Political Panic
By JP McMenamin
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I met a Politician
And he was in some tizz
He was searching like a madman
He鈥檇 lost, his reality is.
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鈥淚 used it last鈥 the MP said
鈥淲hen I was on Talkback
But I鈥檝e searched my pockets. It isn鈥檛 there
I nearly had a heart attack.鈥
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鈥淚鈥檝e retraced my steps, looked everywhere
But I can鈥檛 find my wee phrase
My political life is over
And my head is in a daze.鈥
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I have to meet the Queen next week
But I can鈥檛 talk to Liz
Because I start each sentence
With 鈥 鈥淭he Reality-is.鈥
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鈥淚t could be stole鈥 I said to him
鈥淥r perhaps it鈥檚 out on loan鈥
鈥淣o. When it comes to that wee phrase鈥 he said
鈥淓ach politician has his own.鈥
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鈥淚t has no value鈥 said the man
鈥淚n my trade it鈥檚 just a tool
How shall I start my speeches now?
Oh God, I feel a fool.鈥
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鈥淚t鈥檚 no use to the common man
Cause they don鈥檛 talk that way
But politicians love it
They use it every day.鈥
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鈥淎h there it is鈥 the wee man said
鈥淚n front of my own nose
I pushed it up there with my glasses
When I had a little doze.鈥
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鈥淭he reality is鈥 the MP said
Ah, good, it鈥檚 working well,
鈥淭he Reality is鈥 the MP said,
鈥淵ou can go to hell.鈥
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