成人快手

Warning: This article contains details that some people will find very distressing.

Jack was the older of the two. He was 12 and he was a musician.

鈥淢usic ran through his veins like water runs down a stream.鈥�

He was a talented trumpet player. His music teachers thought he might go all the way. He dreamed of studying music at university. A lovely, quiet, gentle boy.

Paul was cheeky and full of confidence. A good sportsman - a runner, a sprinter.

鈥淚 think he ran before he could walk.鈥�

Jack was. Paul was. Both are now dead.

On Wednesday 22 October 2014 the boys were murdered by their father.

Claire Throssell鈥檚 flat is full of photos and other reminders of her two sons.

She will never forget the last time she saw them.

Since then she has been fighting. Both to remember them but also to try to prevent a tragedy like this happening again.

Claire had lived all of her life in a small market town in South Yorkshire. She met her husband Darren at a work function one evening and the relationship moved quickly.

His attentive behaviour seemed to be just part of the intensity of a young relationship. There were regular flowers and phone calls. They married and children followed. The family were living in a house by a viaduct, a river and a park.

But Claire began to realise something was wrong. Her husband was too 鈥渃aring鈥�. He was too interested in what she was up to. His behaviour was too intense. There started to be something slightly sinister in his character.

Claire now knows this was . It鈥檚 against the law in England and Wales, and Scotland moved to legislate this year. A law has been drafted in Northern Ireland but is yet to go through.

Professionals are trained to look out for manipulative and controlling actions. It鈥檚 when a person, typically a partner, repeatedly behaves in a way which makes someone feel dependent, isolated or scared.

Claire鈥檚 husband completely controlled her life. Repeated phone calls while she was at the supermarket, insults about how she looked, calling her stupid, distancing her from her friends and family, controlling the finances.

鈥淚t had got to a point where I couldn't even look in the mirror and recognise the person that was looking back at me. My self-confidence had gone.鈥�

The boys were becoming more and more cautious around their father. He imposed heavy discipline. With Paul, the younger, his father became bullying over his food - he was made to eat things he didn鈥檛 want to. One time he was forced into a chair to eat.

The boys regularly saw their father insulting and shouting at their mother.

鈥淛ack in particular would say, 'Stop threatening my mum'.鈥�

It was April 2014 and after many years of this difficult life, Claire decided she was leaving for good.

鈥淭he whole process was made even harder by the fact that he was very controlling and aggressive, and things deteriorated very quickly between us.鈥�

Her husband stayed in the marital home, while Claire and the boys moved into her mother鈥檚 house. Initially Claire and her husband agreed on shared custody, but her husband鈥檚 controlling and aggressive behaviour was escalating. He had a track record, having once been cautioned for assaulting a neighbour.

The police were aware that there could be trouble. They put a high priority tag on Claire鈥檚 phone and her mother鈥檚 address - in the event of an emergency call, they would send an immediate response car.

But Claire worried every time her boys went to see their father.

In June, Paul became very upset at school. He told his teachers that his dad had hurt him in the past - dragging him along by the throat.

This was the final straw. Claire applied for an emergency residency order to stop the shared custody of the boys. As well as Paul鈥檚 complaint, Claire鈥檚 submission included two remarks her husband had made to her - that 鈥渉e had nothing to live for and intended to commit suicide鈥� and that 鈥渉e can understand fathers killing their children鈥�.

A court hearing concluded with an interim arrangement for much more limited access to the boys for Claire鈥檚 husband. Although he had agreed to this, along with Claire, this angered him further.

He took Claire鈥檚 belongings from the family home and threw them into the front garden of her mother鈥檚 house.

Abusive texts and messages followed in a torrent. After he threatened to kill himself, Claire called the police.

Even then he was trying to control Claire. He told the police that he would only talk to them if she came to the house as well.

Claire always had a feeling that her estranged husband was capable of hurting the boys. She still questions whether she could have done more to prevent the contact visits they had with their father.

鈥淭hings really got out of control, because he'd lost control.鈥�

The boys were allowed to see their father for five hours each week on Sunday afternoons and Wednesday after school, from August 2014. This was unsupervised.

But Claire knew the boys didn鈥檛 want to spend any time with their father.

