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16 October 2014
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Brendan McMahon

My name is Brendan McMahon and I am a retired Engineering Lecturer, I took early retirement four years ago to do the things I have not had time for previously, including writing.

I have been writing for a few years and I have had a few stories published in Irelands Own, Ulla鈥檚 Nib and Castlreagh Anthology.

The Call From The Kitchen by Brendan McMahon



He sat there, on his stool by the fire, his shoulders hunched his arms folded protectively, one hand cupping the old briar pipe he was puffing. He twisted on his stool as I entered the house, slowly, the stiffness of old age showing, his slippered feet taking tiny steps as he circled cannily towards me, steadying himself warily with his stick. I sat down on the bench by the window and my roving eyes slewed briefly towards the lassie at the far side of the kitchen. He returned to face the fire.
鈥淒o you know me?鈥 I asked teasingly. Restless watery eyes paused. He looked me square in the eye and lifted the pipe from his mouth.
听鈥淚 know yu well, yu boy yu, 鈥 yu have the features of yur grandfather, 鈥︹ an manys the Fair Day I spent with John Joe, God rest 鈥榠m.鈥 听
He replaced the pipe and recommenced puffing.
鈥淗ow are yu keeping anyway Paddy?鈥 I enquired caringly. He didn鈥檛 answer.
鈥淵ou may shout, he鈥檚 a bit deaf at times,鈥 volunteered the lassie with an encouraging smile as she washed down the dresser. I repeated the question, louder. He hunched his shoulders defensively and lifted the pipe from his mouth, a web of spittle forming in the cavity as he motioned to speak.
鈥淚鈥檓 still here!鈥 he replied, loud and testily. He spat forcefully into the open fire, the spittle blistering odiously on the red-hot turf.
鈥淲hat age are yu now, Paddy?鈥 I enquired keeping up the conversation, yet distracted by the voluptuous figure of the female, her beautiful red hair, her endearing smile, and her tantalising blue eyes.
听 His lips puckered meditatively for a moment before answering.
听鈥淚鈥檓 in my 鈥︹︹ eighty-fifth year,鈥 he boasted his right hand rising shakily from the stick and brushing futilely the meagre hair across his cratered waxen skull.
鈥淲ould yu tak a bottle of stout Paddy?鈥 says I, opening the neck of the brown paper bag.
鈥淎ye! 鈥 I wud in soul,鈥 says he. He straightened up in euphoric anticipation. Setting his stick to rest against his bony thigh his features developed an expression of childish innocence. I opened the bottle and the froth emerged like a great brown slug. He reached hastily for the bottle, his hand trembling, his eyes glowing like a child expecting sweets. The knotted hand closed tightly on the bottle. 鈥淕ood luck to yu!鈥 says he and he raised the bottle to his mouth. Distended lips encapsulated the rising slug and he supped the froth, noisily.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 a fine bottle of stout,鈥 says he, holding the bottle at arms length, squinting to read the label, the brown stain of porter running guileless down his unshaven chin.
鈥淲ell yur sticking the times rightly,鈥 I commented stealing a glance towards the granddaughter.
鈥 Aye! 鈥︹ I am that鈥. I canne complain,鈥 he replied nonchantly, then lowering his head back he shook the dregs into his toothless mouth and smacked his puckered lips appreciatively. I glanced across the room and our eyes locked, beautiful smiling blue eyes.
鈥淵ou鈥檒l have another Paddy,鈥 says I reaching into the brown paper bag. We talked in loud voices for a while, Paddy, his loosened tongue rambling, my eyes savouring his beautiful grand-daughter, she, teasing me in her own subtle way yet lending nothing to the conversation but her ears.
鈥淵ur a lucky man Paddy to have such a fine lassie to look after yu.鈥
鈥淎ye! 鈥. Anne鈥檚 a grand girl, 鈥 she comes over of a Saturday to clean the place, 鈥︹ aye a grand girl.鈥
A slight flush of embarrassment rose to her delicate cheeks and I smiled supportively. Paddy raised the empty bottle and supped the last ostentatiously. I crumbled the paper bag in like fashion.
鈥淎h! 鈥.. I鈥檝e taken all your stout,鈥 he mumbled, his heavy tongue lethargic.
鈥淣ot at鈥檒l Paddy! 鈥︹ sur I enjoyed the craic!鈥

