THERE'S NOT A LOT TO DO IN THE COUNTRY!!
By John McMenamin
听
Oh, my name is Nellie Bogle
I live out in the sticks
And running after baldy men
It's how I get my kicks.
听
I'm as surprised as a whippet
My legs are long and lean
And I'm off just like a greyhound
When a baldy man is seen.
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I chase them through the meadows
I chase them through the park
I chase them in the daylight
I chase them in the dark.
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I sit with my binoculars
At a window in my home
And the air stands up upon my neck
When I spot a baldy dome.
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Then I slip into my trainers
And hollar "Tally Ho"
I'm on the trail of a baldy man
Running bent and low.
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The slap heads tries to get away
With his face all bright and red
But I see the sun a' glinting off
His big fat baldy head.
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Eggo runs into the water
To put me off the scent
But I got splashing after him
Running low and bent.
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Now he's in the briars
And travelling all about
I throw a stone in after him
And the baldy man shouts out.
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Up the fairy mountain
And down the fairy glen
The greatest pleasure in my life
Is chasing baldy men.
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He runs into the forest
But I am on his trail
"Tally Ho" I holler
And I chase the baldy male.
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The egghead now has doubled back
He's making for his home
I moved into a second gear
As I chase the shining dome.
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The hairless one is tired now
I see him look around
He dived into a rabbit hole
The baldy man has gone to ground.
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I hear the bald one panting
And I give a hunters shout
Then get doen on my hands and knees
To dig the bugger out.
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Soon the clay is flying
In the midst of golden sand
And lying, rolled up in a ball
I find the baldy man.
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I grab him by the baldy head
And pull him on the grass
He's rolled up like a hedgehog
So I kick him up the ass
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Please let me go says baldy dome
I wish I was at home
I laugh and say, "Hey baldy man,
Where do you keep your comb?"
听
Oh my name is Nellie Bogle
I live out in the sticks
And running after baldy men
Is how I get my kicks.
听
听
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