SURROGATE MOTHERSWhat
drives the women who conceive children they know they'll give away?
Inside
Out gets to the heart of surrogate motherhood with the first hand
experience of two mothers from West Yorkshire. DevastationInside
Out Reporter Sophie Hull met two friends who arranged their own
surrogacy. | Ruth's
medical problems left her feeling incomplete |
Sarah
Lewis of Leeds, was devastated after medical problems left her unable
to have more children. She
says, "We felt our family wasn't complete". Sarah
and her partner John let family and friends know they were considering
surrogacy. FriendsRuth
Langford, a mother of three teenage daughters, stepped in and offered
to have a child for the couple. "When
I heard about their situation I thought, ‘I could do that.’" Ruth
bore baby Joseph two and a half years ago through ‘traditional surrogacy’,
one of two surrogacy methods: - Straight/traditional
surrogacy
- The
egg of the surrogate mother and the sperm of the intended father
are used. Conceiving is easier this way but it is often emotionally
harder.
- Host/gestation
surrogacy
- The
egg of the intended mother is combined with the sperm of her
partner. The surrogate mother is almost like an incubator for
another couple's baby. An IVF clinic must be used. It is harder
to conceive through this method but often emotionally easier.
Ruth
is Joseph’s biological mother, a fact which both say will never
be kept from Joseph. Ruth
says many people don't understand her reasons for giving him away. "People
say I gave away my child, but he was never mine to give away." MotivationInside
Out has learned that early findings of a new study are proving Ruth's
attitude is quite common. It
suggests that women are unlikely to form a maternal bond with a
child they know will be brought up by someone else. Carol
O'Reilly of Surrogacy UK confirms these findings. After
having three children of her own and three surrogate babies for
childless couples she says it's simply an act of generosity. She
says, "If someone close to you needed a kidney you'd give it, so
why not use your womb to provide someone with a better life?" GenerosityIt
is illegal to become a surrogate mother commercially in the UK.
| Joseph
enjoy a walk in the park |
This
deters most women who are becoming surrogate mothers for reasons
other than the immense gratification they feel at giving others
the joy of a child. It
is also illegal to advertise for a surrogate mother in the UK. So
many surrogate mothers are friends or relatives of the intended
parents. This
makes the relationship even stronger. Happy
familyFor Ruth
and Sarah, the situation works perfectly.
Joseph
is a happy child who is lucky enough to have a ‘biological’ and
a ‘real’ mum. Ruth
can feel satisfied in the knowledge that she has made the Lewis
family complete and very happy. |