By the middle of October 2014, the divorce had come through.

Cafcass - the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service - was involved. Claire had warned the service that her estranged husband was often volatile and aggressive, especially when he was told things he didn鈥檛 want to hear.

There had already been two hearings. The final one was set for 17 November 2014.

A 鈥淪ection 7鈥� was requested. This report was to include the wishes and feelings of Jack and Paul so the judge could help make the decision about the boys鈥� contact with their father. It was expected to be ready two weeks before the November hearing.

That hearing never happened.

The morning of Wednesday 22 October 2014 started off the same as any other morning. Claire went to drop Jack off at his grammar school. She said 鈥淚 love you鈥�, as she always did.

He called back, as he always did, with Buzz Lightyear鈥檚 line from Toy Story, 鈥淭o infinity and beyond鈥�.

Jack always looked back once. But Claire remembers on that morning he turned and looked back a second time before walking into school.

Claire dropped Paul off at his school. He had the exact same ritual as his brother. When she said 鈥淚 love you鈥�, he said, 鈥淭o infinity and beyond鈥�.

She went to work.

The boys were due to see their father after school. He had put a train track in the attic in the old family home. He had texted that morning saying he had two new trains for them, and all he needed was two drivers.

Just before 5pm, Claire says she got a call from an officer at Cafcass. The officer later said the call was routine, but Claire gives a slightly different account of it.

The boy鈥檚 father had come into Cafcass on Monday that week, two days before, and it hadn鈥檛 gone well.

The Cafcass officer wanted to know - Claire recalls - if the visit between the boys and their father was going ahead. Claire said they were already there. The Cafcass officer suggested Claire keep an eye on them when they returned from the visit.

When she got home from work, Claire felt deeply uneasy.

There was a knock at the door. Claire鈥檚 mother said it would be the boys, back early.

But the boys would never have knocked. They used to rush straight in.

Claire found a policeman at the front door. 鈥淭here's been an incident at the house.鈥�

She said: 鈥淗e's done it hasn't he? He's done something to them.鈥�

The officer wouldn鈥檛 say more but the look on his face was enough.

鈥淚 knew, I knew.

鈥淚t took 15 minutes for my life to end... and my existence to begin鈥�

Jack and Paul had gone up into the attic to play with their new trains. Their father had blocked the front and back doors before setting fires all around the home.

He joined them up in the loft, closing the hatch and trapping them.

The first firefighter found Jack on the landing and picked him up. But he was already badly burned. He had tried to escape and get help for his brother.

Despite his condition, he went on to reveal what had happened. 鈥淢y dad did this and he did it on purpose.鈥�

He and his brother were rushed to Sheffield Children鈥檚 Hospital - Jack had 56% burns and Paul was unconscious.

Their father was taken to another hospital in the city, where he died.

A police car sped Claire to the hospital to see her children.

鈥淚 went into a room and the consultant was drenched in sweat.

鈥淭here was Paul and they were doing CPR on him. I knew pretty much that there was no hope.鈥�

The doctor stopped the CPR and Claire held Paul in her arms. 鈥淢y tears were in his hair. And his hair was damp. His eyes closed and it was just as if nothing... was looking back.

鈥淚 promised him that no other parent would have to do what I did... and hold a child in their arms whilst they died, knowing it's at the hands of somebody who should love and protect them.鈥�

Jack was transferred to the Royal Manchester Children鈥檚 Hospital for specialist burns treatment. Claire stayed by his bedside for the next five days. She finally said goodbye on 27 October.

That was the day that Jack had been due to give his views about his father for the Section 7 report. He never got the chance to be heard.

Only a very small proportion of abusive spouses go on to commit murder.

Each time though, questions are asked as to whether the authorities could have done more.

There are serious case reviews.

Claire feels that Cafcass let down her children. Claire learned from the police that the boys鈥� father had blocked the family liaison officer in her office on Monday 20 October - two days before the fire.

Claire says that if only she鈥檇 been told promptly about that, she would never have allowed her sons to see their father later in the same week.

Cafcass does acknowledge the meeting had to be stopped but doesn鈥檛 believe there was any indication that the boys' father might cause immediate harm to them.

