THE OLD CODGERS
By John McMenamin
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Two men sit in bathrobes
Outside the old folks home
No one ever visits them
They sit there 鈥 all alone.
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They鈥檙e tucked up in a blanket
Though the day is warm and hot
And just in case of accidents
They have a little pot.
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The years have not been kind to them
They鈥檙e old and stooped with age
The book of life will soon be shut
They鈥檙e nearing the last page.
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They sit there in the twilight zone
Their minds have long since gone
Two relics of a bygone age
It鈥檚 Gerry 鈥 and wee Sean.
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Are these the men we knew so well?
Sitting dribbling on their bibs
Where now the cheerful banter
Where now, the quick as libs?
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Long ago, way back in time
These men were shining stars
But now they need assistance
To climb into their drawers.
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Abandoned by their family鈥檚
When it got too hard to cope
Feeble and incontinent
No strength, no sense, no hope.
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Now and then a brain cell
Gives off a feeble glow
And withered lips will mutter
Of days so long ago.
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鈥淚 remember Sean鈥 gasps Gerry
The brain cell gives a splutter
The tapes erased, the memory鈥檚 gone
The lips do not but mutter.
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A nurse whips off their blankets
Wee Sean, looks on askance
A small smile flits across his face
As she checks her rubber pants.
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The nurse moves on to Gerry
Who鈥檚 staring into space
She checks his pants efficiently
And his heart begins to race.
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The wind blows through their greying locks
The day moves slowly on
It鈥檚 just another lonely day
For Gerry and - Wee Sean.
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Then suddenly, a flash of light
Illuminates their brain
Memories flood back like a stream
Their eyes are full of pain.
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鈥淲hat became of Daniell鈥 said Wee Sean
鈥淗e came from Donegall
I used to like him, you know
He had a funny drawl鈥.
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鈥淭hey canonised him鈥 Gerry said
鈥淧ut a halo round his head
But the funny thing is鈥 Gerry said
-鈥淗e wasn鈥檛 even dead.鈥
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鈥淛ordie Tuft鈥 said Gerry
鈥淯sed to phone me every week
But sometimes cooking sherry
Made it hard to speak.鈥
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鈥淚 likes the Tufter鈥 said wee Sean
鈥淚 knew the Tufter well
He used to come to Single鈥檚 Night鈥檚
And fight and drink like hell鈥.
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鈥淭he waistcoat man鈥 said Gerry
鈥淚 think his name was Pat
He could laugh like a hyena
And they say he was wild fat鈥.
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鈥淲here did Michael go?鈥 said little Sean
And he gave a mournful sigh
鈥淗e brightened up my day, you know
When he gave a cheerful 鈥 Hi.
鈥淗e was taken up by aliens鈥
Said Gerry, to wee Sean
鈥淵ou won鈥檛 see Michael anymore
The little sailors gone鈥.
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鈥淎h, the letters and the E-Mails
That I used to get each day
And the last I heard Bon Jovi
Had broke and ran away鈥.
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Wee Sean got slowly to his feet
And took up a fighting stance
鈥淚鈥檝e got a bone to pick with you鈥 he said
Hitching up his rubber pants.
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鈥淵ou didn鈥檛 treat me well, you know
When I was on your show
You treated me like something
That you鈥檇 find inside a po鈥.
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鈥淚t was just an act鈥 said Gerry
鈥淭o lead the punters on
Now watch your old angina
And please sit down wee Sean.鈥
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Wee Sean, fell back into his chair
And a tear came to his eye
鈥淕eraldine never visits me
And I really don鈥檛 know why.鈥
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She works for Stephen Nolan now
She doesn鈥檛 mind his size
She cleans his awards with brasso
And runs and gets him pies.
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鈥淲hat became of Jordie鈥 said wee Sean
鈥淪ometimes he could be rude鈥
鈥淗e鈥檚 in the priory clinic鈥 Gerry said
鈥淗e鈥檚 addicted to 鈥 Jeyes Fluid.鈥
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The two sat close together
Staring at the sun
Wee Sean, gave a giggle
鈥淭here鈥檚 a man for you- on one鈥.
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By now, their mind had wandered
They didn鈥檛 know their name
Two burnt out stars, in their twilight years
It鈥檚 sad and it鈥檚 a shame.
Away off in the distance
A small bird sang so sweet
They sit there wearing dressing gowns.
--Carpet slippers on their feet.
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The wind blows cold, on young and old
And twinkling stars appear
They huddle close and give a sigh
And shed a little tear.
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Two nurses wheel the relics in
Without a kindly glance
To spend another sleepless night
In a pair of, rubber pants.
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Don鈥檛 worry folks, it鈥檚 just a poem
Don鈥檛 waste no tears or prayers
With the money them two are raking in
They鈥檒l end up as-millionaires.
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THE END. 鈥淪ean, give us a lick of your auld pot noodle鈥
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