There have always been three of us in my marriage.听Me, my husband Gerry, and Gerry's mum Dorothea. I remember hearing that immortal comment from Princess Diana years ago, and thinking at the time that I knew exactly how she felt.听Because there are very many different ways that a marriage can involve three people.听And seldom, in my observations at least, does a marital relationship involve just two. Strangely, I don't think Dorothea had given much thought to my relationship with her son; it was something she did not worry her pretty head about.听Until, our wedding day, when the awful realisation that he would actually leave her to live with another woman finally struck. She began to sniffle when he slipped the ring on my finger, and I thought that was fairly acceptable, the done thing in an emotional moment.听However, her sobs were uncontrollable as the ink dried on the newly-signed register, and when we strode down the aisle as man and wife and her hiccupping wails began to reverberate eerily around the church, drowning out the beautiful melodic organ and soaking her corsage of white freesias, I knew I was done for. I managed to shrug off the first five years.听The finger marks on my dusty mantel when she visited, the drawn-out stories of how she loved to cook Gerry's favourite meals and a list of the ingredients and methods she recommended.听'I'll show you if you like ...' There were countless thoughtless comments over the years, beginning with the classic "doesn't that wedding dress make his suit stand out nice", as we showed off our wedding photographs, and the family reunion where she informed the gathered throng that "Gerry was going to take me on a trip to the USA - but then he got married instead." And although I yearned for a bit of motherly love of my own, to be part of this new family, I realised her love would never come my way.听It was nothing personal against me, and I knew I'd done nothing wrong, but her ability to love me as a daughter in law was simply prohibited by her blind love for my husband, Gerry, her son. Of course, Gerry shrugged it off too, as I suppose any man would stuck in the middle of two such devoted women and eager to please us both without upsetting the other. Then Gerry's dad died, and I was the one who lost her husband - completely and relentlessly, or so it felt.听And how wretched and evil I felt then, begrudging her my husband鈥檚 company while I hankered for it myself.听She was on her own, grieving.听 What right did I have to feel so bereft myself?听 Gerry agreed.听'She's my mother!听I can't abandon her when she needs me. When we have kids, you'd want them to be supportive, wouldn't you?听I'm all she's got!' He was right, and I was unfair.听Began to pine to spend time with Gerry.听Somehow she always seemed to need him on the occasions I'd looked forward to, the times we'd planned to spend time together.听My birthday, when he'd booked a meal in our favourite restaurant.听She was feeling low, desperate; he had to go to her.听Valentine's Day, when I'd booked a weekend away and she couldn't be on her own, was feeling particularly needy.听 But wasn't I too?听I seemed to be growing needier by the minute.听I remonstrated with myself, pushed my thoughts aside as any selfish woman should. Then our beautiful daughter, Ruby, arrived.听When we'd almost given up trying.听And if my presence couldn't keep him at home, then Ruby - with her dark hair and china blue eyes, and rapacious love for us both, most certainly could.听With just a dimpled smile and chubby, outstretched arms.听听听 Now there were four of us in my marriage.听But this beautiful addition didn't worry me at all, because she loved us both equally.听Of course, Gerry was besotted, and I often had to shield the calls, be the bad guy who said he "was out with Ruby, reading a story to Ruby, giving Ruby a bath." Would ring back later. I could sense Dorothea's surprise down the telephone line - she'd never come second before in this race for attention.听And although she minded at first, Ruby was her first, and long awaited, grandchild and she loved her passionately.听Began to spend time with her when I went shopping, babysat her when Gerry and I went out together, and slowly and steadily, began to rekindle our passion.听 More strikingly, Dorothea seemed aware of me now, as if for the first time, smiled and laughed in my company, said on one memorable occasion what a wonderful mother I was.听So giving, so sharing.听 'I never wanted to share Gerry with anyone ...' she said slowly, regarding me with a wary smile.听'I am so sorry ...' 'I know ... I know ...' Tonight is Valentine's night, and after a special meal, we're spending the night in a hotel.听Leaving our precious daughter with granny.听For what better solution could there possibly be to our love triangle, than a new member.听听 Now Dorothea pushes us eagerly through the door. 'It's fine, you two go off and leave me in charge!听Ruby and I have the evening planned!' I look at Gerry, the handsome, kind-hearted man I married, who struggled for years to be fair to both Dorothea and me.听I see his eyes dance with the realisation that Ruby's arrival has finally delivered his freedom. 'Hi, sweetheart.'听I whisper, snuggling up to him on the hotel's four-poster bed, sipping champagne.听'I've missed you so.'听 Gerry takes my glass, rests it on the bedside table, and pulls me into his arms for a long, passionate kiss.听 'Me too, my darling.听Me too!' | 