鈥淐afcass accepted the findings of the coroner and the serious case review, who agreed that the children died due to unlawful killing and that no public authority could have predicted or prevented the tragedy,鈥� a spokesman says.

鈥淗owever, we do regret that some aspects of our work with Ms Throssell鈥檚 family did not meet the high standards we set for our staff.鈥�

Cafcass says it has now improved the way it assesses risk. 鈥淲e continuously develop our practice and this year launched a Domestic Abuse Practice Pathway, which provides our staff with a clear, robust framework to assess cases involving domestic abuse.鈥�

The into Jack and Paul鈥檚 deaths at the hands of their father said: 鈥淭he vast majority of estranged fathers would not consider such actions and... there is no known way of identifying those who will do so.鈥�

But while it is only a small minority who murder, there is a great deal of other harm that is done.

Could more be done to put the interests of the children at the heart of how we deal with abusive relationships?

Claire now spends her time campaigning and working with the charity Women鈥檚 Aid to highlight the effects that domestic violence and coercive behaviour have on children.

The charity points to statistics that are sobering.

Women鈥檚 Aid want the authorities to understand domestic abuse and coercive and controlling behaviour. The group says that a joined-up response, early intervention and support are essential.

Claire says that when children witness domestic abuse, it ends up 鈥済oing into their whole being鈥�.

Jane (not her real name) knows exactly what Claire is talking about. Jane has taken her children and left her controlling and physically abusive partner.

She put up with nearly five years of terror. She knew this would affect the rest of her children鈥檚 lives. One night she fled with them in a taxi.

Jane had been trapped in a life of control.

The curtains had to remain shut, family days out didn鈥檛 exist. She was told what to wear, she was told who to speak to, and she was made to lie to social workers. She was not allowed to show affection to her children. Jane was left on her own, to care for her children as well as those from his extended family, while regularly being insulted.

鈥淵eah I've had black eyes. Like he never outright punched me in the eye. But I've had elbows and knees鈥� or my head would be bashed off something or stuff might be thrown at me. All of this happened while the kids were there.鈥�

As Jane recounts the desperate times, tears pour down her face.

鈥淵ou'd be in the middle of having this fight and you'd be looking at your kids, and you could just see the fear. You can't get out of the situation. I hated the fact that they were so confused by it.鈥�

Life was never normal. If the children ever expressed interest in a game or an activity, they were always made to feel it was wrong. They were never allowed to make a mistake.

Jane鈥檚 case isn鈥檛 rare.

Dame Vera Baird QC, Police and Crime Commissioner for the Northumbria police force area, has long campaigned about domestic abuse. She has been introducing changes. Northumbria Police was the first to carry out force-wide training on how to spot coercive and controlling behaviour.

Now Dame Vera wants to focus on the court system and give more protection and understanding to victims. She believes there is a problem when access arrangements are being made for families where domestic abuse is prevalent.

鈥淭he perpetrator can pursue them right or wrong through the family court and actually use that court really to carry out abuse and continue the abuse.鈥�

The Ministry of Justice has accepted the law must change. 鈥淲e will legislate to give family courts the power to stop abusers from cross-examining their victims in family proceedings,鈥� a spokesman says. 鈥淎nd we are investing more than 拢1bn to modernise our courts system, to make it more sensitive and accessible to victims and witnesses.鈥�

Of course, there are those who think it's easy to go too far in criticising the family court system, and who point out their duty to try to make sure children have their parents in their lives.

鈥淥bviously there are tragic cases that have been dealt with by the Family Court and one death is too many,鈥� says Chris Fairhurst, a family law specialist at Slater and Gordon, 鈥渂ut if you look at the private law cases alone that Cafcass is dealing with, it is in excess of 40,000 a year and generally the balance appears right, although there's always room for improvement.

鈥淭he beauty of our family law system is that it is largely discretionary and flexible, treating people as human beings, taking account of their faults. By all means you should have guidance on these types of issues, but once you start tying the hands of judges too much, you can enter dangerous territory.鈥�

It鈥檚 the effect on the children that still haunts Jane. One of the boys has become very quiet and withdrawn while another struggles to control his anger.