听听听听听听听听听听听 The conversation eased and I watched old Paddy鈥檚 eyes go heavy. He waved precariously on the wooden stool and I reached forward to support the feeble body.
听鈥淢aybe yu鈥檇 like to lie down Paddy,鈥 says I caringly, 鈥渢he heat of that fire鈥檚 putting you to sleep.鈥 He slewed his face mechanically in my direction. Vacant eyes stared from their gaunt sockets. He arose, steadied himself briefly and then shuffled flaccidly towards the low room door, grunting in gasps as he went.
听听听听听听听听听听听 There was silence for a few minutes then Anne set down her cloth in the enamel basin and came across the kitchen floor, a frown of curiosity on her tender features. She stepped quietly into the low room, her head bobbing searchingly on her stretched neck. She returned and closed the door quietly, a clink of metal sounding as she released her thumb from the brass latch.
鈥淭here鈥檚 no flies on you, Gerry Quigley,鈥 says she in a raised whisper, her eyes slitted in an amusing grin. I caught her tenderly as she passed and she dropped willingly on my knee.
鈥淚t鈥檚 just yu and mi and we have the whole afternoon to ourselves,鈥 says I nodding towards the upper room.
鈥淕et away a鈥 that with you!鈥 she replied frivolously, shaking herself teasingly.
鈥淵our a fine lassie Anne an sure what better way to spend an afternoon than in the company of yourself,鈥 says I pulling a half-pint of whiskey from my inside pocket.
听鈥淚 kept this for you an myself.鈥
鈥淎h! 鈥.. get away a鈥 that! .. your only telling me that now my granddad鈥檚 in bed,鈥 says she guardedly.
鈥淛asus! You hardly think I would waste good whiskey on oul Paddy,鈥 says I caustically, 鈥渟ur it wud be singin or fightin he鈥檇 be at if I gave him this.鈥
I removed the top and handed it to Anne. Hesitantly, a wavering grin of indecision on her face, she took the bottle, put it to her lips and swigged a few drams tentatively. Her neck and shoulders gave an involuntary shiver and as she swallowed, her face screwed up like a closed fist.
鈥淭ake a good sup Anne, it鈥檒l do yu the power o鈥 good.鈥
I took the bottle and slaked my thirst greedily.
听听听听听听听听听听听 As the level in the bottle descended, her modesty receded. I pulled her closer, her plump breasts sandwiched passionately between our bodies. I felt the gentle heat of her warm buttocks upon my thighs. Her resolve weakened, we locked passionately.
鈥淟et鈥檚 get more comfortable,鈥 says I nodding towards the upper room.
鈥淣o! ..No! I鈥檇 be killed if my dad ever found out,鈥 she mumbled followed by a burst of gigglish laughter. I gently covered her mouth smothering the ensuing childish guffaw. Holding each other for support we lurched unsteadily to the upper room and fell merrily on the bed.

听听听听听听听听听听听 鈥淕erry!听 Gerry!听 Wake up my granddads up, I heard him rattling the tongs in the kitchen.鈥
鈥淲ha鈥hats wrong? I uttered in bewilderment, as I recollected my senses.
鈥淢y granddad鈥檚 up 鈥. He鈥檒l catch us on! What鈥檒l we say we were doing in the bedroom? she exclaimed frantically, her hands trembling, her face pale.
鈥淐atch us at what? I asked facetiously, a mule kicking my head, my throat parched, 鈥渟ur we didn鈥檛 do anything, 鈥e fell asleep.鈥澨
听鈥淕erry! Please鈥 get up quickly! ..You... you鈥檒l have to go!鈥 she stuttered in panic, 鈥 you may get out the window.鈥
听听听听听听听听听听听 She quietly moved a small table and the widow sash squeaked as she raised the lower half.
鈥淚s that you Anne?鈥 came the feeble shout from the kitchen. We both froze!
鈥淵ud better answer 鈥榠m,鈥 I whispered diffidently, my eyes searching for a hiding place should he venture down.
鈥淵es! ..it鈥檚 me, granddad, 鈥淚鈥檓 tidying the room.
A sense of urgency ensued and with Anne鈥檚 support, I eased my lower body out onto the gravel street.
鈥淲hen will I see you again? I asked, my head and shoulders still protruding through the open window.
鈥淗urry up and get out!鈥 she begged in exaggerated whispers, her clenched fists shaking with emotion.
鈥淣ot until I get a kiss and a date,鈥 says I with pretentious confidence, my eye guardedly watching the room door. She stared momentarily at me, her cheeks pale, her hair dishevelled, and then she leaned forward and gave me a quick peck on the lips; the sour taste of whiskey on her breath.
鈥淎n' a date?鈥
鈥淥h you! 鈥 I鈥檒l see you at the dance on Sunday night. You may comb that hair before you walk through the village, it鈥檚 sticking up everywhere, anyone would think you were only out of bed.鈥
听鈥淎h! 鈥.. but whose bed?鈥 says I teasingly.
A flush of embarrassment rose in her gaunt feature as my words penetrated. I withdrew and the window closed with a squeak. She put her slim fingers to her lips and blew me a kiss.

鈥淒amn the drink!鈥 I cursed as I walked home unsteadily, 鈥渁n' bad scust to old Paddy and his forty winks.鈥


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