasting the Paralympics on television. Arguing for the topic was a former Paralympian, whilst the opposing view was taken by a 'journalist'.

The athlete made a strong case, as one would expect, outlining the incredible amount of training and discipline that goes into any world-class level competition. She outlined the excitement of any athletic battle, and touched on the celebration of sporting excellence - able=bodied or otherwise - that is the modern Olympic Games. It was a good argument and well made.

The 'journalist' then went into a tirade that (in my view) was the most misguided opinion put in print since a small German man with a funny moustache sat down and scribbled out his thoughts on "what's wrong with the world". His 'expert opinions' included such gems as (and again I'm paraphrasing): "No one cares who wins the wheelchair events", "No one sits in their local boozer and has a heated argument about who deserves to win the amputee gold medal" and "When was the last time you saw someone place a bet on a Paralympic event?"

At one point he even expressed the opinion that the interest level of Paralympic events is diminished because viewers can't relate to being in a wheelchair. Apparently, however, we can all relate to running the hundred metres in under ten seconds.

It is tempting, although somewhat inappropriate, to suggest that the 'journalist' may perhaps find himself more able to relate to those in wheelchairs were he to be somehow disabled in a crippling kneecap-related baseball bat attack. "Hack Attacked In A Wheelie Bad Way." I will therefore counter his opinion with one of my own, and here it is: I think the Paralympic events should be combined with the Olympic events.

It is generally thought that one of the best qualities of the Olympic Games is that it unites all nations, creeds and colours under the Olympic flag, bringing together all athletes equally. It seems to me that if we're going to unite people regardless of nationality or religion, then we should do so regardless of physical ability as well.

It also stands to reason that providing more coverage of Paralympic events will increase the awareness of Paralympic athletes. As such, these athletes will gradually find themselves to be sporting celebrities, with all the character flaws, outlandish behaviour and associated gossip of their more famous counterparts. Pretty soon the general public will indeed care who wins the wheelchair events, may well discuss who deserved to win the amputee gold medal, and will very probably stand in line to place a tenner on their favourite Paralympian.

It's a long shot I know, but maybe one day I'll see a headline that reads "Paralympic Groupie Tells All: I Humped The One-Stumped Long Jumper".