With the help of family and a local charity, Jane is rebuilding her life in a different part of the country. The children are settled in school, and she has a light, airy, clean, welcoming house for them all to come home to. Jane is now getting ready for Christmas. She is determined to make special memories for the rest of their childhood.

Every morning a special team at Northumbria Police HQ scans a log of calls, ready to pass information on to schools. Steve Dixon, leader of the Protecting Vulnerable People team, recounts a typical case.

鈥淢am has been assaulted by dad, a child has been present during this incident. The child is 11 years old. Mam has been taken to hospital and dad has been arrested at the scene by police.鈥�

When that 11-year old comes into school, there will be someone to greet them who will understand what鈥檚 happened to them.

It鈥檚 all down to Operation Encompass.

It began in a Devon primary school when head teacher Elisabeth Carney-Haworth noticed a dramatic behavioural change in one of the children.

鈥樷�橶e didn鈥檛 know why. The child couldn鈥檛 tell us. We spoke to the child鈥檚 mother and she couldn鈥檛 tell us either. 鈥樷��

The little boy had been exposed to domestic violence at home. But it took months for Elisabeth to find that out. She was furious that she had not been told earlier, so that the school could have acted faster to help.

She knows how devastating domestic abuse can be to children. 鈥� that the bits of their brains that 鈥榝ire up鈥� are exactly the same as in soldiers exposed to combat with PTSD.鈥�

When she told her police sergeant husband, David, of her frustration, he agreed that things had to change. was born with the start of a line of communication between the police and seven schools in Devon.

For each school, the police are in direct contact with a trained 鈥渒ey adult鈥� - usually the head teacher. Whenever a child is caught up in an incident of domestic abuse the school is told immediately.

Elisabeth says: 鈥淭he first thing we will do is greet that child with a smile. If they鈥檝e not got school uniform on, we can find school uniform. We can check that they鈥檝e had breakfast and that they are all right.

鈥淭hey need school to be a safe, secure, nurturing environment.鈥�

Now Operation Encompass has been taken up by more than 22 of the 43 police forces in England and Wales. The ambition is to eventually cover the entire UK.

Things are changing. In September, new guidance was published for judges and magistrates in child contact cases where domestic abuse has been alleged.

Sir James Munby, the president of the Family Division of the High Court for England and Wales, .

Wording now sets out what judges and magistrates are 鈥渞equired鈥� to do rather than what they 鈥渟hould鈥� do in cases where there is domestic abuse.

It's now mandatory for the courts to determine whether children and non-abusive parents will be at risk of harm from a contact order.

The definitions of domestic abuse, coercive control and the harms caused to children have been clarified.

Judges must carefully consider how domestic abuse affects children, and question whether the 鈥減resumption of contact鈥� applies.

These all change how the courts and other authorities weigh up risk when it comes to allowing allegedly abusive partners access to their children.

But for campaigners like Claire there is still more that needs to be done.

We met Melissa in the early hours of a Saturday morning. She was sitting in her sparsely furnished flat in the north-east of England. There had been a fire in the stairwell recently and the blackened peeling paint covered the wall. She was curled up on the sofa. She hadn鈥檛 eaten all day.

We had arrived with the domestic abuse response car - police officer PC Michael Urwin and Gemma Ridley from Wearside Women in Need, who has years of experience supporting women like Melissa.

Melissa had been in an abusive relationship for nearly five years. When we spoke to her, the tears came as she thought of the baby taken away by social services. Melissa says she was essentially forced to chose between her abusive partner and her newborn baby.

鈥淗e鈥檚 taken everything away from me. I鈥檓 in so much pain. It鈥檚 ruined my life basically.鈥�

The abusive relationship meant that social services couldn鈥檛 let Melissa keep her baby son.

鈥淗e wasn't bothered. He wanted me more than anything. He controlled us really badly.鈥�

Melissa is trying to turn her life around. She has Wearside Women in Need for support and she has a job now, for the first time in a long time.

She now realises the cost of the years of her ex-partner鈥檚 controlling behaviour and she wants change. Her battle is to rebuild her life.

For Claire, there is a wider battle - to change attitudes in courts and council offices and police stations.

She will continue to fight.